Andy Samberg & Anne Hathaway MTV Promo – Watch more Movie TrailersBefore, there was "Slaughter Shack." Now, the 2009 MTV Movie Awards proudly presents Andy Samberg and Anne Hathaway in the Hallmark Movie of the Week-like™ film "Evenings with Ms. Eloise." Anne Hathaway proves herself to be a comic equal to Samberg, but looks way hotter in drag here. Like I said before, I may hate everything about the actual awards ceremony, but damned if they don't make funny promos and intersitials to go with 'em.
Happy Mother's Day from those SNL Dicks in a Box, Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. (Featuring Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson.)
Detective Salinger’s gun is stolen by gang bangers and the detectives launch an off-record investigation to relocate the weapon. Their search takes them a bit deeper than they had anticipated. Worst NightmareSalinger removes himself from the driver’s seat of a vehicle he’s managed to wrap around a pole. All that remains of the hood is warped metal and smoke. He crumbles to his knees and spits blood. We learn that a cop’s most commonly recurring worst nightmare is one where they lose their gun. For Sal, the nightmare has become a reality. Everybody’s Doing ItTammy sneaks a joint in the bathroom she and Detective Bryant share. Sam is lying in bed, calling to his wife who won’t respond. The dog is going ape-shit, clawing at the door. Sam bursts in to find his wife getting high. He tells her to flush it which she does, but not before reminding him that he used to love doing it, too. Cat Lady
Parks and Recreation: The BanquetLeslie begins the episode by regaling the camera crew with the tale of William Bixby Mark, who traded a baby to a tribe of Native Americans for what is now Indianapolis. She then goes on to say that these same Native Americans cut off Mark’s face and crafted a dream-catcher out of it, before making rain-sticks out of his legs. After she praises the resourcefulness of these Natives, who use “every part of the pioneer”) the credits roll, and we’re off!
In the Scrubs series finale tears are shed, laughs are shared, confessions are made, disputes are resolved, and hugs that should have been distributed years ago are finally given. Morning SexJ.D.’s finale begins in the same place his career with Sacred Heart began eight years ago. He wakes this morning next to Elliot and thinks back to his first day and all the things that happened then. He remembers hiding with Elliot in the supplies closet, Kelso’s first unkind words to him, and the time Janitor accused him of sticking a penny in the door, sealing it shut. J.D. tries to use the fact that it’s his last d ay to score some morning sex, but Elliot isn’t having it. She tells him that she moved her bed into his apartment, and J.D. realizes that she’s been “sneak-moving” into his new place. Eventually, J.D. gets his morning sex. Bitter Roast
J.D. moves out to be closer to Sam and also decides to leave Sacred Heart. Ted and Guch move in together and Elliot takes the fall for Denise’s blunder. RelocationJ.D.’s plans to relocate are set in motion and in a short period of time he has moved into and furnished an apartment, 37 minutes away from Sacred Heart. Turk is proudly displaying his new Chief of Surgery badge when Denise and Derek emerge from the resting room. Turk and Derek walk off while Carla and Elliot congratulate Denise for the fish she caught. Elliot confesses that she’s fantasized about J.D. attacking her and Derek and then having both men pleasure her. Her fantasy ends with her g etting hold of J.D.’s gun and going on a killing spree. This helps her finish. Denise is pretty certain that she’s getting distracted with him, and that her involvement is interfering with her abilities as a doctor. When Carla asks her if Derek is a nice guy, Denise says she thought his name was “Eric”. A Dish Best Served Cold
Andy Samberg and Will Arnett in Slaughter Shack – Watch more Funny VideosI generally stay away from the MTV Movie Awards as much as possible, but their promo videos and interstitials during the show keep pulling me back in time and time again. This time, it's a Road House-inspired fight scene with Andy Samberg, Will Arnett and an amazing cameo by – dare I say it? – someone carrying Phil Hartman's torch… Bill Hader.
Tonight, a ballerina's lungs implode during a performance and then the skin on her body starts falling off (House), Jack Bauer gets closer and closer to thwarting a secret society of CEO's hell bent on terrorizing their own country (24), and the Discovery channel gives us thorough insight into the military 'Juggernaut.' Your extended preview and an awesome video of a tank jumping from a mound and firing it's main weapon mid-air.
