Featuring:
Nerdist and G4 Personality: Alison Haislip
Comic book writer: Mark Andreyko
Comedian/Actor: Mike Carlson

That quote wasn’t just uttered by your stoner friend at 11 PM on a Saturday night, but also (allegedly) by some studio exec, who must have been a stoner and probably said it on a Saturday night. Possibly while stoned.

Danzig, in an interview with LA Weekly, said he that he had been approached to play the X-Man, but passed on it. That’s pretty interesting, but not as interesting as his follow-up comment as to how he would have played the iconic comic book hero in X-Men.

“It wouldn’t have been as gay.”

Excuse me, I just got blasted in the face with a firehose of awesome. Is this going to sow the seeds for a Glenn Danzig-Hugh Jackman feud? I don’t think I’m jumping the gun when I say “absolutely.”

This whole post is a charade for me to post this:

Have a safe, solemn, and bitchin’ Memorial Day, readers.

No word yet if Jackman will take the role which previously once belonged to Tom Hardy, Johnny Depp, and Viggo Mortensen. But it’s nice to be in the top four. His number one priority right now is Wolverine but with a devastated location and no director, it doesn’t seem likely that will happen as soon as planned. It would make sense that Jackman jump on this.

Or maybe he’ll be too busy promoting that movie where he has balls on his chin. (Deadline)

Here’s Jeph Loeb, Marvel’s Head of Television, on the casting:

“Adrian and Milo are perfect as Iron Man and Wolverine. It’s extremely exciting to see these talented guys take on two of the most iconic Super Hero roles of all time.”

Both movies, about the Japan-set adventures of the super-heroes, are set to premiere on G4. And there are Blade and X-Men anime movies in the works as well. So people who like seeing super-heroes with huge eyes definitely have something to be excited about. (via ScreenRant)

Well, it had to happen: Darren Aronofsky is out of the director’s chair for the new Wolverine movie. There’s an old saying in Hollywood that you’d all be smart to start living by: Not even adamantium claws can separate Darren Aronofsky and his family. The majority of the film, starring Hugh Jackman, was to be shot overseas, and the actor had always stated that that would be something of a dealbreaker for him:

“As I talked more about the film with my collaborators at Fox, it became
clear that the production of The Wolverine would keep me out of the
country for almost a year,” Aronofsky said in a joint statement with
Fox.

“I was not comfortable being away from my family for that length of
time I am sad that I won’t be able to see the project through, as it is
a terrific script and I was very much looking forward to working with my
friend, Hugh Jackman, again,” he continued.

Aw man! It’s undeniable that Aronofsky’s involvement gave the film instant cred it wouldn’t have had otherwise, but it looks like that’s not on the table anymore. Perhaps he and Jackman can collaborate again on The Fountain 2: Metaphysical Time And Space Boogaloo. (Hollywood Reporter)

Of course, that’s just my interpretation of his comments. It may not have helped that I imagined him spouting these quotes off really quickly and with a sweaty face, but it sure made reading them more fun. (Via /Film)

Regarding the ability to explore new territory in this installment:

I sort of even wanted to do that in the third X-Men movie at first, but we thought, no, we really need to establish who he is at first, and we did that [with X-Men Origins: Wolverine], and now this is sort of the cherry on top, to finally do it and have Darren Aronofsky direct it.

Regarding getting super-huge to play the new, stockier Wolverine:

I don’t know how much I want to give away about it, but Darren said with the last one, ‘Hey you looked great, but you’re so tall that in those long shots you looked kind of like Clint Eastwood, and that’s not Wolverine.’

I always think of Mike Tyson when he first came on the scene. Sometimes, he was a full foot shorter than his opponents and bent over [with this] massive build. There’s real power. You said bulldog, and that’s it exactly. Exactly. That’s what I’m going for, and if I have  a massive heart attack first, well, you tell everyone what I was going for.

Jackman has been consuming 6,000 calories a day (possibly in stem cells) to add weight, so let’s all say a quiet, dignified prayer that the Hugh-go-naut will keep the weight on long enough that we can see a stocky, roid-ed out behemoth smiling and singing show tunes at the next Academy Awards.

In addition to revealing the film’s lack of Logan, McAvoy says Professor X was supposed to be bald in the movie, but studio heads nixed the idea. I guess they don’t want this cool, pretty, badly-Photoshopped cast of mutant freaks to be mucked up by a baldo. This “freed” up McAvoy to not have to do a Patrick Stewart impression, and he gives us details on how the young telepath is different:

You look at the kind of main, defining characteristics of Professor X, of Charlie Boy, and you go, ‘Alright, he’s selfless. He’s a saint. He’s sexless, it seems. He’s egoless. He’s all about other people. He’s all about bettering the world and mutantkind and humankind.’ And so you kind of try and flip that on its head. You don’t make him an evil person, or anything like that, but you make him ego-driven, women-chasing, he likes a good drink. He’s not the reluctant leader that you kind of want all heroes to be. He actually kind of wants to be in charge, you know what I mean? And all of those things, just to kind of show a journey. So by the end of the movie he’s some way towards becoming Patrick Stewart[‘s version of the character], rather than just having the same guy at the beginning.”

Oh, and to fanboys who’ve skimmed over the rest of the blog to find more news about Wolverine’s absence: welcome to the end of the blog. There is no more news. No Wolvie. I suggest you bring your replica metal claws to the theater to make up for his absence. Movie ushers love that stuff. (Cinema Blend)

Good news, Avengers fans! The film has a plot. Bad news, Avengers fans. The plot may involve Demi Lovato.

