There’s so much disbelief to suspend here but I’m really having the hardest time getting past the whole hot chicks hanging out at the water park thing. I’m sure they know people who own pools.

Sounds a little run of the mill but the idea of Val Kilmer and Ving Rhames playing time-traveling ghostbusters has promise. Even only they’d pitched it a little bit differently. (Variety)

9 photosGet To Know Katrina Bowden

I was not expecting to like the original Piranha 3D. I’m no horror buff, but between the over-the-top absurd violence, the naked underwater prancing and Christopher Lloyd basically dusting off Doc Brown, I was sold. Now they’re making Piranha 3DD and I’m anxious to see a trailer. Until then, I’ll just have to make do with these unauthorized set photos from Let’s Get Out of Here Blog. Turns out the writer lives near where the film is shooting in Wilmington, NC. Here you get a first look at the water park set, plus a bloody prop girl. I can tell a lot of happy summertime memories are gonna be made for the families that go to Big Wet. The film chomps into theaters November 23, 2011.

Directed by John Gulager, Piranha 3DD stars Ving Rhames, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Paul Scheer and The Hoff, plus Christopher Lloyd returns. (Dread Central)

Three-dimensional Piranha film veterans Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, and Paul Scheer will all return to the waters of the John Gulager-directed sequel. They’ll join previously announced Katrina Bowden, Gary Busey, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, and probably some porn stars. The type of porn stars who it would be outlandish to find in a water park.

So, kind of like “Burn Notice” without Johnny Sunglasses smirking at the camera every four minutes. At least, I think that’s what “Burn Notice” is about. I know that stuff gets blown up a lot, so yeah, I’ll generalize. (Deadline)

The Golden Globes are a joke, and everyone knows it. A lot of people like to get worked up about this fact. I used to be one of those people. But now, thanks in part to Wellbutrin, I no longer care, and I accept the show for what it truly is: masturbation.

But you know what? Masturbation can be fun, and the Golden Globes are no exception. Throughout the years, they have made for some pretty entertaining moments, which is probably due, in no small part, to the fact that the attendees are allowed to drink. So rather than bitching and moaning about how the whole thing is pointless (as compared to what, life?), lets just sit back and enjoy these nine ‘WTF’ moments from Golden Globes past.

Scarlett Johansson Groped
Back in 2006, Isaac Mizrahi had the pleasure of interviewing Scarlett Johansson as she walked the red carpet. Mizahi, who is openly gay, took the liberty of groping her left breast as he complimented her dress. If I touched Johansson’s tits, they’d lock me away. But just because this guy loves boners he can fondle her with impunity. What a crock of sh*t! Johansson later said the incident was in bad taste. I’m assuming she was talking about the award show in general, not just the boob grab.

You know, thirty years ago, people would have hated Isaac Mizrahi for being openly gay. Today, people only hate him because he works for E! That’s what I call progress.

Christine Lahti Is Too Busy Taking a Dump
In 1998, Christine Lahti was honored with a Golden Globe Award for her work on the medical drama, “Chicago Hope,” which is better known as the ugly cousin of “ER.” But when it came time to accept the statue, she was no where to be found. As it turns out, she was in the bathroom dropping a deuce (that means pooping), which is a fitting metaphor for the Golden Globes. But at least the gaffe allowed the irrepressible Robin Williams to make an inbreeding joke at the expense of the South. He was between that and a joke about Asians, but ultimate went with the Southern joke, probably cause Asians know kung-fu and shit. Am I right? Am I right? Stereotyping is fun!

Ving Rhames Gives Away His Award
It’s rare to see a genuine heartfelt moment at an awards show, especially a show as contrived as the Golden Globes. But in 1998, Ving Rhames was overcome with emotion after winning an award for his performance in the HBO movie, Don King: Only In America. Rhames thanked his fellow nominees, and singled out actor Jack Lemmon in particular. After calling Lemmon to the stage, Rhames insisted he take the award instead, and after much coaxing, Lemmon obliged. It was a memorable moment, sullied only by the fact that the award is meaningless.

The Rat Pack Storms the Stage
In 1958, Frank Sinatra and company were at the Golden Globe awards, drinking heavily. Apparently, they weren’t to thrilled with whoever was hosting the event. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the fact that Frank Sinatra was allowed to do whatever the hell he wanted, but the group decided to storm the stage and act as MCs for the rest of the show. It went over so well, that the group was asked to return the following year, or at least that’s what Moviefone tells me. Sorry there’s no clip, but the Golden Globes weren’t televised until 1964.

Tom Arnold Acts Like a Coked Up Asshole
In this classic clip from the 1996 show, Tom Arnold made a complete ass of himself while trying to mock his ex-wife, comedian Rosanne (I’m not sure if she has a last name at this point). The actor’s first joke to actress Teri Hatcher (want to be in a movie?) came off as creepy, and the rest of his act went over about as well as a Jew joke at an AIPAC convention. Watch for yourself, if you have the stomach. It’s amazing that Ricky Gervais can pull off this type of humor.

Isaiah Washington Drops the F-Bomb (No, The Other F-Bomb)
When being questioned about behind-the-scenes tension on the set of “Grey’s Anatomy,” actor Isaiah Washington decided to set the record straight once and for all, and inject a little levity into the situation at the same time. Unfortunately, his use of the word “fag” went over about as well as a gay joke at Elton John‘s house. Wow, I’m on a real simile kick. At any rate, Washington was booted from the show shortly after. Blame it on the Gay Mafia.

Ricky Gervais Mocks Mel Gibson
At the time, Ricky Gervais’ joke about Mel Gibson’s drinking was hilarious. Just one year later, it seems even more profound. While I doubt Mel will be attending this year’s ceremony, I’m 100% certain Gervais will have something good in store for him. Blow jobs, domestic violence, racial slurs; the possibilities are endless.

