Funny Office Quotes

Sunday, August 28 by Raina Lorring

Remember your faviorte moments with these funny “Office” quotes. “the office” is a 2005 American TV series that is based off of a 2001 BBC TV series. The show is set in mock documentary style about the daily activites of a paper supply company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The regional manager is Michael Scott (Steve Carell), who is a deluded about most of life and has a twisted, sometimes insensitive, sense of humor. Michael’s most loyal employee, who he uses for any unpleasant task like spying on others in the office, is Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson). The office romance that viewers couldn’t wait to see get together is the slacker-salesman, Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and dreamer-receptionist, Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer). There is also the indifferent temp, Ryan Howard (B. J. Novak), who later becomes everyone’s boss but is then demoted to his former position for fraud. Other characters include: Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker), Kevin Malone (Brain Baumgartner), Angela Martin (Angela Kinsey), Phyllis Vance (Phyllis Smith), Meredith Palmer (Kate Flannery), Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), Oscar Martinez (Oscar Nunez), Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton), Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstien) and others.

“Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.” Dwight. This is said when Jim makes a fence of pencils between Dwight’s and his desk. The pair mess with each other throughout the season.

“Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.” Jim. Jim is good at his job. He also has a love and hate relationship with what he does.

“I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third.” Michael. This quote really reflects how Michael runs his office. It’s also probably why so little work gets done.

“I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might… It’s just, I don't think it's many girls' dream to be a receptionist.” Pam. In one episode the office is unsure if their jobs are secure. Pam, much like Jim, has a love and hate relationship with her position.

“I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.” Michael.In this episode Michael challenges Dwight to a fight.

“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.” Dwight. As a prank Jim sends Dwight’s resume off to several other companies that are far away. Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and… I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.” Michael. At times Michael has an almost child-like innocence about him.

“If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.” Ryan. When Ryan is a temp he clearly hates his job and feels he deserves better. It’s why he is so cocky after his promotion.

“I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60's, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors… in the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way on knowing.” Creed Bratton. This was said when the office finds out that Oscar is gay. Creed is one of the strangest people in the office.

-Tabatha Schroeder

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