While Bardem has appeared in many acclaimed films between the two, it‘s clear from the set pics of Skyfall that he appeals to mainstream audiences only when befitted with a terrible, terrible wig.

Of course, it’s not that strange a phenomenon. Some of the most lauded roles in Hollywood have been played by actors and actresses in terrible wigs. However, there is a definite hurdle to clear when wigs go from “terrible” to “terribly awesome.” Let this list serve as an inexhaustive inventory of the latter. Bad hairstyles that manage to go all the way around and be great again.

Let’s go through this list and appreciate bad hair, so long as we don’t have to wear it or date it.

Though he does sound like a pretty irresponsible care-giver, he’s not nearly as bad as the so-called authority figures on this list.

Buck Russell – Uncle Buck

The problem here is that he’s a total lout. He swears, drinks, smokes cigars, drives a death trap, and punches clowns in the face. Though he’s rough around the edges, Uncle Buck’s Buck Russell really does love his nieces and nephew. Having trouble with a teacher at school? He’ll tell her off so harshly it shatters her world. Need to eat a giant pancake? He’s your man. Got some notorious cherry popper trying to get into your pants? He’ll kidnap him and then give him brain damage by beaning him with golf balls. The dude deserved it for wearing that lame beret.

Chet Donnelly – Weird Science

There are probably better candidates for running the household in your absence than a crazed wannabe Marine. Chet Donnelly isn’t just gung-ho and stupid. He’s equally as sadistic. And this is a pretty gung-ho and stupid guy we’re talking about here. When left in charge, he bullies his younger brother, extorts money from him, and even holds a firearm to his head. Dude definitely deserved a set of elephant balls.

Mrs. Baylock – The Omen

You can’t accuse Mrs. Baylock of not caring about the boy she nannies for. If anything, she’s a little too into her job. A devout Satanist, Baylock is the perfect choice to watch over Damien, the son of Satan. These two get along like gangbusters. However, she loses points for killing Damien’s mom and attempting to kill his father. In a field like that, good references are key, so don’t kill your employers.

NASA seems confident that the risks to human life are extremely small. However, if movies have taught me anything it is that satellites can be extremely dangerous. They can be used to cripple world economies, spy on Will Smith, and even raise the dead. So, please enjoy your last moments on Earth with these 5 movie satellites that could kill us all.

Scoop VII – The Andromeda Strain

The Andromeda Strain points out the inherent dangerous side effect of sending something into space. Namely, Space Rabies. When the Scoop VII satellite crashes into a New Mexico town, it brings a deadly virus with it referred to as The Andromeda Strain. Great. I’m worried enough about Earth viruses. Am I going to have to worry about alien ones now too?

Unnamed Satellite – Night Of The Living Dead

Okay. If the idea of a space virus sounds far-fetched, how about the much more realistic possibility of harmful radiation from space? Could happen, right? In the case of Night of the Living Dead, harmful radiation from a downed satellite causes the Earth’s dead to rise from their graves and begin eating the living. Which I really hope can’t happen and doesn’t happen this weekend. I have plans to go see the Descendents.

SkyLab – Wet Hot American Summer

A piece of NASA’s SkyLab (the original space junk) threatens the campers at Camp Firewood. Luckily, an astrophysics associate professor from the local college is on the scene and shows the campers how to build a device that will protect them from certain doom. However, it’s unclear whether or not SkyLab returned with any space viruses that raise the dead. But I kinda hope it did. That would be an awesome sequel.

It’s highly unlikely and wildly unnecessary, nonetheless, since it’s one of the funniest and most absurd films in the past decade, let’s hear director David Wain out on his thoughts for a Wet Hot American Summer prequel:

“The prequel would be the same summer so they would be 20 years old for the part yeah, but not younger. So it would be 40-year olds playing 16-year olds. And yeah, we’re in the early stages of thinking about that.”

I liked the concept of 30-something actors playing 16 year-olds in the first one, so it stands to reason that I’m downright giddy about their 40 year-old selves revisiting their idiosyncratic characters.

6 photosElizabeth Banks

Of course, we’d also like an “Arrested Development” film and for the guys behind Pirates of the Carribean to knock that crap off, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. The original Wet Hot featured familiar, but not-yet-famous actors such at Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Amy Poehler, Elizabeth Banks, and Molly Shannon. Of that group, I would hazard a guess that Molly Shannon is 100% available, and the other actors might be a bit more of a chore to tie down.

Let’s imagine how great this would be if it happened, then adjust expectations. Frankly, I don’t see why they would even need to use the same actors. The cast was largel unknown when the original was released and Wain & Co. seemed to do pretty well with them.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters.