Last night after a special screening of Young Adult at the Arclight cinema in Hollywood, actor Patton Oswalt and host Garry Shandling discussed the film and took questions from the audience. During a lull in the requisite ass kissing that goes on at such events, Shandling pulled out a printed Yelp review of the movie theater’s parking lot, and asked Oswalt to perform it as a monologue. Happy to oblige, Oswalt launched into an emotional tirade written by Yelp User Jason O., who is extremely unhappy about Arclight’s policy of not fully reimbursing customers for their parking.

Our whole experience was really good up until the end. Now I do not know if this is something the theater has any control over or not. We had to pay $2 for parking WITH the movie theater validation! WITH VALIDATION! (maybe it was $3) I have no problem paying for parking but the whole idea is that you validate so you don’t have to pay. Let’s go with a smart parking facility as an example. Sherman Oaks Galleria charges for parking and that makes sense. If you are using their big fancy convenient parking structure you should pay for it. Now the businesses want you to come and spend money there so they compensate you so that you will not go to a similar business that does not make you pay for parking. Naturally if you go to a store or a shop at the Galleria it covers you for a little bit of time. If you get dinner or drinks from a restaurant it covers you for like 2 hours. And if you go to a movie it covers you for 3 or 4 hours. If you go to a movie and then you dick around for an hour and a half you will have to pay a little bit. THIS WHOLE THING MAKES PERFECT SENSE! Does anyone not get this? Why would the Hollywood location’s validation only cover part of the cost of seeing a movie?

I love this theater but this parking this is stupid. Oh well, maybe someday they will change that. Until then I will stick to theaters with real parking validation.

And with that, Jason O. can now claim that his work has been performed by two of the most innovative comedians of our time. However, he probably shouldn’t get too cocky. As Shandling said in reference to the review, “And I thought I had no life because I’m on Twitter.”

Cast: Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, Patton Oswalt

Synopsis: Soon after her divorce, a fiction writer returns to her home in small-town Minnesota, looking to rekindle a romance with her ex-boyfriend, who is now married with kids.

Release Date: December 16, 2011

6 photosCharlize Theron

Question for you, though. Say you’re chilling in your small Minnesota town and then your crazy ex returns with hopes of ruining your marriage and whisking you away. But, she looks like Charlize Theron. Do you go for it? In this instance I say no. That’s solely due to the fact that she has a little dog she carries around with her. I’m not picking up after that thing.

6 photosCharlize Theron

“Young Adult is actually a really cynical film,” she said. “It’s a drama and I’m interested to see how people would receive it because I don’t think it’s what people are expecting from me.”

As opposed to that whimsical film about teen pregnancy. But yeah, Juno had a happy ending, for all its sarcasm. Young Adult won’t be quite so, as Jeffrey Wells suggested when he asked Cody a question, congenial.

“Congenial I think is a good word to describe the Jason Reitman body of work and I think the characters tend to have these redemption arcs that are very satisfying. Jason’s a really nice guy and I feel like I’m really dragging him down into the depths of misery for this film. But it is definitely a more stark realistic story about a woman who’s having some serious personal issues and dealing with them in inappropriate ways.”

Young Adult may even be controversial. But hey, if you don’t like it, you’re just lime green Jello. “I hate to get all feministy on everybody like I always do, but I think particularly it’s going to be difficult for people to watch a woman behave in this manor. We see a lot of male curmudgeons in films and we’ve been trained to root for them but I don’t know if that’s going to be the case for this movie. I absolutely love Young Adult and I’m really excited for people to see it, but it’s definitely not super consistent with what Jason Reitman has done, and particularly what Jason and I have done together.”

Then Cody wrote a major Hollywood teen franchise. “I wrote Sweet Valley High, this amazing series of teen books from the ‘80s that really desperately needed to become a major movie in my opinion, so I wrote the script. I can’t really talk about it that much yet. However know, ladies, that it’s moving forward and I’m very excited about it.”

Sharp-eared readers might remember that Simmons also provided a small voice over appearance in last year’s True Grit, showing that he might be on his way to being one of “those voices,” like Morgan Freeman or Tim Allen. This also isn’t the first time he’s worked with Reitman and Young Adult‘s universally beloved screenwriter Diablo Cody, having appeared in their previous collaboration Juno.

Young Adult also stars Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, and Patton Oswalt, and “follows the story of a divorced 30-something young-adult fiction writer (Theron) who returns to her Minnesota home to chase after her now-married-with-kids ex-boyfriend (Wilson) with Oswalt playing a semi-crippled ol high school acquaintance who befriends the narcissistic and misguided female.” Now just imagine that being said by J.K. Simmons, and you’ll have a good idea of what the movie will be like. (The Playlist)

Patton Oswalt has signed on to play Charlize Theron’s chubby best friend in Young Adult. Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, who last worked together on Juno, are teaming up again for the film about a woman who returns to he high school town to basically stalk her old boyfriend like she’s Marky Mark. The guy’s got a wife and kid now though, so he’s not interested in Charlize. Not interested? His Mrs. must do crazy sh*t in the sack.

Josh Brolin decided he couldn’t pretend Charlize isn’t worth leaving his wife for and now Patrick Wilson is in talks for the role. Seems like a missed opportunity to put Wilson in a fat suit and cast him as the best friend and Oswalt as the ex-boyfriend. I’d love to watch Charlize beg Oswalt to have sex with her and he looks up at her with stern eyes and proclaims, "No, Ugly!" (/Film)

^{"No funny stuff, lady."}

Josh Brolin is considering letting Charlize Theron ruin his life. I thought Jonah Hex already took care of that, but I guess not. Brolin is up for the role of Charlize’s ex-boyfriend in Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody‘s next collabo Young Adult. If he signs on, Brolin will play the forme high school sweetheart to Theron’s successful YA author, who she decides to stalk. I hate when statuesque model types try to break themselves off a piece o’ this.

The movie is said to have a few humorous moments, but for the most part it will be "pretty serious and f*cked up." Just like that E.T. porno that’s been making the rounds. No, I won’t link you. Look it up, perv. (Showbiz 411)

Jason Reitman has signed on to direct Diablo Cody‘s latest screenplay, Young Adult. Reitman, who also directed Cody’s teen-pregnancy film, Juno, will have Charlize Theron as a lead, playing an author who finds success writing under a pseudonym.

The film will be Reitman’s first since directing the Oscar winning Up in the Air, and will be Cody’s first since penning the box-office bomb, Jennifer’s Body. If you combine those two titles, you have Up in Jennifer’s Body, which I think sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than Young Adult, but that’s just me. (Cinema Blend)

Mandate Pictures has optioned Diablo Cody‘s Young Adult which she describes as "pretty serious and f*cked up." I take that to mean that the characters won’t refer to one another as home-skillet.

The script is about a fiction writer who moves back to her hometown and begins to stalk he high school sweetheart, who is now married with a child. Here’s Cody describing her motivation for the project:

"You don’t get to see women be antiheroes that often, where it’s like somebody like Mickey Rourke, who gets a comeback in The Wrestler. It’s rarer that you’ll have a studio say, “Let’s have an actress come back and be ugly!”

This is very true except for the Oscar contenders Monster, Frida, Boy’s Don’t Cry, Precious, Transamerica, and the, ummm, Kid’s Choice Award-nominated Ugly Betty.

On a side-note, why does Diablo Cody look like a completely different person everytime I see her? Is she a shape-shifter? I bet it’s that she’s a shape-shifter. (Vulture)