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True Blood: “The First Taste” Has Blood And Sex
Monday, September 15 by

It’s Louisiana, so everybody has to have a problem. If you’re black you’re also gay. If you work in a Walmart you have a rapier wit and are too smart for your surroundings. If you’re captain of the football team, you’re also a sex addict with a penchant for rough rolls in the swamp. If you’re a trailer park blonde, you’re also telepathic.

The Simpsons Take On Peanuts, Transformers for Treehouse of Horror
Monday, September 15 by

You've all laughed hysterically at the Peanuts vs. Goodfellas mash-up, but according to an interview with executive producer, Al Jean, this year's Simpsons Halloween show will poke fun at The Great Pumpkin as well as the Transformers.

Mad Men: “A Night To Remember” Toasts Heineken
Monday, September 15 by

Marriage is like much like the Cold War. I know, I’m married, and I bought a genuine piece of the former Berlin Wall, fashioned into a key chain, at a gas station in Calais when I was on a French exchange program in high school.

Entourage: “Unlike a Virgin” Sees the Return of Justine
Monday, September 15 by

Recap: Season 5, Episode 2. The Entourage world has been turned upside-down. Drama is still famous and Vince is actually working hard for the first time in his career, only to find out that no one is interested in his services.

Jason Bateman’s New Show Really Sucks
Thursday, September 11 by

I remember in English class how they use to tell us that we had to get through at least a few chapters of a book before we were allowed to decide that it was not worth reading. I made it exactly 4 minutes into Fox’s Do Not Disturb before hurling my TV at a Hurricane Orphan.

Sons of Anarchy: “Seeds” Has Dead Hookers
Thursday, September 11 by

Recap: Season 2, Episode 1 The boys from SAMCRO explore the possible downside to getting a BJ from two mexican hookers who accidentally get cooked by an exploding gun warehouse.

Mythbusters Blow Up A Shark and Tear Up Some Phonebooks
Thursday, September 11 by

Season 7, Episode 4: "Phonebook Friction" With seven seasons under their tool belts, the Mythbusters don't have it as easy as they used to. This week Jamie and Adam test to see if two phone books, attached by simply intertwining the pages, can be impossible to pull apart. The other team try to re-enact the final scene from Deep Blue Sea.

Bonus Features: Hump Day Link Dump
Wednesday, September 10 by

It's Wednesday, and you know what that means. We're only two days away from the release of the new Meg Ryan chick flick, The Women! I would rather star in a remake of 2 girls, 1 cup than watch that. Even if I was playing the cup. Here are some links to help get that image out of your head. Not the 2 girls, 1 cup images, I know you're fine with those, but the Meg Ryan images. Yikes.

Fringe: “Pilot” Is Chock Full of WTF
Wednesday, September 10 by

Episode 1 Nerds, geeks and other people who liked The X-Files have been eagerly anticipating Fringe's debut for months, but now that we have all seen the premiere, it seems like we have a hit on our hands. I'm excited for the rest of the season, but remind me never to get on a plane with J. J. Abrams. Dude has some serious issues with air travel.

Recap: Weeds: Episode 4.12
Monday, September 8 by

Episode: "Till We Meet Again." The finale is coming up like a random drug test on a supermarket employee and there's still quite a bit to be resolved. But now, the tunnel is gone and the shit is about to hit the fan. And this is Mexican shit. Anyone who has ever spent a weekend in a Tijuana bathroom knows that's no joke.

Bonus Features: Monday Link Brigade
Monday, September 8 by

This weekend was one of the worst weekends in box office history, which could mean one of several things. Either you're all:A) Too busy leading glorious lives and enjoying every moment to its fullest.B) Too broke because you spent all of your money on Dark Knight tickets and gas.C) Acutally, it was probably B so there will be no more choices.

Recap: Mad Men Ep 2.07
Monday, September 8 by

How do you tell the world you've arrived in 1960? Pretty much the same way you tell the world you've arrived today: buy a Cadillac.

Recap: True Blood: Episode 1.01
Monday, September 8 by

With the bad taste of The Lost Boys: The Tribe still souring me a little on vampires, I didn't go into HBO's new blood-sucking series with high hopes. But, despite some really bad accents and Anna Paquin's jacked up teeth, True Blood doesn't suck….yet. Plot

Recap: Entourage: Episode 5.01
Sunday, September 7 by

Last time was saw the guys, Medellin had just bombed at the Cannes and sold for the bargain price of one dollar. Now it's time to find out if E and Vince can bounce back from such an epic failure. But first, let's watch Ari yell and hot girls get topless.

