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‘Men of a Certain Age’ Actress Carla Gallo
Monday, December 28 by

Carla Gallo starred in Judd Apatow's short-lived sitcom Undeclared, and has popped up in most of his films ever since. She sucked Steve Carell's toes in The 40 Year Old Virgin and got awkwardly banged by Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  She can now be seen serving Scott Bakula his coffee in Men of a Certain Age.A word from Carla: "The minute I get home I change into a pair of pink Juicy bottoms I bought 5 years ago. Daily. Not kidding. They smell like the CEO of HBO's jizz." When you walk around with JUICY tagged across your ass, the CEO of HBO is bound to take it literally.Check out some more JUICY photos of Carla after the jump.

Kim Kardashian Sells Carl’s Jr. Chicken Salad, Boobs
Monday, December 28 by

Kim Kardashian Carls Jr. Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosIt was only a matter of time until this happened. Kim Kardashian has gone and sold another piece of her soul by starring in a Carl's Jr. fast food exploitation advertisment, and I'm not complaining the tiniest bit. Give that grilled chicken walnut leafy thing all you got, Kim. Then think about what you've done in a nice warm bubble bath while you continue indulging. Damn, I just got dressing all over my desk. 

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
Wednesday, December 23 by

Tonight, Jessica Simpson's cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Ricky Gervais Torments Elmo
Wednesday, December 23 by

Recently Sesame Street's Elmo was having a really hard time falling asleep (you would too if you had a hand shoved up your poop-shoot). Luckily, the unbelievably famous Ricky Gervais broke into the young Muppet's bedroom to assist with a "Celebrity Lullaby." To coax Elmo off to Dreamland, Gervais decided to serenade him about the letter "N" and all the words you can spell with it. Words like, Nap, Nightcap, Nummies, and Naff off you insufferable little sh*t. Gervais doesn't come right out and say that but you can tell he wants to. Between this and their earlier insult-laden video, the tension between them is so thick. Hurry up and bang already, you two. Everyone knows you want it.

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
Tuesday, December 22 by

 Tonight, join Carrie Underwood as she warms your yule log. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 21st, 2009
Monday, December 21 by

Tonight on TV, dwarves make chocolate, Tom Hanks abducts kids, and Spring Breakers use their vaginas to save their favorite bar.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

SNL ‘Twizzle Wizzle’ Digital Short is Awesomely Disturbing
Monday, December 21 by

I have to admit I don't watch Saturday Night Live much these days, but I do enjoy me a hilarious digital short every now and then. I feel like the Andy Samberg shorts are on a totally different level than the rest of the show. His heightened and irreverent humor always shines through, and he seems to get away with a ton of sh*t that never succeeds in the live skits. The Twizzle Wizzle short below is no exception. Imagine if The Wiggles did on television what I'm sure they do when they go back to their homes every night. Forced happiness wears on a person…

Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart All But Beg to Be Auto Tuned
Saturday, December 19 by

Those who have long underestimated our TV Culinary Personalities had best to check themselves. It's widely known that Chef Julia Childs once killed a man via headbutt, and Rachel Ray… she just seems like she'd cut a bitch. Now, Martha Stewart has raised her street cred by baking with Snoop Dogg on yesterday's episode of Martha. Watch as Snoop Dizzle and M. Stizzle rap about the special ingredient missing from their brownies.  Snoop Dogg will do anything to be on television. The countdown to his eventual Yo Gabba Gabba! appearance begins NOW. (via NY Mag)AUTHOR'S NOTE: Holy sh*t!!!

Jack Bauer Has a Few Questions for Santa Claus
Friday, December 18 by

Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa Claus – Watch more Funny Videos It was only a matter of time before Jack Bauer demanded a sitdown with Santa. You can't expect to land on people's roofs all night and break into their homes without CTU getting a whiff of reindeer poop. But is it Jack who's naughty, Santa? Or is it you? Put that perplexing thought in your candycane pipe and smoke it.

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 18th – Sunday, December 20th, 2009
Friday, December 18 by

This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Time Warner Cable Could Take Away Your FOX
Friday, December 18 by

Look what you're doing to Jack Bauer, Time Warner Cable and FOX! He's whimpering! You've made Mr. 24 himself whimper. For shaaaaaaame.FOX said today that due to a back and forth bitchfest with Time Warner Cable, customers may be unable to see FOX programming next year. That includes House, 24, and American Idol (if you care about singing competitions). According to The Hollywood Reporter:Fox said it has for the past nine months attempted to "negotiate in good faith" with Time Warner Cable, the No. 2 U.S. cable operator, which serves some 14 million customers, and said those talks are ongoing.But there is a "very likely possibility that Time Warner Cable may choose to no longer carry Fox Broadcasting, Fox Cable and Fox regional sports programing," Fox said.Time Warner Cable confirmed that the talks are ongoing but said Fox's current demands "are unreasonable and excessive, especially in this economic climate.""We hope Fox won't punish our customers by taking their programing away while we try to reach an agreement," said spokeswoman Maureen Huff.Hey Time Warner, how about YOU don't punish your customers by pulling the plug on my House stories that I look forward to every week? Nine months should be long enough for two entities to figure out who pisses better. Come up with a number, reach an agreement, and let's get this thing done. The world wants to see Ellen DeGeneres and Simon Cowell fight about the Idol contestants' sexual orientation this Spring!

