Courtesy of Break.com So, apparently Time-Warner and Bright House have egregiously dropped FEARnet from their cable line-ups. If you're a subscriber to these services, you don't have to put on a mask and scare them into bringing FEARnet back. You can, but you'll probably get arrested or prosecuted, which is something monsters and serial killers never seem to consider. The responsible thing to do is to call your cable operator to convince them to bring FEARnet back. If you dial 1-877-FEAR-247, they'll connect you with your cable operator and you can let them know you want FEARnet (And be aware that for some customers, FEARnet is available on AT&T U-Verse and Verizon Fios). Feel free to breathe heavily on the line and tell Big Cable you're watching them… then slip back into your normal voice and sternly mention that you won't keep watching unless they bring FEARnet back. Mwahahahaha… And check out the list of upcoming titles on FEARnet that Time-Warner is currently missing out on… after the jump.
Tonight, we are offered a 3hr salute to a show that set the bar high for the numerous procedural hospital dramas to follow: There would be no George Clooney or more John Stamos if not for this show. It ends it's epic 15 season run tonight. An indispensable ER birth after the break.
Turk and Elliot are in for a long night at Sacred Heart. Between babysitting the interns and finding ways to care for their patients they take a moment to discuss the pros and cons of being doctors. The Rule of Todd
A new fad engulfs the town of South Park – queefing. All the men are disgusted and outraged and say that queefing is not the same at all as farting, which of course they do all the time. The new fad is prompted by a TV show called "The Queef Sisters" that gets Terrance and Phillip off the air. T&P aren't too pleased about this, and vow to do something about, but they end up finding the Queef Sisters much more charming than they had anticipated. It's a funny if a bit sub-par South Park this week, and it's after the jump.
Ben is in critical condition from the gunshot wound as everybody in the village runs in circles trying to figure out how to save him, save for one very stubborn doctor. We also get some Kate flashbacks in this episode, where we find out exactly what happened with her and Aaron. It’s all in this week’s Lost, after the jump.
Tonight's schedule is playing no jokes on you, just a slightly more foolish 'hump day' with another treatment of Lost, a shot of Scrubs, and a promise from South Park to cross the line yet again. Reno 911! also premieres with some fresh faces and probably an ample amount of short shorts. Your preview after the break.
Via The Playlist, Screen Junkies caught wind of ESPN's announcement that it will launch a program in the Fall called "30 for 30," a weekly hour-long series pairing famous filmmakers with sports subjects they care about. We can expect to see Barry Levinson cover the 1984 defection of the Baltimore Colts to Indy, and a Maysles' Bros. film about Muhammed Ali vs. Larry Holmes in '80, among others. Not all have been announced (including the subjects of films from Spike Lee and Richard Linklater), but ScreenJunkies wondered where this series could go…
Ozzy has come back with his family, 'reloaded' in the form of what looks to be the family venturing into Candid Camera and MadTV territory, with a dash of Nickelodeon goop. Also check out the 2 hr biography of America's favorite porn star. Your preview after the break.
Where You've Seen Her: AnnaLynne McCord, has made quite a name for herself (as confusingly spelled as it is) as Naomi on the CW's "90210." She also played Eden Lord on "Nip/Tuck" and can be seen in Fired Up and Day of the Dead. We recommend watching AnnaLynne fire a gun in the latter.AnnaLynne Says: “I know you fantasize about me while you're pumping away on little Miss Jenny Craig.”See photos of AnnaLynne after the jump!!!
Bauer's been exposed. The CDC all dressed in their HAZMAT suits take Bauer, and tell him to get undressed. The scarred and naked Bauer gets sprayed down and scrubbed by the team while they take some tests.Meanwhile, Almeida and the bioweapon are dropped in StarkWood via helicopter. Jonas tells his bioweapon specialist to hurry up on getting the darn thing activated, 'cause the Feds "are going to be coming with all they got." He then walks inside where Almeida is getting interrogated. He asks him about what the FBI knows about the weapon. Almeida stays strong. Then his top aide tells him that they should probably dispose of the weapon before the Govvies come in and expose them for everything they got. "I think you're just trying to save your ass!" Jonas says.The CDC tells Bauer that he has an airborne virus, and he orders them to deliver him as evidence to FBI.
Further evidence that TV never dissapoints: Tonight's offering includes a Heroes trip to Mexico (Spring Break woooo), a delousing of Jack Bauer (who's now got nothing to lose), and an important history lesson on awesomely brutal Roman war tactics (Caesar-style). Only complaint: not in 3D (3D rocks). Your preview after (the break).
