Deadliest Warrior Episodes

Friday, August 5 by Lindsay Mack

When it comes to TV that doesn’t suck, which "Deadliest Warrior" episodes would you grade as the most outstanding? Though just debuting in 2009, this show has already attracted quite a bit of awareness. For those who want a bit of cerebral stimulation out of your visual weeknight entertainment, then "Deadliest Warrior" is for you. Here, we’ll examine some of the better "Deadliest Warrior" episodes the show has had to offer (and these go in order of original television appearance).

  1. Viking vs. Samurai. Berserk Norse warrior against a speedy Asian, and not even the Viking’s precious chain-mail saved him from the samurai’s katana in the end. The Viking had only narrowly more kills than the samurai in a singl weapon test, and since this is Japan we’re talking about, it should be no shock that the Asian man with the sharp, stabby thing was the winner.
  2. Green Berets vs. Spetsnaz. This episode ruffled the panties of our delicate nation because we didn’t like that the meanie-head Russians beat us in some random, imaginary combat. Each side had assorted firing and exploding armaments and the Russians simply had the advantage most of the time weapons-wise. Definitely one of the better "Deadliest Warrior" episodes.
  3. IRA vs. Taliban. At this point, it seems there may be a pattern: Let’s pit America’s enemies against one another – hooray! This is yet another of the so-called controversial "Deadliest Warrior" episodes since it pits two terroristic organizations against one another. Each side seemed rather well armed, too: the IRA charged in with bombs and machine guns while the Taliban had grenades, mines, and assault rifles. Winner? IRA.
  4. Attila the Hun vs. Alexander the Great. Though both combatants in this face-off had an equal edge weapons-wise, Attila had a pretty commanding lead over Alexander the Great – almost 200 more kills. Sorry Alex, but this time, you just sucked too much to be deemed the deadliest warrior.
  5. Jesse James Gang vs. Al Capone Gang. How can you go wrong with not only a bank robber-mobster battle, but between two of the most notorious outlaw gangs in American history? This was a pretty neat match-up, but somehow, Capone’s side and their trusty edge-gaining Tommy guns did not win this fracas for them. But hey, the James side had the Winchester rifle, which dished up six fatal shots within five seconds. In this one, either side most likely would have been worthy of the ‘deadliest warrior’ title.
  6. Nazi Waffen SS vs. Viet Cong. This is another of the more contentious episodes because holy crap, somebody said “Nazi!” But our German friends are the ones who conquered these battles. Having a village-decimating flamethrower probably had something to do with that too. Deadliest warrior? Ohhhh yeah.
  7. Centurion vs. Rajput. Don’t mean to give the ending away up-front, but it sure was nice to see the Romans lose. The Indian Rajput’s arsenal had more kills in three out of four weapons tests (including the khandra, a sword that could cut flesh and bone easily), so out of the two, the Rajput was crowned ‘deadliest warrior.
  8. Celt vs. Immortal. This was a rather sweet match-up considering it showed chariot combat. And thankfully, the Romans did not win. They don’t need any more glory. The victor here was the Persian Immortal.
  9. KGB vs. CIA. Cold War intelligence at one another’s throats for the amusement on the American populace. The CIA showed up with a nice array of camouflaged goodies, such as the exploding cigar and briefcase gun alongside the simply-designed garrote. And hey, our Soviet buddies had similarly hidden stabby, shooty things: camera gun, shoe knife, and exploding document case. The CIA emerged as the ‘deadliest warrior’ and got a cookie and a cigar…hopefully for them, it was not their own brand.
  10. Ming warrior vs. Musketeer. The French versus the Chinese in this scuffle, and you’d think Asia emerging as the victor would have been evident. But, believe it or not, the French did something right in this episode and triumphed as the ‘deadliest warrior.’ It is hypothesized that the main reason the musketeers won is because they had armor and the Ming challengers did not.
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