R.I.P. T-Dog. It was nice almost knowing you.

Take a look at photos below. She’s like Spain’s answer to Kate Beckinsale. Which is a very good, very hot thing.

• Pay rent and broker’s fee
• Submit change of address to post office
• Split brains of current undead inhabitants
• Put up new drapes

Says showrunner Glen Mazzara says of the new season, “I’m incredibly proud of the prison. I think our crew has done a great job. It’s a huge sense of scale and magnitude I haven’t seen on any other show as far as construction. What’s important to us is the prison itself is now a character in the show. It’s a haunted house, it’s scary, it’s frightening, and there are parts of the prison that are always terrifying, that are always inaccessible to our group. It’s not necessarily the blessing that the prison in the comic book turned out to be.”

And for those who read the comics, Glen Mazzara has a pretty f***ed take on what is and is not a blessing.

But what if he didn’t? A man claiming to be the “departed” has come forward saying that he didn’t die, but rather was subject to a spell cast by a witch doctor, who then imprisoned him in a cave with a bunch of zombies. It’s like The Serpent and the Rainbow, only I’m not eight years old, so I can talk about it without urinating all over myself out of fear.

If the story sounds unlikely, then you’re implicitly calling rural Africans gullible, and you shouldn’t do that. You see, when hearing the news that the famed singer may not have shuffled the mortal coil as previously believed, they turned out in droves. And by “droves,” I mean that the riot police had to come out and turn the water cannons on them.

Oh, I should probably mention that the man in question doesn’t have the same fingerprints as the thought-to-be-deceased singer or the same scars on his body.

Shit. I wish they hadn’t put that all the way at the bottom of this article. That would have been good information to have up front.

Here are a few film characters who should never set foot in Oklahoma. Check out these baby eaters. In the meantime, I’ll have a salad.

Vampire – Stake Land

In Stake Land, the United States is decimated when a plague of vampirism sweeps through, turning the population into either bloodthirsty monsters or food. The film was well received by horror fans for it’s willingness to go there. “There” in this case being a scene where a vampire feeds on a still crying baby. Other films and television shows in the genre would have you believe that babies are a delicacy for the undead. I’m not sure he reasoning behind this, but I am a big fan of mini-bagels. I guess it’s the same logic.

Fat Bastard – Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

You surely have friends that will still yell “I ate a baby!!!” in Fat Bastard’s Scottish brogue. Get better friends. Moving on.

Not only has the show set records domestically, but its international roll out has been equally impressive, hopefully quelling some of this off-season’s concerns about budget cuts going forward. The word is that AMC took some money earmarked for The Walking Dead and purposed it for Mad Men, which is pretty silly, considering Mad Men doesn’t even have awesome zombie characters or gnarly post-apocalyptic sets.

While this announcement ensures the security of the show, nothing has been done to address the continued gripes of fans that the writing and the characters have not improved since the maligned, but successful first season. Perhaps they’ll just say, “To hell with it,” after news of the renewal and spend more money on zombie action, which is what the people want anyway.

Why would he be so awful and mean and deny us this one thing? THIS ONE THING!

Romero went on record as saying, “Listen, I love Frank [Darabont], I know he’s done a good job. I love the books, I never watched any of the episodes because… my zombies are sort of my own. I didn’t want to be part of it. ”

What a jerk.

He views his zombies as more of a “natural disaster” than the looming, malignant threat that many storytellers today have adopted. For this reason, he’s content letting the Darabont-less team behind The Walking Dead have at it.

I guess it’s not really that big a loss, because unless Romero could write multi-dimensional characters and non-wooden dialogue for The Walking Dead, he really wouldn’t be able to help them out.

While the success of these escape attempts proved to be mixed, there’s no doubt the characters involved would have been more successful had they trained in Parkour. Hence the premise on Break Media’s newest game,

Download the Zombie Parkour App to your iPhone or iPod Touch today, and guide your character through a maze of brain eating zombies while using you Parkour skills to stay alive, and see if you can last longer than the following six characters.