Well, it was a short but fun run, that Eastbound & Down. The ballad of Kenny Powers was pretty much like a three hour-long movie broken up and strung out over six weeks. And like a good three-hour movie, it's bound to have a deleted scene or two, because anyone who attempts to make a three hour movie realizes at some point they have to cut something. Also, this is TV, so it has something called a time slot. Wait. It's not TV. It's HBO. Watch the deleted scene from this not-TV show or else, in the words of Kenny Powers, "You're f**kin' out!" It's after the jump.
Another week gone by, another meth addled story of lies and close scrapes for our two favorite kingpins. “Hey Captain America”, says a bum to Jesse as he is walking into a convenience store to meet up with Walt. Walt and Jesse decide they are going to have to put cooking on hold for a little bit while Walt’s family gets less suspicious. So Walt tries to be sweet and get on Skyler’s good side. He cooks them breakfast but Skyler is skeptical, as usual. Next, Walter reps Boz Skaggs as one of the best musicians of all time, maybe he’s been getting high on his own supply. While cleaning up, Walt attempts to cover up the his second cell phone. Skyler, though, is unimpressed and storms out to Walt’s dismay. Meanwhile Jesse’s parents have wised up to his drug trafficking ways. So they decide to evict him from his house which they have the property rights to. Jesse’s got 72 hours to get out.
Panthers are going to State in ’08! What a magical week it was in Dillon, Texas, for fans of the Blue and Yellow. Emotions ran high because of twists around every bend. Grandma Saracen took a spill out of her car as she was backing out of the driveway and it became clear no amount of personal supervision would protect her from herself. The Garrity family finally broke down after hanging by a thread for so long, and it may or may not recover. That wasn’t the only thing on Buddy’s plate, as the boosters had to contend with a redistricting plan that might dismantle the powerhouse football team in the name of a better education for the children. Landry and the Collettes finally made amends, and it seemed as though the seeds for a Landry-Tyra reunion tour were planted. JD and his father, Joe, went through their growing pains, as JD came into his own and started making decisions for himself. This week was a return to form for Friday Night Lights as a TV show and for the Panthers as a football team, as they survived to fight another day.
With the deaths of loved ones behind them, the Connor crew split up. Sarah and John take refuge with an old friend, while Derek and Cameron take a moment away from each other’s throats and point their guns in the same direction. Del Monte Sarah packs some bags and thinks back to when John was a child. His favorite stories were his mother’s jungle stories, particularly the tale of El Viejo Del Monte: Old Man of the Forest. Del Monte was a hunter condemned to the jungle for all eternity. As his story goes he would kill every animal he encountered but not to feed on their meat, or warm himself with their furs. Instead, he would leave his prey to rot. His lust for blood was his mark, and each carcass he left behind was a lesson to those who crosses it explaining what God had turned Del Monte into: half man, half animal. Some considered him a protector for he preyed upon predators. It was his curse to be vigilant forever.
Padma Lakshmi, she of TV's Top Chef and Salman Rusdie-marrying fame, has apparently become the spokesmodel for Hardee's Bacon Western Thickburger, which is going to make a lot of men happy and a lot of normal women hate themselves more than they already do. In her new commercial, Padma sits on the stoop of an NYC brownstone and proceeds to eat the beefy burger in ways that would make a a devout Hindu eunuch sport wood. See the full commercial – and more pics of Padma – after the jump. And if you're a normal woman hating yourself right now, don't feel too bad. I'm sure Padma had her seven personal trainers with spit buckets standing just off-camera for the entire shoot.
Even though there's a hole in our hearts that BSG used to fill, there's plenty of excellent TV packing your weekend schedule with a wdie array of entertainment ranging from Jackass inspired hillbillies to a 'King Baby.' New episodes of Friday Night Lights, Terminator:TSCC, and Breaking Bad are on their regular schedule, with the series premiere of the Thrillbillies and some stand-up hilarity from Mr. Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central. So quit moping about the end of Battlestar and go get obsessed with any or all these termendous shows! Your preview after the break.
This episode begins with Liz unpacking her new running shoes. Jack calls Liz and tells her she is yet to RSVP to his 50th birthday party. Meanwhile, on television, Tracy is announcing to the world that it is his dream to go into space. He will finance the trip if anyone is willing to shoot him into space. Liz has to deal with this, pronto. Dennis Duffy suddenly bursts into Liz’s apartment and tells her that he is going through a 12 step program. He is a recovering sex addict. He is at step nine, the step where he needs to apologize to everybody he has wronged. Side note: For all you Seinfeld fans, you know step nine. Dennis apologizes to Liz for sleeping with her, thus subjecting her to his web of treachery. Liz doesn’t care, she just wants Dennis out of the room. Liz asks Jack if he knows about Tracy trying to get into space. Jack says he has a google alert for everything titled “Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster”. They have to stop him.
