What’s most alarming about this movie is Norm MacDonald stars as the voice of Fang for some reason. The reason, of course, being that the f*&^ing Cavs couldn’t cover the f&^*ing spread!

Available from E1 Entertainment on DVD September 25th.

Like its predecessor, Fright Night tells the story of a high school student who is absolutely convinced his creepy new neighbor is a blood thirsty vampire. Deciding to protect his single mom and girlfriend, he teams up with a sleazy Vegas performer (David Tennant) and preps to battle a small army of the undead.

The visuals are slick, and the gore is plentiful, although the high definition tends to let some of the CGI work stand out more than it should. The audio is solid, and pops as you’d expect it to during the action scenes. The two disc combo pack also features a DVD edition of the film. And you can shell out a few more bucks for a 3D edition if that sort of thing floats your boat.

The extras on the disc are varied. You get five deleted scenes, a couple featurettes, bloopers and a music video. The disc also features one of the more unique extras I’ve encountered, in the form of an audio track for the visually impaired. Essentially, the track provides a reader who describes everything happening on screen while not interrupting dialogue. And when I say everything, I mean it. If you ever wanted wanted to hear a vivid description of the Touchstone Entertainment logo, now is your chance.

So is it worth it? Yes, if you enjoy horror with a good mix of comedy. The acting and action sequences are good throughout the film, even if the pace moves a bit quicker than necessary. Although I think Fright Night missed some opportunities to separate itself from the vampire pack, it’s still a step above most recent horror films, and certainly most recent horror remakes. It won’t make any die-hard fans forget the original, but the movie is by no means an embarrassment to the name.

Fright Night is now available in stores, with an SRP of $39.99 for the Blu ray/ DVD combo pack.

The Last House on the Left

Fans of Wes Craven‘s super-violent The Last House on the Left were pretty pissed to hear that the classic was being updated, but everyone was pretty stoked when the film was released. Director Dennis Iladis delivered a film that hung onto what was great about the original and lost what was crappy comic relief to deliver a really brutal film.

The Crazies

The Crazies remake is fantastic. With awesome make-up effects and really inventive plot turns, it’s a movie that just keeps giving you more without getting dull or derivative. It’s actually like six movies in one that blend together without feeling scattered. That’s not easy to do when dealing with zombie rednecks.

Dawn of the Dead

Like The Crazies, this is another George Romero update that stands well on its own. The script from James Gunn is terrifying, action-packed, and also effectively funny when needed. It was the world’s first glimpse of what Zack Snyder is capable of, and in my opinion, his best work. Very creepy and very cool.

Check out all the Sony “Action Unleashed” DVDs!

Prince Mamuwalde – Blacula (1972)

In Blacula, Prince Mamuwalde is an 18th century prince who wants to put an end to the slave trade. Naturally, he goes to Count Dracula for help, because if there’s anyone who can stop the transatlantic slave trade, it’s an undead Transylvanian nobleman. Things go badly for the prince, and he is transformed into a vampire. Through a series of unfortunate events, he ends up in 1970′s Los Angeles and begins killing again. But at least he does so with style.

Severen – Near Dark (1987)

Caleb Colton thought he was going to get lucky when he met a young girl named Mae. Instead, he was bitten, and turned into a vampire. But despite his new lifestyle, Caleb is still squeamish about the whole “killing humans to feed” thing. This doesn’t sit well with the other vampires, including Severen (Bill Paxton). He likes Caleb even less when it is discovered that a blood transfusion can return vampires to human form. The two end up fighting, and things do not end up well for one of them.

David – Lost Boys (1987)

Before he was draining blood from terrorists on”24,” Kiefer Sutherland was sucking blood in Lost Boys. As David, he played the leader of a local gang in a small California town. However, as it turns out, the gang is more than just a group of thugs. Can you guess their secret? Yep! They’re vampires!

Jerry Dandridge – Fright Night (1985)

When Charley Brewster discovers that his neighbor Jerry Dandridge is a vampire, no one will believe his story: not his mom, not his girlfriend, not the police. With all other options exhausted, he turns to vampire hunter Peter Vincent to sort things out.

Santánico Pandemónium – From Dusk till Dawn (1996)

Santánico Pandemónium is one ravenous vampire. She’s also hot as hell. Honestly, I would risk death by vampire for a chance with Salma Hayek.

Martin – Martin (1977)

This often overlooked vampire film is from George A. Romero, a director better known as the father of the modern zombie film. However, he also put a unique spin on the vampire genre.

Lestat De Lioncourt – Interview with a Vampire (1994)

In the intro, I lamented the way Twilight feminized vampires. However, Interview with a Vampire is just as guilty, if not more so. However, the film takes place in the 1700′s, so it should get a pass. After all, it’s hard not to look girlie in a powdered wig.

Dracula – Dracula (1931)

Béla Lugosi stars in this adaptation of Bram Stoker‘s classic novel. Dracula became the standard by which all other vampire films would be judged.

