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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, September 25th – Sunday, September 27th 2009
Friday, September 25 by

This weekend brings us an animated Seth Rogen, a new take on He Who Walks Behind The Rows, new episodes of cult favorites, and the comedy stylings of Megan Fox. If you don't tune in, you're not welcome within thirty feet of the water cooler on Monday. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!! 

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, September 24th, 2009
Thursday, September 24 by

Of course the big premiere tonight is that of the heavily-anticipated FlashForward. But we also get a new season of the Grandfather of Cheesy Procedurals, CSI. Throw in some hard partying with John Mayer and you may have to call out sick tomorrow. If you want to see what else is hot this fall season, check out our Fall Prime Time Picks. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘FlashForward’ Actress Sonya Walger
Thursday, September 24 by

Sonya Walger was Penny on Lost, or as her husband Desmond pronounced it, "Penne!" like the pasta.  But she also was on Tell Me You Love Me, where her character gave a controversial rub and tug to Adam Scott's character.  Some people say it was Brown Bunny-real, while others think it was Boogie Nights-fake.  Either way, Sonya looks like she's got some skeeellz.  Look for her tonight as Olivia Benford on the premiere of FlashForward on ABC.  It's network though, so don't expect any happy endings (sexually speaking).     A word from Sonya: "I don't watch TV!"Well that's not going to help the ratings of your new show any.  Try taking a gander tonight.  See how you do.  We promise television is far more entertaining than listening to The Shadow program on the radio.  Oh wait, radio dramas don't exist anymore because it's 2009!The pictures of Sonya after the jump though are timeless!

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, September 17th, 2009
Wednesday, September 23 by

An aging strongman, bored soldiers, bored housewives, and various residues. Tonight's TV Preview contains things you might find in a Walmart. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘Modern Family’ Actress Sofia Vergara
Wednesday, September 23 by

Sofia Vergara isn't too well known in the States, but in Colombia she's a goddess.  And judging by her pic above you can see why.  Sofia stars as Ed O'Neill's wife Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family, which premieres tonight on ABC.  I've seen it, and while it may not completely alleviate your Arrested Development withdrawal, it's as close as you're going to get to funny dysfunctional family situational comedy.  Watch it, if only for Sofia, and to kill some time.A word from Sofia: "This is how I've looked since I was 13 years old."I think that makes you the reason they invented statutory rape.Here are some delightfully legal pics after the jump!

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
Tuesday, September 22 by

Tonight's preview features gyrations and eruptions. Not the sexy kind. Also take a look at some of tonight's big premieres by checking out our Fall Prime Time Picks. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘Miss Howard TV’ Dominique Dicaprio
Tuesday, September 22 by

No relation to Leo, but impressive, none the less.  Very impressive.  Not much is known about Dominique except that shock jock Howard Stern apparently picked her to be the next "Miss Howard TV."  She's even ahead of Megan Fox in search trends on Google.  Yowza!  Who knew we'd live to see this day.  People are finally getting over Megan Fox.  Looks like she might have to take that next big leap to keep her career alive.  And of course I'm talking about gettin' nakey.   A word from Dominique: No comment.Dominique is too new on the scene to say anything that we can blatantly take out of context, but I'm guessing you're not too interested in her deep insights anyway.  You want to see more voluptuous curves, and you want to see them now, damnit.Well look no further than after the jump!

MODERN FAMILY
Tuesday, September 22 by

Network: ABCCast: Ed O'Neill, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Sofia VergaraProducers: Steven Levitan, Christopher Lloyd Synopsis: A satirical look at three different families and the trials they face in each of their own uniquely comedic ways.

Fall 2009 Primetime TV Picks
Tuesday, September 22 by

Praise the autumnal equinox!  With the changing of the leaves comes the changing of television programming, and while the Summer heat made me unconscionably sweaty, this season's new lineup has all my glands wide open.  So clear your DVR's queue to make room for my personal favorites this Fall.  I'm guaranteeing a fantastic time indoors away from parents, women, and cyborgs (don't pretend like they're not out there among us).  Enjoy the following!   What it's about: Winning Emmys. 

