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Best Reality Shows for Summer ’09
Wednesday, May 27 by

 By Len SnodgrassLen Snodgrass here.  When I recently informed ScreenJunkies that my love of television rivals my love of MMORPGs they requested I generate a commentary on this summer’s upcoming reality program offerings.  I weighed the toll this assignment would take on my actual viewing of television, and ultimately decided the minimal rate I’d be receiving for my contribution would suffice to fund my Xbox Live subscription.  I dove right in to my research and emerged with ten unscripted shows that should keep your interest through the summer season.  Some of them are on simultaneously, so be sure to get your DVRs properly configured. 

SOUTHLAND RECAP: “DERAILED”
Tuesday, May 26 by

A dead gangster in a discarded chest is the result of several failed attempts on a witness’s life.  Dewey flips his lid… and a squad car.  Adams holds down the fort while witness- seeking bullets rain through her windows. "Derailed"The cops find a large chest on a hill overlooking LA.  Inside the chest is a body with tattoos all over it.  The discovery is sure to derail any holiday plans the cops had…  

SOUTHLAND RECAP: “DERAILED”
Tuesday, May 26 by

A dead gangster in a discarded chest is the result of several failed attempts on a witness’s life.  Dewey flips his lid… and a squad car.  Adams holds down the fort while witness- seeking bullets rain through her windows. "Derailed"The cops find a large chest on a hill overlooking LA.  Inside the chest is a body with tattoos all over it.  The discovery is sure to derail any holiday plans the cops had…

Michael Ian Black Farts Like a Butterfly, Stings Like the Sharp Comickster He Is
Sunday, May 24 by

This clip has been farting around on for a little while now, but we thought we'd share it with you on this Memorial Day weekend, because for us, Memorial Day is not only about remembering our troops; it's also about commiting great flatulence scenes to memory.  This is one of those scenes. It's a clip from "Michael and Michael Have Issues," a new half-hour comedy series that airs in July, appropriately enough, on Comedy Central. The show stars Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, who most recently worked on Comedy Central's (sadly) short-lived "Stella" series alongside fellow ex-"The State" member David Wain, who's now off directing important "issue" films for big Hollywood studios, like Role Models.  As much as we're fans of Mr. Wain, we think Michael and Michael will be just fine without the f&*king turncoat.

MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
Sunday, May 24 by

Cast: Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black, Other SAG and SAG-eligible Actors (But who cares, really?)Synopsis: "Probably going to be the best show on Comedy Central since that episode of 'Crank Yankers' where the puppets started humping the clock radio." – Michael Ian BlackNetwork: Read above, Sir Skims-a-Lot

‘Family Guy’ Creator Seth McFarlane in ABC’S ‘Flash Forward’ With Joseph Fiennes?
Tuesday, May 19 by

This Fall, ABC will premiere its hour-long drama, "Flash Forward," which stars Joseph Fiennes and chronicles the aftermath of a global event in which everyone in the world blacks out for 2 minutes, 17 seconds, and then has mysterious visions of six months… into the future. After the jump, watch this über-expository clip that pretty much explains the entire show, and then tell us at "Family Guy" creator (and voice of pretty much all the male characters) Seth MacFarlane isn't in this scene.  The king of TV show flashbacks in a show about flash fowards?  TNT may know drama.  But ABC knows irony.

MTV Movie Awards Promo With Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones
Tuesday, May 19 by

Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones in Best Villain – Watch more Movie Trailers
The MTV Movie Awards are back with another “For Your Consideration” short. This time, Andy Samberg goes for “Best Villain” in the decidedly non-villainous Gentle Dismemberment. While the wooing of Rashida Jones with a wicker basket of puppies does not scream “evil genius,” his dastardly top hat and twirly mustache sure as hell makes him look the part. 

