This is never going to happen. I know it. You know it. Tyler Shields knows it. But it’s a slow news morning, so let’s just keep writing about this. If she isn’t arrested, in the act of being arrested, or sleeping in, the role of Sharon Tate is hers. Tate, of course, was famously murdered by Manson and his followers in one of Hollywood’s darkest times. To stunt-cast the role of the upcoming actress seems in poor taste but Shields is aiming to manipulate.

“Sharon Tate was a movie star,” he says. “So I want [an actress who] you already have a backstory with. People have a backstory with someone like Lindsay. And I think it’s very relatable.”

“I’m just going to be directing people to do the craziest s— they’ve ever done,” he says. “[But] I’m going to find a way to do it where it doesn’t turn people off, but it gives you the feeling of it. I want this to really hit people in a really specific place.”

Yes. People do have a backstory with Lindsay, but I think it would help if the backstory wasn’t, “Hey! That’s the loopy bitch who sideswiped my car!!” (EW)