You know how on infomercials there's that moment when a person just can't f*cking take the inconvenience of a mundane task anymore? Here's a whole bunch of those cut together. Click on the first link now and get the rest free!!!Two Guns are Better Than One Montage (Moviefone)Aussie Bikini Girls Vying for Top Spot (Asylum)DJ AM Makes Cameo Appearance in 'Iron Man 2' (PopEater)25 Un-Tooned Portraits (HolyTaco)Your Steven Seagal Update Rape (FilmDrunk)Adrianne Curry Playing Sci-Fi Dress-Up (Unreality)Girls in Green (Maxim)War of Words Heating Up Between UFC 113 Opponents (CagePotato)Taylor Swift Joins Dangerous Street Gang (CelebJihad)25 Kids on Leashes (Smosh)10 TV Shows You Should Be Watching (Pajiba)Horrible NFL Draft Pick (Atom)How to Have a Long Distance Relationship (MadeMan)Behold, The Daqurita Wacker (AllLeftTurns)7 People Still Recovering from Spring Break (RegretfulMorning)
Heidi Klum's legal name is now Samuel because she married a Seal and gave birth to its two children. Before she mingled with singers named after aqautic life, Heidi was a SUPERmodel. In middle school, I wanted to marry her. Now after the two baby Seals, not so much. A word from Heidi: "Going blonde is like buying yourself a light bulb!"She must have said that while she was a blonde.Okay I'd still marry her. See why after the jump.
"South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have predictably drawn controversy with their recent 200th episode. A Muslim website issued a warning that the duo will likely be killed for their recent depiction of Muhammad in a bear suit. The posting also included a graphic picture of slain Theo van Gogh, a documentary filmmaker killed for mocking the prophet in a film about violence against Muslim women.“We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.”No strangers to controversy or death threats, Parker and Stone are more than likely not taking this warning to heart. Muslims don't mess around when mocked or disrespected. I guess you could say that the (Ed. Note: Joke deleted. I cherish my life). (FoxNews)
Kyle Chandler gets paranoid around lip-readers.The long-suffering fans of Friday Night Lights would be wise to stiffen their upper-lips while reading this next piece of news. Kyle Chandler is said to be in talks to star in a new pilot for Steven Spielberg and Fox, all but guaranteeing the cult favorite will not survive its current season. But whatever, let's look to the future. Or in this case, to the future and then to the past.In Terra Nova, Chandler will play to his non-football coaching strengths to play a patriarch who travels through time (much like he did in "Early Edition") and get chased by dinosaurs (much like he did in King Kong). But this family from the future warped to prehistoric times sounds familiar. Where have I seen this Space Age meets the Stone Age concept before? (EW)
Having grown bored with dominating the fields of movie-making and silly hair-having, Imagine Entertainment brohams Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are pulling a Michael Bay. The pair have created an action-oriented reality thriller for TNT that challenges contestants to escape from movie-inspired scenarios. From THR:In "The Great Escape," ordinary people are put in cinema-inspired settings, challenging them to find a way out using everyday ingenuity. Each week, teams are dropped off blindfolded in a different extreme environment — lost in the desert, trapped in the mountains, locked in a prison, marooned on an island. This sounds like a fun and fresh premise. There's so many classic films that can be channeled for the program. Contestants could spend a terrifying night at Camp Crystal Lake, or get your teeth drilled by a nazi dentist. Or worse yet, they could be forced to raise an illegitimate child with Katherine Heigl.
