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My ABCs
Wednesday, January 28 by

Season 8, Episode 155: MY ABCs J.D., Turk, Elliot, and Dr. Cox struggle with their new interns who are taking their first baby steps as doctors. J.D. fantasizes that the halls of Sacred Heart are overrun with Sesame Street characters, who help him to teach his new interns the basics. Kindred spirits Dr. Cox is doing rounds with the interns and is unsurprisingly annoyed by them.  As he grills Katie for giving a wrong answer, Ed–a relaxed, brainy intern–steps in and shows Dr. Cox what he's got.  As it turns out, Ed knows everything and Cox can't stump him. Ed coins the term "Zwah!", which is what you say when you show someone up.  Cox begins to wonder what it is he hates about Ed and calls upon the Janitor for insight, arguing that the Janitor and he are kindred spirits in the sense that they generally hate people.  Kelso proposes that perhaps Cox hates Ed because he really hates himself. Eenie-Meenie

Tuesday Night TV
Tuesday, January 27 by

Tonight's TV gives you the choice of an hour's worth of absurd comedy from the brilliant people at Scrubs, OR an hour's worth of Fringe where the team has to find out why people's brains are being liquefied (then presumably mixed with Hennessy and sipped).Plenty more brain juice after the jump.

1PM-2PM
Monday, January 26 by

Larry Moss demands a broader search for Bauer and Almeida during a speech to his whole department at FBI techno-thief headquarters. He's also starting to lose it over the possibiliy of Walker's death.Buchanan and Chloe arrive at Walker's temporary grave to unbury her. She's not breathing. "Get the adrenaline!" They pierce her heart with it, and she wakes up.Bauer asks Emerson how he got Almeida out of CTU. He explains this story about how Mr. Anderson intentionally missed his artery as he was injecting him with poision, and that Emerson's role was cultivate Almeida into a vengeful machine to use against Bauer. Almeida starts crying? Talking about brothers (he and Emerson) taking care of eachother? Lame.They get to the drop off point at an airport hangar where Emerson disarms Bauer and holds a gun up to his head. Almeida caps the other guy, and after an intense "take the shot!" sort of thing, Tony shoots Emerson dead.

Big Baby
Monday, January 26 by

Tonight I had a friend tell me that House is like a hospital based version of Law and Order. Although I have never particularly been a fan of Law and Order, I can see where this assessment is coming from. Both shows are investigative, have whacky multi-directional plot twists, and are based around characters with strong attitudes. Maybe I should start watching more Law and Order.

Knuckle Deep Monday Night Preview
Monday, January 26 by

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend. Jack Bauer spent it giving ladies the shocker (pictured above). Mine consisted of book shelving, cheap wine, and witnessing a midget dressed as Britney Spears strip to her underwear (Lil Wayne concert = worth the money). Tonight, House cares for a special ed teacher, and 24 heats up with Bauer starting to make his moves against the bad guys he's currently working for (crossing my fingers for a terrorist attack!). One of the greatest/funniest/golfiest movies of all time is also on tonight. More after the jump.

Tami Knows Best
Monday, January 26 by

Welcome back to Panther Nation all you friends of the yellow and blue. This week, we had an eventful installment as our Panthers played the Laribee Lions, Tim Riggins received interest from none other than the Oklahoma Sooners, Tami took on the town in her bid to reallocate the Jumbotron funds, Tyra Collette was elected senior class President, and Matt Saracen paid his estranged mother a visit. If you were a bit apprehensive after last week’s episode, rest assured that the Texas high school football gods heard your prayers and made it up to you this week.

BSG Recap: A Disquiet Follows My Soul
Sunday, January 25 by

If last week's episode was all about giving up, then this is about starting over.  Which makes sense, as this episode was really all about setting up the endgame of the entire series. Also: more unfit fathers than an entire Joss Whedon series!

Retreat to Move Forward
Friday, January 23 by

Time to recap the best comedy on television: 30 Rock. I laughed, I cried, I prayed… nah, I just laughed. In this episode Jack convinces Lemon to go to an upscale retreat for businessmen, Tracy thinks he has diabetes and doesn’t care at all, and Jenna and Frank have sex. That’s right–the typically disgusting writer and the typically babe-ish actor hook up.   

Undercover Dunder-Mifflin Brothers
Thursday, January 22 by

David Wallace gives Michael a new assignment – travel to a small family business called Prince Paper to gather intel on their numbers so that they can put them out of business.  He takes Dwight with him but once he gets there finds following through with his plan more difficult.  Oh yeah, and also the entire office has a vote on whether or not Hillary Swank is hot.   It’s all after the jump.

Thursday TV Preview
Thursday, January 22 by

Just your typical Thursday Night TV– a solid chunk of laughs with new episodes from The Office and 30 Rock. And hey, why not dial into TruTV as a fallback during the commercials? Where else are you going to find the best penile fractures and crack fueled attempts at outrunning a helicopter with a 1987 Buick LaSabre? With music by Benny Hill.

