Screen Junkies » TV Guide http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Thu, 18 Sep 2014 20:13:15 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Here’s Those Pictures Of Jimmy Kimmel Dressed As The Dowager Countess That Your Penis Ordered http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/heres-those-pictures-of-jimmy-kimmel-dressed-as-the-dowager-countess-that-your-penis-ordered-2/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/heres-those-pictures-of-jimmy-kimmel-dressed-as-the-dowager-countess-that-your-penis-ordered-2/#comments Fri, 07 Sep 2012 21:33:59 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250768 He should stick to dressing up like Jimmy Kimmel.

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 He made his career by putting attractive, panty-clad women on trampolines. Now, Jimmy Kimmel is using his powers for evil. Heinous, heinous evil. As you can see from the cover of an upcoming issue of TV Guide, Kimmel has dressed up like Downton Abbey’s Dowager Countess or a Hunger Games character or something. Either way, terrible start to the weekend.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-23rd-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-23rd-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight, Jessica Simpson's cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight, Jessica Simpson’s cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE break

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: A cautionary tale that teaches us all we should be heavily-armed and alert on Christmas.


MAN VS. FISH WITH MATT WALSTON
Network:
Discovery
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: This guy hunts marlin in the South Pacific on a jet ski and has to fight off bad weather and killer whales in the process. I don’t even like having to open a Gorton’s fish sticks box.


EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
Network:
Comedy Central
Time: 8:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The race is on for the vagina heart of Jessica Simpson when two workers discover she will more than likely sleep with whomever becomes Employee of the Month at Wal-Mart. That’s an unbelievalbe premise. Remember, this is 2006 Jessica we’re talking about.


STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Network:
A&E
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Steven Seagal helps rebuild a home destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Sounds tame. When is he going to break someone’s arm??

 


BIOGRAPHY: JOAQUIN PHEONIX
Network:
Biography
Time: 11PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch:
Take an intimate look at the World’s Highest Man.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
The Dan Band

LETTERMAN
Alec Baldwin; Jay Thomas; Darlene Love performs

CONAN
Elijah Wood; Derek Fisher; Dwayne Perkins

KIMMEL (repeat)
Peewee Herman; The Jacksons; Passion Pit performs

FERGUSON
Paris Hilton; chef Jose Andres

FALLON
Joy Behar; Jonny Lee Miller; the Muppets

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-22nd-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-22nd-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000  Tonight, join Carrie Underwood as she warms your yule log. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight, join Carrie Underwood as she warms your yule log.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
CARRIE UNDERWOOD: AN ALL-STAR HOLIDAY SPECIAL
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Let Carrie Underwood get you into the "holiday" spirit. And by that, I mean turn the volume off and let whatever happens happen.
 


PSYCHIC KIDS: CHILDREN OF THE PARANORMAL
Network:
A&E
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: This is a show where police seek the aid of psychic children to solve their more difficult cases. Yeah, sure. Let’s enlist children to help us find missing persons/dead bodies. That’s a sound plan that couldn’t possibly lead to mental-scarring. And after they find the kidnapping victim/probably corpse, we’ll take them for ice cream so everything will be all good. Keep up the good work, Top Cops!


PARANORMAL STATE
Network:
A&E
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The team travels to a home thought to be possessed by a demon. The inhabitants tell stories of a levitating bed, a growling sound, and vulgar outbursts from their 3-year old daughter. Of course, it would be easy for skeptics to refute these claims. The bed floats because they’re probably hooked on Ambien, the growling sound is Ambien farts, and 3-year olds are generally a$$holes. Boom. Ghosts busted. Next house.

 

TEEN MOM
Network:
MTV
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Rumor has it that Jersey Shore was originally titled Guidos. Well, then logic implies that this show was originally called Teen Milfs.
 


THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Network:
FMC
Time: 10PM – 12AM

Reasons to watch: You need to know this movie backwards and forwards before you can even think about joining my Swashbuckler’s Club.

 
WHO’S ON LATE
 
LENO
Dane Cook

LETTERMAN
Susan Sarandon; David Chang; Colbie Caillat
 
CONAN
Lance Armstrong; Carson Daly; Kid Cudi performs
 
KIMMEL (repeat)
Heidi Klum; Ron Artest; Weezer perform
 
FERGUSON
Kathy Griffin; Harry Connick Jr. performs

FALLON
Tom Arnold; Hannah Teter; Michael McDonald croons

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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 18th – Sunday, December 20th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-december-18th-sunday-december-20th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-december-18th-sunday-december-20th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

SANCTUARY
Network:
Syfy
Time: 10 -11PM

Reasons to watch: The character of Nikola Tesla appears. Isn’t that an awesome name? It’s the most rock-and-roll scientist name out there.
 