Fox Fall 2009 TV Lineup Includes ‘Family Guy’ Spinoff ‘The Cleveland Show’
Monday, May 18 by

Fox is the first of the big networks to announce its 2009-2010 lineup.  There are some promising new comedies on the slate, starting with "The Cleveland Show," which follows the Griffins' neighbor as he and his son move in with Cleveland's old high school sweetheart and her kids in Virginia. Also includes is  "Glee," the new high school-based comedy from Ryan Murphy ("Nip/Tuck"), starring Jane Lynch (Role Models).  You can check out a preview of the show on Tuesday, May 19th @ 9PM ET/PT.  Promo for Glee on Fox – Watch more Movie TrailersAnd rounding out the comedies will be "Brothers," starring Darryl "Chill" Mitchell and… ex-New York Giant Michael Strahan!!!  It's about a former NFL star who returns to live with his family in his mother's house, so he can get his life back on track.  No word on whether or not Strahan will be portraying a quirkier, huskier Michael Vick.  Read the full press release – including the list of new and returning dramas, like the Jackie Earle Haley-starring "Human Target" and Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse" – after the jump.

SOUTHLAND RECAP: “WESTSIDE”
Friday, May 15 by

Re-cap:This episode begins in the same way that all Southland episodes to date have begun, which is to say that it begins in the middle of what’s going on.  Officer Sherman is lying in bed with his arm wrapped around a woman.  Our narrator cuts in to inform us that it is a violation of policy for an officer to get involved with a victim.  Sherman knows this, but does it anyway.  We learn quickly how the girl ended up being a victim, and gradually how she ended up in Sherman’s bed…

Dancing With the Stars’ Karina Smirnoff
Friday, May 15 by

                 Today's Dancing girl is Ukrainian Karina Smirnoff, who joined "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 3, and has… stayed on the show ever since. (If you've been following this series of galleries, you may have picked up on a trend.)  The closest Karina ever came to winning was in her inaugural season, during which she partnered with Greg Louganis impersonator Mario Lopez.   This season, she'd been cutting a rug with Apple founder Steve Wozniak, but was sadly eliminated  in the fourth round when she got lost in the rug that is Wozniak's beard. Pointless Quote: "I just kept smiling, but it hurt."Check out the photos of Karina after the jump, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Julianna Hough, Kym Johnson

Season Finale of ‘Lost’ Gets Parody
Thursday, May 14 by

LOST Parody #10 – Twilight, Season 2 Finale (S2, E5) – Watch Movie TrailersIf you couldn't get enough of the "Lost" season finale, and the mind-blowing cliffhanger didn't blow your mind all over your face, here's a new "Lost" parody video from the Fine Brothers, featuring time traveling action figures, magically materializing guns and even more magically materializing beards (plus cameos from action figures based on what seems like every single blockbuster film from the past few years). Watching this, I still can't get over how detailed the "Lost" action figures are.  As my grandfather would say, "The technology… they just can do anything these days."  Yes, grandpa, they can.  But can the wizards at Industrial Light and Magic run a lathe?Michel Gondry Close To A Grammy (FilmDrunk)He-Man Is A Perv (Manofest)Cliffhanger Resurrected (Pajiba)Aerin Is Spankin Hot (GorillaMask)This Congressmans Kid Won't Shut Up (IAmBored)The Six Flags Guys Sucks (Cracked)Disneys Re-Imagined Christmas Carol Poster (Filmofilia)Adorable Baby Pigs Listening to Amy Winehouse (SickPigs)The Very Best Of Kenny Powers (HolyTaco)The NFL's Cheerleader Stimulus Package (BustedCoverage)Louise Redknapp Is Hot And Classy (Uncoached)Crappy Nintento Drawings Are Hilarious (Unreality)Gilliams Don Quixote is Back (ThePlaylist)

Jim Jefferies in ‘I Swear to God’ on HBO
Thursday, May 14 by

Jim Jefferies – Studs n Sluts – Watch more Movie Trailers This saturday – May 16th, at 10pm/9c – HBO airs "I Swear to God," the new standup special from Aussie-born, British-trained and U.S.-touring comickster Jim Jefferies.  You may remember him from his last HBO performance on "Down + Dirty With Jim Norton," in which he describes his experience with penile tumors. Get more info on "I Swear to God" at HBO's official site, and check out some more clips from the show after the jump, including a rant about No Smoking signs and the last World Cup in Germany.  Oh, and we threw in the clip about penile tumors, too.  You're welcome, cancer comedy nerds.

