30 Rock Recap: The Ones

Thursday, April 23 by

The show opens with Liz Lemon and Jack and at a jewelry store where Jack informs Liz that he is buying Elisa an engagement ring. Liz is surprised but Jack informs her that Elisa is ‘The One’. Pulling a classic Lemon, Liz then drops the ring down a heating vent.

It then cuts to the TGS crew standing around with Kenneth explaining to them that they cannot bring in a box of donuts because of the risk of food allergies, including his own severe allergy to strawberries. It turns out that the box of donuts was actually just a prank to scare Lutz, who ends up falling back into a TV monitor and hurting himself.

As Liz enters her office she finds Elisa who unknown to Jack, has actually been back in town for three weeks. Elisa tells Liz that she has a terrible secret and cannot marry Jack. She asks Lemon to break the news to Jack, gives her a pretty unnecessary but awesome kiss goodbye, and is gone.

In the TGS studio halls, the paramedics have arrived to take care of Lutz’s head injury from the falling monitor. Jenna is delighted to learn that one of the EMT’s is not only a fan of hers, but is also straight – a rare quality in her male fans. Though he leaves, Jenna is determined to find him again and realizes that if she hurts another member of the staff, the paramedics will have to return.

Liz enters Jack’s office, looking pretty awkward and uncomfortable because she is about to inform Jack that Elisa has left. Right before she does, however, Elisa comes running in and expresses her love for Jack.

It then cuts to show Jenna’s next victim – Kenneth – who she has poisoned with strawberries that she knows he is allergic to. Unfortunately, her plan is foiled because the hot EMT did not come back.

Jack’s office cleaning lady hears them talking about Elisa and exclaims that she is the Black Widow!! Elisa enters the room, wearing a great Battlestar Galactica shirt, and explains that she only got the name because she killed her former husband because he cheated on her, but really, it was a one time deal. Jack still loves her and wants to marry her, who wouldn’t? Later though, Jack begins to get nervous that he will be tempted to cheat and become Elisa’s next victim. He decides to find the one man who can test his temptation, Tracy Jordan. Tracy takes Jacky-D to a club with lots of ladies where Jack becomes very nervous that he will cheat. Tracy than admits to him that he’s never actually cheated on his wife, inspiring Jack to take the plunge with Elisa.

Meanwhile in the studio, Kenneth is lying on a stretcher while two more (not hot) EMT’s explain that the poisoning is bad this time and they will have to cut off his limbs. Jenna feels terrible. Luckily, Kenneth then sits up and we find out it was just a prank by the Prank Guys (Frank, Topher and Pete) in their flashy feathered fedoras. Jenna apologizes to Kenneth, explaining that she just wanted to find her true love, or just someone to jump her. Being the kind and dumb soul that Kenneth is, he eats strawberries so that Jenna’s EMT will come.

After Jack’s hopeful realization he goes to Liz’s apartment to tell her. Then Elisa walks in, who has been following Jack all night. Jack calms down Elisa, who gets Liz to leave by asking her doesn’t she have a Slanket (think snuggie) to be farting in, and the two are alone to talk. They realize that with Elisa’s crazy jealousy, the relationship will never work but leave on good terms.

Recap Olivia Spear

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