Jon Stewart quotes are frequently peppered with politically hilarious, ironic, irreligious, sarcastic statements in which many times, there is to be found a grain of truth. Although, very politically incorrect, Jon Stewart presents his "Daily Show" as an alternative to the news, challenging what politicians say and poking fun at some grave issues.

  1. “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” This Jon Stewart quote is full of irony and paradox. The history of the beginning of the Thanksgiving holiday is less than savory, with the Europeans dining with the Native American Indians in a feigned show of peace and killed their neighbors.

  2. "Everyone just needs to get over themselves." This Jon Stewart "proverb" tells both viewers, politicians and stars that life is about not only laughing but also being laughed at. To successfully do this, people cannot take themselves too seriously.

  3. "There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is." This Jon Stewart quotation raises a concern with inequality and prejudice prevailing in the justice system. At the same time, he interjects the real tendency of people to have a favorite.   

  4. "President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing." This Jon Stewart quote remarks on an observation in which former U.S. President, George Bush Jr. declined in popularity, fell from favor. As a result, Stewart hilariously points out that the President is the only one who approves of his work, and uses the  term "senior slump" to denote his ageing.

  5. "If 'con' is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?" This Jon Stewart saying is a blow against congress casts doubt against its decision making, and weighing the pros and cons of the U.S Congress' progress.

  6. "After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'" This Jon Stewart quotation exposes blatantly the truth about the U.S' determination to go out to war despite U.N. prohibition. Here, Jon Stewart finds a way to mock the political situation by comparing the U.S. to a delinquent child and the U.N. to a parent.

  7. "And aren’t we out of money? You can’t simultaneously fire teachers and Tomahawk missiles." This Jon Stewart comment recognizes the contradiction in the U.S. government allegedly cutting down on the labor force, while waging a war that costs U.S. taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars per month to fuel. Stewart skillfully plays on the word "fire" a double-entendre mechanism which can signify either to sack, cut from employment or to project military weaponry. 

  8. "So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No."  Jon Stewart. This Jon Stewart quote is a sarcastic answer to a probing question regarding the glum destiny of democratized Africa. So far reading into current developments of third-world Africa, Stewart makes his  prognostication based on the past notorious record of human rights abuses, underdeveloped education sector, the heavy debt, and the pandemic AIDS which has decimated the African population.  

  9. “I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change&hellip I am far lazier than that.” This Jon Stewart statement summarizes his view of himself, his role in interviewing and satirizing politicians. He confesses that he cannot do what politicians do because he does not have the drive nor the will.