Dancing With the Stars’ Julianne Hough
Thursday, May 14 by

Today's dancing girl is Julianne Hough, a Utah native who came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 4 and promptly won that season's competish with her partner, Olympian Apollo Anton Ono.  In Season 5, she partnered with Helio Castroneves and did the double, becoming the shows' only other back-to-back winner besides Cheryl Burke.  She's also a Country music recording artist with a Mormon background, which might explain why she's using the American flag to conceal herself from heathen eyes in the photo above.  Or she's just the sexiest patriot alive.  Move over, Tom Brady. Random Quote: "Oh I wish you could love yourself, the way that I do." – From her song, "Love Yourself" off her self-titled debut.CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS OF JULIANNE AFTER THE JUMP, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Kym Johnson, Karina Smirnoff

Dancing With the Stars’ Kym Johnson
Wednesday, May 13 by

Today's dancing girl is Kym Johnson, who came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 3, and has been with the show ever since.  The Aussie has never won, but has twice come in as first runner up with partners Joey Fatone and Warren "QBK" Sapp.  She was partnered this season with comedian David Alan Grier, whose Comedy Central show "Chocolate News" unfortunately had a shorter run than one of his and Kym's Paso Dobles.  Random Quote: "I'm not the least bit high-maintenance." Check out the photos of Kym after the jump, or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Cheryl Burke, Julianna Hough, Karina Smirnoff

Dancing With the Stars’ Cheryl Burke
Tuesday, May 12 by

Well, a ton of TV shows are about to cool it for the summer, but Screenjunkies wanted to heat things back up a little, so this week, we're honoring our favorite dancing girls from this season of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." Today's girl is Cheryl Burke, came to "Dancing with the Stars" in Season 2, and has never left, becoming the show's first two-time champ with partners Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith (in Seasons 2 and 3, respectively). Random Quote: "I want kids or women out there to realize you don't have to be anorexic to be beautiful. There's a lot of pressure living this Hollywood life."Let this be a lesson to everyone.  You don't have to have an eating disorder.  You just need to dance non-stop. Check out the photos Cheryl after the jump or these other Dancing with the Stars Chicks: Kym Johnson, Julianna Hough, Karina Smirnoff

MTV Movie Awards Promo With Anne Hathaway and Andy Samberg
Tuesday, May 12 by

Andy Samberg & Anne Hathaway MTV Promo – Watch more Movie TrailersBefore, there was "Slaughter Shack."  Now, the 2009 MTV Movie Awards proudly presents Andy Samberg and Anne Hathaway in the Hallmark Movie of the Week-like™ film "Evenings with Ms. Eloise." Anne Hathaway proves herself to be a comic equal to Samberg, but looks way hotter in drag here. Like I said before, I may hate everything about the actual awards ceremony, but damned if they don't make funny promos and intersitials to go with 'em.

‘Motherlover’ SNL Digital Short
Saturday, May 9 by

Happy Mother's Day from those SNL Dicks in a Box, Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake.  (Featuring Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson.)

SOUTHLAND RECAP: TWO GANGS
Friday, May 8 by

Detective Salinger’s gun is stolen by gang bangers and the detectives launch an off-record investigation to relocate the weapon.  Their search takes them a bit deeper than they had anticipated. Worst NightmareSalinger removes himself from the driver’s seat of a vehicle he’s managed to wrap around a pole.  All that remains of the hood is warped metal and smoke.  He crumbles to his knees and spits blood.  We learn that a cop’s most commonly recurring worst nightmare is one where they lose their gun.  For Sal, the nightmare has become a reality. Everybody’s Doing ItTammy sneaks a joint in the bathroom she and Detective Bryant share.  Sam is lying in bed, calling to his wife who won’t respond.  The dog is going ape-shit, clawing at the door.  Sam bursts in to find his wife getting high.  He tells her to flush it which she does, but not before reminding him that he used to love doing it, too. Cat Lady

