One of the most timeless TV characters has to be the little boy in the orange hooded sweatshirt Kenny McCormick, constantly beset by death in any number of ways, whether it be a bitten off-head, sliced in half, or a dreaded STD. And through it all, Parker and Stone have constantly innovated the way this unfortunate youngster kicks the bucket, never once letting the joke become stale or boring or predictable. They structured a movie plot around him, actually killed him for an entire season, then let at least one full season pass by without his death. Nowadays you always look forward to a Kenny death, and it’s in honor of this immortal/mortal little boy that Screen Junkies presents to you the most inventive Kenny deaths of all time.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine mentioning Barack Obama and Limp Bizkit in the same breath, (Try saying Limp Obama Bizkits and tell me it's not fun) but here we are. Pres. Obama is giving another channel hogging Press Conference about toxicity and assets and such. But switch it over to Snoop, he's got the guys from 'Bizkit' talking about their long awaited reunion tour. More nookie after the break.
The cops are at Senator Blaine Mayer's house collecting evidence, but Moss doesn't need any evidence, he concludes that Bauer's the culprit. He calls up Ethan Kanin. "It's Sentor Mayer, he's dead.""What?!?!" Kanin replies. Kanin, flabbergasted at what has happened hangs up the phone and slumps in his chair.President Taylor calls up her husband, who is awake and seemingly doing alright. She tells him that Juma and Dubaku are dead, that everything's over, and that Olivia has joined the staff. The first man is relieved. They hang up.Kanin walks in. "He's expected to make a full recover! Maybe, just maybe this day will end on a positive note," says President Taylor.Yeah right.Kanin tells the President that Senator Mayer has been apparently slain by Bauer. President Taylor can't believe it. Then Kanin says that he has to step down because he couldn't do enough to protect the President from the shitstorm that happened only a few hours ago."I'm a liability to you now…don't let me sink your agenda.""OUR agenda, Ethan…"
Danko receives a little present from an anonymous donor, the gift being Eric Doyle the puppet master, and Rebel is up to some more antics as his identity is revealed and Tracy has to make a choice on whether she will betray Rebel or not. Parkman has to find a way to save Daphne, and Hiro and Ando discover that baby Matt has powers. Claire is blessedly absent this episode, and we get some juicy screentime from a neglected character: Angela Petrelli. It’s a thrilling return to form for Heroes, and it’s right after the jump.
Well, Battlestar Galactica is over and done with (read Jim Connelly's tear-jerking eulogy here), but Universal and the newly re-branded Syfy Network have already begun bombarding us with shrapnel made in Caprica. Here's one of the clips. Check out the other six after the jump!
An Associated Press report unveiled but moments ago that TV's Stephen Colbert came in first in NASA's online contest to name a new room at the international space station. The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.Of course, this is what happens when you let write-in votes count, especially when week after week, Colbert has proven that his viewers will do anything that he asks them to do, especially if it means getting something named after their idol. [Colbert's 230,539 votes] clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes. Nearly 1.2 million votes were cast by the time the contest ended Friday. I think Serenity is a totally serviceable name, and I think the Wicked Pictures star whose name all the NASA computer geeks threw into the hat would agree.In fact, this whole thing makes me long for the days when NASA just named their spacecraft after porn stars.
While House takes a breather after the glorious 'killer kitty' episode, 24 is right on point with Bauer on the run from the Feds after being framed for two murders and killing the real culprit, but you know he ain't getting deterred by nothing from finding Jon Voight's Bioweapon! Also, catch some biblical bloodshed on Battles BC, a show that reenacts some excellent warrings from our bloodthirsty ancestors. Another Regis 'I'm a Robot' Philbin somehow appears on 2 Late Night shows tonight as well. Your preview after the break.