CRASH
Network:
Showtime
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch:
The season two finale features a showdown with Manson fanatics. They have those? Still?? In this day and age??? Is Crash about racism or time-traveling racists? I don’t have Showtime so I don’t know.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Glenn Beck

LETTERMAN

Tobey Maguire; Tom Dreesen; Alicia Keys performs

CONAN

Sam Worthington; Nigel Marvin; Foreigner perform

KIMMEL

John Krasinski; James Cameron; Mary J. Blige performs

FERGUSON

Judi Dench; Michelle Rodriguez

FALLON
Jude Law; Abby Elliot; Ronnie Spector performs

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19th, 2009


MY NAME IS BRUCE
Network:
Syfy
Time: 9 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: This is a movie about Bruce Campbell saving a small town from evil. Not some cheesy Lifetime Television movie about Bruce Campbell overcoming rape, as the title would suggest.


RAW ANATOMY: INSIDE THE ELEPHANT
Network:
National Geographic Channel
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: This is your last chance of the decade to see an elephant chopped in two.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20th, 2009


SURVIVOR: SAMOA
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: The jury members cast their votes for the winners. I still think they’re crazy for going there. Samoans are virtuall unstoppable. They’re like Pan-Asian RoboCops. Did the cast members think they’d make it out of there without being boiled in a huge-ass cauldron?


DOMINION: PREQUEL TO THE EXORCIST
Network:
Syfy
Time: 9 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch:
Not to be confused with Exorcist: The Beginning. This is the OTHER crappy Exorcist prequel.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 17th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-17th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-17th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 

SNL PRESENTS: A VERY GILLY CHRISTMAS
Network:
NBC
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Kristen Wiig makes noises in between classic holiday-themed sketches from throughout the long-running series.


AMERICAN CHOPPER
Network:
TLC
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Mikey returns from rehab while the guys make a bike for pool legend The Black Widow. Mikey should have an easy time getting healthy. He seems to be from a healthy, loving family.


JERSEY SHORE
Network:
MTV
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Tonight, Snooki gets fist pumped in her grill piece.


THE MENTALIST
Network:
CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Jane gets hit in the head by a foul ball which brings back memories of his father. What memories would a ball to his chin bring back?


THE KARATE KID PART III
Network:
VS.
Time: 11PM – 1:30AM

Reasons to watch: This is the one with leg sweeps and bonzai plants.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Sam Worthington; Mary J. Blige performs

LETTERMAN
Jude Law; Shannon Eis; Matisyahu performs

CONAN
John Krasinski; Robin Thicke performs

KIMMEL
Rachel McAdams; Johnny Galecki; Allison Iraheta

FERGUSON
Sigourney Weaver; Hank Stuever

FALLON
Paul Shaffer; Boyz II Men

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 17th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-17th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-17th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY WITH JESSE VENTURA
Network:
truTV
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Jesse "The Body" Ventura attempts to disprove the official 9/11 report. Elsewhere, British Bulldog maintains that the Royal Family murdered Princess Diana.


DWARF ADOPTION STORY
Network:
TLC
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: A dwarf couple tries to adopt a dwarf infant from Albania. It’s just like an average adoption story except this time the furniture is tiny.


REAL WORLD / ROAD RULES CHALLENGE: THE RUINS REUNION
Network:
MTV
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The Douchebag Olympians reflect upon their time spent in The Ruins. Then they call each other "bitch" a lot.


NIP/TUCK
Network:
FX
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The Nips (still figuring out a better name) are embroiled in an ethical dilemma when they are asked to remove fat from a death row inmate. Hey! That fat did the crime and now has to do the time.


CSI:NY
Network:
CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Kim Kardashian guest stars. Finally there’s an ass bigger than David Caruso in the CSI universe.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Sigourney Weaver

LETTERMAN
Robert Downey Jr.; Martin Short; Kris Allen performs

CONAN
Wanda Sykes; James Cameron; Myq Kaplan

KIMMEL
Ty Pennington; chicken whisperer Joshua McCarthy; Norah Jones performs

FERGUSON
Bob Barker; Greta Van Susteren

FALLON

Sarah Jessica Parker; Deepak Chopra; Raekwon performs

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-15th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-15th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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If the paranormal children on TV tonight don’t melt our brains, Megan Fox’s hottest moments will.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

NOVA: THE SPY FACTORY
Network:
PBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Next to She Spies, this is the most realistic representation of spies on television.


GORDON RAMSEY: COOKALONG LIVE
Network:
FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The famous chef cooks LIVE ON TELEVISION and the at home audience is invited to cook along. I don’t know. I’m usually already drunk by 10PM on a Tuesday.


PSYCHIC KIDS: CHILDREN OF THE PARANORMAL
Network:
A&E
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: They’d kill us all with mind bullets if we gave them the chance.