PARKS AND RECREATION RECAP: THE BANQUET
Friday, May 8 by

Parks and Recreation: The BanquetLeslie begins the episode by regaling the camera crew with the tale of William Bixby Mark, who traded a baby to a tribe of Native Americans for what is now Indianapolis. She then goes on to say that these same Native Americans cut off Mark’s face and crafted a dream-catcher out of it, before making rain-sticks out of his legs. After she praises the resourcefulness of these Natives, who use “every part of the pioneer”) the credits roll, and we’re off!

SCRUBS RECAP: MY FINALE PT. 2
Thursday, May 7 by

In the Scrubs series finale tears are shed, laughs are shared, confessions are made, disputes are resolved, and hugs that should have been distributed years ago are finally given. Morning SexJ.D.’s finale begins in the same place his career with Sacred Heart began eight years ago.  He wakes this morning next to Elliot and thinks back to his first day and all the things that happened then.  He remembers hiding with Elliot in the supplies closet, Kelso’s first unkind words to him, and the time Janitor accused him of sticking a penny in the door, sealing it shut.  J.D. tries to use the fact that it’s his last d ay to score some morning sex, but Elliot isn’t having it.  She tells him that she moved her bed into his apartment, and J.D. realizes that she’s been “sneak-moving” into his new place.  Eventually, J.D. gets his morning sex. Bitter Roast

SCRUBS RECAP: MY FINALE PT. 1
Wednesday, May 6 by

J.D. moves out to be closer to Sam and also decides to leave Sacred Heart.  Ted and Guch move in together and Elliot takes the fall for Denise’s blunder. RelocationJ.D.’s plans to relocate are set in motion and in a short period of time he has moved into and furnished an apartment, 37 minutes away from Sacred Heart.  Turk is proudly displaying his new Chief of Surgery badge when Denise and Derek emerge from the resting room.  Turk and Derek walk off while Carla and Elliot congratulate Denise for the fish she caught.  Elliot confesses that she’s fantasized about J.D. attacking her and Derek and then having both men pleasure her.  Her fantasy ends with her g etting hold of J.D.’s gun and going on a killing spree.  This helps her finish.  Denise is pretty certain that she’s getting distracted with him, and that her involvement is interfering with her abilities as a doctor.  When Carla asks her if Derek is a nice guy, Denise says she thought his name was “Eric”. A Dish Best Served Cold

Samberg! Arnett! Hader! ‘Slaughter Shack!’
Tuesday, May 5 by

Andy Samberg and Will Arnett in Slaughter Shack – Watch more Funny VideosI generally stay away from the MTV Movie Awards as much as possible, but their promo videos and interstitials during the show keep pulling me back in time and time again.  This time, it's a Road House-inspired fight scene with Andy Samberg, Will Arnett and an amazing cameo by – dare I say it? – someone carrying Phil Hartman's torch… Bill Hader.   

Monday TV Preview
Monday, May 4 by

Tonight, a ballerina's lungs implode during a performance and then the skin on her body starts falling off (House), Jack Bauer gets closer and closer to thwarting a secret society of CEO's hell bent on terrorizing their own country (24), and the Discovery channel gives us thorough insight into the military 'Juggernaut.' Your extended preview and an awesome video of a tank jumping from a mound and firing it's main weapon mid-air.