Christopher Walken Cooks a Chicken
Monday, September 21 by

Christopher Walken Cooks a Chicken – Watch more Movie Trailers "The way your Dad looked at it, this Stove Top stuffing was your birthright. He'd be damned if anybody else was gonna put his greasy hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. This chicken. Forty-five long minutes, he had this stuffing up this chicken. Then when he had to run out to the grocery store, he gave me the chicken to put in the oven. I kept this chicken in the oven for fifteen more minutes. Then, after letting it sit, I placed it in this serving dish. And now, little man, I give the stuffing to you."   These links belong on a gold watch, they do:  How To Keep An Office Romance A Secret (HolyTaco) TPS Monday Afternoon Quarterback (TotalProSports) 23 Uber Sexy Oktoberfest Photos (TheChive) Twilight Has Doomed Us All (FilmDrunk) 61 Greatest Emmy Cleavage Photos (Manofest) 5 Best Shows Looked Over By Emmy (Pajiba) J. Love Hewitt Airbrushed Skinny (CelebJihad) Five Excellent Moments With Tarantino (Unreality) 91-Year-Old Man Defends Home With Revolver (Asylum) ESPN Hires Bikini Model To Drive Fans Nuts (BustedCoverage) A College Girl's First Walk Of Shame (RegretfulMorning) Hottest Emmy Winners Of '09 (MadeMan) Why Your Driver Will Lose: Brian Vickers (AllLeftTurns) Asesinato In Mexican Subway Station (NothingToxic) Russell Brand Is Feeling Naughty (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, September 21st, 2009
Monday, September 21 by

The President of the United States stops by Letterman tonight to discuss Health Care Reform and to see a dog that can bark the alphabet. PLUS season premieres of your favorite shows. And Heroes. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘House’ Actress Jennifer Morrison
Monday, September 21 by

You may remember Jennifer Morrison from the two minutes she spent playing Captain Kirk's mommy in this past Summer's (today's the first day of Fall!) little indie Star Trek.  If you happened to miss her birthing scene because you were buying Sour Patch Kids, you can see her a lot more on House M.D., which premieres its 6th season tonight on FOX.  It looks like her character Cameron is going to marry Chase this year, which is interesting because those two were engaged in real life and broke it off right before the marriage.  Talk about conflict!  Let's hope some of the awkwardness shines through on screen.         A word from Jennifer: "This isn't technically the normal way that medicine works."Oh great!  Thanks for pulling back the curtain and revealing all the smoke and mirrors behind the magic of television.  You're such a party-pooper, Jennifer.  …But I'd still play doctor with you. Here are a few more pics of Jennifer after the jump that won't poop your party!

Obama’s Top Ten Lines on Letterman
Monday, September 21 by

 Tonight, President Obama will visit the Late Show with David Letterman, and is set to be the only guest (sorry if you got bumped). This is his sixth time on the show, but the first time back since his election, and the speculation is that he'll be using this appearance to talk about the future of health care in America.  So what exactly might be said during his hour on late night TV? We gave that a think over here at Screen Junkies, and in the grand tradition of Dave, came up with a Top Ten list of our own. So here it is, an entirely speculative list…  Top Ten Things Obama Might Say on Letterman 

2009 Emmy Winners
Monday, September 21 by

Neil Patrick Harris was the big winner last night at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards.  His hosting prowess tied together an abnormally great show, drawing this rave review from Jon Stewart, "These shows, we've all been to a lot of these, they usually suck. And you've been very good." Highlights from the night include Ricky Gervais dressing down The Office cast, a visit from Dr. Horrible, and some news that will have scifi geeks everywhere cheering — Michael Emerson finally won a statue for his portrayal of Ben on LOST. Here are the winners of the main categories. Full list and Dr. Horrible after the jump.   Drama Series Mad Men   Comedy Series 30 Rock   Lead Actress, Drama Glenn Close, Damages Lead Actress, Comedy Toni Collette, United States of Tara   Lead Actor, Comedy Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock   Lead Actor, Drama Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad   Supporting Actor, Drama Michael Emerson, LOST   Supporting Actor, Comedy Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men Supporting Actress, Drama Cherry Jones, 24 Supporting Actress, Comedy Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies   WWNPHD? He'd click these links…   Dick Cook's Disney ousting saddens Tinseltown (First Showing) Curb is back! (Gunaxin)Jennifer's Body eats it at the box office (Latino Review) Fantastic Mr. Fox character one sheets (IMP Awards) What to expect on Dollhouse Season Two (TV Squad)   CLICK TO SEE FULL LIST OF EMMY WINNERS