The Return of the Living Dead

Sometimes, in order to escape a mass of zombies, you have to do things you might not otherwise do under normal circumstances. Like in The Return of the Living Dead, unlikely partners Freddy and Spider make a plan to rush to an abandoned police car, swing back to pick up the other two members of their group, and get the hell out of there. But the sheer number of zombies forces Freddy to make a tough choice: They bail on their intended promise and put metal to floor – anything to get away from the zombies. He tells himself they’re going to go back for them, but both Freddy and Spider know the truth: There is no going back.

Dead Alive

Never let it be said that zombie movies don’t have happy endings. In Peter Jackson‘s Dead Alive, Lionel has to do a lot of terrible things to escape his zombie infested suburb, including literally mowing down hundreds of his former friends and family members, and taking a blender to them when the lawnmower stops being effective. But in one of the great zombie escapes – defeats, actually – he kills his giant zombie mother (long story) and walks off into the sunset, arm-in-arm with his girlfriend. If you’re a fan of zombie movies, you know just how rare an escape like this really is.

Night of the Living Dead

One of the recurring themes of zombie movies is that there IS no escape, and that any escape you might make from a horde of unthinking flesh-eating zombies is a temporary respite at best. This idea is captured perfectly in a famous sequence in Night of the Living Dead, in which a mother escapes a group of zombies by fleeing into her basement where she finds her daughter, who’s been turned into one of them too.

Since the actors were costumed all bloody and gory-like, there was some difficulty identifying who was seriously injured, which would have been a pretty great opportunity for any actors that may have had Munchausen’s Syndrome.

“Oh, no! I fell, and the injuries I have sustained from the fall have caused my lower jaw to rot off and my skin to turn grey. I need medical treatment! This is horrible! WHY? WHY?”

I hope they took the pain inflicted from the accident and put it in into the performance.

“This morning a private plane brought guns wrapped in a parcel from a company to an individual [in Budapest],” said Hungary’s Anti-Terrorism officials. “Guns like these are highly illegal to transport even if they were to used as stage guns, which hopefully they weren’t.”

Officials need to handle this threat more seriously. If those weapons fall into the wrong hands then the undead will easily overtake Budapest and then all of Hungary. The key to defeating the zombie menace lies in preparation. If we all band together as a global army and put our differences aside, we can send those geeks back to their graves. (Us)

The above video from the Glasgow set shows a stampede of people running as fast as they can away from the zombie threat, but not fast enough. With everyday that passes, this movie looks less and less like the book. At this point, don’t be surprised if the war element gets downplayed to a tickle-fight. (via FilmDrunk)

Boom, headshot:

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Emma Stone has signed on to play Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Variety is reporting. The film, which is being produced in part by Natalie Portman, retells the classic Jane Austen novel, but with an added bonus of the zombie apocalypse being used as a backdrop.

6 photosEmma Stone

There are no plans to shoot a pilot from the material just yet. But it would make sense for that announcement to come along as well. They can’t depend on the cast of “One Tree Hill” to give the only dead performances on the network. (Deadline)

Thanks to AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” zombies are a hot commodity in Hollywood. And with Zombieland 2 and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies already slated for production, America’s love affair with the undead shows no sign of letting up. But we all know it’s only a matter of time before this, like all fads, jumps the shark.

But until then, Hollywood is sure to churn out one Zombie-related project after another until they’ve scrapped the absolute bottom of the barrel. Some will be awesomely entertaining, most will be unwatchable, but each project will push us closer to the point of over-saturation. Here are seven examples we’re likely to see in 2011.

ZSI: Miami

The cops of”CSI: Miami” spend their days examining dead people. Why not cut out the middleman and put the undead on the case. Besides, Horatio Caine and company can use a fresh set of eyes, even if those eyes are rotting. Yeeeaaaaaaaah!

Habeas Corpus

This is America, damn it! Even the most wretched dirtbags among us are entitled to a fair trail. But what about zombies? How do you go about punishing someone who’s already dead? Life in prison? The death penalty? “Habeas Corpus” will explore the legal complications that are sure to accompany the zombie apocalypse.

Two and a Half Men

Everyone under the age of 50 seems to hate sitcoms like “Two and a Half Men.” What if the “half-man” in question wasn’t that fat kid, but someone who’d been devoured by a zombie? I smell an Emmy!

