Star Trek Ships That Spock Did Not Approve Of

Friday, October 28 by Shannon Ongley

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	Whether your favorite captain is James <a href=Kirk or Jean Luc Picard, most fans can agree on the best "Star Trek" ships. But what about the worst? In a fictional universe littered with so many ships, and a group of writers and special effects staff being asked to come up with a new one every week, not every vessel can be the Enterprise. Or even the Defiant. Sometimes, there comes a ship that leaves you scratching your head, wondering what they were thinking.

Star Trek Ships Mondor

Mondor. Although this ship is terrible by design, it still doesn't make sense, nor is it's premise truly explained. Piloted by a race of utter morons, whose only accomplishment is stealing from other races to "make things go," this freighter is a plain bucket, falling apart at the seams. Somehow these guys have managed to steal from lots of different races to cobble together this ship, but their weapons are so weak they may as well be shooting bottle rockets. Yet somehow, they've put together parts from many planets. And if you've ever tried to get computer parts from different manufacturers to talk to each other, imagine two pieces from different planets!

Star Trek Ships USS Curry

U.S.S. Curry. This was the first ship designed by Dan Curry, and he had the dishonor of having it named after him. Nicknamed the "Shelley" by fans, after Mary Shelley of "Frankenstein" fame, this horrible mishmash of ships was one of many ugly ships that were a result of the Dominion War story line. You can hardly blame the special effects guys for just taking pieces of other models and pasting them together with the number of new ships they had to come up with, but you would think someone would have mentioned to them that this creation looks more like a cruise ship on pontoons than a starship.

Star Trek Ships Bajoran Lightship

Bajoran Lightship. From a visual standpoint, the design on this ship is gorgeous, looking more like a Viking sailing vessel than a spacecraft. But think about it for a moment. Even satellites orbiting earth are always in danger from debris hurling through space at extreme speeds. All it would take is one piece of space dust the size of a grain of sand to rip through one of this ship's "sails" and you've just sentenced your crew to a slow painful death. Couple that with the fact that even the show admitted it was fragile and prone to accidental warp jumps which can tear the ship apart. That's exactly what happened to the crew of Bajorans to first fly this thing out of their solar system.                                                                               

Star Trek Ships USS Essex

U.S.S. Essex. A victim of poor design, this ship, with a globe instead of a saucer section, more closely resembles a sex toy than any battle vessel. Perhaps that's why every ship with the Daedalus class design that has appeared on the show has crashed into a planet, only to bring the Enterprise to rescue the corpses of the poor saps assigned to this vessel.

Star Trek Ships USS Stargazer

U.S.S. Stargazer. This was the ship on which Picard made a name for himself in his pre-captain days. The ship's motto was "To bring light into the darkness," and apparently the designers took this quite literally. Featuring four nacelles, this thing looked like it could light up half the Alpha quadrant with those glow sticks. Which would only serve the purpose of letting everyone see how stupid it looks.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                 —Shannon Ongley