Lost Premiere Recap: We have to go back.
Thursday, January 22 by

Okay, now that we’re all done releasing our three-minute long sighs of relief that the best drama on TV is back, it’s time to take a look at where our beloved islanders and mainlanders are nowadays. The islanders discover that they’ve somehow been unhinged from time and are bouncing around different times on the island, and Jack and Ben unite to recruit their old friends for a return visit to the island. Kate is also confronted with a choice to make about Aaron, and Hurley has to find a way to hide a dangerously tranquilized Sayid after they’re nearly shot down by assassins waiting in the gloom of Sayid’s room. It’s riveting, it’s fun, it’s a must watch, and it’s also right after the jump.

Wednesday Night TV Preview
Wednesday, January 21 by

If you've never seen Lost, then tonight is your night. The first hour attempts to recap everything that happened in the past four seasons, and then they proceeds to bombast you with a two hour premiere that will leave you stupeified and asking for more. Also check out FOX's new series Lie to Me starring Tim Roth as an expert in lie detection who helps the cops solve crimes. Would I be lying if I said I'm crapping my pants in anticipation for Lost? You be the judge.

Olivia Dunham Will Kick Your Ass
Wednesday, January 21 by

The show opens with Olivia being held captive by five men in a secluded lab down by the docks. Yes, it's a typical kidnapping with guys in masks and her being tied down to a gurney. What's not typical is the female in distress, Olivia in this case, kicking, punching and shooting her way out. Yup, Olivia opens up this episode with quite the can of whoop-ass, check out what she does next after the jump.

7 Best Paternity Results Reactions
Tuesday, January 20 by

FROM: HOLY TACO. Why someone would want to be confronted with paternity test results on national television is beyond me. But then I'm also not addicted to meth, Aqua Net, and Value Cigarettes. Click HERE to witness some of these amazing reactions.

Inauguration Extravaganza TV Preview
Tuesday, January 20 by

Barack Obama and his Super Friends take over all the stations for prertty much the entire day and night. You have every channel commenting on every single gesture everyone makes, with interspersed shots of really excited people screaming and jumping to be seen on TV at the biggest bash of all time. What, you're not drunk yet? I'm trashed! Surprisingly, FOX is running their regular schedule, which includes the return of Fringe. Welcome to the age of Obama!

Presidential Motorcade Gatling Suburban
Tuesday, January 20 by

I've been watching the MSNBC inauguration coverage out of the corner of my eye today. With the few delays– like Ted Kennedy having a seizure and a few gaffs– like Chief Justice John Roberts bungling the inaugural oath, it's been a pretty amazing day in DC, and the anchors have done a solid job. They spent some time talking about how cock-diesel the new Presidential Limo is. 5 inch thick blast proof doors, chemical attack-proof oxygen system, and other things we'll never know about. But what they didn't mention was that this bad-boy gatling gun suburban rolls behind it in the motorcade parade that's currently taking place. Hope and change are important and all. But if things go south, spraying a wall of lead is a nice backup plan. Check this video.

Painless
Monday, January 19 by

Tonight’s episode is about pain. Well, not all about pain, but mostly about it. The patient suffers from intense chronic pain that nobody can cure. House suffers ever-increasing pain in his legs, and he is starting to wonder if this pain will ever leave.  Ohhh, and a pipe breaks in House’s home, leading to an extended metaphor for House’s physical condition. Along with this main theme of pain are the smaller sub-plots that make House one of the best shows on television. Thirteen and Foremon discuss their kiss, Taub and Kutner fight about the ethics of suicide, and Cuddy gets approved to be a foster mom.  It is these little sub-plots that have me tuning into House every week. That and House’s sarcastic banter. I love that sarcastic banter. The Patient

24 Recap: 12PM-1PM
Monday, January 19 by

Matobo and his wife, locked into the safe room, hang tight while Jack, Tony, and Emerson try and figure out a way in. Agent Walker, fresh from interrogating Tanner, speeds towards Matobo's house. But Larry Moss calls her enroute, asking about her methods of interrogation. "So you tortured him?"–"I got the information we needed." He demands that she come back, but Walker's stubborn, and tells him that she's got to make things right.

MLK Day TV Preview
Monday, January 19 by

Here's a sobering MLK DAY factoid for you: 2000 was the first year all 50 states recognized it as a Federal holiday after it was passed as law in 1986. Ponder that a little bit, try to figure out why people wouldn't want a day off work, and then give yourself over to the TV. House is back in action tonight after a 4 week holiday break, and some terrorists are going to piss off Jack Bauer by flying planes into eachother. Your TV lineup after the jump.

I Knew You When
Monday, January 19 by

Hello all you Panther fans out there, this is Slammin’ Sammy Meade here welcoming you to another season of Dillon High School football. The first episode tied up a few loose ends left after the strike shortened last year’s team. Smash Williams hurt his knee in a devastating playoff loss, and lost his scholarship. His hopes are still high as we first encounter him doing calisthenics with the legendary Coach Taylor. Toward the end of the summer, Tyra and Landry also apparently called the whole thing off. They remain friends though, which may indicate a willingness to rekindle. Buddy’s ex-wife ran off with the kids to northern California to live with the environmentalist health food nut, leaving Lyla to live with her father. I must say I like this move, and that Buddy is better off without her.

