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New Zealand Apologizes To Anna Faris, Will Faris Apologize For ‘Yogi Bear?’
Tuesday, January 25 by

Faris got harassed on the New Zealand set of ‘Yogi Bear,’ and the country said some things it later regretted.

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NBC Tired Of Making Bad Decisions, Wants McG To Direct ‘Wonder Woman’
Tuesday, January 25 by

TV vet McG is the frontrunner to helm the the pilot episode of the David E. Kelley-produced reboot.

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Tila Tequila To Class Up ‘$#*! My Dad Says’
Tuesday, January 25 by

Bust out your jars of Mentholatum ’cause I’m about to shorten your breath. Everyone’s favorite Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila, will be appearing on this week’s episode of “$#*! My Dad Says.”

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9 Replacement Sponsors For MTV’s ‘Skins’
Tuesday, January 25 by

MTV won’t miss the sponsors who have dropped. Why? Because there are dozens more just waiting to cash in on the sweet, sweet scent of underage ass. With that in mind, here are nine replacement sponsors for MTV’s “Skins.”

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Apparently, Reality TV Hasn’t Been Cruel Enough To Kelsey Grammer
Tuesday, January 25 by

Grammer has ushered in a new era for which he will be remembered for many poorly-hatched reality television shows.

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‘Dexter In 60 Seconds’ Saves You A LOT Of Time
Tuesday, January 25 by

Why slog through five seasons of ‘Dexter’ when you can get the gist in the same time it takes to make rice in the microwave?

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Chloe Moretz To Kick Ass All Over ’30 Rock’
Tuesday, January 25 by

Chloe Moretz has been tweeting up a storm lately, most recently to say that she’s in New York. Why, New York, you ask? To shoot an episode of NBC’s “30 Rock!”

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Apocalypse Warning: ‘Jersey Shore’ Season 4 Is Coming
Tuesday, January 25 by

Jersey Shore is going to have a fourth season, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it except hunker down and brace for impact.

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Links Away: Seinfeld Plots World Domination
Monday, January 24 by

I always assumed Jerry was too apathetic to make a play for global supremacy, but in the right light he could almost pass for a halfway-decent James Bond villain.

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Jay Leno To Receive Humor Award. Everything You Know Is Wrong.
Monday, January 24 by

Members of Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Club have bestowed their annual Man of the Year award to walking lowest common denominator Jay Leno.

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‘Skins’ Too Sexy For Sandwiches, Tacos, Gum, And Cars
Monday, January 24 by

Due to pressure from the Parents’ Television Association, Subway is the most recent advertiser to pull out of the racy MTV show ‘Skins’. Pun very much intended.

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Christine Woods
Monday, January 24 by

You might recognize Christine Woods as that chick from “Flash Forward” who really, really wanted to have a baby. Or did she?

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Wonder Woman Lands Her Ridiculous Invisible Plane At NBC
Friday, January 21 by

There’s a lot of lame elements to Wonder Woman, and if anyone knows about lame superhero shows, it’s NBC.

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MSNBC Pulls The Smug Plug On Keith Olbermann’s ‘Countdown’
Friday, January 21 by

Now it’ll be easier than ever to ignore the pompous commentator’s rant videos, because his show has been officially cancelled.

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Take That, NBC! CBS Greenlights Conan Pilot, ‘Vince Uncensored’
Friday, January 21 by

The next facet of Conan O’Briens slow, mafia-like revenge on NBC has gone into effect.

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Lisa Edelstein Dishes On ‘House’ Romance
Friday, January 21 by

Cuddy offers up her thoughts on dating a smart-ass misanthropic doctor with a bum leg.

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Valerie Cruz
Friday, January 21 by

Before she signed up to play a do-good doctor without borders in “Off the Map,” Valerie Cruz spent some time on the opposite end of the medical spectrum.

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Antoine Dodson Extends Already Inexplicable Career
Friday, January 21 by

Antoine Dodson, of ‘Bed Intruder’ fame(?), is the subject of a new reality TV show. Hide your networks, hide your ratings, cuz they makin’ pilots out of everrrrrrrything up in here.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: New ‘Snore’-leans
Thursday, January 20 by

While the season premiere of “American Idol” was disappointing, the second episode (New Orleans) started out strong. By “strong,” I mean it began with a gay dude named Blake Patterson playing the piano and sobbing uncontrollably.

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Links Away: Girl is Addicted to Eating Couch Cushions. Wait, What?
Thursday, January 20 by

Yeah so there’s this girl who eats couch cushions. As in she rips them up, puts the pieces in her mouth, chews, and swallows.

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‘Community’ Invites In Malcolm Jamal Warner And Levar Burton
Thursday, January 20 by

The cast offers up some juicy spoilers on the D&D episode and Shirley’s ex-husband.

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Liam Neeson Loves Money, Part 348
Thursday, January 20 by

Never one to turn down a role, the star of every other movie has returned to the Star Wars universe.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: The New Jersey Auditions
Thursday, January 20 by

I hate “American Idol.” But, I made one innocent comment about the size of my editor’s wife’s ass, and now I’m stuck on recap duty.

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Suzanne Sena
Thursday, January 20 by

When Suzanne Sena appears on the first episode of “Onion News Network” tomorrow evening, she’ll be playing a delicately-crafted caricature of herself.

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NBC Executive Of Douchebaggery Fired For Having $200K Bathroom
Wednesday, January 19 by

We want to congratulate ex-NBC Chairman Jeff Gaspin for having gigantic balls, which apparently needed a very fancy washroom to be occasionally exposed in throughout the day.

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Olivia Munn Is Single, Loves Her Fans. You Do The Math.
Wednesday, January 19 by

She’s also anti-social, so if you’re a smooth talker, you’re golden.

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Ricky Gervais Will Visit ‘The Office’
Wednesday, January 19 by

Now he’s fixing to offend Judd Apatow’s friends one by one.

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Lego Conan
Wednesday, January 19 by

That’s a lot of time to spend on a talk show host.

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Sarah Shahi
Wednesday, January 19 by

After a brief career as a beauty queen, a stint as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, and a handful of appearances on Maxim’s Hot 100 list, it’s a good bet that Sarah Shahi is perfectly aware of her gauge-busting hotness level.

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What Will Happen On ‘American Idol’ Tonight
Wednesday, January 19 by

If I’m going to be forced to watch, I might as well make some predictions. If any of them come true, I’ll look like a genius. If not, no one will give a damn. So here’s my timeline of what you’ll see during tonight’s broadcast.