Pamela Anderson Covered in “Cream”
Thursday, December 17 by

Do you really need more than the headline to press play? Warming Glow found this ad for CrazyDomain and it features Pamela Anderson with another hot chick in bikinis covered in cream. For God's sake, hit play already!These links taste better with some cream on top.Flowchart to Determine if You've Been Naughty or Nice (HolyTaco) Fearless Photographer Snaps Drag Car Crash (TotalProSports) Behind the Scenes with Marissa Miller (TheChive) Hottest Bosses from Movies (Maxim) How Old Dogs Saved Christmas (FilmDrunk) 13 Amazing Caucasian Afros (SuperTremendous) 20 Best Films of the Aughts (Pajiba) Spicy Rihanna Pictures in GQ (CelebJihad) Shaun of the Dead Reunion Photoshoot (Unreality) Tiger Woods Syndrome is Making Wives Suspicious (Asylum) Emily Scott FHM Russia January 2010 (BustedCoverage) 5 Ways to Tip the Pizza Guy if You're Broke (RegretfulMorning) How to Win Any Board Game (MadeMan) This Man Sounds Like an Engine (AllLeftTurns)

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 17th, 2009
Thursday, December 17 by

Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Jersey Shore’ Performs the Story of Christmas on ‘Jimmy Kimmel’, Camel Eats Baby Jesus
Thursday, December 17 by

Snookie, "The Situation", and Pauly D. from Jersey Shore played The Three Wise Men last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live in a reenactment of The Story of Christmas. It was clear from their performance that "The Situation" still has sick abs, Snookie can't pronounce words correctly, and camels have a taste for Messiah flesh. No one really cares about Pauly D. He should probably assault someone. Jersey Shore Performs the Story of Christmas – Watch more Funny Videos

Snookie, “The Situation” and Conan “The Solution” O’Brien
Wednesday, December 16 by

Last night, Snookie and "The Situation" from MTV's the Jersey Shore were "guests" on The Tonight Show. I say guests with a twinge of sarcasm because it wouldn't be unlikely for the two emotional Guidos to crash the talk show, get pissed off that the deli meat tray in the green room didn't have any capicola, and then strut out to the couch to provide Conan with a nick name of his very own. Also, they talk about abdominal muscles.Use these links to work your core.7 Beers That Sound Expensive But Aren't (HolyTaco) Devin Harris Drops Jamario Moon (TotalProSports) Putting the Tail in Tailgating (TheChive) The Time James Cameron Almost Drowned (FilmDrunk) 8 Crappy Christmas Gifts You Wanted (Maxim) 10 Greatest Upskirt Moments in TV History (Manofest) Best Action Flicks of the Aughts (Pajiba) Kourtney Kardashian's Baby Enters Rehab (CelebJihad) The Evolution of Mario (Unreality) Two Dudes Who Have Actually Never Seen Porn (Asylum) Really Hot Italian Track Star/Model (BustedCoverage) Snowplow vs. Snowmen (RegretfulMorning) 5 Romantic Winter Getaways to Get Some (MadeMan) Rick Hendrick is the Godfather (AllLeftTurns) Enormous Chair Throwing Brawl Erupts (NothingToxic) Animated Christmas Specials Remixed (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 17th, 2009
Wednesday, December 16 by

Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘LOST’ 3 Hour Series Finale Leaves Time for Answers
Wednesday, December 16 by

We all assumed that the Lost series finale would be big but according to Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse it's going to be gimungo. Okay, they didn't use that exact term. Here's what they had to say:"Season 6 will consist of a two-hour season premiere, 13 episodes and a three-hour series finale that will air over two weeks."Is it really a finale if it splits over two weeks? It's more or less the same thing they've been doing every season. Man, season six hasn't even begun yet and they're already jerking us around. I'm so frustrated and feel like I learned to read hieroglyphics for nothing! (via Chicago Tribune)

‘Justified’ Preview Delivers a Southern Style Ass Whoopin’
Wednesday, December 16 by

FX rocks so hard. Almost every show on the network kicks serious ass. Of course there are a few duds, but compared to most networks (which cancel more shows than they keep) FX has a seriously impressive homerun average. Their new series Justified starring Timothy Olyphant looks like another edgy, dirty, whiskey-scented project to add to the roster. Here's the official synopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service. That conflict results in a reassignment for Givens to the U.S. District covering the town where he grew up. He is an anachronism – a tough, soft spoken gentleman who finds his quarry fascinating, but never gives an inch. Dig under his placid skin and you'll find an angry man who grew up hard in rural Kentucky, with an outlaw father, who knows a lot more about who he doesn't want to be than who he really is.  Look at all that conflict! Not to mention, Walton Goggins, who played Shane on The Shield, stars as a church-bombing, redneck hick. It's the part he was born to play! Justified premieres in March on FX. Check out the preview after the jump.

