Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa Claus – Watch more Funny Videos It was only a matter of time before Jack Bauer demanded a sitdown with Santa. You can't expect to land on people's roofs all night and break into their homes without CTU getting a whiff of reindeer poop. But is it Jack who's naughty, Santa? Or is it you? Put that perplexing thought in your candycane pipe and smoke it.
This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Look what you're doing to Jack Bauer, Time Warner Cable and FOX! He's whimpering! You've made Mr. 24 himself whimper. For shaaaaaaame.FOX said today that due to a back and forth bitchfest with Time Warner Cable, customers may be unable to see FOX programming next year. That includes House, 24, and American Idol (if you care about singing competitions). According to The Hollywood Reporter:Fox said it has for the past nine months attempted to "negotiate in good faith" with Time Warner Cable, the No. 2 U.S. cable operator, which serves some 14 million customers, and said those talks are ongoing.But there is a "very likely possibility that Time Warner Cable may choose to no longer carry Fox Broadcasting, Fox Cable and Fox regional sports programing," Fox said.Time Warner Cable confirmed that the talks are ongoing but said Fox's current demands "are unreasonable and excessive, especially in this economic climate.""We hope Fox won't punish our customers by taking their programing away while we try to reach an agreement," said spokeswoman Maureen Huff.Hey Time Warner, how about YOU don't punish your customers by pulling the plug on my House stories that I look forward to every week? Nine months should be long enough for two entities to figure out who pisses better. Come up with a number, reach an agreement, and let's get this thing done. The world wants to see Ellen DeGeneres and Simon Cowell fight about the Idol contestants' sexual orientation this Spring!
Do you really need more than the headline to press play? Warming Glow found this ad for CrazyDomain and it features Pamela Anderson with another hot chick in bikinis covered in cream. For God's sake, hit play already!These links taste better with some cream on top.Flowchart to Determine if You've Been Naughty or Nice (HolyTaco) Fearless Photographer Snaps Drag Car Crash (TotalProSports) Behind the Scenes with Marissa Miller (TheChive) Hottest Bosses from Movies (Maxim) How Old Dogs Saved Christmas (FilmDrunk) 13 Amazing Caucasian Afros (SuperTremendous) 20 Best Films of the Aughts (Pajiba) Spicy Rihanna Pictures in GQ (CelebJihad) Shaun of the Dead Reunion Photoshoot (Unreality) Tiger Woods Syndrome is Making Wives Suspicious (Asylum) Emily Scott FHM Russia January 2010 (BustedCoverage) 5 Ways to Tip the Pizza Guy if You're Broke (RegretfulMorning) How to Win Any Board Game (MadeMan) This Man Sounds Like an Engine (AllLeftTurns)
Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Snookie, "The Situation", and Pauly D. from Jersey Shore played The Three Wise Men last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live in a reenactment of The Story of Christmas. It was clear from their performance that "The Situation" still has sick abs, Snookie can't pronounce words correctly, and camels have a taste for Messiah flesh. No one really cares about Pauly D. He should probably assault someone. Jersey Shore Performs the Story of Christmas – Watch more Funny Videos
Last night, Snookie and "The Situation" from MTV's the Jersey Shore were "guests" on The Tonight Show. I say guests with a twinge of sarcasm because it wouldn't be unlikely for the two emotional Guidos to crash the talk show, get pissed off that the deli meat tray in the green room didn't have any capicola, and then strut out to the couch to provide Conan with a nick name of his very own. Also, they talk about abdominal muscles.Use these links to work your core.7 Beers That Sound Expensive But Aren't (HolyTaco) Devin Harris Drops Jamario Moon (TotalProSports) Putting the Tail in Tailgating (TheChive) The Time James Cameron Almost Drowned (FilmDrunk) 8 Crappy Christmas Gifts You Wanted (Maxim) 10 Greatest Upskirt Moments in TV History (Manofest) Best Action Flicks of the Aughts (Pajiba) Kourtney Kardashian's Baby Enters Rehab (CelebJihad) The Evolution of Mario (Unreality) Two Dudes Who Have Actually Never Seen Porn (Asylum) Really Hot Italian Track Star/Model (BustedCoverage) Snowplow vs. Snowmen (RegretfulMorning) 5 Romantic Winter Getaways to Get Some (MadeMan) Rick Hendrick is the Godfather (AllLeftTurns) Enormous Chair Throwing Brawl Erupts (NothingToxic) Animated Christmas Specials Remixed (Atom)
Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