Nosferatu – Nosferatu (1922)

Even before Dracula hit the silver screen, there was Nosferatu. The film told the story of Count Orlok, a Transylvania nobleman with a penchant for sucking blood. Sound familiar? That’s because it’s a direct rip off of Stoker’s Dracula. When the producers of the film could not secure the rights, they simply decided to steal the story. Even so, their film is widely considered one of the greatest horror films of all time.

People at Sundance are pissed that Vampire isn’t actually about vampires. That’s not the film’s problem. You can make a movie about human losers trying to be cool like vampires, but it has to be better than Vampire.

Simon (Kevin Zegers) picks up suicidal babes on a website, Sidebycide.com, that we barely ever see (just a homepage, no actual activity.) He’s not suicidal though. He likes to drain ladies’ blood and drink it. They call him the Vampire killer, and I’m not sure he even thinks he’s a vampire. Also, blood seems to make him throw up so it doesn’t even seem to work.

So that’s interesting, vampirism appropriated by serial killers. It’s not interesting as it plays out though. There are lots of extended scenes of slow nothing going on. Maybe it’s mood but the visuals are so mundane that it’s not atmospheric. All real world settings, out in the woods or in an industrial factory, and Simon just wears a hoodie, baggie pants and glasses so he’s not very distinct.

Along the way Simon encounters some different facets of vampire or suicide obsession. He meets a vampire wannabe serial killer groupie who rapes and murders in ways that are distasteful to Simon. Simon convinces a suicidal jumper to give him her blood instead.

Simon also cares for his mother Helga (Amanda Plummer), who has Alzheimer’s. He’s made a harness with balloons to help her get around. He talks his ow high school student out of suicide, so I guess he has standards.

There are interesting moments. Simon gets caught in a suicide van, which shows he can’t always control his well planned M.O. Then a long hike through the woods is just a matter of who cares? There’s a scene with leeches which I guess is a metaphor for blood suckers. Suicide survivor Ladybird (Adelaide Clemons) is actually sweet, offering Simon her blood on a regular basis as long as he stops killing. Jellyfish (Keisha Castle-Hughes) bringing Simon a caterpillar is sweet also. These are hints of a real movie somewhere in there, but they go nowhere.

Vampire is a technical mess. Director Iwai Shunji often turns the camera on its side, so we see vertical images horizontally. Nice try, but it just looks bad. There’s also a lot of hiss on the soundtrack, so could he not even mic up the talent or at least ADR it? The familiar Japanese perspective seems to want to portray violence as elegant and beautiful, but it’s just boring.

By the time Maria (Kristen Kreuk) does ballet for Simon, just stop already. Simon’s clingy girlfriend threatens to discover his lifestyle, but he’s not even into her so what’s the conflict there? He could get caught by a real character, not an invented “girlfriend.” If you want to see a movie about non-vampires, see Vampire’s Kiss. That is some quality crazy.

Taylor Lautner is howling mad at an RV company for not delivering his trailer on time. Get it? I said "howling mad" because he plays a wolf boy in those awful movies. *sigh*

At any rate, Lautner is so distraught over the matter that he has filed a lawsuit against the company, McMahon’s RV, claiming both "annoyance" and "emotional distress."

On the one hand, he allegedly paid $300,000 for the trailer, so I can sort of see his point. On the other hand, he paid $300,000 for a trailer, and someday he’ll use it to bang more chicks than I will ever meet even though he looks like one of the rats from those old Quizno’s ads. When I look at it that way, I’m more inclined to hope the trailer catches fire while the rich, pretty boy, crybaby is inside. (TMZ via Movie Line)

Is Quentin Tarantino scouting Eastern European locations for a possible vampire film? If unsubstantiated stories running in two different Romanian tabloids are to be believed (which they almost certainly should be), then the answer is a resounding "yes."

According to Dread Central, said tabloids are reporting that Tarantino will soon be in Vienna, a gateway to Eastern European travel, in order to inspect various castles for use in a Dracula project. Again, this is little more than a rumor, and Tarantino could be visiting as nothing more than a tourist, or perhaps even a sex tourist. Who’s to say? But given that it’s 3:00 AM, and I have one last article to publish before I can go to bed, I choose to believe that this story has legs.

You may remember that back in July we alerted you to RoboGeisha, the only film brave enough to broach the subject of stabbing people in the eyes with shrimp tempura. Noboru Iguchi’s crazy Geishsploitation splatterfest is back with a second trailer and the awesome poster above. This movie just looks better and better all the time. Not only do the Geishas rock out to ba Paul McCartney covers but they can also continue to battle despite being sliced in two. Let’s see Tony Jaa pull that off. (Dread Central)

Peep the trailer and stick around for our morning links…

?????? / Robo-geisha (Trailer Two) – Watch more Funny Videos

Director: Chan-wook Park

Cast: Kang-ho Song, Ok-vin Kim

Synopsis: A failed medical experiment turns a man of faith into a vampire.