TV recaps can be the worst. After all, reading about a show defeats the entire purpose. If I wanted to “think,” I wouldn’t be watching television to begin with. But if I miss an episode, and I don’t have time to find it online, recaps are the only option. And there’s nothing sadder than being forced to read a thousand-word summary just to find out who was voted off “Top Chef.” If only someone offered the mindlessness of television without all the over-analysis of your average recap. Now someone does!
With Professor Duncan back on the sauce, anthropology class is a whole lot easier for everyone involved, much to the dismay of Annie. After voicing her concern that Duncan’s “everyone gets an A” grading scale isn’t fair to those who actually study, the professor instructs the other students to throw paper balls at her head until she sits down. They are happy to oblige.
When Professor Duncan threatens to give Shirley an A minus for not drinking with the rest of the class, she reminds him that she is pregnant. Chang, the child’s suspected father, tells her not to worry, since Chang babies “love the sauce,” referring to both alcohol and duck.
Shortly there after, Shirley goes into labor. To make matters worse, the Dean stops by with a reporter from “Dean Magazine.” Attempts to call an ambulance prove futile, as a race riot (or as the Dean calls it, a “race kerfuffle”) has broken out at the international food festival in the parking lot. Britta attempts to step in and save the day, but the sight of Shirley’s nether region proves too grotesque.
While the birth is underway, Abed and Troy have bigger fish to fry. Pierce has offered the duo a thousand dollars for the rights to use their special handshake. The two break down and accept, but feel used after Pierce forces them to shake after a reference to the long-dead actress “Betty Grable!” Now that they have sold out the handshake, they find it is no longer special, much to Pierce’s delight.
Meanwhile, the dean tries to help Shirley deliver her child. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a clue as to what he is doing. Abed turns out to be an expert on the matter of child birth, but Shirley is uncomfortable with a man examining her vagina.
As such, Britta is forced to overcome her fears and step up to the plate. Chang also helps out, calming Shirley down with tales of “baby Chang” child births involving labor camps, pickle barrels and a treadmill at a Bally’s Total Fitness.
Just before the baby is born, Andre (Shirley’s husband) arrives along with some EMTs. But Britta waves them off, and delivers the child on her own. Chang is disappointed to find that the child is not his. He can tell because it lacks a tail, something all baby Changs are born with. However, he bows out gracefully, and Shirley rewards him for his help by naming her new son Ben. Troy and Abed also find that their handshake is still special if used at a special moment.
In the end, even the Dean finds happiness. Despite the chaos and the “race kerfuffle,” the reporter agrees to write a glowing story about him for “Dean Magazine,” the prospect of which causes the Dean to jump for joy. Unfortunately, the magazine folds after only two issues, and is widely panned as the worst magazine idea ever.