We all assumed that the Lost series finale would be big but according to Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse it's going to be gimungo. Okay, they didn't use that exact term. Here's what they had to say:"Season 6 will consist of a two-hour season premiere, 13 episodes and a three-hour series finale that will air over two weeks."Is it really a finale if it splits over two weeks? It's more or less the same thing they've been doing every season. Man, season six hasn't even begun yet and they're already jerking us around. I'm so frustrated and feel like I learned to read hieroglyphics for nothing! (via Chicago Tribune)
FX rocks so hard. Almost every show on the network kicks serious ass. Of course there are a few duds, but compared to most networks (which cancel more shows than they keep) FX has a seriously impressive homerun average. Their new series Justified starring Timothy Olyphant looks like another edgy, dirty, whiskey-scented project to add to the roster. Here's the official synopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service. That conflict results in a reassignment for Givens to the U.S. District covering the town where he grew up. He is an anachronism – a tough, soft spoken gentleman who finds his quarry fascinating, but never gives an inch. Dig under his placid skin and you'll find an angry man who grew up hard in rural Kentucky, with an outlaw father, who knows a lot more about who he doesn't want to be than who he really is. Look at all that conflict! Not to mention, Walton Goggins, who played Shane on The Shield, stars as a church-bombing, redneck hick. It's the part he was born to play! Justified premieres in March on FX. Check out the preview after the jump.
Network: FXCreator: Graham YostCast: Timothy Olyphant, Walton Goggins, Jeffrey JonesSynopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service.
Long hailed as the only attractive being on The Drew Carey Show and as the tough ex-wife of John C. McGinley's character on Scrubs, Christa Miller has won her way into America's heart, or at least Americans who watched those shows. She can now be seen as Courteney Cox's bitchy neighbor friend on Cougar Town, a show created by her husband Bill Lawrence.A word from Christa: "A modern mom is someone who can organize all the many, many elements of family life, career and marriage and have the stamina to keep it all going."Sing it, sister! And I assume sex is part of the whole marriage thing? Make sure you have enough stamina for that or else hubby get angry and smash things. Use the pics after the jump to keep your stamina up.
If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
After being crowned Miss Panama (1995), Patricia De Leon's career started blossoming, getting breaks hosting Corte del Juez Franco on Azteca TV (a break?), and the Billboard Latino. From her work on Univision, Patricia snatched roles on American TV, including, Lincoln Heights, Cold Case, and Crossing Jordan. Now she's Ray Romano's dream girl on Men of a Certain Age. She's my dream girl in my dreams.A word from Patricia: "I'm Latina."I can see that. Thank you for being Latina, and a damn sexy one at that.Check out more pics of the Latina after the jump.
Network: TNTCreators: Ray Romano & Mike RoyceCast: Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, Andre BraugherSynopsis: A group of college buddies keep their friendship going long after they've graduated.
Thanks to the maximum abage in New Moon and ironic t-shirts, werewolves are so hot right now. MTV knows this and they're getting in on the trend with their bastardization reimagining of Teen Wolf. Now we have word of the show's casting. Tyler Posey, Tyler Hoechlin, Crystal Reed and Dylan O'Brien have been cast in the pilot written by Jeff Davis (Criminal Minds). Posey will play a high school dork who develops bizarre transformative powers after being attacked by a wolf. O'Brien is playing his best friend and Reed will play the hot piece barking for his bone. Seventh Heaven's Hoechlin is signed on to play a d*ckhead/evil werewolf. That's all well and good for them but what of Teen Wolf Pug? He should have nailed it in auditions.That's it, fatboy. I'm getting you into the gym. You clearly don't have the abs to be a star… yet. (THR)
My eyes are up here, kid.This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Courtney Ford is one hot little number. She's been starring as reporter Christine in this season of Dexter, and she's been nakey a lot of the time. Niiiice. She's also married to Superman Brandon Routh, but I don't think anyone's intimated by that.A word from Courtney: "Oh my gosh, I hear theories every day!"Me too! Let's get together to discuss them. Drinks then dinner? Pick you up at 7? Lock Superman in a closet or something.
