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Matthew McConaughey is Alllllllright with Animation
Monday, November 30 by

Matthew McConaughey needs to get his core in shape because he's producing an animated series with FOX based on his brother's life. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, but if you're going to just keep living (Matty's motto), you need a tight core."Rooster Tales" follows the world of a beer-swilling, redneck sheriff who marries a much younger woman from Mexico. The man soon realizes, however, that he's gained not only a wife but an entire clan — 114 members and counting.Here's what McConaughey had to say about it:"My brother's life is so unbelievable, we had to animate it." I got news for you Matthew, if everyone's life that's unbelievable was animated we'd have a sh*tload of Seal cartoons.How did that guy marry Heidi Klum?!(via Variety)

What’s On TV This Thanksgiving Weekend
Wednesday, November 25 by

This Thanksgiving weekend, television is thankful for strippers.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Darkside’ Trailer
Tuesday, November 24 by

Having struck merchandising and ratings gold with Blue Harvest, Family Guy is now releasing their Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something, Darkside. Looks amusing enough. Not sure why Billie Dee Williams isn't involved with this project though. He's done worse. The farce is strong with these links. What Other People are Thinking When You're Traveling (HolyTaco) One Hard Hitting Six-Year-Old (TotalProSports) Girls Flashing the Duckface Pose (TheChive) 'Old Dogs' Publicity Still is a Joke (FilmDrunk) How to be a Pool Hustler (Manofest) Six Worst Movie Sidekicks (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Fan Eats Pussy Cat (CelebJihad) Facebook in Star Wars Land (Unreality) 9 Signs It's Time to Lock It Down (Asylum) 2009 Hooters Dream Girls Photo Shoot (BustedCoverage) 7 Memorable Tom Cruise Bromances (RegretfulMorning) How to Sail Around the World (MadeMan) Jeff Dunham on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
Tuesday, November 24 by

A winner is crowned on tonight's Dancing With The "Stars."CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

FAMILY GUY
Tuesday, November 24 by

CREATOR: Seth MacFarlaneCAST: Seth MacFarlane; Alex Borstein; Seth Green; Mila Kunis: Mike Henry; Danny Smith; Patrick WarburtonSYNOPSIS: In a wacky Rhode Island town, a dysfunctional family strive to cope with everyday life as they are thrown from one crazy scenario to another.

Two Killer ‘Dexter’ Previews
Tuesday, November 24 by

I don't want to ruin last week's episode of Dexter by telling you everyone dies in it, so I'll just say it was the best episode in a stellar season of the show about a domesticated serial killer. Fact: John Lithgow makes everything better. If you're not watching Dexter you need to start RIGHT NOW. Okay…go! Here are a couple clips to settle the monster down inside of you that can't wait until Sunday's new episode. 

‘Shiny Suds’ Commercial Will Make You Uncomfortably Clean
Monday, November 23 by

Shiny Suds Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosWe're obviously used to glistening, happy bubbles cleaning our tubs and sinks, but did you know those bubbles can turn into perverted suds? Next time you step foot in the shower, do it with caution. Click on these links liberably. 5 Things Your Family Will Talk About at Thanksgiving (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Makes a Sick Shot (TotalProSports) These Books Actually Exist (TheChive) More Pictures from 'The Hangover' (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest SNL Commercial Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous) Twilight the End of Cultural Civilization? (Pajiba) Kelly Clarkson is Seriously Not Fat (CelebJihad) 10 Best Call of Duty 4 Trailer Mashups (Unreality) Grow a Mustache, Get Made Fun Of (Asylum) Katelynn Johnson Knocked Out in Water Bottle Accident (BustedCoverage) Passing a Sobriety Test Unsober (RegretfulMorning) How to Choose Cologne (MadeMan) Vickers Worst Chaser in History (AllLeftTurns) Philly Catfight Brings Out Every Car on the Block (NothingToxic) Dan Levy Presents: Stunt Man (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, November 23rd, 2009
Monday, November 23 by

Katee Sackhoff returns to nerd-bonering tonight. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Dances Around Like a Sissy Boy
Monday, November 23 by

First off, what's happening in the above picture? Moving on, this past Saturday Joseph Gordon-Levitt performed "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn't put the stellar Donald O'Connor to shame, he did complete some awesome wall flips. The kid's got spunk, I'll give 'em that. If you didn't watch Joseph's monologue, take a look below. It's guaranteed to make you possibly chuckle.  (via /Film)

