Have you ever wanted to see a parallel universe controlled by a reverse Entoruage entropy where Vince fails miserably and Turtle manages to pull the unimaginable ass? Well, then your wish is granted in this latest episode. And, frankly, this reviewer doesn’t mind a quick glimpse into that Bizarro world.
Vince, Ari, E & Drama:
All three paths converge once again as Vince finally gets a real shot at performing for the über-pretentious Verner. Tensions have been running high on the set for awhile and Verner promised Vince a real shot at impressing him. Everything seems copacetic until Vince is up in a tree, blasted with soot and grime, repeating the same lines over and over again. No matter how he yells, or tears up, or anything, Verner is unhappy. Something has to give, and Vince’s parachute is the first thing to go.
Vince and Verner get into a shouting match that ends in Verner kicking Mr. Chase right off the set. Even though he tried so hard to take some criticism, Vince cannot take the director’s dictatorship. And so, the shit hits the fan.
Ari practicaly rips off his shirt to reveal an A for Super Agent on his chest; before you can scream "Lloyd!", he is on Jerry Bruckheimer’s plane and jets to Big Bear. He banks on a call to Dana Gordon to save Vince’s place in the movie. Eventually, all parties involved end up in a meeting and Gordon tries to scream Verner into getting back on the set with Vince (all as a favor to Ari, of course). But, Verner isn’t having it; he stages a blitzkrieg for John Ellis’ office. By the time it’s all over, the entire film is shut down. Everyone has to swallow their pride and they book seats in (gasp) coach for a flight back to Queens. Turtle just barefly makes it to join them on the flight.
Come to think of it, where has Turtle been?
After his mile-high escapades with the former Soprano, Turtle gets a 3 AM booty call at the beginning of the episode from Jamie Lyn-Sigler. He is nearly as surprised as the viewer that Ms. Sigler wants to go for round two. Don’t hold your breath for the punchline: Turtle really does get to spend some more quality time with her. In fact, she takes him out for jambalaya. That is something you just don’t do with the sidekick. Despite all of Turtle’s efforts to convince her that he just ain’t good enough, Ms. Sigler still wants him to come down to La Jolla. She even gets some great info out of him:Turtle’s real name is Sal. That kind of disclosure is tantamount to love, and who knows what will happen once the boys land back home after their mutually despondent flight.
After four seasons of the same old formula, it’s nice to see the normal order shaken up a little bit. Expectation seems to propel the whole episode: first, I waited for Vince to come through for Verner, or at least watch Verner get put in his place. Then, I waited for the Jamie-Lyn situation to burn Turtle like the worst case of jambalaya diarrhea. Well, I suppose that could still happen.
Fact is, it felt good to watch Vince get called out for his hackneyed performance. Either Adrien Grenier is a good enough actor to pretend he is a bad actor, or he really thought he was doing well. I sided with Verner throughout Vince’s performance, until he started crying and running to John Ellis. Now, they both just seem like prissy primadonnas.
By the end, Turtle was looking like a very normal, if not very lucky, normal guy who deserves more praise than we may have afforded him in the past. I applaud the writers for that, and I hope that the Jamie Lyn-Sigler story doesn’t immediately die like the Andrew Klein one.
And Drama still gets stuck with a few lines and another horrible cut-off shirt. Movies and sexy starlets can come and go, but just pray you don’t end up with a life of wifebeaters like Drama’s.