The Oscars want to demonstrate they’re more the same than ever with this parody piece.
Unlike Shia, some of them won!!
Professional big British dude Vinnie Jones is interested in opening a chain of British pubs with fellow Redcoat Jason Statham. In fact, they've been talking about it for some time but their schedules have never let them a lot of time to dig in. Says Jones with rounded vowels:Jay has been working so much and so have I. The pubs will happen. We had a great spot right opposite the pier in Santa Monica. They just wanted too much rent. Me and Jay went to look at it and we had three other investors, all Brits. The mates discussed calling their chain "The Snatch Bar," which would be a decidedly disappointing place to hold a bachelor party. Rather than naked skanks and coeds, the place would be crawling with Australians. **slide whistle sound as erection deflates**This news will undoubtedly be a let down for 50 Cent, who has approached Jones about opening their own chain of English pubs. Jones however, was not interested. Either he felt it would work better in British hands or he and Fitty couldn't see eye-to-eye on the name "In Da Pub." (WENN)
Jean-Claude Van Damme and Vinnie Jones will team up in a film called Weapon, to be directed by Russell Mulcahy, the man responsible for Highlander and Resident Evil: Extinction. Weapon is the story of rival assassins, sharpshooter Jack Conway (Jones) and knife-wielding Derek Chase (Van Damme), who must blend their skills to foil the head of a drug cartel. A knife man and a gun guy can't get along? Where's the tension? They serve two different purposes, really. I would have much rather heard the following synopsis:
Director: Russell MulcahyCast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vinnie JonesSynopsis: Jack Conway (Jones) and Derek Chase (Van Damme) are the two best assassins in the world — but unknown to each other. While Conway is a master sharpshooter, Chase is equally skilled with a knife. These two rival assassins form an uneasy alliance to take down the head of a drug cartel, which is backed by the DEA.