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Get Ready For An ‘Avengers’-Style Ensemble Franchise Of Classic Universal Monsters
Thursday, July 17 by

I said “get ready!” Are you ready? Nah, you’re not ready.

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Matt Damon Up For Some More Jason Bourning
Tuesday, August 27 by

The costs of zoo upkeep are astronomical.

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Universal To Rewrite History With ‘Timecop’ Remake
Thursday, May 23 by

Hopefully not starring Colin Farrell.

CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984)
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Now It’s Time For Arnold Schwarzenegger To Reboot ‘Conan’
Friday, October 26 by

I’m holding out for a Conan vs. The Terminator film.

This is how I looked when I caught wind of this story. Only I had more cocaine on my face.
The ‘Scarface’ Remake Is Now In The Hands Of The ‘Donnie Brasco’ Writer
Wednesday, October 17 by

In this version, instead of yelling his famous catchphrase, he posts it on Twitter with the hashtag #littlefriend.

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Len Wiseman In Talks To Unearth ‘The Mummy’
Tuesday, September 25 by

At least it can’t be any worse than the original.

One glimpse at that tasteful neckwear and I'm all his.
’50 Shades Of Grey’ Film Gets Producers, Will Soon Be A Part Of Our Lives
Tuesday, July 10 by

Oh man! I’m really excited about this project because I’m completely unaware of the existence of pornography!

Apparently, some soulless movie exec screaming, "Remember Stretch Armstrong?" doesn't mean it will be a viable movie.
Universal Just Paid Millions Of Dollars To Not Make Movies Based On Hasbro Toys
Tuesday, February 7 by

I’m sitting at my desk, not making a Hasbro toy-based film, and it’s not costing me shit.

Get ready to hate and resent him.
‘Despicable Me’ Animators Chipping Away At ‘Woody Woodpecker’
Thursday, November 17 by

Sell out.

And "p" spells, "DERP"
Universal Realizes McG’s ‘Ouija’ Is A Dumb Idea
Wednesday, August 24 by

The studio doesn’t want to play anymore.

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Seth Rogen And Zac Efron, Together At Last For A Frat Comedy
Friday, July 22 by

They balance out to an average of “cute.”

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‘Carnosaur 2′ Director To Go Through The Motions Of Directing ‘Werewolf’
Thursday, July 7 by

Thanks ‘Twilight’.

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Universal Bestows Upon Us ‘Fast & Furious 6′ And ‘R.I.P.D.’ Release Dates
Friday, June 24 by

Hint: you can make them parts of a double feature if you’re willing to hide out in the theater for a month.

Paul-Haggis
We’re Getting A New Spy Franchise Courtesy Of Paul Haggis
Friday, June 24 by

He’s adapting the Gabriel Allon books by Daniel Silva. I wonder if he’ll have a role for Ludacris.

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Warren Beatty To Star In And Direct…Some Type Of Movie
Monday, June 20 by

This press release might have well have just said in big block letters, “WARREN BEATTY IS MAKING A MOVIE FOR PARAMOUNT.”

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It Appears The Ouija Movie Directed By McG Doesn’t Have An Amazing Script
Thursday, June 16 by

‘Ouija’ will serve as a bridge between the world of the living and the world of thin film plots.

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Ben Affleck To Remake French Adaptation Of ‘Tell No One’
Wednesday, June 15 by

He’s remaking the French version of an American novel. Who has squatter’s rights?

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‘Snow White And The Huntsman’ Now In Search Of A Script
Wednesday, June 15 by

They got Chris Hemsworth. Now they need to fill his mouth with words.

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Universal Reboots ‘Wolf Man’ Remake ‘Wolfman’ Because What?
Wednesday, June 8 by

‘Werewolf’ would be a reboot of a remake… and also some kind of record?

Doug Liman
Doug Liman’s ‘Luna’ Poised To Make The Moon A Hollywood Hotspot
Monday, June 6 by

The moon will be a much sexier place if Doug Liman gets his way.

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Justin Lin To Produce Sci-Fi Film That’s Potentially Fast, Furious
Friday, June 3 by

Director Bobby Glickert went from robot fluffer to sci-fi super-player.

Tom Cruise
Official Bidness: Tom Cruise Finally Enters ‘Oblivion’
Friday, May 20 by

The actor has been light biking around the $100 adaptation of the popular graphic novel, ever since the project jumped spaceship from Disney to Universal.

Chris Hemsworth and Kristen Stewart
Chris Hemsworth Is Kristen Stewart’s New Shirtless Love Interest In ‘Snow White’
Friday, May 13 by

Hemsworth was chosen to play the titular Huntsman in ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’, the 9 bazillionth ‘Snow White’ movie currently in development.

'Dark Tower' or Jenga Tower: You Decide
Is Universal’s ‘Dark Tower’ More Like A Jenga Tower?
Thursday, May 5 by

Anybody wanna buy a gigantic, cross-platform adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘Dark Tower’? I know a bunch of guys looking to sell.

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‘American Reunion’ To Make Your Next Spring Break More Mediocre
Monday, April 25 by

Here’s the ‘American Reunion’ release date, so you know when to avoid the latest ‘American Pie’ movie.

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Oliver Stone Turns ‘Savages’ Into ‘Pulp Fiction 2′ With Travolta, Thurman And Blake Lively
Thursday, April 21 by

Oliver Stone has added a few big names to his marijuana drama / ‘Pulp Fiction’ Convention ‘The Savages’.

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Universal To Brainwash Jeremy Renner For ‘Bourne Legacy’
Thursday, April 21 by

Every other actor in Hollywood, thanks for coming.

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‘Ouija’ Scares A Writer Into Penning A McG Movie
Tuesday, April 19 by

Spooked by the prospect of being best known for writing ‘Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie’, Evan Spilotopoulos has taken a gig scripting the McG/Michael Bay Ouiji board movie.

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Hugh Jackman Says No To ‘Snow White’ Sloppy Seconds
Wednesday, April 13 by

Protect your own damn Snow White!!

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‘American Idiot’ To Become Yet Another Thing: A Movie?
Tuesday, April 12 by

Green Day may drop dookies into theaters nationwide.