Are you still watching your television like some sort of goddamn neanderthal? Enough! Join the 21st century and watch the season premieres of Shameless and Californication via the Internet as our cyber-gods intended. Just scroll down and press play, and you’ll be watching in no time. In fact, if you want, you can play them both at the same time. The future is here!
Of course, you’ll have to watch the remainder of the season on television, and you’ll also have to pay for Showtime to do it, so perhaps I was a bit hasty with that “neanderthal” comment. I apologize. I tend to get carried away.