Walt’s cancer is getting worse. He realizes that he’s gonna have to cook like crazy to make sure his family is provided for. After the cost of laundering his money, orchestrated by good old Saul, he’s only got 9 grand. So he and Jesse lie to their respective women and head out to the desert with plenty of Funyons and drinking water for a weekend long meth cook off. After a nice little drug making montage they come out with about 42 pounds and they stand to make over half a million bucks each. They’ve still got a little methylamine left so they decide to take a break and head into town for a grand slam at Denny’s. But it turns out old Jesse left the keys in the ignition and the battery died. So they try to jump the Methmobile with a generator. But the generator catches fire. And then Jesse dumps their cooler of drinking water on the flames. The fire’s out but they are fucked. They call Skinny Pete who agrees to come pick them up. After waiting for hours they decide to call Skinny again and it turns out he got lost, then Walt’s phone dies. Oh crap.
This week’s episode of Dollhouse can best be described as a twisted version of Sleeping Beauty, where Echo’s savior could either be an altruistic ex-FBI agent, or a violent, vengeful ex-lover. Story TimeA man wearing tattered clothing approaches a dumpster and begins sifting through its contents. Pulling aside a few bits of trash reveals a human arm, poking through the rubbish. The man moves forward to inspect what must be a disposed carcass, but when he is within range the hand lashes out and closes around the poor guy’s throat.
Look at this glorious beast…Besides hunting your children and howling at the moon, the Yellowstone Wolf struggles for life in Yellowstone National Park amongst harsh conditions. Discovery has an Planet Earth-like series following this noble creature as it dodges geysers, battles bears for buffalo meat and survives in one of the last great pieces of vast wilderness. Video of a wolf/bear battle, a gas tanker exploding, and previews of Dollhouse and Breaking Bad after the jump.
[Editor's Note: Per writer "Dave M's" request, we're making this one quick, so that we can get to the real meat of this post, his impassioned letter to actor B.J. Novak. Also, ScreenJunkies in no way endorses or agrees with Dave M's point of view.]Okay, Office Lovers. We learned from this week's episode that Michael, Pam and Ryan have rejoined the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin and it's about time. Splitting the glibness between 2 offices seemed a bit of a challenge for NBC's Office writing staff as the show ventured into more awkward situational humor than actual laughs during the last several Idris Elba-filled episodes…
Detectives Clarke, Adams, Bryant, and Moretta take the spotlight in this week’s episode of Southland to investigate the murder of a young woman in South Central Los Angeles. Sally in the AlleyThe body of a young woman has been discarded on the side of the road. A group of kids are huddled around throwing balls at it. A few of them pull out their cell phones to take pictures and record a video. Some time later a call is made to report the body, and shortly thereafter the detectives show up. Shockingly, this scenario occurs with such frequency that it has its’ own slang reference. A slain, discarded female body is known in Cop jargon as 9 Sally in the alley.”
The episode opens with Leslie and Tom driving out to a hiking trail where, as Tom informs the camera, teenagers are thought to be digging out bags of dog poop out of the garbage and throwing them at each other, as a game. Knope is skeptical, but she and Tom quickly find out it is a harsh reality, as Leslie is pummeled by multiple bags, defending herself with a trash can lid, while Tom takes refuge in the car. Leslie quickly changes her attitude regarding the fighting as she begins to defend herself, hurling back the bags with vigor. Welcome to Pawnee, everybody!
Before you dress up as Gambit for the midnight screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, be sure not to miss your favorite night of TV. Tonight, Ms Knope goes head-to-head with an 'Old Boys Club', there's an interesting casual friday at the Office, Tracy Jordan tries to become more mature (see above), and the LA po-po try and track down the identity of a body that the crips and/or bloods used for target practice. Check out a full preview after the break (now with extra Creed Bratton!)