Drawn Together – Watch more Funny Videos The show "Drawn Together" may have been cancelled, but that door closing left one giant window open for a movie. The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! pulls a post-modern, meta headtrip by centering on the housemates, who deduce their show has been cancelled after they realize they can swear without being bleeped. "Family Guy" mastermind Seth MacFarlane also has a cameo as I.S.R.A.E.L. (Intelligent Smart Robot Animation Lady). Judging by MacFarlane's participation and the necrophilia in the above trailer, there's a good chance this could be one helluva laugh/vomit inducing cartoon caper. The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! hits stores on DVD tomorrow. These links are alive, and want you to make out with them. Top 29 Cities for Men To Live In (AskMen) Behind the Scenes of 'Get Him to the Greek' (Moviefone) Changing Internet Passwords Is a Waste of Time (Asylum) Christina Hendricks Esquire Pics (PopEater) 25 Sexy Gingers (HolyTaco) Spike Jonze Video Features Panda Furries (FilmDrunk) 12 Memorable Alligator Scenes in Movies (Unreality) BU Fan Gets Serviced in the Stands (TotalProSports) Louis Gossett Jr. Visual Resume (Maxim) 21 Questions with Paul 'Semtex' Daley (CagePotato) AnnaLynne McCord at the Beach (CelebJihad) 9 Cars You Should Never Drive (Smosh) The Case of the Disappearing Director (Pajiba) The Future is Weird and Dumb (Atom) Prototype 4G iPhone Discovered (MadeMan) Kim Burton Photos (AllLeftTurns)
Pamela Anderson is a gorgeous Canadian model/actress with beautiful American cleavage. She has posed in playboy five times and been in three different hit TV shows, including the über-popular "Baywatch." She is (was?) considered one of the most beautiful people in the world.A word from Pamela: "I have this phobia: I don't like mirrors. And I don't watch myself on television. If anything comes on, I make them shut it off, or I leave the room."I usually do that when I see you now too. And you have no idea how it breaks my heart.More pics of Pam back in her glory days after the jump.
No surprise here, but they made a "True Blood" porn parody entitled Tru: An XXX Parody. It's a shame porn trailers aren't allowed to show any porn. In my opinion, it's the best part of these adult films everyone keeps fapping about. Watching the above video without kinky sex is like watching a Jane Campion film without kinky sex. All your left with is blood and bruised women. (FilmDrunk)
Betty White and Jay-Z will reportedly squash their long-standing beef for an upcoming episode of "Saturday Night Live." Hova will appear as the musical guest on the May 8th episode which White is hosting after being cyber-bullied into taking the gig.For those worried that White is not up to the after-hours task had best check themselves."It's lovely, and at my age it's certainly unexpected. I've got so much energy, it's ridiculous. I love working. My schedule is a feverish one, and I'm used to that." Betty White's album is expected to drop on Roc Nation before the end of the year. Streets is hungry for this one. (MTV)
If you're a big "Spin City" enthusiast you might remember Lana Parrilla as Angie Ordonez in the first season. If your memory doesn't go back ten years, you probably know her face from "24" and "Six Feet Under." If you still don't recognize her, I can't help you.A word from Lana: "The trauma surgeons in life are a little more calm than we are."After you stich up two-hundred wild-eyed junkies it becomes old hat.Maybe the pics after the jump will jog your memory.
I don't even care that this promo for "LOST" offers zero solid information about forthcoming events, it's got a Willy Wonka voiceover that made my butt hairs stand on end. The person who suggested sampling Gene Wilder's iconic speech should get a raise and a popsicle. Or a Push Pop if a raise is out of the question.25 Best Movie Remakes of All Time (Moviefone)Transform Your Ride Into Tom Selleck (Asylum)Steven Seagal Made Jenny McCarthy Cry (PopEater)25 Insane Book Covers (HolyTaco)Robocop Is Jesus (FilmDrunk)30 Hot Girls with Ripped Abs (TotalProSports)5 Stages of Owning a Pet (Maxim)12 Most Memorable Movie Billionaires (Unreality)Mike Whitehead Charged With Three Felonies (CagePotato)Gary Busey is Obama's Top Adviser (CelebJihad)Homeless Rap Genius (Smosh)Carla Gugino Will Show Her Boobs On TV (Pajiba)The Obamourage Goes All Nude (Atom)Ways to Beat Workout Boredom (MadeMan)When NASCAR and Rap Collide (AllLeftTurns)The Friend Zone (RegretfulMorning)
He always stands like this when he's proud of his jacket.So eery when life imitates art. After being forced to turn in his badge and gun in countless films, Steven Seagal has been ordered to do the same in reality TV life. The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Station has halted production indefiitely of the A&E series "Steven Seagal: Lawman."Seagal became the center of controversy earlier this week when a former executive assistant (hired via Craigslist) accused the perspirant actor of treating her like a "sex toy" for the brief time she was in his employ. She also alleged "Mr. Seagal had been keeping two young female Russian 'Attendants' on staff who were available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."No one knows for sure how Seagal will react to this. But now that he's working outside of the justice system, it's likely that he'll team up with DMX to target and bring down the gang of murderous Rastafarians whose oil-drilling has been killing the Alaskan wilderness, with his unique brand of justice. Deadly justice. (TMZ)