MAXIM’S HOTTEST MOMENTS OF 2009
Network:
E!
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Maxim and E! count down your penis’s most important moments of 2009.


SHATNER’S RAW NERVE
Network:
BIO
Time: 11:30PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: Capt Kirk sits down with Scott Baio. Watch as these legendary cocksmen smell one another’s fingers.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Christina Applegate

LETTERMAN
Sarah Jessica Parker; Leona Lewis performs

CONAN
Snooki & The Situation, Norah Jones performs

KIMMEL
Zach Braff; Nigel Lythgoe; Michael McDonald performs

FERGUSON
Kristen Bell; Maria Bello; Jason Schwartzman; Jason Segal and the Broken West perform

FALLON

Marion Cotillard; Jason Reitman; Anne Burrell

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What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 14th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-december-14th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-december-14th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

THE SING-OFF
Network:
NBC
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: NBC goes for Glee‘s sloppy seconds with this a cappella competition hosted by Nick Lachey. No disrespect to our Ivy League readers, but a cappella is lame and dull. Then you throw in the vanilla and crappy Nick Lachey to ensure that it’s a suckfest. What are the odds that this will become waaaayyyyy more popular than it has any right to be?


TRUE LIFE: I HAVE EMBARRASSING PARENTS
Network:
MTV
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Teens are embarrassed by their outlandish parents. One kid has a Star Wars dad and another a nudist mom. Of course Star Wars Dad could never be a nudist. He hates sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.


WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY?
Network:
SUNDANCE
Time: 9 – 10:35PM

Reasons to watch:
More importantly, what would you buy Jesus? Dude’s gotta be pretty sick of frankincense by now.
 


MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE
Network:
TNT
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Scott Bakula becomes obsessed with finding the driver who nearly ran him over. Imagine being that poor bastard. Having to constantly stay one step ahead of Scott Bakula? That’s no way to live.


INSIDE THE REAL COYOTE UGLY
Network:
CMT
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Get an up close and personal look at the turmoil experienced by girls who couldn’t choose between being a bartender or a stripper. Really girls, you’re wearing too many hats. Yes. Take them off. That’s good. Now the t-shirt….

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
James Cameron

LETTERMAN
Hugh Grant; Zoe Saldana; Alicia Keys performs

CONAN
Tom Arnold; Adam Lambert performs

KIMMEL (repeat)
Charlize Theron; Regis Philbin; Donny Osmond; Wolfmother perform

FERGUSON
Joshua Jackson; Lake Bell; Reba McEntire performs

FALLON
Kate Hudson; Giovanni Ribisi; Chevelle perform

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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 11th – Sunday, December 13th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-december-11th-sunday-december-13th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-december-11th-sunday-december-13th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000  My eyes are up here, kid.This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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My eyes are up here, kid.

This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother’s secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11th, 2009


I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY
Network:
USA
Time: 8:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Adam Sandler and Kevin James must pretend to be married to one another in order to keep their health insurance benefits. How does Kevin James always get coupled with love interests way out of his league?


WHERE THE #$&% IS SANTA?
Network:
MTV
Time: 10PM – MIDNIGHT

Reasons to watch: Testicle-kicking enthusiast Bam Margera and his band of merry men travel to the Artic Circle to find Santa Claus. Think of all the wasted resources this excursion used. Phil and April, you need to come clean to your son.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Gordon Ramsay

LETTERMAN
Kyra Sedgewick; Brian Scott McFadden; Joe Perry performs

CONAN
Zach Braff; Bear Grylls; Tony Bennett performs

KIMMEL
Ray Romano; Kim Kardashian; the Mighty Mighty Bosstones perform

FERGUSON
Jim Parsons; They Might Be Giants

FALLON
Snoop Dogg; Mary Steenburgen

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12th, 2009


COPS
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: Ho! Ho! Ho! Volume 7. Officers in Oregon and Texas encounter men with prostitutes. Keep your eyes peeled for Tiger Woods. His week keeps getting better and better.


GANGS OF NEW YORK
Network:
IFC
Time: 8 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Daniel Day Lewis chews the scenery and raw meat in Martin Scorsese’s masterpiece.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13th, 2009


SANTA BABY 2
Network:
ABC FAMILY
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Jenny McCarthy, who once bathed in period blood on film, stars in this whimsical holiday tale for the entire family. Talk about an image makeover.
 


DEXTER
Network:
SHOWTIME
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Dexter and Trinity showdown in the very-hyped season finale. If this episode doesn’t deliver what fans want, expect the show’s creator to be resting in pieces on the floor of the Atlantic.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 10th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-10th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-10th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

COMMUNITY
Network:
NBC
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: Fresh off biting-his-girlfriend’s-forehead allegations, Anthony Michael Hall guests as a bully on Community. Joel McHale had better wear a helmet.


