Ari Gold Quotes

Saturday, April 16 by Mishka Bulldozer

If you love the show "Entourage," then you're going to love these Ari Gold quotes. Ari Gold quotes are amazing because they come from the mouth of the most profane super-agent Hollywood has to offer. Even for those who have no interest in the show, you have to admit that some of these Ari Gold quotes are, to put it simply, pure gold.

  1. "My assistant is to be gang-raped by a gang of one!" Always profane, and always pushing the limits, this is one of the best Ari Gold quotes that epitomizes the character perfectly. He never apologizes, and he's always will to one-up whoever he is talking to. 
  2. "You fire a man, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife." A lot of Ari Gold's charm, for most people, is his classic misogynist nature. So blatantly there, it's one of those things that can either be charming or obnoxious. For the most part, it comes off as the former. 
  3. "Call me Helen Keller because I'm a f*cking miracle worker!" This is one of the most audacious Ari Gold quotes because it takes a famous figure and almost neutralizes her with profanity. Of course, hyperbole is always one of the main reasons why people love all of these Ari Gold quotes.
  4. "It's lik high school. You can't f*ck the prom queen until she finds out that her best friend j*rked you off underneath the bleachers!" Sometimes, even the worst of Ari Gold quotes can contain some nuggets of wisdom. His long time in the movie industry allows him some unnatural insight into the way Hollywood works, which means he can get away with saying something like this.
  5. "You want to hug it out? Let's hug it out, b*tch." The ultimate of Ari Gold quotes. This has appeared on T-shirts, signs, and almost anything that isn't related to "Entourage." It was probably this that got you interested in Ari Gold quotes, which is why it deserves a spot on this list.

These are just some of the many Ari Gold quotes that are dropped throughout the show's run. For more, simply check out "Entourage" and you're sure to find Ari Gold saying something hilarious in just about every episode. 

-Mishka Bulldozer

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