The average successful TV show has four or five seasons, a total of 80-90 episodes. At 20 minutes an episode, that’s at least 1600 minutes of entertainment. And that's not including the really popular ones like The Simpsons (20 years) or ER (15 years). That’s a lot of airtime to fill… So, once execs discover a certain kind of show is popular, half a dozen clones will pop up… staple characters are born… then die… then get reincarnated. The circle of life on Television. Some of these recyclable characters have been around for ages, while others have just made their debut in the last ten years or so. (And many of the shows below fall into several categories, but for the sake of variety once a show has appeared in a category it won’t appear again.) So without further ado, Screen Junkies presents… TV’s Top Ten Recyclable Characters. 10. The Drama Queen Doctor
Jessie’s mission aboard the USS Jimmy Carter in the year 2027 is compromised, which may have severe consequences if John Connor can’t be warned. As Jessie in the future comes to learn that perhaps there is more to this war than she knows, Jessie in the present is forced to deal with the consequences of killing Connor’s girlfriend. About The FutureJohn and Derek share a somber moment. Riley is on both of their minds.Derek breaks the silence: “I’m sorry. She didn’t deserve what happened.”John agrees but quickly changes the subject. “How long could you survive with Cameron if she wanted to kill you?” John inquires.“What kind of weapon do I have?” Derek asks, humoring the boy.“Fists, elbows, fingernails, teeth…”“Those aren’t weapons.”“No.”“You know the answer to that, John. If she wants you dead, you’re dead.”John nods because Derek is speaking the truth. He tells Derek that he wants to talk to him about the future.
Bravo Coach Taylor. Our Panthers won the second playoff game after an eventful week in Dillon, Texas. Many relationship dynamics changed this week, as Julie and Matt were caught in bed together, JD McCoy was caught sneaking out, and Landry finally realized how one-sided his relationship with Tyra was. Lyla’s relationship with Buddy took a turn for the worse as well, after Buddy’s investment of her college fund went sour. It was a great episode of Friday Night Lights, answering some questions while posing a few of its own.
The promise of brief nudity comes to fruition before the opening credits even role when Walter is seen walking around naked in a grocery store. In shock and in the hospital, Walter’s family is relieved to find their cancer stricken patriarch. Walter then takes to lying, giving a bogus story about where he was and covering up his knowledge of Hank’s bloodletting of Tuco from Episode 2. Meanwhile Hank reveals to his superiors that he was busy searching for Walter when he ran into Tuco. This leads his superiors to question Walter and Jesse’s past as high school student and teacher. At Jesse’s house, Jesse and his friend Badger frantically clear out his entire crystal kitchen into the notorious Winnebago. And poof, Badger’s cousin tows away the notorious camper and Jesse thinks he is clean of that part of his life.
I’ve got a theory, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is this: no TV show should ever go more than 5 or 6 seasons. Even the greatest shows begin to lose something after that many seasons, and often start tarnishing what made them great in the first place. Which is a roundabout way of saying that while Battlestar Galactica has turned out to be my current All-Time Favorite TV Show Ever, I’m still very glad that it’s leaving the airwaves. I’d rather have 4.5 (or whatever) great seasons than 10 seasons, where the last five were shite. So while I’m sad that Battlestar Galactica is ending, I’m also happy that they’re leaving while firing on all cylinders. Of course, “firing on all cylinders,” is just my opinion. Lotsa folks out there think that this Series Finale was either a misfire, or a case of firing on too many cylinders. I’ve got a theory for that, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is: there are three main reasons that people think that a particular Series Finale sucks:
While the series finale of Battlestar Galacica may not come with such a hullabaloo as did with the Seinfeld finale, ScreenJunkies can whole heartedly gurantee you it will be a 100x more satisfying send-off. Is BSG one of the best shows in TV history? So get all your nerdlinger buddies over and throw a big viewing party with Battlestar Bento and Battlestar Cocktails and get Battlestar Drunk. BE WARNED–If you have to record it on your DVR, remember that the finale is 2 HRS and 11 MINUTES LONG. All your other favorites on schedule too (FNL, T:TSCC, BB), but dammit, if you have to watch anything this weekend, make sure it's Battlestar. Your preview after the break.
This newest episode of 30 Rock begins with Liz Lemon telling Kenneth she is ducking up town to have lunch with her boyfriend, Drew. Initially, Kenneth is confused; Liz Lemon doesn’t normally have many boyfriends. But yes, to Liz’s delight, she is still dating Drew. Tracy tells Kenneth he wants jerk chicken and pictures of pregnant women in their bikinis. Kenneth already has these items ready, he always knows what Tracy likes. Jack asks Liz how Tracy’s mood seemed. Jack is negotiating Tracy’s new contract and is a little nervous. Liz walks down the street with her boyfriend. Everyone they pass compliments Drew, including Calvin Klein, who wants Drew to be the next underwear model.