MTV’s VMAs Have Now Officially Sucked for 25 Years
Sunday, September 7 by

Want to watch a three hour long inside joke between annoying celebrities and 14 year old girls? Neither did I, but I have a duty and if that means having to watch Russell Brand bomb for longer than any comedian in history, then so be it. Russell who?

MTV’s Buzzin’ Amber Alert
Friday, September 5 by

I’ve been writing recaps of the show Buzzin’ for the past month. Then one week it just didn’t show up on The MTV. The last episode that aired didn’t seem like any sort of finale. I called the Hollywood police to file a missing show report, but they didn’t seem to understand what I meant.

Recap: Mythbusters: Episode 7.03
Thursday, September 4 by

Episode: "Viral Videos." Everyone made a big deal about it when they tested the Diet Coke and Mentos myth, so I guess it only makes sense that they would devote a whole episode to wacky internet videos. I've posted the original clips of the videos they tested below, just in case you're a total n00b. The car lifted by firehoses:

Recap: Sons of Anarchy: Episode 1.01
Thursday, September 4 by

With The Shield about ready to start spending its pension checks, FX needed something to step in and provide us with our fix of violence and bad language. Judging by the first episode, it seems like Sons of Anarchy should fill that spot nicely. What happens:

New 90210 Is Just Plain Horrible
Wednesday, September 3 by

Wow, the new 90210 is really bad. I mean REALLY bad. It does one of the things that bothers me the most about bad ‘funny’ writing:  it makes the assumption that a bunch of little jokes are going to add up to make something that’s funny as a whole. Furthermore, everything they do is borrowed from another show. You just can’t pick and chose from other titles and end up with a good product.

Recap: The Shield Season 7 Premiere
Tuesday, September 2 by

We're almost at the end of the road for The Shield and I would be lying if I said it didn't make me just a little sad. For the past six seasons, this show has been giving us all the bad language and graphic violence we could ever expect to get from basic cable. It has been an awesome journey, but it looks like it's going to go out the way it came in: Kicking ass all over the place.

Recap: Mad Men: Episode 2.06
Tuesday, September 2 by

Episode: “Maidenform.” Glorious summer has come to Sterling Cooper, and what better time to focus on women’s underwear? Playtex want a new campaign to compete with the racy imaginations of their rival Maidenform (virgins with racy imaginations, oh my!).

Mad Men: Ep. 206
Thursday, August 28 by
Recap: Mythbusters: Episode 7.02 NASA Moon Landing
Thursday, August 28 by

Episode: "Nasa Moon Landing." I try to get into fist fights with conspiracy theorists as often as possible. They're usually fat guys or 15 year olds with studded leather jackets so I win pretty easily. But, the Mytbusters are taking a more tactful approach, opting to prove the cellar dwellers wrong with nerdy scientific experiments.

Recap: Man Vs. Wild: Episode 5.02
Thursday, August 28 by

Episode: "The Deep South." The south is a dangerous enough place, what with all of the cholesterol-laden foods and NASCARs whipping around all over the place, but Bear dropped himself in the middle of what he calls "Katrina Country" to bite the heads off of some snakes and piss off some alligators. The terrain:

Recap: Weeds: Episode 4.11
Tuesday, August 26 by

Episode: "Head Cheese". After last week's big happenings, things slowed down for this episode, probably so they can get everyone into position for the last two episodes of the season. It looks like some shit is about to go down. Nancy:

6 Reasons We Should All Be Glad the Olympics Are Over
Monday, August 25 by

With last night's closing ceremonies, the 2008 Beijing Olympics closed out one of the highest rated TV events in the history of the idiot box. We're all guilty of watching at least some of it, but now it's time to get back to business as usual. That business, of course, is not giving a crap about anything even remotely Olympics related.

Mad Men: Ep 2.05
Monday, August 25 by

Episode 5, “The New Girl” starts off with Pete Campbell and his wife at the doctor. The doc is smoking a cigarette and discussing fertility issues with the couple, who are having some trouble with making a baby.

Recap: Generation Kill: Episode 1.07
Monday, August 25 by

Episode: "A Bomb in the Garden." I'm a little sad that our time with recon is over, even if the last episode didn't exactly hit me with a mortar shell of awesomeness. What happened?

The Life & Times of Tim
Thursday, August 21 by

Not a lot of info yet…Airs Sept 28th, 2008 @11pm on HBO

The Simpsons
Thursday, August 21 by

The Simpsons has been churning out funny episodes since before some of you were born. Sure, it has had its ups and downs, but, ultimately, no show has turned out more laughs. Some of us have spent more time with this four-fingered, yellow family than we have with our own families and that's not necessarily a bad thing.