AICN is reporting that the film will revolve around the Skrulls and Kree, two alien races that any Marvel readers should recognize. And Radar Online is reporting that the film might feature Demi Lovato, an alien any prepubescent Disney fan should recognize.

I haven’t been this excited about a cameo since I found out will.i.am was appearing in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And I won’t be this excited again until I find out that will.i.am has been ripped apart by pitbulls. (Cinema Blend)

Darren Aronofsky discussed some of his plans for the Wolverine sequel (which I guess means this is actually happening), and it sounds like this could be a really good movie about a guy who has knives jutting out of his metacarpus. First off, the sequel is going to completely disavow its predecessor X-Men Origins: Wolverine, in favor of being a standalone (read: awesome) film.

In order to distance it from the previous misfire, the film will not be called Wolverine 2, rather The Wolverine. Aronofsky’s talent for telling dark, gritty, complex, thoughtful, character studies should be well-applied to Logan’s time spent in Japan, and highlight the more tortured aspects of the mutant. Though I’m excited to see a Wolverine more grounded in reality, I do feel an “ass-to-ass” scene between Wolverine and Sabretooth would be completely out of place. Please do not include. (HitFix)

^"SNIKT!!"

We’d heard the rumors but they sounded too crazy to even qualify. Yet somehow, against all laws of nature, Darren Aronofsky is in talks to direct Wolverine 2. Aronofsky surpassed rumored shoe-in David Slade to win the honor of directing the second film in this so far pretty sh*tty franchise, just days after it was announced that Zack Snyder won the Superman directing duties.

May be a case of Justin Bieber punk’n us all, but if not, at least we have a director who can artfully convey Wolverine‘s frustration with the world that won’t accept him as he surfs on a missile or whatever ridiculous action set-piece makes its way into this film.

Where this leaves Preacher or movies that are a good idea for Aronofsky to do, we do not know. But if you ask me, this move is in direct reaction to the failure of The Wrestler action-figure line. Apart from the Marisa Tomei Lapdancer dolls, those things just didn’t sell. (Deadline)

David Slade, director of Twilight Eclipse, 30 Days of Night, and Hard Candy, is the lead contender to helm the sequel to the X-Men Wolverine spin-off, the aptly titled, Wolverine 2. His sole competition is Robert Schwentke, who last directed The Time Traveler’s Wife, and has the upcoming Bruce Willis vehicle, Red. Hugh Jackman himself will pick the winner, so let the ass-kissing begin. According to Vulture, "A well-placed source inside the production insists: ‘It’s going to be Slade.’" Looks like someone already sent a fruit bouquet to someone else’s house.

I suppose I’d prefer Slade to Schwentke since I’m big fan of Hard Candy and he made the least sh*ttiest Twilight movie, but I feel strongly that the sequel to Wolverine couldn’t be any worse than the original no matter who’s directing.

Oh no. I’ve gone and done it again. I’ve said the words that release the evil genie who travels on a bed of Cheetos dust.

RATNER!!!!!

Hugh Jackman had better turn in his Man Card. Dude, just passed up the chance to play beauty parlor in Avon Man in favor of lifting a bunch of weights. OMG! What a fop!

Sure, you can say that Jackman dropped out because the shooting schedule shifted, and he needs to get his arm muscles up to par for Wolverine 2. But we all know the truth, he’d rather just play with balls and lift weights all day. Hugh Jackman is just way too manly. Pretty much everyone knows that. (Deadline)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine‘s Sabretooth wants you guys to know that he’d really like to be in the sequel. At a press conference for Repo Men, Liev Schreiber told reporters that Hugh Jackman has told him about the script but he’s not sure if he’ll return (though he really wants you guys to know that he totally would if asked).

"I just had dinner with [Hugh Jackman] last night and Hugh read the first draft of the script and I was really excited about it. It’s still not clear whether or not Victor will be present in the Japan storyline. In the Japan storyline as I remember it from the Wolverine comics, Victor wasn’t there. So I don’t know, of course I’ve got my fingers crossed because I love the character so much, to have the chance to do it again would be a lot of fun, but I’m not sure."

So, was Hugh Jackman trying to rub it in his face or what?

HUGH: Oh, mate. The new Wolverine script is excellent. Too bad you won’t be a part of it. Terrific stuff.

LIEV: Oh man. That sucks. I guess I’ll just have to stay home and bang Naomi Watts for four months.

HUGH: Yeah, that’s cool too. I s’pose. If you’re into that sorta thing.

(via io9)

1980′s nostalgia continues to boom at Paul Reubens has announced that he’ll be dusting off the red bow-tie. The LA Times reports that Pee-wee Herman will perform onstage in Hollywood this November for a limited engagement at the Music Box @ Fonda. Perhaps if this run is successful it will lead to the big screen productions Reubens has been trying to get off the ground for the last nine years. The actor stated, "I’ve put part of him away for a long time but part of him has always been here with me. I think it will be like riding a bike — which is not a bad analogy for Pee-wee, by the way." Although his humor is off the beaten track, I’m glad that Reubens decided to pound the pavement and put this show together. His laziness was beginning to rub me the wrong way. On an unrelated note, I wonder if he listens to The Strokes?

Check out these big adventurous morning links…

In any case, it’s another success for JJ Abrams to celebrate. In tribute to Mr. Abrams, here’s a video from the Fin Brothers that posits what would happen if Trek met Lost.

See the rest of the weekend Box Office Estimates after the jump:

1. Star Trek – $68 million ($75 million total)

2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine – $28 million ($131M total)

3. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past – $10.5M ($30.5M total)

4. Obsessed – $6.5M ($56M total)

5. Next Day Air – $4.3M ($4.3M total)