Bad news, nerdy guys. You won't have any new Flight of the Conchords songs to sing-along to in a failed effort to impress girls anytime soon. The New Zealand folk duo have announced that this past season of their HBO show will not be followed by a third. The show had grown too difficult to produce with the pressures of writing multiple original songs per episode. Though they are still expected to record albums, there is no word on when those may be released. So, sorry fellas. Looks like you're going to have to rely on Lonely Island to get you almost laid for the foreseeable future. (via Reuters)
Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Lost Season 5 Bloopers – Watch more Funny VideosThe LOST characters should spend less time joking around and more time figuring out why the f*ck they're on that island. The final season drops February 2nd on ABC. These links drop right now. Flowchart to Determine What Holiday to Celebrate (HolyTaco) Norwegian Goalie Makes Amazing Goal-Line Save (TotalProSports) Camouflage Can't Hide Stupidity (TheChive) 15 Freakishly Large Babies (SuperTremendous) I Want to F You With a Cobra (FilmDrunk) The Greatest Love Stories of the Aughts (Pajiba) Team Edward's Starting Left Tackle Injured (CelebJihad) A Literal A to Z List of CGI Movie Characters (Unreality) Cheech & Chong Blaze a New Trail (Asylum) Tennessee Using Tail to Attract Football Recruits? (BustedCoverage) Coffee That'll Wake You the F Up (RegretfulMorning) What Does Your Headache Mean? (MadeMan) Google Satellite and Sprint Cup Teams (AllLeftTurns) Russian Car Accident Turns to Fistfight (NothingToxic) Hanukkah is a Time for Sharing (Atom)
Bobby Bottleservice – Jersey Shore Audition Tape – watch more funny videosBobby Bottleservice (the hilarious Nick Kroll) is back, and he's trying to claim his rightful place in the inevitable second season of Jersey Shore on MTV. With Bobby B as one of the tenants, the house will be more Guidorrific than ever. He'll bring his hair gel, Cadillac, and sloppy grammar to the party, and the overly tan dwarf ladies will eat it up like a big plate of gabagoolooka (my made up Italian deli meat).
Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
MTV's Jersey Shore is getting A LOT of negative attention, which is a shame because as I have stated on a few occasions that it is a solid show, an important show. In addition to numerous catchphrases they have now given us a piece of footage more compelling than the Zapruder Film. Watch in wild wonder as a drunken Seaside bar patron fist pumps directly into pint-sized castmember Snooki's face: Bada-bing. Bada-BOOM! That. Is. Horrifying. Did you see the absent look in the assailant's eyes? It's as if he was under mind control a la The Manchurian Candidate. Did Chris Brown install that Naked Gun chip in his brain? We would ask Snooki but she isn't slated to wake up until February. And it should be known that Screen Junkies doesn't advocate this kind of violence. If someone offends you, tell them to shut their stupid face. You don't hit. You punch with your words. Unless it's a douchebag. Then you rail on him.
Courteney Cox is 45 and still smokin' hot. There's something about dark hair and piercing blue eyes that makes me feel all funny in my nether regions. You can currently see Courteney playing the appropriate role of a cougar in Cougar Town on ABC. A word from Courteney: "I don't think I'm too thin at all. I understand when people say, 'Well your face gets gaunt."Don't listen to them, Cox! You're beau–hehehe. Cox…Check out more maturely hot pics after the jump.
Network: MTVSynopsis: Guidos and Guidettes move into the ultimate beach house rental and indulge in everything the Seaside Heights, New Jersey scene has to offer: hair gel and Cadillacs.
Network: ABCCreators: Kevin Biegel & Bill LawrenceCast: Courteney Cox, Christa Miller, Busy PhilippsSynopsis: A recently divorced woman decides to find some excitement in her dating life.
Tonight on TV, people who make love to their cars.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
Sarah Chalke was dubbed Second Becky on Roseanne, having replaced the first Becky several seasons in, but she's better known for her role as shrieky Dr. Elliot Reid on Scrubs. She's got a hot bod, but apparently she's all pregnant now. Laaaame. A word from Sarah: "I don't just play a slut on TV, I am a slut."Did I mention Sarah is pregnant?Check out some more slutty pics after the jump.