THE LATE SHOW w/ DAVID LETTERMAN
Sunday, September 20 by

Host: David Letterman Network: CBSTime: Weeknights 11:30pm-12:30am ET/PT

What’s On This Weekend: Friday, September 18th thru Sunday, September 20th
Friday, September 18 by

What to watch this weekend? The 61st I Couldn't Care Less Awards or a direct-to-DVD sequel to Waiting? Maybe I'll do the unthinkable and just read a book. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Greek’ Actress Tiffany Dupont
Friday, September 18 by

Let's just break the bad news right off the bat.  Tiffany Dupont, who stars as Frannie Morgan in Greek, loves Christianity bunches and bunches.  We're not saying there's anything wrong with being best friends with Jesus, but that likely means he's (He's?) putting the kibosh on sex until marriage, my friends.  Damn!  And I've got two strikes against me because A) we're not married and B) I'm as Jewish as the day (and the nose) is long.  She'd bring me home to the folks and they'd probably throw holy water at me.  Which would sting because on top of being Jewish I'm also a vampire.  Awww that's THREE strikes!       A word from Tiffany: "No, Mel Gibson was not involved."Yeah, that's what you think, Tiffany.  But chances are he's pulling those strings from a secret laboratory in his Malibu mansion.  Mel Gibson is always involved. Martin Riggs is probably even involved in these pics after the jump…

GREEK
Thursday, September 17 by

Network: ABC FamilyCast: Jacob Zachar, Jake McDorman, Spencer GrammerSynopsis: A Freshman arrives at his sisters college (much to her dismay). He decides to pledge a fraternity on campus. After catching his sister's boyfriend with another girl, he ends up at his rival fraternity trying to go from geek to Greek and grow up in the process.

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, September 17th, 2009
Thursday, September 17 by

NBC unveils its new Comedy Thursday, Survivor sends its castaways to certain death, your grandma gets some action, and Danny Devito is on the loose again. In other words, goodbye Summer. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Community’ Actress Gillian Jacobs
Thursday, September 17 by

Gillian Jacobs stars as Britta in the new sitcom Community, which starts tonight on the network that took away five blocks of scripted drama time so they could give Jay Leno his own show because they were afraid of losing his massive chin.  Anyway…the sexy blond plays opposite "Talk Soup" dude Joel McHale and, drum roll please…Chevy Chase!  That's right, folks, he's back!  I know this post is supposed to be about Gillian, but come on, Chevy Chase is back, and he's supposed to be funny again.  NBC should give HIM his own show five nights a week.  Oh wait, FOX already did that back in '93…  A word from Gillian: "I was actually watching a rerun the other day, and I was like, ‘I recognize that place! I've seen that swing before!'"Ah yes, the swing.  It brings back so many fond memories.  Memories of never having anyone to push you on it because you're a poor, ugly little orphan who's addicted to smack.  Thanks for ripping that one out of a deep, dark place, Gillian!Here's some pics after the jump that'll get you swingin'!

MTV Developing “Greg The Bunny” Spin-Off
Thursday, September 17 by

 MTV has announced they are developing a spin-off to one of our favorite cult shows, Greg the Bunny. The new series, Warren the Ape, focuses on Greg's puppet counterpart Warren T. Ape DeMontague as he attempts to pick up the tattered shreds of his acting career. Failing to win any roles, DeMontague agrees to appear on a reality show as a last ditch effort. He's just like Trishelle. Both will do anything for attention and neither mind having fists stuffed up their butts. (THR) These morning links have been translated from Puppish to English… Nicolas Cage suddenly cares about character in his portrayals. (Cinema Blend)Scarlett Johansson needs a date for the Iron Man 2 premiere. (Superhero Hype)Red band I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell trailer. (Trailer Addict)Mark Millar teases Kick Ass 2. (/Film)Josh Olsen and Harlan Ellison will not read your f***ing script. (Cinematical)Jay Chandrasekhar holds a Shotgun Wedding. (Pajiba)Ray Wise is joining Dollhouse. (TV Squad)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
Wednesday, September 16 by

