Screen Junkies » Wachowski Brothers http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 26 Sep 2014 19:56:02 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 6 Technologies That Would Have Kept ‘The Matrix’ Safe From Neo http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/6-technologies-that-would-have-kept-the-matrix-safe-from-neo/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/6-technologies-that-would-have-kept-the-matrix-safe-from-neo/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:11:37 +0000 David Dietle http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=242268 Ever heard of a "firewall," guys?

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The Matrix movies have now been around long enough to qualify as “classics,” whether you liked the sequels or not. As such, there are many of us “enthusiasts” that have sat and watched them enough times to notice that while Larry and Andy Wachowski may know a thing or two about framing Jesus as a Kung-Fu master who likes 9 millimeters, they apparently knew shit about computers when they wrote the ground-breaking series. Here is a list of technologies that existed when the Matrix movies were written and that my almost 10 years of experience in IT tells me would have buttoned up the series in no time.

Hardened Electronics

I am going to start off by stepping out of the Matrix world for a second to explore something equally as iconic; James Bond. I am going to guess that if you have not been living off your own excrement for the past 20 years, you have at least a passing knowledge of the movie Goldeneye.  If you do, you might remember part of the plot involved a pre-”Jean Grey” Famke Jansen stealing a helicopter using her thighs. The whole reason she and the other villains took it was because it was “hardened”, meaning it was built with electronics that could shrug off the radiation ionization caused by a sudden pulse of electromagnetism… otherwise known as an “EMP”, the human resistance’s sole weapon against the machines in the real world. I mention this because Goldeneye came out years before the first Matrix movie, and the ideas behind that whole thing have been around since the Cold War was actually a thing, meaning that the machines would probably A) have a working knowledge of hardening and B) would probably work that shit into every last piece of hardware they built. Think about it, you have access to technology that makes you essentially impervious to your enemy, why not use it?

Packet Sniffers

For anyone who has ever set up a network, home or otherwise, we all know security is a big deal. Even if you just know that “they” can sneak around your network if you don’t secure it, you are at least somewhat aware of the fact that there are programs out there that let people look at information passing from computer to computer and analyze it. Given the right kind of thinking and hardware, they can pull your personal information right out of thin air, right? Like maybe a giant godamn hovercraft broadcasting information into your network? The basic idea is that the machines likely could have looked at the data passing between these ships and their own network to find out who is poking around in their system and kill them. Or, you know, use a freaking firewall.

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Wachowskis, Hanks, And Tykwer Unite Forces For ‘Cloud Atlas’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowskis-hanks-and-tykwer-unite-forces-for-cloud-atlas/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowskis-hanks-and-tykwer-unite-forces-for-cloud-atlas/#comments Tue, 12 Apr 2011 20:57:16 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=206717 If the Wachowskiscan get gold from Keanu Reeves, they should be able to get enriched uranium from Tom Hanks.

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Wow. This project has some serious potential. The men behind The Matrix (Andy and his transexual bro/sis Lana Wachowski) are working with the director of Run Lola Run (Tom Tykwer) to create a film adaptation of Cloud Atlas, a story that tracks the ramifications of one human’s actions on others in the past, present, and future. It’s complicated, but the Wachowskis and Tykwer have excelled in this nebulous, mind-bending arena before, and they’re not alone in this.

They’ll get some help in front of the camera from scrappy young upstart Tom Hanks, who has signed on to star in the long-gestating project. Filming on the project starts in September, though few other details are known. Deadline cracks this egg of knowledge on us, conveying Cloud Atlas is:

An epic story of humankind in which the actions and consequences of our lives impact one another throughout the past, present and future as one soul is shaped from a murderer into a savior and a single act of kindness ripples out for centuries to inspire a revolution.

I’m just gonna trust the team to make it a really good film, because I have no idea what the hell I just read.

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Wachowskis to Remake ‘Robin Hood’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowskis-to-remake-robin-hood/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowskis-to-remake-robin-hood/#comments Wed, 08 Dec 2010 09:01:14 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=11673 The Wachowski siblings have taken a break from their film about American servicemen engaging in hardcore gay sex in order to work on the next best thing: a Robin Hood remake.

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brothers siblings have taken break from their film about American servicemen engaging in hardcore gay sex in order to work on the next best thing: a Robin Hood remake. While the project is being kept under wraps, it is rumored to be a modern take on the classic tale. It is also rumored that Will Smith has been approached for the lead role. I really hope he takes it. The world needs another crappy rap song loosely based on a crappy movie. (Heat Vision via Empire)

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Wachowski Brothers’ Film to Feature Gay Soldiers Hating Bush http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowski-brothers-film-to-feature-gay-soldiers-hating-bush/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/wachowski-brothers-film-to-feature-gay-soldiers-hating-bush/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 For years, I've been writing the major studios and begging them to make a film about American servicemen engaging in hardcore gay sex and taking part in a plot to kill George W. Bush. And for years, the Secret Service has been asking me to stop. And stop I will, now that my requests have finally been answered by none-other than the Wachowski Brothers (or whatever you call them now) and their new film, Cobalt Neural 9. The story starts off as, yes, a hardcore romance between the American soldier and the Iraqi soldier during the second Gulf War-- they are depicted "rutting like animals behind this fence" while wearing burqas-- but when disaster strikes, the two plot to kill the man responsible for the war: George W. Bush. Wow, I'm not sure that will play in Peoria. But then again, I could be wrong. After all, two dudes wearing burqas and "rutting like animals" still sounds less gay than Wachowski's live action version of Speed Racer. (Cinema Blend)

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For years, I’ve been writing the major studios and begging them to make a film about American servicemen engaging in hardcore gay sex and taking part in a plot to kill George W. Bush. And for years, the Secret Service has been asking me to stop. And stop I will, now that my requests have finally been answered by none-other than the Wachowski Brothers (or whatever you call them now) and their new film, Cobalt Neural 9.

The story starts off as, yes, a hardcore romance between the American soldier and the Iraqi soldier during the second Gulf War– they are depicted "rutting like animals behind this fence" while wearing burqas– but when disaster strikes, the two plot to kill the man responsible for the war: George W. Bush.

Wow, I’m not sure that will play in Peoria. But then again, I could be wrong. After all, two dudes wearing burqas and "rutting like animals" still sounds less gay than Wachowski’s live action version of Speed Racer. (Cinema Blend)

 

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