Last night’s episode of “Game of Thrones” was entitled “Baelor,” in reference to an ancient king and religious figure in the world of Westeros. Personally, I think a better title would have been “Shit Happens, People Die.” Of course, that title could apply to most episodes of the series, but the deaths in question have never been this shocking.
(Click Here To Check Out Our Other Gif Recaps)
We begin with Varys paying another visit to poor Ned Stark, who is still stuck in a dungeon awaiting his fate. Although it’s hard to gauge the motives of a man with no balls, Varys seems to genuinely want to help Ned. His advice is to plead for mercy, and hope that Queen Cersei and the new king will grant him exile with the Night’s Watch. Ned isn’t trilled about the idea, but considers it, if only to spare the lives of his daughters.
Meanwhile, Robb and the men of Winterfell are marching south with the hope of rescuing Ned and the girls. However, to get where they are going, they must first cross the river controlled by Lord Frey, a man they trust so little that they kill any messenger ravens coming from his castle out of fear he may contact the Lannisters.
Because they fear he will take Robb prisoner, Lady Stark heads in to bargain with Frey, who she has known since she was a child. Speaking of children, Lord Frey seems to have a thing for young girls, since he’ taken one as his wife.
The bitter old man only agrees to let the Starks cross in exchange for marrying off his children. Robb is less than thrilled with the prospect of marrying one of the ugly Frey girls, but he has no choice.
Across the narrow sea, things aren’t going well for Khal Drogo. His cut from last week’s episode has become infected, and it is thought that he hasn’t much longer to live.
In a last-ditch effort to save her husband (and her role as Khaleesi), Dany brings in the “doctor” (a.k.a. witch) from last week’s show, who begins to perform a “blood magic” ceremony in which “the dead will dance.” This doesn’t go over well with the others, who generally discourage the dead from dancing in their camp. At any rate, the Khal’s horse is used in the ceremony, and eventually shipped off to the glue factory.
When some really strange sounds start coming from the Khal’s tent, one of his men gets fed up and heads in to kill the witch. When Dany tries to stop him, she is pushed to the ground. Jorah Mormont steps in to protect her, and although he is less skilled with a sword, his armor allows him to perform the obligatory head slice. Soon after, Dany is in labor, and apparently the only one who can deliver the child is the witch, which is probably a bad thing, since she’s busy conjuring the dead.
Of all the characters that could have died, safe money was on the Imp. After all, when you force a three-foot man onto the battle field, things are not going to end well. It seems Tyrion didn’t like his chances much either. He commandeers another man’s prostitute, tells her sad stories about his first love, and asks her to bang him like it’s his last night on earth.
But despite the odds, the halfman survives. At the beginning of the battle, he was accidentally knocked unconscious. When he awoke, it was over, and the Lannisters (with the help of the tribesmen) were victorious. Or so it seemed.
In fact, the Starks had tricked Tywin’s army, sending only 2000 men, and sending the other 18,000 to capture Jamie Lannister. With Jamie in custody, it would seem that Robb now has the bargaining power he needs to win the release of his father.
Although that may prove difficult, now that Ned Stark is without his head. After agreeing to confess to treason in exchange for his life and the lives of his family, Ned is double-crossed by King Joffrey, who went against the wishes of his mother and inner-circle. Both Sansa and Arya are in attendance for the beheading, although Arya is hiding in the crowd.
And with that, another week is behind us, and only one episode remains for this season. Already, some fans of the show are complaining about the fact that the main character has been killed off. To them I say, what the hell do you want HBO to do about it? It’s based on a book. If they let him live, the hardcore fans would mutiny. Somehow, I also don’t think George R. R. Martin would sit by and watch as his work is butchered just so Sean Bean could keep getting a paycheck. Besides, wouldn’t you rather watch a show where anything can happen? I’m sad to see the character go, but I appreciate the fact that I never saw it coming.