Undead On Arrival

Medical shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” are already running out of ridiculous plot lines. It won’t be long until zombies are thrown into the mix. Besides, I’m sure the zombie characters would be a lot more likable than Katherine Heigl.

16 and Pregnant…and Dead

Having a kid at the age of 16 is difficult enough. Try doing it when you’re dead. Yeah, it’s easy to sit there and judge that girl in the picture for devouring her own fetus, but remember; her body, her choice.

Zombie Leno

Considering the average age of a Leno fan, marketing his show to the undead is the next logical step.

Zombie A-cock-alypse

Porn films are made with such frequency that eventually, everything gets a parody (Shindler’s Fist, anyone?). So it’s only a matter of time before zombies make their way into the world of porn, especially if Zombie-ism is caused by a virus.

Somewhere, there’s a zombie precariously close to jumping over a shark.

Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy are being considered for roles in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Dread Central is reporting. If the rumors are true, McAvoy will play the part of Darcy, and Hathaway will play Elizabeth Bennett.

The film, which will be directed by Mike White and produced by Natalie Portman, is an adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith‘s zombification of Jane Austin’s classic tale. It will mark the 324th zombie-related project to be green lit since the mysterious outbreak hit Hollywood in 2007. What makes this particular bout of over-saturation so disturbing is that no matter how badly producers run zombies into the ground, they always seem to drag themselves back up. Stay tuned for Meet the Zombie Fockers. (Pajiba via Dread Central)

Let’s say you’re in charge of a new television show that becomes a critically acclaimed hit. What would you do to reward the writing staff? Would you…

A. Dole out a financial bonus.

B. Take everyone on an all-expenses-paid vacation.

C. Fire the entire lot.

If you answered C, you must be Frank Darabont. According to Deadline, Darabont has liquidated the entire writing staff of “The Walking Dead” and plans on utilizing freelancers for the show’s second season. This is probably due, in no small part, to the fact that Darabont ended up writing the first two episodes by himself, and co-writing the remaining four. While there is still the possibility that Darabont could change his mind or the network could protest, I’d like to recommend that the writers involved not hold out hope. After all, hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. (Coming Soon)

For those worried that the last bit of blood had been squeezed out of the zombie stone, you can stop worrying. It has. The novel Play Dead has been optioned to be a movie we don’t need. It tells the story of a high school football team who is murdered by the competition. Luckily, a local witch is a huge fan of the team and resurrects them. Mark Canton, producer of Land Of The Dead, has bought the rights and hired Joe Schreiber to write.

So, it’s come to that. A zombie football movie. A bunch of stiff-legged, slow-paced, uncoordinated, brain dead players ambling up and down the field. If the filmmakers are trying to save a dime, they should just edit in footage of the Buffalo Bills. (Variety)

If you’re having a hard time waiting for the premiere of "The Walking Dead, we’ve got something that might hold you over. AMC has unveiled a 17-minute behind-the-scenes featurette chronicling the making of Frank Darabont’s epic new Zombie series based on the Robert Kirkman comics.

My recommendation: starting tomorrow, watch one minute a day for the next 17 days. If my math is correct, that should get you to October 31st, the day on which the first episode will air. If my math is incorrect, I apologize. I went to public school. (First Showing)

Watch 17 minutes of "Walking Dead" goodness, after the jump…

Looks like NBC learned a lot about bad decision making during Jeff Zucker‘s tenure. Heck, he is the best at being bad afterall. The network is surely making their former teacher proud with the news that they’ve closed a deal on "Zombies vs. Vampires."

It’s a buddy cop comedy that follows two partners, one a zombie and the other a secret vampire, who are members of a squad dedicated to "zombie crime." Sounds ridiculous. But on the bright side, this will deflect the unfounded, premature hatred "$#@% My Dad Says" has been receiving. (Deadline)

Jon Favreau is putting on a brave face when discussing the dissolution of his bromance with Robert Downey Jr.. He’s spoken out about Downey’s need to jump off Cowboys & Aliens in favor of Sherlock Holmes 2 and seems to be a pretty good sport about it. He also tells The Playlist about the joys of working with Hollywood codger Harrison Ford.