Since Michael's turned in his two weeks he can basically do anything he wants, so he he spends his days drinking scotch and splenda and wandering arund the office bugging everyone. He also comes up with an idea for a new business once he actually quits, and goes around the office trying to find investors for it. Meanwhile, Kelly and Angela are still obsessed with Charles, and Pam has to figure out how to make the new copier work, all after the jump
Well, whether you like it or not, the Osbournes are back…with a variety show on FOX. Pretty random, and dare I say unecessary? Check out the the fam tonight as they guest on Jimmy Kimmel. Other than that, it's another solid Thursday night of comedy with The Office and 30 Rock. Your preview after the break.
South Park is getting by the economic crisis just like the rest of the country, only in South Park Randy Marsh rises up as a prophet warning people that they have angered the economy. Stan has to find a way to return the frivolous Margaritaville machine his dad bought, and Kyle starts trouble by breaching the economy is not a dangerous entity to be feared. It's another great South Park this season, and it's right after the jump
In a Sayid-centric episode, we learn more of the details behind how exactly he got on that flight and why exactly he stopped working for Ben. He also befriends a young Ben Linus in 1977, and Juliette, Kate, and Sawyer experience a little bit of awkwardness over the whole love triangle. (Or love square if you count Jack). It's another pretty good Lost, right after the jump.
J.D. rides a high horse and the new interns get an idea of what it means to work at Sacred Heart.
Tonight's another wizzbang night of Wednesday TV. J.D. finally gets props from Dr. Cox on Scrubs, somebody on the island goes rogue, South Park comments on the financial crisis, and Demetri Martin concludes the first season of his show. Your preview after the break.
One of the most timeless TV characters has to be the little boy in the orange hooded sweatshirt Kenny McCormick, constantly beset by death in any number of ways, whether it be a bitten off-head, sliced in half, or a dreaded STD. And through it all, Parker and Stone have constantly innovated the way this unfortunate youngster kicks the bucket, never once letting the joke become stale or boring or predictable. They structured a movie plot around him, actually killed him for an entire season, then let at least one full season pass by without his death. Nowadays you always look forward to a Kenny death, and it’s in honor of this immortal/mortal little boy that Screen Junkies presents to you the most inventive Kenny deaths of all time.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine mentioning Barack Obama and Limp Bizkit in the same breath, (Try saying Limp Obama Bizkits and tell me it's not fun) but here we are. Pres. Obama is giving another channel hogging Press Conference about toxicity and assets and such. But switch it over to Snoop, he's got the guys from 'Bizkit' talking about their long awaited reunion tour. More nookie after the break.
The cops are at Senator Blaine Mayer's house collecting evidence, but Moss doesn't need any evidence, he concludes that Bauer's the culprit. He calls up Ethan Kanin. "It's Sentor Mayer, he's dead.""What?!?!" Kanin replies. Kanin, flabbergasted at what has happened hangs up the phone and slumps in his chair.President Taylor calls up her husband, who is awake and seemingly doing alright. She tells him that Juma and Dubaku are dead, that everything's over, and that Olivia has joined the staff. The first man is relieved. They hang up.Kanin walks in. "He's expected to make a full recover! Maybe, just maybe this day will end on a positive note," says President Taylor.Yeah right.Kanin tells the President that Senator Mayer has been apparently slain by Bauer. President Taylor can't believe it. Then Kanin says that he has to step down because he couldn't do enough to protect the President from the shitstorm that happened only a few hours ago."I'm a liability to you now…don't let me sink your agenda.""OUR agenda, Ethan…"
Danko receives a little present from an anonymous donor, the gift being Eric Doyle the puppet master, and Rebel is up to some more antics as his identity is revealed and Tracy has to make a choice on whether she will betray Rebel or not. Parkman has to find a way to save Daphne, and Hiro and Ando discover that baby Matt has powers. Claire is blessedly absent this episode, and we get some juicy screentime from a neglected character: Angela Petrelli. It’s a thrilling return to form for Heroes, and it’s right after the jump.
Well, Battlestar Galactica is over and done with (read Jim Connelly's tear-jerking eulogy here), but Universal and the newly re-branded Syfy Network have already begun bombarding us with shrapnel made in Caprica. Here's one of the clips. Check out the other six after the jump!