"Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey Quotes provide millions with an oasis of sanity in a desert of sorrow and global despair. You may have had one of those revelatory "a ha" moments while while listening to Jack Handey, a mysterious and faceless voice who muses about the complexities of life on "Saturday Night Live". The following "Deep Thoughts" quotes featured here are likely to reignite your passion for life and help you live another day. 

  1. "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad." This insightful Jack Handey quote resonates with the millions of people who are scared of clowns. There's always something that triggers a deep fear. Sometimes it's helpful to find its source so that you can face the fear and cope with it properly. 

  2. "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world. Because they'd never expect it." The element of surprise is essential in warfare. Therefore, declaring war against a world without war would be very winnable. This "Deep Thoughts" quote by Jack Handey brings joy to the hearts of all who can't stand the thought of a hateless world. After all, good hearted people have a way of screwing things up for the rest of us. Therefore, no one is innocent anyway. 

  3. "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late." It's a common cliche that you can't pull mean tricks on a cute little tyke who looks up to you and trusts you. Who says that you can't take candy from a baby? Jack Handey's nephew is probably now a grown man who understands a good joke when he hears one. He's lucky to have an uncle and mentor who understands these things. 

  4. "I guess we were all guilty in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him and we all got a complementary bumber sticker that said 'I helped skin Bob.'" The first step to healing guilt is to own up to your past and take responsibility for your actions. This "Deep Thoughts" quote shows that Jack Handey is an honorable man who knows when he made a mistake. When was the last time you killed someone and made a firm decision to make amends on "Saturday Night Live"? Jack Handey certainly provides a great example to live up to. 

  5. "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." Trees are fun. You can climb them, pick nuts from them and even make syrup from their sap. Some companies even love to sever them from their roots for profit and leave everyone else with the wildfires that wipe out the post-clearcut generation of trees. However, what would "The Lorax" do if trees kept us up all night screaming and hollaring? Even this Dr. Seuss hero would declare war against these creatures in a heartbeat. "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey quotes make too much sense and this one is no different.