Bikinis, babes, beaches, explosions, and multiple partners. Tonight's TV Preview is like Girls Gone Wild as directed by Michael Bay.  CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

COMMUNITY
Wednesday, September 16 by

Network: NBCCast: Joel McHale, Chevy Chase, Gillian Jacobs, Danny PudiProducers: Dan HarmonSynopsis: Focuses on a band of misfits, at the center of which is a fast-talkin' lawyer whose degree has been revoked, who form a study group and end up learning a lot more about themselves than they do about their course work.

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Nina Dobrev
Wednesday, September 16 by

Nina Dobrev stars as "Elena Gilbert" in the new show The Vampire Diaries, and guess what? Her character's in love with a vampire.  Dammit, what is wrong with women?!  Why do they find fanged bloodsuckers so damn attractive?  Twilight, True Blood, and now intimate journal entries on the subject.  Most of the girls I know don't even like hickeys on their necks, let alone pustulating fang punctures.  Fine, go fall in love with your vampire, Nina. Take the ridiculous ratings that come with it.  I'll cry salty tears like the mortal I am. Your new boyfriend is incapable of crying, you know.      A word from Nina: "There is something about a man who lurks in the dark."Way to invite the stalkers, Nina.  Like seriously, you can't say stuff like that because stalkers pay very close attention.  Then they pop out the dark, naked; you run away screaming; they get arrested and testify that you…ASKED FOR IT.  And they might have a case.Here's some more of what you're sure to ask for.  Pics after the jump!  

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
Tuesday, September 15 by

Network: CWCast: Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, Ian Somerhalder Producers: Kevin WilliamsonSynopsis: Two vampire brothers – one good, one evil – are at war for Elena's soul and for the souls of her friends, family and all the residents of the small town of Mystic Falls, Virginia.

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
Tuesday, September 15 by

Comedy Central dresses down Kanye, Lil Wayne makes zero sense, Shaq takes on an Olympic champ, and Tom Arnold makes a sex tape. We want to see tonight's programming far more than we do a Tom Arnold sex tape.   CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

What Crappy Gossip Girl Character R U?
Tuesday, September 15 by

  We here at Screen Junkies are aaaalllll about Gossip Girl. Big time. Like, completely into it.

“Glee” Actress Dianna Agron
Tuesday, September 15 by

Well would you get a load of those pearly whites…  Dianna Agron has a smile that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Plus she can sing and dance (as evidenced by her character Quinn in the new show Glee).  She's a singing, dancing, cheerleading, backstabbing wonder woman who just so happens to be 23 in real life.  I'd take her overHayden Panettiere anyday.  Hayden's character on Heroes may be able to heal herself, but what the hell is a healing factor when you can hit a high C note?! A word from Dianna: "I was really too ambitious for my own good." Well we've got a quote for you, Dianna.  "Ruthless ambition leads to its own destruction."  It comes from a little English rapper named Willy Shakes.  Take a lesson from MacBeth and don't murder your way to the top.  It never works out.  Trust us… Here's some pics after the jump that aren't a felony!  

JAY LENO SHOW
Tuesday, September 15 by

Jay Leno moves to the 10PM slot.

Kanye Apologizes On Leno
Tuesday, September 15 by

Kanye's VMA outburst rules the headlines again this morning as the rapper apologized on last night's premiere of The Jay Leno Show. To his credit, West faced the music and didn't cancel his scheduled appearance. Though that may be due to the fact that he was on to perform with Jay-Z and to back out would have upset his camp. West did seem sincere and got emotional when Leno shamed him by asking what his deceased mother would think of his behavior. And then Kevin Eubanks just chuckled out of the blue. That guy laughs at the most innappropriate moments. He's like Dr. Hibbard with a guitar.We apologize in advance for these morning links…Beyonce visits Zoobilee Zoo. (TV Squad)Watch the pilot episode of HBO's Bored To Death. (/Film)Basterd takes over for Nic Cage. (Superhero Hype)Comedian joins Red Dawn. (First Showing)Toy Story 3 teaser poster is sparse. (Latino Review)