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Breaking Bad Recap: Down
Monday, March 30 by

Another week gone by, another meth addled story of lies and close scrapes for our two favorite kingpins. “Hey Captain America”, says a bum to Jesse as he is walking into a convenience store to meet up with Walt. Walt and Jesse decide they are going to have to put cooking on hold for a little bit while Walt’s family gets less suspicious. So Walt tries to be sweet and get on Skyler’s good side. He cooks them breakfast but Skyler is skeptical, as usual.  Next, Walter reps Boz Skaggs as one of the best musicians of all time, maybe he’s been getting high on his own supply. While cleaning up, Walt attempts to cover up the his second cell phone. Skyler, though, is unimpressed and storms out to Walt’s dismay. Meanwhile Jesse’s parents have wised up to his drug trafficking ways. So they decide to evict him from his house which they have the property rights to. Jesse’s got 72 hours to get out. 

FNL Recap: A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall
Monday, March 30 by

Panthers are going to State in ’08! What a magical week it was in Dillon, Texas, for fans of the Blue and Yellow. Emotions ran high because of twists around every bend. Grandma Saracen took a spill out of her car as she was backing out of the driveway and it became clear no amount of personal supervision would protect her from herself. The Garrity family finally broke down after hanging by a thread for so long, and it may or may not recover. That wasn’t the only thing on Buddy’s plate, as the boosters had to contend with a redistricting plan that might dismantle the powerhouse football team in the name of a better education for the children. Landry and the Collettes finally made amends, and it seemed as though the seeds for a Landry-Tyra reunion tour were planted. JD and his father, Joe, went through their growing pains, as JD came into his own and started making decisions for himself. This week was a return to form for Friday Night Lights as a TV show and for the Panthers as a football team, as they survived to fight another day.

Terminator: TSCC Recap: To the Lighthouse
Monday, March 30 by

With the deaths of loved ones behind them, the Connor crew split up.  Sarah and John take refuge with an old friend, while Derek and Cameron take a moment away from each other’s throats and point their guns in the same direction.   Del Monte Sarah packs some bags and thinks back to when John was a child.  His favorite stories were his mother’s jungle stories, particularly the tale of El Viejo Del Monte: Old Man of the Forest.  Del Monte was a hunter condemned to the jungle for all eternity.  As his story goes he would kill every animal he encountered but not to feed on their meat, or warm himself with their furs.  Instead, he would leave his prey to rot.  His lust for blood was his mark, and each carcass he left behind was a lesson to those who crosses it explaining what God had turned Del Monte into: half man, half animal.  Some considered him a protector for he preyed upon predators.  It was his curse to be vigilant forever.  

Padma Lakshmi Has Dry Sex With Hardee’s Cheesburger
Friday, March 27 by

Padma Lakshmi, she of TV's Top Chef and Salman Rusdie-marrying fame, has apparently become the spokesmodel for Hardee's Bacon Western Thickburger, which is going to make a lot of men happy and a lot of normal women hate themselves more than they already do.  In her new commercial, Padma sits on the stoop of an NYC brownstone and proceeds to eat the beefy burger in ways that would make a a devout Hindu eunuch sport wood. See the full commercial – and more pics of Padma – after the jump.  And if you're a normal woman hating yourself right now, don't feel too bad.  I'm sure Padma had her seven personal trainers with spit buckets standing just off-camera for the entire shoot.

High Flyin’ Weekend TV Preview
Friday, March 27 by

Even though there's a hole in our hearts that BSG used to fill, there's plenty of excellent TV packing your weekend schedule with a wdie array of entertainment ranging from Jackass inspired hillbillies to a 'King Baby.' New episodes of Friday Night Lights, Terminator:TSCC, and Breaking Bad are on their regular schedule, with the series premiere of the Thrillbillies and some stand-up hilarity from Mr. Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central. So quit moping about the end of Battlestar and go get obsessed with any or all these termendous shows! Your preview after the break.

30 Rock Recap: Apollo, Apollo
Friday, March 27 by

This episode begins with Liz unpacking her new running shoes. Jack calls Liz and tells her she is yet to RSVP to his 50th birthday party. Meanwhile, on television, Tracy is announcing to the world that it is his dream to go into space. He will finance the trip if anyone is willing to shoot him into space. Liz has to deal with this, pronto. Dennis Duffy suddenly bursts into Liz’s apartment and tells her that he is going through a 12 step program. He is a recovering sex addict. He is at step nine, the step where he needs to apologize to everybody he has wronged. Side note: For all you Seinfeld fans, you know step nine. Dennis apologizes to Liz for sleeping with her, thus subjecting her to his web of treachery. Liz doesn’t care, she just wants Dennis out of the room. Liz asks Jack if he knows about Tracy trying to get into space. Jack says he has a google alert for everything titled “Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster”. They have to stop him.