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 20th – Sunday, November, 22nd
Friday, November 20 by

This weekend, the Seinfelds reunite!!!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Lost’ Final Season Premieres This February
Friday, November 20 by

The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 have finally landed… on a date for the premiere of their sixth season. Exec producer Carlton Cuse announced via the tweets that the show will return to f*cking our minds on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 9PM. No word yet on whether the plot-line will pick up where we last left off or if we'll see a new, alternate time-line in the final season. Regardless of what goes down, I'm sure it will get all mucked up by Sayid when gets tricked or caught in some kind of rope trap. He consistently screws everything up but remains a fan favorite. HOW?! I hate that tanktop-loving dope. (TV Overmind)

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, November 19th, 2009
Thursday, November 19 by

Tonight on TV, hot chicks and Lucifer – the original douchebag.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Create A ‘Simpsons’ Character Contest Yields A New Character
Thursday, November 19 by

In celebration of the 20th season of The Simpsons, a contest was held to create a new character. The winner of the 25,000+ received entries is 52 year-old Peggy Black of Orange, CT. Her character, Ricardo Bomba (pictured below), is a handsome, smooth-talking, hot-blooded lothario who's set to liquify the town's panties on the January 31st episode."Rrrri-carrr-do Bomba," Black said when describing the character, extravagantly rolling the "R's" in Spanish-language fashion. She then added, "You look mah-velous!!!" Soon after, her spinning bowtie went awry and cut her chin up pretty badly. (Yahoo)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
Wednesday, November 18 by

Tonight's TV has some big name guest stars. And Skeet Ulrich.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

At Home with English – Part 1
Tuesday, November 17 by

This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
Tuesday, November 17 by

After tonight's episode of Melrose Place, it will be perfectly acceptable to call Heather Locklear a bitch again.  CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Bob Saget Explores Strange Things for A&E Reality Series
Tuesday, November 17 by

A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, November 16th, 2009
Monday, November 16 by

Tonight on Gossip Girl, uber-nutjob Lady Gaga cameos. I'll be so bummed if she doesn't wear her Kermit dress. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘The League’ Actress Nadine Velazquez
Monday, November 16 by

Nadine Velazquez is probably most recognizable for her role as Catalina, the motel maid, on My Name is Earl. Now she plays Sophia on The League, where her character's breasts are too big after just having a child. Buuuuuuh. You can see her fondling them in episode 2. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.  A word from Nadine: "I wake up with stripper boots on sometimes."That probably means you went to bed with stripper boots on… Which means you were probably stripping the night before… I used my powers of deduction to surmise that you dance naked! What club, please? Nadine's got those "stripper eyes" in the pics after the jump.

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 13th – Sunday, November 15th
Friday, November 13 by

Easy on the eyes January Jones hosts SNL while murder on the ears Black Eyed Peas are the musical guest. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!! 

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Thursday, November 12 by

Tonight is all about short, horny, crazy people. It's Verne Troyer Day!!!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ Is The Greatest Thing To Happen To Any Of Us
Thursday, November 12 by

I thought this was a Halloween photo but no one else is dressed up. Fellas, at first you'll be pissed when your girlfriend series records MTV's Jersey Shore on your DVR (which she will undoubtedly do). Don't be. The show is AMAZING. I was lucky enough to catch the first episode and I can say that it has actually improved my life. It gave me the greatest gift of all. The gift of feeling superior to total strangers. Does it feature stereotypes? Sure. Is it trashy? Uh-huh. Are there stained pits? Undoubtedly. Do they have a duck-shaped telephone? They do. It's unintentional comedy at its finest with the punchlines polished an unsettling shade of fake tan. Easily the best show that MTV has ever aired. Tune in December 3rd. Your life will thank you.

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Adrianne Palicki
Thursday, November 12 by

A blonde beauty who is best known for her role as Tyra Collete on the DirecTV/NBC series ‘Friday Night Lights’.