JUSTIFIED
Wednesday, December 16 by

Network: FXCreator: Graham YostCast: Timothy Olyphant, Walton Goggins, Jeffrey JonesSynopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service.

‘Cougar Town’ Actress Christa Miller
Wednesday, December 16 by

Long hailed as the only attractive being on The Drew Carey Show and as the tough ex-wife of John C. McGinley's character on Scrubs, Christa Miller has won her way into America's heart, or at least Americans who watched those shows. She can now be seen as Courteney Cox's bitchy neighbor friend on Cougar Town, a show created by her husband Bill Lawrence.A word from Christa: "A modern mom is someone who can organize all the many, many elements of family life, career and marriage and have the stamina to keep it all going."Sing it, sister! And I assume sex is part of the whole marriage thing? Make sure you have enough stamina for that or else hubby get angry and smash things. Use the pics after the jump to keep your stamina up.

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Tuesday, December 15 by

If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 14th, 2009
Monday, December 14 by

Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Men of a Certain Age’ Actress Patricia De Leon
Monday, December 14 by

After being crowned Miss Panama (1995), Patricia De Leon's career started blossoming, getting breaks hosting Corte del Juez Franco on Azteca TV (a break?), and the Billboard Latino. From her work on Univision, Patricia snatched roles on American TV, including, Lincoln Heights, Cold Case, and Crossing Jordan. Now she's Ray Romano's dream girl on Men of a Certain Age. She's my dream girl in my dreams.A word from Patricia: "I'm Latina."I can see that. Thank you for being Latina, and a damn sexy one at that.Check out more pics of the Latina after the jump.

MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE
Monday, December 14 by

Network: TNTCreators: Ray Romano & Mike RoyceCast: Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, Andre BraugherSynopsis: A group of college buddies keep their friendship going long after they've graduated.

MTV Casts ‘Teen Wolf’ Pilot
Monday, December 14 by

Thanks to the maximum abage in New Moon and ironic t-shirts, werewolves are so hot right now. MTV knows this and they're getting in on the trend with their bastardization reimagining of Teen Wolf. Now we have word of the show's casting. Tyler Posey, Tyler Hoechlin, Crystal Reed and Dylan O'Brien have been cast in the pilot written by Jeff Davis (Criminal Minds). Posey will play a high school dork who develops bizarre transformative powers after being attacked by a wolf. O'Brien is playing his best friend and Reed will play the hot piece barking for his bone. Seventh Heaven's Hoechlin is signed on to play a d*ckhead/evil werewolf. That's all well and good for them but what of Teen Wolf Pug? He should have nailed it in auditions.That's it, fatboy. I'm getting you into the gym. You clearly don't have the abs to be a star… yet. (THR)

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 11th – Sunday, December 13th, 2009
Friday, December 11 by

 My eyes are up here, kid.This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Dexter’ Actress Courtney Ford
Friday, December 11 by

Courtney Ford is one hot little number. She's been starring as reporter Christine in this season of Dexter, and she's been nakey a lot of the time. Niiiice. She's also married to Superman Brandon Routh, but I don't think anyone's intimated by that.A word from Courtney: "Oh my gosh, I hear theories every day!"Me too! Let's get together to discuss them. Drinks then dinner? Pick you up at 7? Lock Superman in a closet or something. 

No Third Season for HBO’s ‘Flight of the Conchords’
Friday, December 11 by

Bad news, nerdy guys. You won't have any new Flight of the Conchords songs to sing-along to in a failed effort to impress girls anytime soon. The New Zealand folk duo have announced that this past season of their HBO show will not be followed by a third. The show had grown too difficult to produce with the pressures of writing multiple original songs per episode. Though they are still expected to record albums, there is no word on when those may be released. So, sorry fellas. Looks like you're going to have to rely on Lonely Island to get you almost laid for the foreseeable future. (via Reuters)

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 10th, 2009
Thursday, December 10 by

Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘LOST’ Season Five Bloopers are Silly
Wednesday, December 9 by

Lost Season 5 Bloopers – Watch more Funny VideosThe LOST characters should spend less time joking around and more time figuring out why the f*ck they're on that island. The final season drops February 2nd on ABC. These links drop right now. Flowchart to Determine What Holiday to Celebrate (HolyTaco) Norwegian Goalie Makes Amazing Goal-Line Save (TotalProSports) Camouflage Can't Hide Stupidity (TheChive) 15 Freakishly Large Babies (SuperTremendous) I Want to F You With a Cobra (FilmDrunk) The Greatest Love Stories of the Aughts (Pajiba) Team Edward's Starting Left Tackle Injured (CelebJihad) A Literal A to Z List of CGI Movie Characters (Unreality) Cheech & Chong Blaze a New Trail (Asylum) Tennessee Using Tail to Attract Football Recruits? (BustedCoverage) Coffee That'll Wake You the F Up (RegretfulMorning) What Does Your Headache Mean? (MadeMan) Google Satellite and Sprint Cup Teams (AllLeftTurns) Russian Car Accident Turns to Fistfight (NothingToxic) Hanukkah is a Time for Sharing (Atom)