"MEEOOWWW!!!! KITCH!! KITCH!!"
Last fall, it seemed like the Bourne series was sunk when Paul Greengrass pulled a bitchfit and removed himself and star Matt Damon from a fourth Bourne film. That doesn't seem to bother Universal too much. Despite the fact that he directed Duplicity, they've just hired Tony Gilroy to direct the next chapter. Gilroy, of course, wrote each of the previous films as well as the newest script. Not sure if they plan to use Damon, recast, shoot a prequel, or go the tried-and-true route of using a cardboard cut-out. You really can't tell the difference if you shake the camera around enough. (Deadline)

My problem with Snow White has always been that it's severely lacking in mixed martial arts. That won't be a problem anymore. Universal just plunked down more cash than any of us will ever see to buy the rights to Snow White and the Huntsman.
The script, written by Greyskull's Evan Daugherty, reimagines the classic by having Snow White team up with the Huntsman who was ordered to kill her. They live in the forest together where he trains her to fight and survive, and hopefully build up a tolerance to apple poison. Rupert Sanders is attached to direct, with no talent lined up just yet. I'd like to suggest Krysten Ritter and Bear Grylls. If there's anyone who can build a shelter out of dwarf carcasses, it's that guy. (Deadline)

'JUDO-TAINT!!!!"
The film that dared to bring us two Ron Silvers is coming back. Universal has announced that they plan to actually write the word "Timecop" down on paper, follow it with more pages featuring description and dialogue, hire a director to wear a baseball cap that reads "Timecop" on the front, convince an actor to play a "Timecop," and then spend money on actually getting this thing made, and mass-produce billboards and other marketing materials that say "Timecop."
Sadly, they will not cast Jean Claude Van Damme to reprise his role as the cop who cops time for this one. Good luck finding an actor who can make his foot hover in front of people's faces. They don't teach that skill. You're born with it. (What's Playing)

After letting Tower Heist sit on the shelf for almost four years, Universal has given it the green light with Ben Stiller starring, Brett Ratner directing, and Imagine's Brian Grazer producing. Because if anyone can make a project work that hasn't been working, it's the mastermind behind X-Men 3. Deadline has the deets:
Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.
Bumbling, inept idiots try to pull off a major heist. Have we not seen this concept countless times already? And not that I have anything against Stiller, but I don't understand why he'd want to play this type of character again. He's already been a bumbling security guard twice in the Night at the Museum movies, and a bumbling (insert occupation) in almost everything else. Now he's relying on Ratner to save a stale concept. Unless that concept is a cupcake, I'm not seeing him succeeding.

Birdie.Denzel Washington is in talks to star in Safe House, an original spy thriller set in South Africa, but let's not make this a racial thing. The script, written by David Guggenheim, "follows a young U.S. intelligence agent who must go on the run with a newly arrived prisoner (Denzel’s potential role) after his titular safe house comes under attack — think of a mix between Collateral and Three Days of the Condor." Sounds more like a mix between Bulletproof and Spy Hard. Guggenheim sparked a bidding war with the script this past winter.A spy thriller wouldn't be my next project choice for Denzel, but I don't commission 10% of his salary to tell him what sets to show up on. The overall concept for Safe House seems stale though, and I can't understand why studios would clamor over one another to secure it. Maybe Denzel knows something I don't. Like where I put my car keys. I gotta get out of this trunk before the sun sets. The desert gets chilly at night. (Vulture)

In news that is sure to make Conan O'Brien's Irish eyes smile, Jeff Zucker is being removed from his position as President of NBC Television Group. General Electric has put together an exit deal that will send Zucker packing with a golden parachute in the $30 to $40 million range. Please send all sympathy cards to: Jeff Zucker Don't Send This Guy Any Cards Avenue Dude's Plenty Rich, NY 80085 $30 million seems kinda exorbitant for a guy who steered the number one network into last place and forced the company into the arms of a competitor. Heck, I didn't get squat when I was let go from the deli for that bologna joke fiasco. Sucks too because I had plans for that apron. (NY Post)