Managerial Immunity
Friday, March 27 by

Since Michael's turned in his two weeks he can basically do anything he wants, so he he spends his days drinking scotch and splenda and wandering arund the office bugging everyone. He also comes up with an idea for a new business once he actually quits, and goes around the office trying to find investors for it. Meanwhile, Kelly and Angela are still obsessed with Charles, and Pam has to figure out how to make the new copier work, all after the jump

Thursday TV Preview
Thursday, March 26 by

Well, whether you like it or not, the Osbournes are back…with a variety show on FOX. Pretty random, and dare I say unecessary? Check out the the fam tonight as they guest on Jimmy Kimmel. Other than that, it's another solid Thursday night of comedy with The Office and 30 Rock. Your preview after the break.

Spiritual Economic Crisis
Thursday, March 26 by

South Park is getting by the economic crisis just like the rest of the country, only in South Park Randy Marsh rises up as a prophet warning people that they have angered the economy. Stan has to find a way to return the frivolous Margaritaville machine his dad bought, and Kyle starts trouble by breaching the economy is not a dangerous entity to be feared. It's another great South Park this season, and it's right after the jump

Lost Recap: Natural Born Killer
Thursday, March 26 by

In a Sayid-centric episode, we learn more of the details behind how exactly he got on that flight and why exactly he stopped working for Ben. He also befriends a young Ben Linus in 1977, and Juliette, Kate, and Sawyer experience a little bit of awkwardness over the whole love triangle. (Or love square if you count Jack). It's another pretty good Lost, right after the jump.

Scrubs Recap: Their Story II
Thursday, March 26 by

J.D. rides a high horse and the new interns get an idea of what it means to work at Sacred Heart.

Wednesday TV Preview
Wednesday, March 25 by

Tonight's another wizzbang night of Wednesday TV. J.D. finally gets props from Dr. Cox on Scrubs, somebody on the island goes rogue, South Park comments on the financial crisis, and Demetri Martin concludes the first season of his show. Your preview after the break.

South Park’s 13 Most Twisted Kenny Kills
Wednesday, March 25 by

One of the most timeless TV characters has to be the little boy in the orange hooded sweatshirt Kenny McCormick, constantly beset by death in any number of ways, whether it be a bitten off-head, sliced in half, or a dreaded STD. And through it all, Parker and Stone have constantly innovated the way this unfortunate youngster kicks the bucket, never once letting the joke become stale or boring or predictable.  They structured a movie plot around him, actually killed him for an entire season, then let at least one full season pass by without his death.  Nowadays you always look forward to a Kenny death, and it’s in honor of this immortal/mortal little boy that Screen Junkies presents to you the most inventive Kenny deaths of all time. 

Tuesday Night TV Preview
Tuesday, March 24 by

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine mentioning Barack Obama and Limp Bizkit in the same breath, (Try saying Limp Obama Bizkits and tell me it's not fun) but here we are. Pres. Obama is giving another channel hogging Press Conference about toxicity and assets and such. But switch it over to Snoop, he's got the guys from 'Bizkit' talking about their long awaited reunion tour. More nookie after the break.

24 Recap: 10pm-11pm
Monday, March 23 by

The cops are at Senator Blaine Mayer's house collecting evidence, but Moss doesn't need any evidence, he concludes that Bauer's the culprit. He calls up Ethan Kanin. "It's Sentor Mayer, he's dead.""What?!?!" Kanin replies. Kanin, flabbergasted at what has happened hangs up the phone and slumps in his chair.President Taylor calls up her husband, who is awake and seemingly doing alright. She tells him that Juma and Dubaku are dead, that everything's over, and that Olivia has joined the staff. The first man is relieved. They hang up.Kanin walks in. "He's expected to make a full recover! Maybe, just maybe this day will end on a positive note," says President Taylor.Yeah right.Kanin tells the President that Senator Mayer has been apparently slain by Bauer. President Taylor can't believe it. Then Kanin says that he has to step down because he couldn't do enough to protect the President from the shitstorm that happened only a few hours ago."I'm a liability to you now…don't let me sink your agenda.""OUR agenda, Ethan…"

Heroes Recap: Baby Sitters and Hero Killers
Monday, March 23 by

Danko receives a little present from an anonymous donor, the gift being Eric Doyle the puppet master, and Rebel is up to some more antics as his identity is revealed and Tracy has to make a choice on whether she will betray Rebel or not. Parkman has to find a way to save Daphne, and Hiro and Ando discover that baby Matt has powers. Claire is blessedly absent this episode, and we get some juicy screentime from a neglected character: Angela Petrelli. It’s a thrilling return to form for Heroes, and it’s right after the jump.