NO RULES!!!!!!Michael Bay is about to tackle a brand new subject: reality. The director will get a strangle-hold on the action-adventure reality series "One Way Out." It's being called "a game with no rules" and apparently also a game with no solid premise, as evidenced by Bay's description:"For my first television project I wanted to do something that had never been done before, and I believe that One Way Out accomplishes that. Combining unique twists, death-defying challenges, and stunning visuals, we are reinventing the genre, showing just how far people will go when they are stripped of their bare necessities and forced to do whatever it takes to survive."The man clearly woke up from a dream and wrote that down in his bitchin' idea pad. Clear it up a bit for us, press release writer:The reality adventure series will pit ordinary people from all walks of life against each other, creating extreme competition and deep allegiances. All players have secret pasts that must be kept hidden from their fellow competitors, setting the stage for an intense game of trust and betrayal. Players will be forced to adapt to and conquer new hostile environments each week, building towards a climactic showdown where all secrets are exposed and a shocking development revealed.Nope, still sounds like a hodgepodge of adverbs and buzz words. They should just call it "Michael Bay's Reality Show!" So much reality it's f*cking unreal!Magical Elves, the production company behind the hits "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" will hold Bay's hand through the process. Then he'll break their thumbs, kill the guards, and hop on his personal helicopter, because no one tells Michael Bay how the world really works. NO ONE. (Deadline)
Haha. Right in the nuts.Thank God. Now comedy nerds can go into a sports bar and enjoy 10 Cent Wing Night without fear of ridicule from the jocks. Comedy Central has ordered ten episodes of the sports-themed satire "Onion Sports Network," allowing nerds everywhere to bluff their way through sports conversations when, in truth, their sports knowledge is limited to the third act of Major League. A spin-off of the popular newspaper, website, and recently-announced TV show, "OSN" will target teams, athletes, fans, and ridiculous endorsements with "the same sharpness we've seen applied to the world of politics and popular culture." (THR) A taste of things to come, after the jump….
Best Cry Ever – Watch more Funny Videos I'm assuming this clip is from A&E's "Intervention, which is clearly a somber show, but no apology deserves this kind of reaction. Check out my mashup below. Tom Hanks Jokes with Crying Guy – Watch more Funny Videos
Lori Loughlin, or better known as Aunt Becky, captured our hearts as Uncle Jesse's main squeeze on "Full House." She also appeared in Old Dogs alongside Jon Travolta recently, which I don't condone, but everyone does one for the money now and again. Like that entire cast. A word from Laurie: "You have to make difficult choices in your life, and you just have to be happy with them."Like what I shall have for dinner tonight. Do I go with the country breaded chicken or lemon pepper fish frozen meal. Ahhhhh, decisions make me angry!These pics of Lori after the jump will calm my nerves…
Tina Fey hosted "Saturday Night Live" this past weekend and was lucky enough to have Justin Bieber as the musical guest. So of course they put together a pedophile sketch. It's understandable that Fey would want to rub Johnson's Baby Shampoo in Bieber's hair, but she should squirt some in has mouth while she's at it. Kid's talkin' way too gangsta lately. These links are very much of age. The Best Action Movies of the '70s (Moviefone) A Look Inside Erotic Photography (Asylum) Heidi Montag Shows Off Her F-Cups (PopEater) 5 People You Know Who Cheat On Their Taxes (HolyTaco) Mickey Rourke Method Acts With Pics of Dead Dogs (FilmDrunk) Peter Griffin Plays Modern Warfare 2 (Unreality) Brawling Season is Back for Marlins Fans (TotalProSports) Guide to Fake Military Titles (Maxim) Did Demian Maia Disrespect Anderson Silva? (CagePotato) Megan Fox Pic X-Rayed to Reveal Breasts (CelebJihad) Worst Job Applications Ever (Smosh) The Most Depressing Movie of All Time (Pajiba) Recession Song (Atom) Take the Stress Out of Tax Season (MadeMan) 10 Worst Paint Scheme Fails (AllLeftTurns)
Superman rescues mini zombie. It doesn't matter why.Since being picked up for series, casting news for Frank Darabont's television adaptation of The Walking Dead has been trickling in. We already know that Andrew Lincoln and Jon Bernthal are on-board to play Officer Rick Grimes and his partner Shane. Today there is a rumor that Brandon Routh will also join the cast in an unspecified role. This one is actually believable. Routh's career is on an uptick as of late with a recent role on "Chuck" and one in the upcoming Scott Pilgrim. But who will he play?We conducted a very scientific poll to find out which character he will most likely play.10% of people believe he will play Glenn12% of people believe he will play Billy Greene13% of people believe he will play a brand new character64% of people believe he will play Boyishly Handsome Zombie #31% of people are undecidedWe'll keep you posted as this story develops if only because that fancy polling equipment cost us a sh*t-ton. (Bloody Disgusting)
Nicole Scherzinger is the Queen Pussycat of The Pussycat Dolls. She tried to go solo, but it seems she's only a success when surrounded by the rest of her pussies. A word from Nicole: "I'm a beast of a woman who loves Jeff." Now I'm a shadow of a man who hates Jeff. He always ruins everything…Check out more pics of the beast Nicole after the jump.
