So watch this brief, vaguely interesting video of a crappy house being made.

PS – This is also your birthday gift this year. Don’t blame us. Blame Obama.

That was about as inquisitive as I get about movie mashups, so please forgive the fact that it wasn’t a question at all.

Anyway, there’s a whole grip of these things that have been handpicked by the folks at Spotter, so let them do the heavy lifting while you do some heavy sitting.

FDR: American Badass demonstrates that a wheelchair is only a hinderance if it’s not totally souped-up with rockets and turbo and things like that. He’s like the Rocketeer, only unable to walk.

Lest you think this is some tedious, low-budgetproject destined to grow stale on the virtual shelves of YouTube, I ask you, then, what is William Mapother doing playing the doctor here? Oh, I’m sorry, is a supporting character from Lost and In the Bedroom not a big enough star for you? What if I told you he was Tom Cruise‘s cousin? What then?

In case you’re not sold, the video also features Nazi werewolves and Jay-Z‘s “99 Problems.”

Just watch the damn video, please.

There are actually a few gems out there that might keep your mouse away from the dislike button. Are are my 6 choices for web series that are worth watching.

The Guild

The Guild is hands down the best web series out there.  Set around the real life members in a World of Warcraft guild, Codex (Felicia Day) decides she and her guild members should all meet in person and, naturally, hilarity ensues.   The great thing is you don’t have be into World of Warcraft to enjoy it (though it is marketed towards Gamers).  It’s not so much about the game as it is the relationships that develop from them meeting each other, and having Geek Goddess Felicia Day as the star doesn’t hurt either.  Now in their fifth season, it should only take you a few hours to completely catch up.

RCVR

If you like the X Files (which I know you all do), then RCVR is the web series for you.  Set in the 1970s, we follow Weber (Daniel Bonjour), a government agent tracking down a crashed Air Force jet in Rural Arkansas.  Naturally, the closer he gets to the answers, the stranger things become. Produced by Machinima, RCVR has some of the best web series production quality I’ve seen so far.  If you’re into conspiracies, UFOs, and little green men, RCVR is well worth it.

That said, the grandmother does make some very good points. Road trips ARE fun. And Snooki is an asshole. Right on both counts, Granny.

Also, I’m thinking of Grandma wearing a romper and peeing. Not my favorite thing.

Go about your Monday.

Also, I disagree on her “green tea is the shit” stance. Chai is where it’s at. 

No wonder the mom or dad whipped out the video camera for this thing. Seeing Star Wars (and Empire and Jedi) for the first time is a seminal moment in anyone’s life, but the fact that this little moppet was rocking a Daily Bugle t-shirt leads me to believe that he might like this type of thing more than most.

I’ll bet you even money this kid shits himself when he watches The Sixth Sense for the first time.

The following are a few films you might want to consider watching to learn more about dating a Marine.

Heaven Knows Mr. Allison

Mr. Allison shipwrecked with a nun

Mr. Big Skies (AKA John Huston) himself directs Deborah Kerr and Robert Mitchum in this 1957 classic. Mitchum finds himself shipwrecked on an island in the South Pacific after his marine recon team gets ditched by a nava submarine during an enemy attack. Lucky for him he’s not marooned alone, finding a beautiful nun who was also abandoned during an evacuation to share the island with. Do we see love on the horizon along with an approaching Japanese ship? Take a guess what happens next. Dating tip to take away from this oldie but goodie—don’t except a marine to make the first move, unless they’re drunk on sake.

Born of the Fourth of July

Tom Cruise dancing in Born On The Fourth Of July

Tom Cruise definitely has some 0n-screen experience when it comes to the marines. Defending them as a Naval lawyer in A Few Good Men, but not before playing one in Oliver Stone‘s second film about the Vietnam War. In Born On The Fourth Of July, Cruise plays real-life marine Ron Kovic, who enlists in the service as soon as he’s eighteen and gets shipped out the day after his senior prom. Kovic’s horrific experience in Vietnam leaves him wheelchair-bound and disillusioned with America and its war machine; he then devotes his life to anti-war activism. A few things to note: marines often declare their feelings less that 24 hours before deploying to a dangerous, war-ridden foreign country (but not before getting in a last dance), and, big surprise, they might have some issues after coming back.

Full Metal Jacket

Full Metal Jacket "Me Love You Long Time"

Stanley Kubrick‘s take on Nam, Full Metal Jacket is full of useful info about the life of a marine—from the degradation of basic training, platoon hazings involving bars of soap and what type of sexual propositions a marine is used to. Just to recap, Full Metal Jacket follows a platoon from basic through their stationing in Vietnam, and like just about all movies about Vietnam, is highly anti-war at its core. However, this is beside the point for our purposes. What you need to take away is this: you better be prepared to love them long time.

Jarhead

Jake Gyllenhaal reading in Jarhead

Another true story, Jarhead focuses on Operation Desert Storm, following Anthony Swofford as a marine in the Persian Gulf. Among the many things to worry about during war, most of the platoon is worried about their ladies back home being unfaithful to them while they are so far away for so long. Unfortunately, this proves to be true in many instances, even for our leading man. Upon returning home, he finds his long time girlfriend with a new boyfriend. The moral is: marines can be paranoid, but sometimes it’ justified. If you’re going to date one, you better be faithful. And if you can’t be, take a cue from Brian Dettman’s ex by rallying a neighbor to make a homemade porno with you and sending it on an unassuming VHS copy of The Deer Hunter. It’s a classy move.