Battlestar Who? Clips From Caprica Hit the NET
Monday, March 23 by

Well, Battlestar Galactica is over and done with (read Jim Connelly's tear-jerking eulogy here), but Universal and the newly re-branded Syfy Network have already begun bombarding us with shrapnel made in Caprica.  Here's one of the clips.  Check out the other six after the jump!

Colbert Beats Out Porn Star “Serenity” for Space Station Name
Monday, March 23 by

An Associated Press report unveiled but moments ago that TV's Stephen Colbert came in first in NASA's online contest to name a new room at the international space station.  The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.Of course, this is what happens when you let write-in votes count, especially when week after week, Colbert has proven that his viewers will do anything that he asks them to do, especially if it means getting something named after their idol.  [Colbert's 230,539 votes] clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes. Nearly 1.2 million votes were cast by the time the contest ended Friday. I think Serenity is a totally serviceable name, and I think the Wicked Pictures star whose name all the NASA computer geeks threw into the hat would agree.In fact, this whole thing makes me long for the days when NASA just named their spacecraft after porn stars.

Monday TV Preview
Monday, March 23 by

While House takes a breather after the glorious 'killer kitty' episode, 24 is right on point with Bauer on the run from the Feds after being framed for two murders and killing the real culprit, but you know he ain't getting deterred by nothing from finding Jon Voight's Bioweapon! Also, catch some biblical bloodshed on Battles BC, a show that reenacts some excellent warrings from our bloodthirsty ancestors. Another Regis 'I'm a Robot' Philbin somehow appears on 2 Late Night shows tonight as well. Your preview after the break.

Top 10 Recyclable TV Characters
Monday, March 23 by

The average successful TV show has four or five seasons, a total of 80-90 episodes.  At 20 minutes an episode, that’s at least 1600 minutes of entertainment.  And that's not including the really popular ones like The Simpsons (20 years) or ER (15 years).  That’s a lot of airtime to fill…  So, once execs discover a certain kind of show is popular, half a dozen clones will pop up… staple characters are born… then die… then get reincarnated.  The circle of life on Television. Some of these recyclable characters have been around for ages, while others have just made their debut in the last ten years or so.  (And many of the shows below fall into several categories, but for the sake of variety once a show has appeared in a category it won’t appear again.)  So without further ado, Screen Junkies presents… TV’s Top Ten Recyclable Characters.   10. The Drama Queen Doctor

Terminator TSCC: Today Is the Day Pt 2
Sunday, March 22 by

Jessie’s mission aboard the USS Jimmy Carter in the year 2027 is compromised, which may have severe consequences if John Connor can’t be warned.  As Jessie in the future comes to learn that perhaps there is more to this war than she knows, Jessie in the present is forced to deal with the consequences of killing Connor’s girlfriend. About The FutureJohn and Derek share a somber moment.  Riley is on both of their minds.Derek breaks the silence: “I’m sorry.  She didn’t deserve what happened.”John agrees but quickly changes the subject.  “How long could you survive with Cameron if she wanted to kill you?” John inquires.“What kind of weapon do I have?” Derek asks, humoring the boy.“Fists, elbows, fingernails, teeth…”“Those aren’t weapons.”“No.”“You know the answer to that, John.  If she wants you dead, you’re dead.”John nods because Derek is speaking the truth.  He tells Derek that he wants to talk to him about the future.

FNL Recap: The Giving Tree
Sunday, March 22 by

Bravo Coach Taylor. Our Panthers won the second playoff game after an eventful week in Dillon, Texas. Many relationship dynamics changed this week, as Julie and Matt were caught in bed together, JD McCoy was caught sneaking out, and Landry finally realized how one-sided his relationship with Tyra was. Lyla’s relationship with Buddy took a turn for the worse as well, after Buddy’s investment of her college fund went sour. It was a great episode of Friday Night Lights, answering some questions while posing a few of its own.

Breaking Bad Recap: Bit By a Dead Bee
Sunday, March 22 by

The promise of brief nudity comes to fruition before the opening credits even role when Walter is seen walking around naked in a grocery store. In shock and in the hospital, Walter’s family is relieved to find their cancer stricken patriarch. Walter then takes to lying, giving a bogus story about where he was and covering up his knowledge of Hank’s bloodletting of Tuco from Episode 2. Meanwhile Hank reveals to his superiors that he was busy searching for Walter when he ran into Tuco. This leads his superiors to question Walter and Jesse’s past as high school student and teacher. At Jesse’s house, Jesse and his friend Badger frantically clear out his entire crystal kitchen into the notorious Winnebago. And poof, Badger’s cousin tows away the notorious camper and Jesse thinks he is clean of that part of his life.

