Screen Junkies » universal soldier http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 22 Oct 2014 23:25:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 7 Greatest Movie Cyborgs http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-greatest-movie-cyborgs/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-greatest-movie-cyborgs/#comments Tue, 15 Jan 2013 18:19:11 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=252841 In honor of 'Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning'.

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When Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning heads to Blu-rayTM and DVD on January 22nd, we’ll all get the chance to see what the hype is about. Praise for the film has been pretty ample online. It is regarded as the best in the series and according to some, “better than Skyfall.” That probably means that Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren‘s characters will go down in film history as some of the greatest cyborgs to grace the screen. Until that day, we still have these greats!

RoboCop

A policeman struck down in the line of duty gained a new lease on life when Omni Consumer Products used him as the subject of their RoboCop initiative. Updating the slain Officer Murphy with super-strength, superior understanding of the law, and a huge gun he holstered in his leg, the criminals of Detroit fell at the hands of a man that got his nutrients from baby food.

Pris

In Blade Runner, Daryl Hannah plays Pris, a replicant who was built as a “basic pleasure model,” which basically means she is a robot prostitute. She’s set at an “A Physical” level, which gives her a high threshold for pain and makes her a pretty impressive gymnast. The combination of the hair, makeup, and flexibility is responsible for many a 1980′s nerd not leaving their bedrooms on sunny days.

Inspector Gadget

When the forces of evil conspire to throw the world into a state of peril, it takes a true hero to act on the part of justice. Sometimes, that hero is a bumbling boob who can pull a bowling ball out of his aluminum butt. Inspector Gadget was once a lowly security guard with dreams of a true and just world. After an injury in the line of duty, he is rebuilt with roller skates, a helicopter, and several other doodads. Take that, evil!

Six Million Dollar Man

After sustaining severe injuries in a rocket crash, astronaut Steve Austin is rebuilt to become The Six Million Dollar Man. His right arm, both legs, and left eye are replaced with expensive (at the time) bionic implants. These give him enhanced strength, speed, and vision. It also makes getting through airport security a real bitch. But whatever. He’s Lee Frickin’ Majors. If anyone can charm his way through the TSA, it’s him. Plus he fought Bigfoot. How cool is that?

Number Six

The best science-fiction series in television history had a lot going for it. But most of what it had going for it was Tricia Helfer’s portrayal of a cybernetic sexbot. While viewers were eventually drawn in by the gut-wrenching plot turns and mystery elements, it was Helfer in a red dress that lured in early eyes.

Ash Williams

Of all the cyborgs on this list, Ash Williams has the craziest origin. Once a man simply looking for a nice weekend in the woods, Ash was attacked by demons, forced to chop off his possessed hand with a chainsaw, sent back in time to the Dark Ages where he adorned his stump with both a chainsaw and a kung fu grip gauntlet which he used to defeat an army of the undead. Let’s see RoboCop do that! No, seriously. I think that would make for a great Robocop movie. Let’s please see RoboCop do that.

Darth Vader

It’s no surprise that the biggest badass in our galaxy as well as those far, far away tops this list. Not only is he immensely strong, fast, and good with a sword but he’s also a pimp when it comes to magic. It’s no wonder he was able to crush so many planets before the Rebel Alliance finally sacked up and stood up to him. It should be noted though that he didn’t technically lose that fight. He only lost because he chose to lose.

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8 Villains Who Made The Mistake Of Pissing Off Jean-Claude Van Damme http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-villains-who-made-the-mistake-of-pissing-off-jean-claude-van-damme/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-villains-who-made-the-mistake-of-pissing-off-jean-claude-van-damme/#comments Tue, 06 Sep 2011 13:00:13 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226497 Don't mess with Van Damme.

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Even though Jean-Claude Van Damme is universally recognized as a dangerous badass, people seem to believe that they can piss him off and get away with it. Even today, in 2011, with the release of his latest thriller Assassination Games, bad guys all around seem to think they can handle the JCVD. In the interest of learning vicariously from the mistakes of others, here are a few of their stories. For your reading pleasure, 8 villains who made the mistake of pissing off Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Check out the wide assortment of Sony “Action Unleashed” DVDs!

Chong Li, Bloodsport

I guess it would be difficult to blame Chong Li for thinking he could take on Jean-Claude Van Damme. After all Bloodsport was one on JCVD‘s first starring roles, so his reputation was not as set in stone as it is today. He learned his lesson the hard way, though, being forced into submission after trying to blind Van Damme with an underhanded trick during their climactic kickboxing match. Even cheating won’t save you once you piss off Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Fender Tremolo, Cyborg

Some villains make the mistake of thinking that they can get away with pissing off Jean-Claude Van Damme just because they live in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. WRONG. In Cyborg, Fender Tremolo has a band of pirates to back him up, and he still ends up hanging from a meat hook, courtesy of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

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Van Damme and Lundgren Return to the Cyborg Well With ‘Universal Soldier 4′ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/van-damme-and-lundgren-return-to-the-cyborg-well-with-universal-soldier-4/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/van-damme-and-lundgren-return-to-the-cyborg-well-with-universal-soldier-4/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Swallow your peas, Dolph! This one's for all the fellas out there that love bulging muscles up in their grill. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will once again reignite their centuries old rivalry for Universal Soldier 4: 3D. John Hyams, who directed the previous film in the series, will return to show these guys which angles to punch one another at are best for camera.I would assume the project would go straight to DVD, but if that's the case why spend the money on 3D? Are they going to inflate DVD costs next? Or tax our eyeballs when this inevitably ends up on Spike TV?? Well, we won't stand for that. ATTICA! ATTICA!!! (Deadline)

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Swallow your peas, Dolph!

This one’s for all the fellas out there that love bulging muscles up in their grill. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will once again reignite their centuries old rivalry for Universal Soldier 4: 3D. John Hyams, who directed the previous film in the series, will return to show these guys which angles to punch one another at are best for camera.

I would assume the project would go straight to DVD, but if that’s the case why spend the money on 3D? Are they going to inflate DVD costs next? Or tax our eyeballs when this inevitably ends up on Spike TV?? Well, we won’t stand for that. ATTICA! ATTICA!!! (Deadline)

 

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