Flags of our Fathers

Holding up the flag in Flags Of Our Fathers

We’ve all seen the iconic photograph of the marines holding up Old Glory during the fiercest battle in Iwo Jima in  WWII. Flags Of Our Fathers tells the story of the story of the three men who held the flag and survived, the heroism the country bestowed on them and how undeserving they felt of all the attention in the end. Word to the wise, when it comes to dating a hero, remember that survivors guilt can be a bitch.

The Great Santini

Blythe Danner shows Mila how to date a Marine

The Great Santini reminds us that despite our attempt to write this as a humorous article, the sacrifices that both Marines in Uniform, and their families make are no joke.  This film depicts the disconnect between a Marine Aviator (pilot for you landlubbers) who runs his family like a military unit, and his family who just want to be loved unconditionally.  It is not just returning combat veterans that deal with PTSD, but unfortunately their entire family must deal with this as well.

We are incredibly proud of the men and women who serve in our armed forces, and would like to suggest to our readers that if they liked this article then they should visit the Wounded Warrior Project, because the worst thing we can do is to forget about the sacrifices that have been made for freedom.

However, after spending the past hour on YouTube looking at Emma Watson tribute videos, I think it’s safe to say that a few fans will probably have a hard time saying goodbye. In fact, based on what I’ve been seeing, I’d be shocked if at least one obsessed maniac didn’t try to capture the actress in order to keep her in his basement and slowly eat her skin. With that in mind, I present to you 5 creepy fan-made Emma Watson tribute videos. Enjoy, and “Broktoon” to all!

5. Suddenly I See – by KiwiFashionista

Suddenly I see…the reason they invented restraining orders. Seriously, matching these lyrics to a video of a grown woman might be acceptable (and by “acceptable” I mean slightly less creepy), but setting this song to images of girl who isn’t even 16 just screams “fire up the rape van and let’s go cruising!”

4. Sweet Sixteen – by emmawatsonsf

“A music video I made for Emma Watson’s birthday, since she turned 16 on April 15th, 2006. Happy birthday, Em. XP”

Translation: “It’s your birthday, and I long to be reborn into your flesh.” Seriously, who wouldn’t be creeped out by birthday wishes from a stranger? Given half a chance, this person would skin Emma Watson alive. Keep an eye on your house pets, Emma.

3. Lunch with Mystery Man – by portolux

This video is only 15 seconds long, but it manages to pack in at least ten minutes worth of creepiness. In case you can’t tell from the title, it’s just some still images of Emma Watson having a private lunch with a friend. Normally, this would be called stalking, but since the pictures are set to pop music, I guess that makes it OK. I can’t wait to see the follow-up video, “Emma Watson defecates on my toilet cam,” set to the soothing sounds of Joss Stone.

2. ‘Requiem’ – by baudinello

When I started this article, I was under the false impression that creating a montage of Emma Watson photos set to cheesy pop songs was kind of creepy. How wrong I was. The people who do that sort of thing seem well adjusted compared to baudinello, a YouTube user who made an Emma Watson tribute video using Mozart’s The Requiem Mass as the background music. After all, nothing says “I’m your biggest fan and I love your movies” like funeral music. That’s not disturbing in the least.

1. I love you more with every breathe i take – by Emmaurthe1

In a world as cynical as ours, it’s nice to see someone who is willing to put it all on the line for love. At least it would be nice, if that person wasn’t in love with a mediocre actress who he will never even meet. But don’t tell that to Emmaurthe1*. Based on the scrolling text he’s inserted into this tribute video, Emma Watson is all he ever wanted, he will love her for forever and a day, and to top it all off, he is willing to die for her. Don’t beleive me? Skip to the 1:30 mark, and you’ll see the following quote…

I would die for you Emma just to prove my love to you…

Seriously, would anyone care to wager on how many Harry Potter Lego sets this guy has sexually violated? Sweet Jesus, someone reach out to him before Emma Watson’s head ends up getting the Se7en treatment.

*I’m assuming that Emmaurthe1 is a guy. Sorry for being so ‘hetro-normative.’

The feature length film — cut from over 4,500 hours of footage sent in by participants from 192 countries — will premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on January 27. It will be concurrently be live-streamed on youtube.com/lifeinaday at 6 p.m. MT.

Among the film’s numerous subjects are a Russian freerunner touring Moscow on foot and a Korean man who has been riding a bicycle around the world for nine years. Personally, I’d love to see a rundown of footage rejected by the filmmakers, which I’m assuming includes hours upon hours of such beloved YouTube fare as crippling nutshots, awe-inspiring face plants, and obese people running into things on Segways. (/Film)

Have you always wanted to co-direct a movie with Ridley Scott but have been prevented from doing so by your crippling fear of 30 Odd Foot of Grunts guitarist Russell Crowe? Good news. Scott and State of Play director Kevin MacDonald are partnering with YouTube and Sundance to give everyday sacks like you the chance at finding your inner filmmaker.

The documentary will be called Life In a Day, and feature video entries from DIY filmmakers around the world. The only real guideline is that you need to shoot and submit your footage on July 24th, 2010. Everyone whose footage is selected will receive a co-director credit in what is surely to be the longest opening credits sequence ever. This idea has actually sparked the imagination of several directors. In fact, Uwe Boll‘s firsthand experience with Epic Fails has him in talks to direct Break: The Movie (Ed. Note: Lie), and Brett Ratner is spending a lot of time on ChatRoulette. A frightening amount of time actually. (THR)