The new boss for the northeastern branches, successor to Jan and Ryan, comes into the office so Michael can introduce him to his branch to get to know it better, while Jim has to suffer because he wore a tux to work that day to mess with Dwight for being strict about the dress code. The new boss is none too lenient, though, and starts cracking down on office spending while several office women eye his good looks. Michael doesn’t like the new boss too much, and pesters David about him. It’s the shot in the arm this Office season needs, and it’s right after the jump.
The Office and 30 Rock continue to churn some laughs out of you for yet another edition of 'Must See Thursday.' Michael gets some stiff competition from the new Vice President of Dunder Miff, and Drew makes another appearance on 30 Rock while Jack fights for Tracy to stay on with TGS. Not to be outdone is Pres. Obama, who makes an appearance on Jay Leno tonight with Garth Brooks on as the musical guest. Your preview after the break.
Sacred Heart's couples experience a few hiccups, while Turk takes a risk by performing a controversial procedure on a patient whose father is desperate. Back In The Ring Dr. Cox's family visits him at the hospital where Jordan is enjoying the perks of Cox's new position. She happily claims that she has fired two cafeteria employees on the grounds that their accents were unbearable, confirming- once again- that she is a horrible person. She sits at the table with Jack, who is carrying a stack of pancakes taller than he is. When Cox asks why Jack isn't in school, Jordan explains that kids don't have school on Yom Kippur. Cox points out that Yom Kippur was six months ago, and Jordan is made to realize that she's been outsmarted by her five-year-old son. "I hate school!" Jack claims victoriously, throwing his arms in the air like Rocky.
Last night, TV took a little hiatus to toss back some car bombs and chill with his leprechaun buddies. But tonight, la Televisión is back on the wagon and on point with a tremendously enjoyable night of plane crashes, 'ScrubsCenter', Mysterio, and an explanation of coolness. A surplus of video, some solid Late Night bands 'n babes, and your Wednesday lineup after the jump.
Slainte! Grab some green, some kegs, some cabbage and corned beef, some shamrocks, and of course, your remote. The Leprechaun inside your TV is offering some brilliant accoutrements to accompany you through the night: Snoop Dogg talking to Busta Rhymes in soft focus while babes dance in the background, Rudy going against all odds, and a showing of Will Ferrell being hilarious while quite inebriated. Your preview after the break. Dogg After Dark 9/8c on MTV Busta gives credit where credit's due.
A while back we scoured the internet to bring you a collection of the worst local tv ads. We ended up finding so many that we had to give you more. This time around the selection is far crazier and far crappier. Crapzier. “Enjoy!" JONES BIG ASS TRUCK RENTAL & STORAGE This is actually a fake but it’s a charming fake so it’s too hilarious to not include. Which is a shame because if he were real, I’m sure that Toby Jones would be crowned King of Them Internets. DYNAMIC PAWN SHOP
Bauers on the move. Police are every which way. He elbows the window of a car, hotwires it, and screeches of in a vintage Mustang that happens to have a laptop in it.
This episode starts off with House in his office making a miniature racetrack. He races model cars on a track made out of medical supplies. Cuddy comes into the room and tells House he should have been helping patients, instead of making a racetrack. Cuddy introduces him to a new patient. After Cuddy leaves the room, the patient seizes and pees green urine. Thus begins another episode of House. House is with the team in his office writing on the ‘symptoms board’ in green pen. Taub is late and in a bad mood. He questions House’s decision to choose this patient. House punishes Taub for his disobedience. House orders the team to test the patient’s home for outside influences that would make her pee green.
Tonight's lineup is rife with hilarity! In House, people die after cuddling with kitties, whilst in 24, Jack Bauer screamingly interrogates 'Red' from That 70's Show. You have to love FOX. And frakkin' a! This is officially the last week before Battlestar Galactica ends it's glorious run at rounding one of the greatest Nerd Herds in recent memory. SciFi honors said dorks with a final special where even the Cylons get teary-eyed. Your preview after the break.