I'm taking your time slot, and that's the end of it. Conan O'Brien chooses TBS. In a surprise move, O'Brien announced on his Twitter this morning that the cable channel will be his new home:"The good news: I'll be doing a show on TBS starting in November. The bad news: I'll be playing Rudy on the all new Cosby Show."Coco's show will air at 11PM, Monday-Thursday, the slot now occupied by "Lopez Tonight." George Lopez is acting all "mi casa, su casa" about getting the bump to midnight, having called O'Brien personally and stating, "I can think of nothing better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in."It was thought that Conan might land at FOX this Fall, but the affiliates' shared fear of replacing profitable "Seinfeld" reruns with a floppy, red-haired gamble put a wrench in the works. Conan couldn't seem happier about the move though, stating, ""In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly."Next up, maybe blogging. Welcome to hell, Coco. (Variety)
Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he's essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something's lacking alcohol, it's Rourke. (FilmDrunk)
Spielberg brings his "A" game to every project. Even upskirt videos.A press release from The Discovery Channel announced they are working with Steven Spielberg and Dreamworks Television to develop a new mini-series titled, "Future Earth". In a similar vain as "Planet Earth" and "Life", the series will examine the world of the future to show us how Earth is expected to evolve over the next 25, 50, and 100 years. Spielberg will personally oversee the project. It's yet to be determined if the impending robot uprising will be factored in."We're quite excited to bring our brand of sassy yet dead-in-the-eyes character animation to this revolutionary project," said Jeffrey Katzenberg, Chief Executive Officer of Dreamworks Animation.Although the future may bring prosperous advances to the worlds of technology and medicine, one area that will suffer is fashion. According to leading futurists, hammer pants are expected to make a huge comeback. Weird, I know. (The Futon Critic)
The song is called "I Can Hardly Wait" by Complicated Universal Cum. What's that, you don't care? But I have a really funny joke about the band's name. Fine, watch the lesbians while I mope. (BuzzFeed)Bring your gaze over here for a minute. I have links.10 Most Over-Used Movie Catchphrases (Moviefone)HP's Answer to the iPad (Asylum)Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Parodies (PopEater)25 Awesome Haircuts (HolyTaco)Arrested Development Movie Probably Not Happening (FilmDrunk)10 Random Singing Scenes in Movies (Unreality)Meet Tiger Woods' Girl-Next-Door Mistress (TotalProSports)UFC's Arianny Celeste Photo Shoot (Maxim)Rich Attonito's Guest Blog: Ep 2 (CagePotato)Leighton Meester Shows Her Ass on Gossip Girl (CelebJihad)Freakiest Virtual Reality Devices Ever (Smosh)Dos and Don'ts of Masturbation in Cinema (Pajiba)Todd Willis Discusses Smoking Crack (Atom)How to Choose a Cologne (MadeMan)The Formula 1 Guitarist (AllLeftTurns)24 White Trash Gaming Rigs (RegretfulMorning)
Kayla Ewell is known for her roles as Caitlin Ramirez on the long-running soap opera "The Bold and the Beautiful," and Maureen Sampson on "Freaks and Geeks." If you work for a living you're probably not aware of the former. If you like awesome television you should know the latter. A word from Kayla: "I’m OK with blood, but walking around and talking on your cell phone with a giant gash in your neck—I’m going to have to get used to that."I don't think you ever really get used to that. You just bleed out. Check out a very much intact Kayla after the jump.