Bette Midler Talks About Her Breasts, Mimics Fellatio
Some guys think Bette Midler is sexy. We call them gay guys. I’m not saying she isn’t talented, but Bathhouse Betty has all the sex appeal of Kevin James, and smaller tits to boot. That’s what makes this clip from 1980 so disturbing.

Pia Zadora’s Husband Buys Her An Award
In what is widely considered the biggest WTF moment in Golden Globe history, Pia Zadora took home the “Newcomer-of-the-Year” award in 1981. While that might not seem like a big deal, the film she won for, Butterfly, had not yet been released, meaning she wasn’t even eligible for the award.

As it turns out, Zadora’s husband, multimillionaire Meshulam Riklis, had basically bought off the judges with expensive trips to Vegas and lavish meals at his home. Since then, the Golden Globes have had about as much credibility as the AVN awards. But in all fairness, the Golden Globes have bigger whores.

Josh Holloway, best known for playing con man and quip spouter Sawyer on "Lost," has chosen to accept Mission: Impossible 4 as his next project. He’ll suit up with a cast that already includes Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton, Ving Rhames, and Simon Pegg. No details on who he’ll play or what he’ll do or how the movie will include a plot. I do know the when. It’s shooting in the fall for a December 2011 release.

Mission: Impossible 4 will be directed by Brad Bird, the guy who makes terrific animated movies. It’s the first studio film for Holloway and the first live action studio film for Bird. Talk about the odd men out. If some teasing and serious intimidation on Tom Cruise’s part doesn’t cause rifts in production someone isn’t taking full advantage of their elite Hollywood status. Give the rookies purple nurples while you still can, veterans! (THR)

Piranha 3D
R, 82m., 2010
Cast: Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Ving Rhames, Jerry O’Connell, Steve R. McQueen, Kelly Brook, Jessica Szohr Paul Sheer with Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dryfuss
Directed by Alexandre Aja
Screenplay by Peter Goldfinger and  Josh Stolberg

Piranha 3D zips along at great pace with plenty of boobs and blood to give us one hell of a fun summer ride at the movies.

For those who want to know any plot, a ‘seismic’ underwater earthquake unleashes a huge pack of pre-historic flesh hungry piranhas onto a popular desert lake during sprin break. What follows are the gory events and traps that bring togethe the town Sheriff (Elisabeth Shue), her tough guy Deputy (Ving Rhames), a underwater researcher (Adam Scott), and a boat load of sleazy Girls Gone Wild crew members headed by Jerry O’Connell, doing some of his best over the top acting ever.

A couple of hilarious cameos by Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd keep things rolling as they remind us that we’re always going to need a bigger boat when dealing with monstrous sea creatures.

At its core, the movie is just another gimmicky remake of the 1970s Roger Cormen B-classic, Piranha. The original was a rip-off of Jaws, and this version seems even more so with its many zoom shots and characters having similar traits and references. Dreyfuss even finds himself on an ill-fated boat again, and Scott looks an awful lot like a young Dreyfuss with his thick glasses and beard.

Yet Alexandre Aja, director of High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes (2006), along with his cast of classic screen actors, D-List stars, and young, tan teenagers dive head first into the campy gore and sex. They don’t hold anything back, from fishes gobbling penises that are spit back at you to underwater nude scenes with this month’s Playboy cover girl Kelly Brook. The best way to enjoy is just to sit back, laugh, howl, and enjoy the ridiculous ride this movie takes you on.

Grade: B

Bloody Disgusting has posted the Piranha 3D footage that got the film booted from Hall H at this year’s past Comic-Con. Upon reviewing it, I can understand why the Comic-Con HMFICs wouldn’t want to screen it for the family-friendly convention. A woman in a bikini gets bifurcated by a wire cable, half of her suit top falling off before half of her torso does. And that’s just the beginning of the over-the-top bloodshed. Skip to the 3:15 mark to watch annoying tourists get their just desserts. …In the butt.

Check out red-band clip after the jump…

Check out the Cannes trailer for Thomas Jane and Ving Rhames in Give ‘em Hell, Malone, a Dashiell Hammet-inspired detective flick directed by Russell Mulcahey, who also helmed The Scorpion King 2, Resident Evil: Extinction and AC/DC: Family Jewels. The shameless title of this post is in reference to a character’s line at about 1:54 in the clip, a line that has already solidified its place on a tee-shirt and bumper sticker somewhere, I’m sure.

_{Frightening Star Trek Fans (Manofest)}

_{Lucy Pinder poses nude with Wolverine claws.  (FilmDrunk)}

_{Supreme Court Nominee Effects Sports Law (MoonDogSports)}

_{Jenna Lee Fox Business Network Interview (WallStreetFighter)}

_{Frank The Tank Joins ‘Neighborhood Watch’ (Pajiba)}

_{Misty Dawns Spank Bank (GorillaMask)}

_{Awesome Star Wars Wedding (IAmBored)}

_{10 Popular Porn Scenarios (Cracked)}

_{Transformers 2 News (filmofilia)}

_{Clash Of The Titans Set Pics (DreadCentral)}

_{Office Etiquette Instruction (HolyTaco)}

_{Kentucky Derby Bikini (BustedCoverage)}

_{Snow Monkeys Are Too Human Like (Uncoached)}

_{Ryan Reynolds Is DeadPool (Unreality)}

_{What To Do If You Notice You’re On Fire (TomOatmeal)}

_{Doctor Parnassus Screens In L.A. (ThePlaylist)}

_{Dude Fails At Carnival Hammer (NothingToxic)}