John copes with the loss of his girlfriend while those close to him point fingers at his suspicious cyborg. Sound AdviceJessie sits pondering in an easy chair with Riley’s corpse on the floor beside her. A flashback occupies her mind. In it, Derek is explaining to Jessie that he is going on a mission. He warns her to always aim for the chip (when executing Terminators), kisses her and tells her he’ll see her later. The flashback ends. After a moment, Jessie stands and zips up the plastic body bag covering John Connor’s late girlfriend. Sarah is packing things into boxes when John walks in. It’s pretty clear what’s going on–they’re moving again–so John offers to take care of the garage. He finds Cameron there, mulling over robot parts. Afraid of what his mother might do if she finds them, John tells Cameron to bury them so they can be incinerated later. Bad News
It’s right there in the title: “Part 1.” Of course this was going to be all setup for next week’s final confrontation, so, knowing that was our expectation, Ron Moore went on a bit of different route. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t necessarily take an apocalypse caused by Sexy Killer Robots to make life totally suck. Life can do that all on its own, as we shall see.Edward James Olmos gets to do the previouslies, which are: • Starbuck found her own dead body on Earth, which sucks, and after making the mistake, or “mistake,” of confessing her deadness to Gaius Baltar, he outs her. • Samuel T. Anders gets a bullet to the brain, and Starbuck, having been given the transcription to “All Along the Watchtow– Is anybody paying attention? Is there anybody who is watching this last batch of episodes who is a NEW viewer of Battlestar Galactica? Because DO NOT start here. Start with the mini-series, for frak’s sake. Sheesh!
It's the 13th, it's Friday, and the moon is 91% full…Things gonna happen extra weird for you today, what with it being the second freaky friday in a row. Watch out!–dogs will be able to jump extra high, babies will stare at you, and your bike just might blow up if you try riding it. Luckily for you, TV laughs defiantly in the wretched face of superstition, offering a no-nonsense weekend of black cat bootin,' astrology free programming of superb (and almost over!) Sci-Fi drama, robots, football, and a little methamphetamine. Take charge of your destiny this Friday the 13th, by staying the hell inside! Your preview after the break.
Michael has another one of his brilliant ideas, this one involving sending out five golden tickets randomly to their clients, entitling the finder to 10% off their paper for that fiscal year. Unfortunately, he hides all of them in one shipment, so one company gets 50% off, as Michael wisely failed to include "limit one per customer" on any of the tickets. He must figure out a way to pin the blame on somebody else before a pissed off David Wallace shows up, and you can find out exactly how in this week's Office, right ater the jump.
This week’s episode opens with our star, Liz Lemon, carrying an armload of packages to the 30 Rock building. Kenneth offers to help her with the packages, and she confides in Kenneth that she is starting fresh. She bought all the fixings necessary to get her life in order. Suddenly, she gets hit by a biker. She now knows this will be the worst day of her life. Liz comes into the studio, distressed. She calls the morning meeting and asks everyone to ‘be cool’ for the day–she doesn’t want any problems. Frank comes out of his office with no pants on, and Liz reprimands him. Liz’s assistant Cerie informs Liz she has jury duty. This day is definitely going to blow.
Another highly dependable Thursday night of TV for you. New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock, whilst the best buddy cop movie of all time screens for you to switch back and forth during commericals. On that note, here's some completely arbitrary information–did you know they used the f-word exactly 48 times in that movie? Your much more useful TV preview after the break.
Kenny has a girlfriend! Much to the chagrin of his pals, who, when they discover that she's a slut who gave a boy a blowjob in the parking lot of a TGIFridays, warn him of the dangerous diseases, like syphillis, that you can catch from that most vile repository of filth: an American woman's mouth. Kenny is undeterred, though, and plans to use the "tingly" feeling the Jonas Brothers ignite in her to get his way. Only one problem. The Jonas Brother's new fad? Purity rings. It's the new season of South Park!!! Episode 1: The RingFull Episode Online: TV Dome