Lauren Conrad will be on the next episode of "Family Guy" and she looks hot – much hotter than real life. This takes air brushing to a whole new level. Speaking of hot, the teaser on YouTube is white hot and funny as "hill." See how I did that? I replaced the word "hell" with "hill." Ya know, cuz it's witty and stuff. This spoof contains one of the best sight gags for Quagmire I've ever seen. I'll give you a hint. Finish the sentence, "As long as I have a face…" There's dog poop sex talk and a love triangle straight out of "The Hills…of Kentucky." See? I did it again! Rightin's easy. Of course all of this does beg the question, "Which show is the real cartoon?" Check it out here…
Metallica may have slowed down after their outright domination of 80's metal, but Lars Ulrich still pounds the skins with authority, Kirk Hammett still shreds, and James Hetfield growls and spits like a bulldog. You'll know what I mean when you watch Timewarp tonight, which has the whole band in super slo mo, so you can finally learn that 'Ride the Lightning' solo. Also, Lost is only 4 episodes away from leaving your fragile little lives. Your preview after the break.
Bauer, fresh from a seizure, is getting pumped with drugs to get him back to normal. He barely manages to tell Agent Walker to get an APV out on Tony Almeida, and she puts one out. Cut to Almeida, who walks up to an FBI vehicle, shoots two guys in it, and steals the whip.Bauer returns to a bit of normalcy. "Tony was working with Galvez all along."–"Are you saying that Tony killed Larry?"–"…Yes." Bauer then goes into a self agonizing rant about how it was his fault all this happened. Almeida pulls up to an undisclosed motel. Knocks, and Galvez lets him in. Galvez hands over the canister for money. But as Almeida looks into the backpack with virus box, Galvez pulls a gun. "Who's the buyer?"–"You don't want to do this." Then Almeida chucks the bag at him. A fight ensues. Alemida manages a pretty awesome kick to Galvez's teeth. And then starts suffocating him with the shower curtain, yelling "Where's the canister!"
Gear up in your yellow tights and grab your utility belt, the Heroes season 3 finale is tonight, and why not invite some of your comic book crazy friends over to send off the show in style? Also, tonight is notable for a Jack Bauer interrogation with a post heart attack, bed ridden Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight), the evil CEO of StarkWood Corp. Sure hope Bauer doesn't seizure up while he's squeezing the truth of Hodges. Your preview after the break.
Dewitt’s personal friend, Margaret Brashford, enlists the Dollhouse services as a post-mortem client seeking to uncover the secrets behind her own murder. Life After DeathMargaret Brashford rears up on her favorite horse to tell her husband to be good. Jack is sitting with his buddies, mulling over whether or not they should play tennis or drink long island iced-teas. Jack’s wife is a millionaire and has better than 30 years on him. A lot of assumptions can be made about their marriage, based on their age difference and her affluence. But Jack smiles lovingly as his wife rides off and continues to joke with his buddies. The smiles fade from their faces when Margaret’s horse returns without a rider. Topher activates Echo. When she sits up Adelle is standing there.“What’s wrong?” Echo asks.“Margaret, I am sorry to be the one to tell you: you’re dead,” Adelle replies. Apparently, Echo has been activated with Margaret’s persona.
The episode starts with that dorky guy from Hustle and Flow trying to buy some ice from Badger (who by the way is one of my favorite characters). It appears Heisenberg has cornered the market and jacked up the price. After the dorky guy assures Badger that he’s not a cop, he buys some glass…then arrests Badger. Hook up side note: Jesse got a little skin from his building manager Jane. In other news, Hank’s having a minor meltdown because Tortuga got his head blown up on that tortoise. So Walt goes over there to try to talk some sense into him. Walt tells him that “fear us the enemy” and that he should kick those responsible for the explosion right in the teeth. Once again, Jesse and Walt are short on payments from their underlings. Guess who’s short, good old Badger. They find out that Badger got busted. Badger is in an interrogation room getting hounded by that dorky guy (I refuse to imdb his name). And in busts Bob Odenkirk of Mr.
This weekend's coming in hot. A bunch of babes get their brains re-programmed and complete various secret missions in Dollhouse, Bob Odenkirk from Mr Show guests on Breaking Bad, and I hope your not flying anytime soon, because discovery is running a 2 hour marathon of devastating plane crashes on Sunday night. Right after the break, check out a portly foreigner on a beach who's surprised to see a 747 make a water landing right in front of him.