Last night on "The Tonight Show (with Jay Leno)," Slash donned a pin in support of Conan O'Brien. That top-hatted rocker couldn't stop being a rebel if he tried, even though his act of defiance was the equivalent of pinning a "Molest Me" sign on your Chemistry teacher's back. We always took it up a notch in my high school. (BuzzFeed)Show these links some support.Get Inside the 'Clerks' Convenience Store (Moviefone)What Does It Feel Like to be Struck by Lightning? (Asylum)Russell Brand Is a Bridezilla (PopEater)25 Terrible Restaurant Signs (HolyTaco)If 'Gran Torino' Was About Doin' Chicks (FilmDrunk)8 Funniest Jorma Taccone Videos (Unreality)Girl's Epic Dunk Fail (TotalProSports)The Ultimate 'Lost' Spin-Offs (Maxim)Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 112 Edition (CagePotato)Kristin Cavallari Butt Pics Megapost (CelebJihad)10 Badass Kids Not to Mess With (Smosh)'Jerry Maguire' vs. 'Up in the Air' (Pajiba)The Truth Behind Healthcare Reform (Atom)How to Survive an Explosion (MadeMan)Yet Another Earnhardt Fan Robs Banks (AllLeftTurns)
Last week we reported that AMC picked up "The Walking Dead" to series, securing at least one season of the Frank Darabont exec-produced zombie drama. It's always been my professional (?) opinion that shows thrive when they have lead actors in them, and it looks like the network concured by casting Andrew Lincoln to fill the shoes of small town cop Rick Grimes.Lincoln isn't a huge presence in The States, but if your girlfriend has ever forced you to watch Love, Actually you probably recognize him as the guy who tries to bone Keira Knightley by getting all cutesy.Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever happened to a boombox and Peter Gabriel? Kids have no imagination these days. (THR)
UPDATE: Apologies, but I was forced to remove this due to copyright issues. You can check out the original article at Cracked HERE, which delves deeper into MacFarlane's process.
Not too long ago, most actors on TV were unknown before they were cast. Guys like Clooney and…other guys like Clooney. Then a trend started where the actors cast were former film stars — of a certain degree, at least. Actors and actresses that were once well-known before bigger and better looking talent overshadowed them. But TV has never shied away from second rate, so the trend has continued and will keep getting stronger. And alas, there are still many more of these former semi-moderately-successful movie stars in the unemployment line waiting for their TV break. Here’s just a partial list of such people and the shows they may be working on next. Because an extensive list might number somewhere in the hundreds. Lou Diamond Phillips
Anna Paquin has shocked the world with the announcement that she is bi-sexual. Pictures please! Umm, only because I'm not sure that I believe her. So I'm going to need to see those pictures. Pictures that I can keep for a while. And video. None of that grainy, night-cam bullsh*t either. From E!: Well, we didn’t see this one coming. Anna Paquin has made a surprise—and we’re guessing welcome—declaration of her sexuality. “I’m bisexual,” the engaged "True Blood" star announces in a new PSA for the Give a Damn campaign, a project started by Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, fighting for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality. You may remember Rosie O'Donnell coming out in a similiar manner with her Give a Ham campaign. Oh, whatever you guys. It was this or write some trite speculation about The Avengers. Watch Anna's PSA after the jump.
Since the start of NBC TV’s fall season we have been treated to the hilarious and at times very cynical life of the Greendale Community College student in the aptly titled show “Community.” From the oddball university reject scholar to the burnt out faculty and scheming administration, the show never fails to deliver the wacky world of affordable education. For the past 5 years of my post-high school life this is a world I’ve know far too well, with my main thought being what can I do to get a C grade around here.Let us now do a comparison of the characters we watch on TV’s “Community” and what we would see on a real community college campus, a place where anyone with $26 dollars (the cost per academic unit in California) in their pocket can claim to have some college experience.