Breaking Bad Recap: 4 Days Out
Sunday, May 3 by

Walt’s cancer is getting worse. He realizes that he’s gonna have to cook like crazy to make sure his family is provided for. After the cost of laundering his money, orchestrated by good old Saul, he’s only got 9 grand. So he and Jesse lie to their respective women and head out to the desert with plenty of Funyons and drinking water for a weekend long meth cook off. After a nice little drug making montage they come out with about 42 pounds and they stand to make over half a million bucks each. They’ve still got a little methylamine left so they decide to take a break and head into town for a grand slam at Denny’s. But it turns out old Jesse left the keys in the ignition and the battery died. So they try to jump the Methmobile with a generator. But the generator catches fire. And then Jesse dumps their cooler of drinking water on the flames. The fire’s out but they are fucked. They call Skinny Pete who agrees to come pick them up. After waiting for hours they decide to call Skinny again and it turns out he got lost, then Walt’s phone dies. Oh crap.

Dollhouse Recap: Briar Rose
Sunday, May 3 by

This week’s episode of Dollhouse can best be described as a twisted version of Sleeping Beauty, where Echo’s savior could either be an altruistic ex-FBI agent, or a violent, vengeful ex-lover. Story TimeA man wearing tattered clothing approaches a dumpster and begins sifting through its contents.  Pulling aside a few bits of trash reveals a human arm, poking through the rubbish.  The man moves forward to inspect what must be a disposed carcass, but when he is within range the hand lashes out and closes around the poor guy’s throat.

Weekend TV Preview
Friday, May 1 by

Look at this glorious beast…Besides hunting your children and howling at the moon, the Yellowstone Wolf struggles for life in Yellowstone National Park amongst harsh conditions. Discovery has an Planet Earth-like series following this noble creature as it dodges geysers, battles bears for buffalo meat and survives in one of the last great pieces of vast wilderness. Video of a wolf/bear battle, a gas tanker exploding, and previews of Dollhouse and Breaking Bad after the jump.

‘THE OFFICE’: CASUAL FRIDAY + DAVE M. RAGES AGAINST B.J. NOVAK!
Friday, May 1 by

[Editor's Note: Per writer "Dave M's" request, we're making this one quick, so that we can get to the real meat of this post, his impassioned letter to actor B.J. Novak.  Also, ScreenJunkies in no way endorses or agrees with Dave M's point of view.]Okay, Office Lovers.  We learned from this week's episode that Michael, Pam and Ryan have rejoined the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin and it's about time.  Splitting the glibness between 2 offices seemed a bit of a challenge for NBC's Office writing staff as the show ventured into more awkward situational humor than actual laughs during the last several Idris Elba-filled episodes… 

Southland Recap: Sally in the Alley
Friday, May 1 by

Detectives Clarke, Adams, Bryant, and Moretta take the spotlight in this week’s episode of Southland to investigate the murder of a young woman in South Central Los Angeles. Sally in the AlleyThe body of a young woman has been discarded on the side of the road.  A group of kids are huddled around throwing balls at it.  A few of them pull out their cell phones to take pictures and record a video.  Some time later a call is made to report the body, and shortly thereafter the detectives show up.  Shockingly, this scenario occurs with such frequency that it has its’ own slang reference.  A slain, discarded female body is known in Cop jargon as 9 Sally in the alley.” 

Parks and Recreation Recap: Boy’s Club
Friday, May 1 by

The episode opens with Leslie and Tom driving out to a hiking trail where, as Tom informs the camera, teenagers are thought to be digging out bags of dog poop out of the garbage and throwing them at each other, as a game. Knope is skeptical, but she and Tom quickly find out it is a harsh reality, as Leslie is pummeled by multiple bags, defending herself with a trash can lid, while Tom takes refuge in the car. Leslie quickly changes her attitude regarding the fighting as she begins to defend herself, hurling back the bags with vigor. Welcome to Pawnee, everybody!

Thursday TV Preview
Thursday, April 30 by

Before you dress up as Gambit for the midnight screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, be sure not to miss your favorite night of TV. Tonight, Ms Knope goes head-to-head with an 'Old Boys Club', there's an interesting casual friday at the Office, Tracy Jordan tries to become more mature (see above), and the LA po-po try and track down the identity of a body that the crips and/or bloods used for target practice. Check out a full preview after the break (now with extra Creed Bratton!)