A Good Opportunity
Sunday, January 18 by

It's business time once again from the Middle-Earthian duo Flight of the Conchords. Season two starts off with a meeting between Jemaine, Bret, and their manager Murray, who is more invested in hitmaking machine "The Crazy Dogs" (who have such hits as 'Doggy Bounce,' 'Doggy Dance,' and 'In the Pound') than the struggling Conchords. They fire Murray, who in anger double stuffs Jemaine ('stuff you Jemaine, stuff you Bret, and stuff you again Jemain'), and proceeds to burst into operatic ballad after they leave. The poor guy feels rejected, ejected, and unprotected like a baby in the snow.

BSG RECAP: ‘Sometimes A Great Notion’
Sunday, January 18 by

The title of episode is "Sometimes a Great Notion," which is a direct reference to Ken Kesey's second novel, the one you probably haven't read, but it's really a reference for Kesey's source for that phrase, Lead Belly's version of Goodnight Irene: Sometimes I have a great notion / jumpin into the river and drown.What happens when the dream you've based your entire life upon turns out to be a cruel, cruel lie?  Sometimes you give up.  You jump into the river, let it take you where it will.

The Face of The Enemy BSG Webisodes Reccapage
Friday, January 16 by

Pity poor Felix Gaeta. First, he followed his long-time unrequited (probably) crush on Gaius Baltar right into Baltar's decadent and ultimately disastrous reign as President on New Caprica.  Then, despite the fact that he was a key figure in giving the Resistance crucial information, he is nearly airlocked by a Tigh-led outlaw tribunal for being a traitor.  Finally, in the midst of an unsuccessful mutiny against a seemingly crazy Starbuck, who is leading a fat-chance recon mission to find a clue to Earth, he is shot in the leg by Samuel T. Anders, and eventually gets it amputated.

There Can Only Be One
Thursday, January 15 by

Andy still doesn’t know about Dwight and Angela’s wedding, so after the truth is revealed to him, he challenges Dwight to a duel in the parking lot outside the building.  Michael also has a meeting with David Wallace in New York where his boss tells him something is not quite right with Scranton's numbers – so to speak. Check out the full recap after the jump, junkies.

Flu Shot
Thursday, January 15 by

This week's newest installment begins with Liz Lemon arriving at the NBC studio all jazzed up, and ready to get through work so she can take her beloved vacation to the island of St. Barnobies. Her happiness is quickly stifled when she runs into Kenneth, who is sick with the flu. Liz explains to Kenneth that he can't come near her. She fears that she will catch his flu, ruining her vacation. Liz turns away from Kenneth and runs into her ditsy assistant Cerie. Cerie tells Liz not to worry about the vacation, because the vacation spot was all booked up.

George W: It’s Been Real
Thursday, January 15 by

  Dear Mr. President, My Name is Max Powers. I watch a lot of TV. Tonight you are going to be on TV. This is the last time that you are going to be on the TV (like all official as the president) and you will be giving your farewell goodbye-bye talk. I hope nobody throws shoes. They probably will not because you are giving the talk in America and not Durka-Durakastan. Do you ever watch The Office? Now that is a funny show. So is 30 Rock. They will also be on TV with you. Not with you, but like also on tonight. Sincerely, Max Powers. PS, Don't let the door hit you in your ass on the way out.

George: It’s Been Real
Thursday, January 15 by

Dear Mr. President,

‘UFC Primetime’ Episode 1 Recap
Thursday, January 15 by

FROM CAGE POTATO: We open with the hair-raising voice of punk-legend/TV host Henry Rollins: "They are bitter rivals from different worlds. A stone-cold champion from the frigid streets of Montreal, and a hot-blooded challenger from the black sands of Hilo Bay…" So begins the first episode of UFC Primetime, the "St Pierre vs. Penn 2" promotional mini-series that reportedly cost $1.7 million to produce, with each episode being completed just hours before it airs. Check out the full recap at Cage Potato.

Wednesday Night TV Preview With Extra Volcanoes
Wednesday, January 14 by

Take a breather, there's nothin' new tonight (except Knight Rider, where a bomb placed inside KITT will explode if he goes under a certain speed–Dennis Hopper's prob behind it). On the other hand, there's a rerun of the 2hr season 4 finale of Lost to get you super psyched for the return of the show, a top 10 countdown of the dangers associated with volcanic eruptions (#1 is skinny girls burn faster than fat ones), and a showing of Napoleon Dynamite. Dont worry, there's an eruption of TV premieres coming up (The Office, Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights, House, Lost).

My Happy Place
Wednesday, January 14 by

Elliot and J.D. are hanging out again, Janitor has returned to get his job back, and Kelso is still sitting in the cafeteria eating free muffins.  Dr. Cox reveals his distrust of all surgeons, and constantly belittles Turk… even in front of his patients.