Domestic disputes, botched tracheotomies, stolen vehicles, and Tom Sizemore make for another interesting episode in this week’s installment of Southland TherapySherman begins his day by sharing a few words with his shrink. She’s moved from her private practice and it’s only her second day with the department. They talk about private school, and Sherman mentions that he used to attend private school until his father walked out on his mom. Then he went to public school. He reveals his family history for those of you who missed it last week. Sherman’s father was a defense attorney who had some seedy clients. At age ten his father split, but one of his clients visited Sherman’s home and beat up his mother while the boy watched.
The show opens with Liz Lemon and Jack and at a jewelry store where Jack informs Liz that he is buying Elisa an engagement ring. Liz is surprised but Jack informs her that Elisa is 'The One'. Pulling a classic Lemon, Liz then drops the ring down a heating vent. It then cuts to the TGS crew standing around with Kenneth explaining to them that they cannot bring in a box of donuts because of the risk of food allergies, including his own severe allergy to strawberries. It turns out that the box of donuts was actually just a prank to scare Lutz, who ends up falling back into a TV monitor and hurting himself.As Liz enters her office she finds Elisa who, unknown to Jack, has actually been back in town for three weeks. Elisa tells Liz that she has a terrible secret and cannot marry Jack. She asks Lemon to break the news to Jack, gives her a pretty unnecessary but awesome kiss goodbye, and is gone.
The episode opens, as the others have, with Leslie outdoors with some children. But this time, to digress from the other episodes, they are on a pre-teen nature hike (it used to be a teen nature hike, but they changed the name after a girl got pregnant, confesses Knope), where she unwittingly eats a poisonous plant for no apparent reason, and as her tongue begins to swell, the credits kick in. Welcome to Pawnee!
Tonight's Thursday night TV, packed to the brim (on NBC) with new episodes for three glorious hours, is your chance to start giving Parks and Recreation a chance. Yeah, it started a little slow, and sure isn't getting any love anywhere, but it's got a Poehler-load of potential and it's leaps and bounds funnier than other shows out there (plus, Rashida Jones is a BABE). So give P&R a whirl, and check out the full preview after the break.
J.D. struggles with the realities of being a part time father when he learns that Kim is now dating Sean, Elliot’s ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, Turk busts some balls to get promoted to the position of Chief of Surgery. Car SexElliot and J.D. are in the car on the way to Kim’s house to drop off Sam. Kim answers the door and adjusts J.D.’s collar. On the way home Elliot makes J.D. pull over for car sex so she can mark her territory. Elliot's possessive nature forces her to get intimate with J.D. if Kim so much as touches him. J.D. has found a way to make this work to his advantage. The next time he drops Sam off, he places a piece of fuzz in his own hair so that Kim will reach into it and pluck the fuzz, sending Elliot into a frenzy. Before leaving for car sex, Kim introduces her new boyfriend, Sean, who is Elliot’s ex and J.D.’s arch-nemesis. Making It Happen
The incredible turn around South Park has in commenting on current issues continues with Cartman deciding to take up the life of a pirate, as 'Captain Fatbeard'. Also, instead of a new Lost, ABC is running a retrospective giving us viewers a bit of break and a little explanation. Yarrrrrr preview after the break.
Check out this heartfelt promo that ran on Fox featuring Mary Lynn Rajskub from 24 reminding us all that going green is a group effort. GO GREEN WITH GIRL FROM 24 – Watch more Funny VideosI hope that Mary's 24 residuals are enough to cover her food, water and utilities in the cave she'll be hiding in for the next ten years so that angry Greenpeace types don't find her and strap her to a Killer Whale. Yes, that is precisely how Greenpeace exacts their revenge upon public figures like Mary, who've obviously been contractually forced to participate in these sorts of misfires, well meaning as they may be. That's why Greenpeace's slogan is "No mercy."
Mitchell Hurwitz, the genius behind Arrested Development, is back with a new animated show this Sunday on FOX. Former 'Developers' Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Henry Winkler lend their voice talents along with Cheri Oteri, Keenan Thompson, Will Forte, Nick Kroll and Kristen Chenoweth. Catch the pilot right after The Simpsons, and cross your fingers for more brilliance from Hurwitz and co. Also, Prison Break is back on after a near 4 month hiatus, with the first of it's last 5 episodes. Your preview after the break.