Anytime you mix alcohol with robotics you’ll get the 10 best “Futurama” quotes.  In the future, aliens and humans are packed with humor, tasty carb-filled humor.  Here are the specials of the day:

  1. "War is the H-Word": Leela: "You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson." Zapp: "If it's a lesson in love, watch out! I suffer from a very sexy learning disability.  What do I call it, Kif?" Kif: "Urrghhh....sexlexia." Pain is comedy and watching Kif suffer under Zapp's command of the fleet and the English language is funny.  The adult world has its share of Zapps and Kifs waiting to be encountered.  Their interactions make "Futurama" one of the best comedies that wasn't stolen from the British.

  2. "A Pharaoh to Remember": Bender: "Louder and sadder!" The genius of "Futurama" is often in throwaway lines that worm their way into the brain.  This does have the side effect of making you unfit for most pharmaceutical trials but you can still give blood.  A world without Bender is a world much sadder and way less loud.

  3. "The Farnsworth Parabox": Farnsworth: "Buddha, Zeus, God! One of you guys do something! Help! Satan, you owe me!" A mad scientist can't be picky with divine inspiration.  Monotheism would lead to far fewer doomsday machines.  This line made Farnsworth into wrinkled perfection in the "Futurama" universe.

  4. "I, Roommate": Fry: "Hey listen Bender, where's your bathroom?" Bender: "Bath what?" Fry: "Bathroom!" Bender: "What room?" Fry: "BATHROOM!" Bender: "What what?" Here the future meets the past and gives a present day Abbot and Costello routine.  Replacing the old "Who's on first?", "Futurama" gives its own comedic spin to a classic.  Use with caution when in maximum security buildings and airports.

  5. "Fear of a Bot Planet": Bender: "And what a surprise, look who's scraping up the filth.  Is it a human child? I wish!" A Public Enemy reference and robot/child animosity places this as one of the great "Futurama" quotes. Only Bender could heap disdain and glass upon the current caste system with charm.  Some robots may dream of electric sheep but this one dreams of relaxed child labor laws.

  6. "War is the H-Word": Zapp: "We know nothing about their language, their history or what they look like.  But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don't stand for.  Also they told me you guys look like dorks." To explain the thinking behind wars and wrap it in humor is another gift of "Futurama". The power of the word "dork" haunts forever.  Pepper spray can't stop the truth of Zapp.

  7. "Love and Rocket": Planet Express Ship: "Bender don't lie, I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening.  Explain that!" Bender: "Okay I like a challenge." Comedy can defuse a situation or turn it nuclear.  Strive to cause collateral damage in life like Bender.  No one said life couldn't be comedic.

  8. "Attack of the Killer App": Hermes: "Play it one more time." Farnsworth: "No! It's humiliating and degrading to Leela, play it ten more times!" There are no truer friends than the ones who mock your failings.  Friends leave healthy mental scars as mementos.  Cherish friendship but never stop recording.

  9. "The Late Philip J. Fry": Farnsworth: "Just slow it down, I'll shoot Hitler out the window." If shooting Hitler isn't on the list of "Things to do with a Time Machine" then start over.  A lot of video game makers will cry but they'll understand with time.  Of the greatest cartoon fights in history, Farnsworth versus Hitler makes the grade.

  10. "War is the H-Word": Zapp: "Uh hunh uh hunh, that's whatever you were talking about for you." A fantastic quote to use on everyone, fans or not.  In the world, indifference with comedy is the hybrid to strive for and attain.  This is perfect for holidays with in-laws and snarky cats.

-Matthew Lagenfeld