Will Gluck, director of Easy A and Friends With Benefits, is coming aboard to revise the script (and probably add an Andy Samberg character) and direct with the hopes of a 2014 release. Jay-Z remains on the project as a producer and musical supervisor. That girl from Beasts Of The Southern Wild hasn’t joined yet but you just know. (Deadline)

This announcement is big news for the 25th anniversary of the awards show, which celebrates the greatest performers in the arts by just douching them with green slime to raucous applause, something the Oscars and Tonys simply refuse to do. Nickelodeon president Marjorie Cohn asks, “How better to celebrate 25 years of Kids’ Choice Awards than with the biggest movie star in the world?”

Dammit, Marjorie! You know we don’t have an answer to that!

She then furthers my ire by boasting, “He’s a larger than life presence who knows how to play big, and we’re excited he’ll be taking the stage for the biggest, loudest, messiest spectacle in the show’s 25-year history.”

Hmm. Based on that description, look for Will Smith to convert the audience to Scientology en masse while Jaden’s body rips apart in the final stage of his metamorphosis into Beelzebub.

The awards take place March 31st at 8 PM Eastern/Pacific on Nickelodeon. You won’t want to miss it, earthlings.

4 photos‘Men In Black’ Will Smith And Josh Brolin Have Sweet Jetpacks In New Set Pics

Actually, she’s well-suited because of her prior scripting work. She wrote Sense and Sensibility as well as the Nanny McPhee films. That paints an awesome visual of Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel and Freeway sitting around watching Sense and Sensibility together. All really quiet and really engrossed. (Vulture)

There’s no word why first-choice Murphy dropped out on contention for the project being produced by Will Smith, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Jay-Z but it probably has something to do with Murphy’s mangling of Jay-Z’s Empire State Of Mind. There’s no way he’s letting that man near his beloved Hard Knock Life. (Deadline)

Rumor has it that Will Smith is working on the screenplay for Men In Black 3. Frankly, we’re just giddy at the thought of the man who wrote “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” transferring his writing prowess to the big screen. Who knows what wondrous surprises are in store for film goers? Actually, we do. Here are 10 possible surprises in Will Smith’s upcoming Men In Black 3 screenplay.

10. Zach Galifianakis and Betty White are shoehorned into the story as the “fat bearded alien” and the “old lady alien,” respectively.

9. The script is peppered with no-less than 14 references to I, Robot that will be understood by less than 1% of the audience.

8. The script contains an extended sequence in which a drunken Rip Torn tries to break into a bank.

7. Instead of aliens, the MIB now protect us from sexy, homoerotic vampires.

6. Agent J is now accompanied at all times by a dorky, sweater-wearing robot named Carltron Banksbot and a jive-talking green sidekick named Martian Lawrence.

5. Smith’s children, Jaden and Willow will play the aliens Egotron and Vanity, Twin Emperors of the planet Narcissist.

4. Agent J travels back in time to warn his mom and dad about the threat of an alien assassin. Unfortunately, his parents just don’t understand.

3. It is revealed that aliens have been visiting earth since the first “Willenium.”

2. Tommy Lee Jones has been completely written out of the script because Smith found his character to be “too old.”

1. It’s discovered that the only way to bring the invading aliens down is by whipping one’s hair back and forth.

Special thanks to Penn Collins and Wookiee Johnson!

This move seems a little redundant, as I assume anyone that likes”Glee” would already line up to see this remake. See, if the producers Smith had gone a different direction, like Tarantino or maybe that Winter’s Bone gal, then they could have tapped into two audiences. Missed opportunity on their part.

What does all this mean, other than “I’m still not going to see this movie”? It means that the producers, aka “Willow Smith’s parents” take the musical aspect of this production seriously, but not seriously enough that they’re not going to dumb-down the influence of Jay-Z on the project. I can just imagine a production meeting with Will, Willow, Jada, and Ryan Murphy all gabbing it up about which Katy Perry song to introduce in the third act while Jay-Z sits across from them, slowly, methodically banging his head on the table, only to lift his head up and with a solitary tear streaming down his face. (Deadline)

Willow Smith, who has whipped her hair back and forth so many times at this point, she might have permanent brain damage, may star as the little orphan in a new version produced by her rappin’ dad. Jay-Z is in talks to produce a new score. “Parents Just Don’t Understand” how to not pimp their children to Hollywood every second. First Jaden Smith stars in Karate Kid, then Willow Smith gets a single, and now Willow gets a movie, so does Jaden get a video game or something?

What a lousy Willenium this is turning out to be… (Cinema Blend via Variety)