Remember all of the celebrities that died in 2009 and take some time to rethink that Chipotle burrito with these "South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quotes. The year 2009 was a big year: Barack Obama was sworn in as president, filling the country with a combination of hope and fear, but more importantly, the world lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, David Carradine, Michael Jackson and Billy Mayes in less than 30 days. While all of these dead celebs make an appearance in this episode, the best “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quotes don’t come from any dead celebs. The best “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quotes come from the boys and a disturbing side effect of Chipotle burritos.
Ike: "Make Billy Mayes go away! Make him stop Kyle!”
Poor Ike being tormented be the spirit of TV pitchman Billy Mayes has to be its own very special kind of hell. This “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quote sums up what a lot of people thought about Billy Mays and his products when he was still alive; however, now that he’s gone, late night tele isn't the same without his cocaine-fueled energy, weird products and awesome facial hair.
Patrick Swayze: “This is bad enough without having to listen to you sell your stupid crap Mayes!” Billy Mayes: “In just two easy steps I can walk over there and kick you in the fu*king nuts.”
With Michael Jackson refusing to believe that he’s dead, all of the dead celebrities are stuck on a plane in purgatory waiting to move onto the other side. The only thing that would have made this “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quote better is if Patrick Swayze would have given Billy Mayes a kick in the chops a la “Roadhouse.”
Billy Mays: “If you’re like other Americans you love Chipotle but hate the blood that it leaves in your underwear. But now there’s Chipotle-way."
This “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quote sums up everything that was weird and wonderful about Billy Mays and the weird products for conditions that probably shouldn’t exist in the first place. Being presented in a voice that is so loud, you will buy anything he’s selling if he will just shut his trap.
Kyle: "Why would you keep eating something that makes you crap blood?!” Cartman: “Dude, have you had Chipolte? It’s really good."
Yes, Chipotle is good stuff. But we will have to agree with Kyle on this “South Park" "Dead Celebrities" quote and say that you shouldn’t eat things if it makes you crap blood.
Kyle: “I don’t get it.” Stan: "I don’t get it either. I eat Chipotle all the time and it doesn’t make me crap blood.” Cartman: "Oh, well, nice Stan. Not all of us were blessed with the golden rectum of the gods, so for the rest of us there’s Chipotle-way.”
Part of the reason that “South Park” has been such a success is the evil genius that is Cartman and this “South Park" quote is yet another example of why people love this horrible little fatass. However, if your burrito makes you crap blood, it’s time to put it down and see a doctor. If you can’t do that, at the very least you should start working some vegetables into your diet.