An 11-Year-Old Boy Recaps Last Night’s ‘Two and a Half Men’

Tuesday, September 20 by
Guest Columnist: My Nephew, Skyler Gumb 

Last night  my favorite show started again. It’s called Two and a Half Men, and I like it because it’s really funny and sometimes they have sex with hot ladies. Also, the maid is really mean to Charlie and it’s funny because she’s fat.

But last night Charlie didn’t come back to the show because he’s dead. His girlfriend said he got hit by a train and exploded like a balloon full of meat. But they didn’t show him get hit by the train, which is stupid cause it would have been hilarious to see him explode all over like meat. All they showed was his funeral, and then they spilled his ashes everywhere, and that was pretty funny too, but not as funny as an explosion of meat.

Later on after the funeral, a new guy came to live with Alan and Jake named Walden. Walden is the guy from those camera commercials. My dad says Walden used to be on a show that was kind of funny, but now he’s an idiot for marrying an old lady. My dad got really mad when he sad it, and kept saying bad words and how stupid Walden is for marrying the old lady cause now she’s really old, and Walden’s stuck with her when he could be with any other girl he wanted because he’s rich. Then dad said “turn this shit off” and threw a beer bottle against the wall, so I went to watch the rest of the show in the basement.

I didn’t like Walden, because I miss Charlie, but then Walden had sex with two pretty ladies at the same time. It was really cool and funny, and Alan was all like “Whaaaaat?” and Jake was like “Awesome!” I don’t think Walden is that bad, but Charlie was better. Also, Walden is really rich for some reason , and he’s sleeping in Charlie’s room now.

I can’t wait for next week’s episode, because the preview showed this girl with really big boobs, and Walden was looking at her, and then he got embarrassed from looking at the boobs and fell down and I laughed really hard. Two and a Half Men is my favorite show.

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