BSG Recap: Daybreak, Part 2
Sunday, March 22 by

I’ve got a theory, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is this: no TV show should ever go more than 5 or 6 seasons.   Even the greatest shows begin to lose something after that many seasons, and often start tarnishing what made them great in the first place.  Which is a roundabout way of saying that while Battlestar Galactica has turned out to be my current All-Time Favorite TV Show Ever, I’m still very glad that it’s leaving the airwaves.  I’d rather have 4.5 (or whatever) great seasons than 10 seasons, where the last five were shite.  So while I’m sad that Battlestar Galactica is ending, I’m also happy that they’re leaving while firing on all cylinders.  Of course, “firing on all cylinders,” is just my opinion.  Lotsa folks out there think that this Series Finale was either a misfire, or a case of firing on too many cylinders. I’ve got a theory for that, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is:  there are three main reasons that people think that a particular Series Finale sucks:

We’ll Miss You BSG Weekend TV Preview
Friday, March 20 by

While the series finale of Battlestar Galacica may not come with such a hullabaloo as did with the Seinfeld finale, ScreenJunkies can whole heartedly gurantee you it will be a 100x more satisfying send-off. Is BSG one of the best shows in TV history? So get all your nerdlinger buddies over and throw a big viewing party with Battlestar Bento and Battlestar Cocktails and get Battlestar Drunk. BE WARNED–If you have to record it on your DVR, remember that the finale is 2 HRS and 11 MINUTES LONG. All your other favorites on schedule too (FNL, T:TSCC, BB), but dammit, if you have to watch anything this weekend, make sure it's Battlestar. Your preview after the break.

30 Rock Recap: The Bubble
Friday, March 20 by

This newest episode of 30 Rock begins with Liz Lemon telling Kenneth she is ducking up town to have lunch with her boyfriend, Drew. Initially, Kenneth is confused; Liz Lemon doesn’t normally have many boyfriends. But yes, to Liz’s delight, she is still dating Drew. Tracy tells Kenneth he wants jerk chicken and pictures of pregnant women in their bikinis. Kenneth already has these items ready, he always knows what Tracy likes. Jack asks Liz how Tracy’s mood seemed. Jack is negotiating Tracy’s new contract and is a little nervous. Liz walks down the street with her boyfriend. Everyone they pass compliments Drew, including Calvin Klein, who wants Drew to be the next underwear model.

The Unmanageable Manager
Friday, March 20 by

The new boss for the northeastern branches, successor to Jan and Ryan, comes into the office so Michael can introduce him to his branch to get to know it better, while Jim has to suffer because he wore a tux to work that day to mess with Dwight for being strict about the dress code.  The new boss is none too lenient, though, and starts cracking down on office spending while several office women eye his good looks.  Michael doesn’t like the new boss too much, and pesters David about him.  It’s the shot in the arm this Office season needs, and it’s right after the jump.

Thursday TV Preview
Thursday, March 19 by

The Office and 30 Rock continue to churn some laughs out of you for yet another edition of 'Must See Thursday.' Michael gets some stiff competition from the new Vice President of Dunder Miff, and Drew makes another appearance on 30 Rock while Jack fights for Tracy to stay on with TGS. Not to be outdone is Pres. Obama, who makes an appearance on Jay Leno tonight with Garth Brooks on as the musical guest. Your preview after the break.

My Nah Nah Nah
Thursday, March 19 by

Sacred Heart's couples experience a few hiccups, while Turk takes a risk by performing a controversial procedure on a patient whose father is desperate. Back In The Ring Dr. Cox's family visits him at the hospital where Jordan is enjoying the perks of Cox's new position.  She happily claims that she has fired two cafeteria employees on the grounds that their accents were unbearable, confirming- once again- that she is a horrible person.  She sits at the table with Jack, who is carrying a stack of pancakes taller than he is.  When Cox asks why Jack isn't in school, Jordan explains that kids don't have school on Yom Kippur.  Cox points out that Yom Kippur was six months ago, and Jordan is made to realize that she's been outsmarted by her five-year-old son.  "I hate school!" Jack claims victoriously, throwing his arms in the air like Rocky.

Wednesday TV Preview
Wednesday, March 18 by

Last night, TV took a little hiatus to toss back some car bombs and chill with his leprechaun buddies. But tonight, la Televisión is back on the wagon and on point with a tremendously enjoyable night of plane crashes, 'ScrubsCenter', Mysterio, and an explanation of coolness. A surplus of video, some solid Late Night bands 'n babes, and your Wednesday lineup after the jump.