"That’s sort of an inside joke between us," says Favreau. ‘I said, "You’re coming to Comic-Con with me’ and he said, ‘I’ve never been there. I’m not going. If you’re going to bring me, you’ve got to bring me in handcuffs.’ I showed up with handcuffs yesterday on the set from the prop man. And so he cam and wore the handcuffs on stage."

Which really was not a good idea. That room full of Crystal Skull haters ripped the restrained Ford limb from limb. Harrison J. Ford 1942 – 2010.

When asked about what we might expect to see from him next, Favreau responded that he’d like to take on the zombie genre. Prepare yourselves to see Vince Vaughn just eating everything in sight. More than usual.

I’ve never been a fan of fast zombies. There’s just something wrong with the idea of a corpse who can keep pace with a Vespa. Luckily, Frank Darabont subscribes to that school of thought and will present "The Walking Dead" stiffs exactly the way they are billed — walking. In an interview with AMC, Darabont cited Night of the Living Dead‘s zombie zero as the mold.

"For our zombie show I’m calling that the Book of Genesis, and whenever there’s a question about zombie behavior, I go back to ‘Night of the Living Dead.’ Here’s my favorite thing: the endless debate among the fans about how fast a zombie can move. There are the folks who just can’t stand seeing zombies running. I’m kind of in that camp, but if you look at the very first zombie in ‘Night’ – the one in the cemetery chasing Barbara, he gets up to a pretty good jog. I’m keying our zombie behavior off of that film: Whether they’re in a very languid state or they’re on the attack, they’ll move n faster than that first zombie in ‘Night of the Living Dead.‘"

Okay. I can live with zombies getting up to a light jog, but nothing more than that. Something around a 3 or a 4 on the "Rushing to the Bathroom Scale," is permissable. But by no means should they get up to a cotton-touching number like 7 or 8. (via Dread Central)

^{PEW. PEW. PEW.}

It’s been a long time since we’ve heard anything about the adaptation of World War Z. Max Brooks, the book’s author, spoke with MTV and gave the update that we’re about a month away from seeing a rewrite from Matthew Carnahan. After that point, it’s up to Paramount to decide when and how awesomely it gets made.

He also acknowledged that the style of the book is impossible to translate to film and commended the original script’s ability to weave a cohesive narrative from the numerous, sprawling entries in the book. Until we hear more, readers are advised to prepare for the impending zombie uprising. A nice way to do so would be with this combination night table/zombie-proof bat and shield. Also effective against cat burglars.

^{Superman rescues mini zombie. It doesn’t matter why.}

Since being picked up for series, casting news for Frank Darabont‘s television adaptation of The Walking Dead has been trickling in. We already know that Andrew Lincoln and Jon Bernthal are on-board to play Officer Rick Grimes and his partner Shane. Today there is a rumor that Brandon Routh will also join the cast in an unspecified role. This one is actually believable. Routh’s career is on an uptick as of late with a recent role on "Chuck" and one in the upcoming Scott Pilgrim. But who will he play?

We conducted a very scientific poll to find out which character he will most likely play.

• 10% of people believe he will play Glenn
• 12% of people believe he will play Billy Greene
• 13% of people believe he will play a brand new character
• 64% of people believe he will play Boyishly Handsome Zombie #3
• 1% of people are undecided

We’ll keep you posted as this story develops if only because that fancy polling equipment cost us a sh*t-ton. (Bloody Disgusting)

Thanks to the folks at Bloody Disgusting, we get a sneak peak at George Romero‘s latest attempt to breathe more life into the zombie horror genre (pun blatantly intended). There’s everything you’d expect in the trailer below: zombies, humans, guns, brains, stilted dialogue. We don’t watch these films for the breakthrough performances though, we watch them because we feel compelled to on the off chance that something blows our brains out of our skull (oh man the puns are so goooood)! Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think. Is Survival of the Dead going to be better than Land of the Dead? 

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Cast: Kenneth Welsh, Kathleen Munroe

Synopsis: On an island off the coast of North America, local residents simultaneously fight a zombie epidemic while hoping for a cure to return their un-dead relatives back to their human state.

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– MATT SEARS

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