It’s About Time James Franco Play an Assassin on ‘General Hospital’
Wednesday, November 11 by

James Franco General Hospital Promo – Watch more Funny VideosJames Franco does what he wants, and he don't give a sh*t about what you think. Star in a superhero movie? Done. Take a hiatus from Hollywood and work on a degree from Columbia University? Done. Be an assassin in a daytime soap opera? DONE. That's right, starting November 20th you can catch James Franco starring in General Hospital as a badass professional killer. The secret to life? Anyone can die at anytime…by the hands of the Franco.Check out these links before Franco ends you. Who Would Survive the Apocalypse (HolyTaco) The Fastest Soccer Goal Ever (TotalProSports) Random Sexy Athletes (TheChive) Faces of 'Old Dogs' (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Futuristic City Building Designs (SuperTremendous) Your Cinematic Legacy (Pajiba) Keanu Reeves is Immortal (CelebJihad) 15 Badass Etch A Sketch Drawings (Unreality) Who Should be the Next Victoria's Secret Model? (Asylum) The Green Bay Packers Cheesehead Hulk (BustedCoverage) Rear Naked Choke…with Women (RegretfulMorning) How to Mix a Margarita (MadeMan) A Dog's Thoughts on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns) Cop Shoots Other Cop in the Back (NothingToxic) Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Atom)

Whedon Takes ‘Dollhouse’ Cancellation Like A Champ
Wednesday, November 11 by

Bad news for people who stay in on Friday nights. The FOX mind-wipe melodrama Dollhouse has been put out to pasture. Show creator Joss Whedon commented on his site,"I'm extremely proud of the people I've worked with: my star (Eliza Dushku), my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you'll agree in the coming months. I'm grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again. You seem cool. Do you want to get coffee sometime? Hey! I know you're just pretending to be distracted by your phone. You're just like all the others!!"FOX plans to air all 13 episodes of the show's second season and give Whedon the chance to go out with a bang.When reached for comment, the Richest Man On Television, Simon Cowell had this to say:Oh, real mature, Simon. Real mature. (THR)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Wednesday, November 11 by

Between The CMA's, CBS's comedy block, and Secret Girlfriend, tonight is all about hot chicks and fat dudes. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Simon Cowell Is Wealthiest Man On TV
Wednesday, November 11 by

 Forbes reports that Simon Cowell is stacking that cheddar, son. Oh sorry. That wasn't Forbes. That was 4BZ, my rap-loving neighbor. What Forbes actually said is that British grump Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on U.S. television with an estimated income of $75 million dollars last year. WOW.Coming in second place is Donald Trump with an estimated $50 million. Question. Why can't the two wealthiest men on television afford a decent haircut? (THR)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
Tuesday, November 10 by

Tonight on TV we have cavemen, criminals, and trustafarians. Evolution has not been pretty. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC 

CBS Picks Up ‘Sh*t My Dad Says’
Tuesday, November 10 by

(Photo credit: Patrick Schumacker)The Twitter phenom Sh*t My Dad Says is making the leap from the very small screen to the slightly larger screen. The uproarious tweets that relay the musings of a 73 year-old San Diego man have spawned a book deal and now a script commitment with CBS in the four months since its creation by ex-Holy Taco writer Justin Halpern. Halpern will be handling the writing duties along with former Screen Junkies writer Patrick Schumacker as they are supervised by Will & Grace creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick.Today is a happy day here at Screen Junkies as two of our own leave the nest to enter a career where pants-wearing is an expectation. Patrick and Justin, keep an eye on the mail as I have sent each of you a copy of Dr. Seuss's "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"With my headshot tucked between the pages of course. (THR)

George Clooney Makes Like a Looney Toons Character
Monday, November 9 by

It's so great when celebrities act silly overseas for money. In the above commercial for Nespresso, George Clooney walks out of a shop and gets a piano dropped on his head by an off-screen Road Runner. He then travels to heaven and–wait, John Malkovich is dead?!Enjoy these links with a nice cup of coffee.  Best Football Celebration Dances Ever (HolyTaco) Fight Breaks Out During High School Girls Soccer (TotalProSports) Ship Made from World Trade Center Steel (TheChive) Coolio Replaces DMX in MMA Fight (FilmDrunk) 15 Worst Bootleg DVD Covers of All Time (SuperTremendous) Top 8 Werewolf Movies of the Last 30 Years (Pajiba) Jessica Alba Gets a Spankin' (CelebJihad) There's a Calvin in All of Us (Unreality) Guys Don't Find Skinny Women Attractive (Asylum) Will Jenn Sterger eBay Her Breast Implants? (BustedCoverage) What Does Your Bar Tab Say About You? (RegretfulMorning) You're Dating a Gold Digger (MadeMan) Earnhardt Losing Streak Reaches 55 (AllLeftTurns) Women Freaks Out On Live TV (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)