Enough is enough. Famous people have two things we normals don’t: money and access.  By turning to crowdfunding, they’ve gamed the system, cashing in on their fame to make any project they want with no risk to their own bankroll, and owing no profits to their “investors” if its a success.

We need to send them a message that this is NOT OK, and with your help we can do just that…

We’ve put together a full-page advertisement telling everyone we “Don’t back Zach.” We’ll need $10,000 to run it in the local film & TV industry magazine, the Hollywood Reporter, and if we hit $200,00 we’ll go national in a magazine like Entertainment Weekly.  And if we get $5,000,000 we’ll carve it into the moon! All funds will be returned if we don’t hit our 10k goal!

That’s easy. People HATE Zach Braff.

Take Tim and Eric‘s Tim Heidecker for instance. He wrote this not-very-funny vitriolic page of script to parody or satirize or something the effort. Take a look.

Technically, Braff’s project, Wish I Was Here (ugh), is a “follow-up” to Garden State, and not a sequel, but I’m incapable of believing that it will take place in a different universe than Garden State, so I’m sticking by the headline.

Braff will star in it, natch, and will play a down-on-his luck dad who has to homeschool his kids. It was written by Zach Braff’s brother, which is comforting only in that it means it wasn’t written by Zach Braff.

Here’s the link, because it’s actually pretty interesting, and I don’t see the need to make fun of some of the stuff he writes when you are perfectly capable of doing that yourself.

Enjoy!

That would be a good slogan for ABC’s upcoming series Garage Bar, but let me be clear that me suggesting a title is not the same as granting permission for them to use it. They have to pay for that right.

While they’re mulling over a cash offer, let’s talk about Garage Bar. It’s being written, directed, and produced by Zach Braff, perhaps in an effort to become a more feminine version of Lena Dunham. I’m interested to see what kind of bar Braff designs. My guess is it has several fireplaces and the only offerings are warming brandy and wasabi peas.

I hate Garage Bar.

Coming this fall, I guess?

All that ended yesterday with an all-day “AMA” session on Reddit.com. For those of you with jobs, let me explain that Reddit is essentially a user-generated portal where web denizens post links to funny stories, memes, and pictures of kittens doing stuff. And “AMA” stands for “Ask Me Anything,” a Q&A session made famous by Ashton Kutcher (which should give you an idea of the type of news we’re dealing with right here).

He revealed that he would “most like to guest star” on Zooey Deschanel‘s new Fox show The New Girl, presumably because they both cater to a similar type of Whole Foods-y quirk and angst that everyone at your advertising agency can agree on. He also shared that he’s written a play, All New People, that he’s hoping will premiere in London’s West End next year. I’m sure we will give that one a lot of coverage on our sister site, PlayJunkies.com

The marathon chat session quite literally lasted all day, and I’ve got an article on hot movie lesbians to write, so feel free to check out the back-and-forth in its entirety right here, but please put on your smug boots and smug slicker before wading into this thing.

“Braff will play the role of Frank, the loyal but under-appreciated assistant to Oz (James Franco), a charismatic circus magician who is treated as a powerful wizard after his balloon blows off course into Oz and the townsfolk want him to eradicate a Wicked Witch and bring peace.”

Multiple James Francos Converge On 'General Hospital'

Boom. Not only do you now know the character Braff is playing, but you also know what the movie is about, and that James Franco is in it. Boom.  More infobombs: Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams, and Rachel Weisz are all in it too. Can you handle all this information? (Deadline)

Now this is drama! I watched the Tribeca Film Festival selection The High Cost of Living, and this is exactly what I’m looking for in a heavy story. Writer/director Deborah Chow just throws the most awful situation at her characters and watches them deal with it.

Henry (Zach Braff) is a prescription drug dealer. Nathalie (Isabelle Blais) is a pregnant woman neglected by her workaholic husband Michel (Patrick Labbe’). After a night of partying, Henry hits Nathalie with his car. But, this movie doesn’t just coast on the tragedy of a dead baby.

Nathalie survives but she has to keep the dead fetus in her womb until the hospital can schedule an operation. Can you imagine? Henry tries to check up on the accident, but since he committed hit and run he can’t be straightforward. It’s smart of Henry to check the newspaper for birth notices, hoping he can confirm that his victims made it out okay.

Henry gets his landlords’ kid Johnny (Julian Lo) involved, running errands to find Nathalie at the hospital or at her home, the spot of the accident. Trying to explain all the conditions Johnny has to follow so he doesn’t give Henry away is more drama.

Meanwhile, it’s still going to be more weeks before the doctors are willing to schedule Nathalie’s surgery. She has to go meet people with her belly, and they all assume it’s still a living baby. She can’t have a drink without people commenting that a pregnant mother shouldn’t drink. Nathalie should just blurt out, “I’m carrying a carcass inside me!”

That’s when Henry sees her and steps in. He doesn’t care if she drinks. He sees a pregnant tummy and thinks he’s off the hook. Then when she tells him, imagine going from “Whew, it all worked out” to “Oh my God, I’m a baby murderer” in an instant.

The whole situation is impossible. How could Henry make up for something so awful? Does he even have the right to try? Then Nathalie starts coming out of her shell thanks to his friendship, so he’s instrumental in both her trauma and recovery.

The film ultimately plays out in that familiar way. Henry’s about to confess but Nathalie reveals something else so he can’t drop the bomb anymore. The police investigation spirals until Johnny becomes the suspect.

Even with that structure, the depth of drama simmers throughout the film. It never feels like Oscar bait. The drama is the priority and the filmmakers and actors both fulfill their service. Now if Oscars happen to come their way, they’ll deserve them.

He’s set to join Jessica Biel and Chloe Moretz in Th Devil And The Deep Blue Sea. The film follows a man grieving the loss of his wife. He befriends a young girl and agrees to help her build a raft to cross the Atlantic.

That’s really no way to cope with grief. Yes, sending Chloe Moretz off to certain doom may seem appealing at first, but what you’ve really got to do is just get back out there. Try online dating. The risk of doing time for endangering a minor is way, way less. (Movieline)