Well, she did. And now it’s gone. And it’s never coming back.

The fact that the show was titled Love You, Mean It with Whitney Cummings makes us want to make with the confetti and kazoos in celebration, but the fact that it’s probably going to be replaced with something Chelsea Handler related means that the kazoos will fall out of our mouths, slack-jawed, and the confetti will be stuck to our face with dried tears any moment now.

Don’t get us wrong, though, we’re all still holding out hope for the TV adaptation of Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, provided of course, that the show lasts for only one episode consisting of Handler being forced to butt-chug a handle of Popov.

(As a TV journalist, I am legally obligated to put the terms “coveted” or “prized” or “much sought-after” in front of the “18-49″ demographic.)

Back to Animal Practice. Animal Practice was a terrible show that starred the guy from Weeds. It was about vets, but only as much about vets as it was about monkeys acting like little people. It’s been pulled from the line-up and will be replaced by Whitney on November 14th.

Until then, it’s unknown what will go in its timeslot. My vote? I would just cut my losses if I was NBC and put the “Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld in any schedule gaps. Who would complain? People who like Whitney?

I don’t think so. Those people don’t exist.

What was going to be the launch of an NBC Friday comedy block is now going to be home to some Grimm reruns, and we can thank the “success” of NBC’s season launch for the move. The network, having finished first in adults 18-49 (Yup. You read that correctly.), has decided that any marketing effort put towards the Community and Whitney launch will detract from the current effort behind all that crap they show earlier in the week. THR posits that NBC doesn’t know how to market the two shows yet, and that’s the reason for the delay.

In any event, Grimm reruns. Yay, Grimm.

The New Girl

Zooey Deschanel is a bit like that girl with borderline personality disorder you met during your first semester at college. At first you were glad she was hanging around you all the time, making cute faces and riding your junk raw. After a month or two, though, creepy habits like photographing you in your sleep and going through your email got old — to say nothing of her weird habits like keeping her piss in jars. America is going to drop this show like you dropped that girl, except this show won’t show up uninvited and try to stay with you for the next six months.

Whitney

You know what television doesn’t have enough of? Relationship comedies. Or stand-up comedians trying to make the transition to the small screen. So it’s a good thing NBC has brought us this sitcom about a simple gal trying to inject some new romance into her relationship. One thing is certain: in 2011 there’s nothing America loves more than multi-camera comedies with a laugh track. This one is clearly going to go far.

The Playboy Club

Mad Men might be the hottest show on television today. The big three are rushing to copy it, with Pan-Am (which is a crapshoot) and The Playboy Club, which is dead in the water. You know what was awesome about the real Playboy Clubs of the 1960s? Dudes like Don Draper taking bunnies into the cloak room for a quickie right before forgetting their name. This show would work like gangbusters if it were on HBO or Showtime. On NBC it might be hip, but it certainly won’t be sexy.

Let’s have a look…

WATCH IT:

The New Girl (FOX), Premieres Tuesday, 9/20 at 9 pm

This may not be the obvious pick since FOX sitcoms are generally not the strongest and NBC has been shoving Whitney down our throats like crazy, but don’t be fooled by the Peacock’s aggressive marketing campaign.

“The New Girl” stars Zooey Deschanel as a woman who splits with her boyfriend and then becomes a roommate with three dudes. Zooey Deschanel is great to watch and the comedy in this mostly comes from the relationship she has with her new roomies. I’m thinking this may be a slow starter — like last season’s Raising Hope — and then shape up to be a pretty decent show.

SKIP IT:

Whitney (NBC), Premieres Thursday, 9/22 at 9:30 pm (ET)

I might soon be eating my words on this one, but I say don’t even bother with this. Sure, Cummings is hot (just insert your own joke at this point), she does have some occasional funny stuff, but must she scream every line at us? To me, this show is going to be like her act — funny for the first few minutes, then it’s just loud repetition.

But if you do want to tune in — the mute button is recommended — you’ll be watching Cummings starring as a chick living with her boyfriend and together they learn to deal with being unmarried, their home life, outside relationships and all that crap. This show will probably make it, but I won’t be watching.

THE REST:

2 Broke Girls (CBS), Premieres Monday, 9/19 at 9:30 pm

I like Kat Dennings and her “I could give a shit” approach to comedy and acting and this show looks kind of entertaining. It stars Dennings and another chick none of you know as waitresses in a diner. They are polar opposites, but form a buddy comedy-style friendship and decide to go into business together. Nothing ground breaking, but there is a laugh or two to be had.

Suburgatory (ABC), Premieres Wednesday, 9/28 at 8:30 pm

I loved some of the cast, but when they are in a show centered around a teen from the city that makes a move to the suburbs, I probably don’t need to say anything further. I’d rather read a book. And I never read.

Now that you’ve gotten comedy, the lowest form of entertainment, out of the way – it’s time for the dramas. Below we have clips for shows like “Prime Suspect,” “The Playboy Club,” the Inception-inspired “Awake,” and more.

There you have it! If you start them now, you might be able to finish before Monday morning.

- “Up All Night” is a single camera comedy, starring Christina Applegate as a working mother who never thought she’d be a mom, but guess what: she totally is. Maya Rudolph and Will Arnett co-star, with Emily Spivey and Lorne Michaels executive producing. Network executives are convinced that one day, Arnett will star in a ratings-generating sitcom. It has been foretold by the sitcom elders.

- Steven Spielberg came up with the idea for “Smash,” a drama about a group of musical folk producing a Marilyn Monroe show on Broadway. It’s been described as”Glee” for adults, so please keep it the hell away from me. Starring Debra Messing and Katharine McPhee, Spielberg co-wrote the pilot with Theresa Rebeck. I’ll tune into Spielberg’s other show instead.

- Based on her stand-up routine, Whitney Cummings‘ cleverly titled multi-camera comedy “Whitney” is about the trials and tribulations of a young couple in a committed relationship. I’m guessing someone’s mother on that show will ask why they’re not married. Laughter will then ensue.

- Maria Bello stars in “Prime Suspect,” a female NYC detective trying to “make it” in a male-dominated precinct. We’re all rooting for you, girlfriend. It’s based on a British mini-series starring Helen Mirren.