BONES
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Zooey Deschanel, Emily’s younger sister, guest stars as Brennan’s second cousin. How long before David Boreanaz‘s hot wife has a cameo?
 


BIOGRAPHY: BILL MURRAY
Network:
Biography
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The star of Larger Than Life, Osmosis Jones, Garfield, and Get Smart is profiled for all of his achievements.
 


IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Network:
FX
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: The gang returns to the world of competitive flip cup after a ten-year league ban from the tournament. However all of their old rivals have grown up and moved on. Just like all of my paintball rivals. Except for those guys that were in ‘Nam. Let it go fellas.
 


JERSEY SHORE
Network:
MTV
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Ronnie is jealous when Sammi sets her sights on a new guy. Go ahead. Call her mean names but it’s not her fault. No girl is immune to the sweet siren’s caterwaul of TAG Body Spray.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO

Matt Damon

LETTERMAN
Kate Hudson; James Hansen; Tori Amos performs

CONAN
30 Seconds to Mars perform

KIMMEL
Steven Seagal; Jay Sean performs

FERGUSON
Howie Mandel; Paula Marshall

FALLON
Julianne Moore; David Alan Grier; Blakroc perform

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-9th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-9th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

GLEE
Network:
FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Quinn’s world unravels as sectionals approach. Chill, dude. They’re just sofas.

TOP CHEF: LAS VEGAS
Network:
BRAVO
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Season 6 comes to a close tonight and a winner is announced. If Wesley Snipes taught me anything, it’s to always bet on black. Is there a black dude on the show this year? Otherwise, I’m out some money.
 


BARBARA WALTERS PRESENTS: THE 10 MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE OF 2009
Network:
ABC
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Barbara Walters profiles Tyler Perry, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Brett Favre, Kate Gosselin, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Jenny Sanford, and Michael Jackson‘s kids. In other words, people that my mom will know all about tomorrow morning.
 


CSI: NY
Network:
CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: A frantic 911 call leads the team to a booby-trapped penthouse and a 100-year-old corpse. Man, that’s a long time. 911 are such slackers.


STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Network:
A&E
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The K-9 Unit is called in. In a perfect world, it would be led by DMX.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO

Quentin Tarantino

LETTERMAN
Rachel Weisz; Maryjean Ballner; Rob Thomas performs

CONAN
Snoop Dogg; Carl Reiner

KIMMEL
William Shatner; Kirstin McMillan

FERGUSON
Morgan Freeman; Overtone performs

FALLON
Bon Jovi; Susie Essman

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-8th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-8th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV, people who make love to their cars.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

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Tonight on TV, people who make love to their cars.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

MY CAR IS MY LOVER
Network:
BBC America
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: This special provides a profile of people who are not Michael Bay who have sex with their cars.
 


BETTER OFF TED
Network:
ABC
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Season 2 opens with more far-fetched madcap hijinks. Like genetic matchmaking and health care debating.

 


OUTER SPACE ASTRONAUTS
Network:
Syfy
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The new science fiction sitcom grafts the heads of slacker actors on smaller CGI bodies. Because viewers enjoy deformities, I guess?
 


2009 THAT REALLY HAPPENED!?!?
Network:
VH1
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: All the foggy details of 2009 are refreshed for your booze-addled memory.
 


BIOGRAPHY: A TRIBUTE TO JOHN CANDY
Network:
Biography
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch:
The Notorious B.I.G. of Comedy is remembered in this special.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Gabourey Sadibe

LETTERMAN
Barbara Walters; Blakroc performs

CONAN
Josh Brolin; canine artist Tillie; Chad Daniels

KIMMEL
Paul Reubens; The Jacksons; Passion Pit perform

FERGUSON
Michael Clarke Duncan; Gillian Jacobs; Roseanne Cash performs

FALLON
Tom Ford; Jawbox perform

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What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 7th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-december-7th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-december-7th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Andrew Jackson's checkered past, Santa Claus's shady beginnings, and a potential mother-meet on How I Met Your Mother. ALL TONIGHT.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

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Andrew Jackson’s checkered past, Santa Claus‘s shady beginnings, and a potential mother-meet on How I Met Your Mother. ALL TONIGHT.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
Network:
ABC
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: This classic details Santa’s first year on the job as he rises against the evil mayor Burgermeister Meisterburger, who has outlawed all toys. It’s like Batman Begins without the kung-fu and Katie Holmes.


HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch:
Ted’s friends attempt to help him get a date with JoAnna Garcia. Could she be the aforementioned mother? Otherwise they should call this episode "How I Met The Girl I Porked Before I Met Your Mother."


THE DEPARTED
Network:
FX
Time: 8 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch:
What better way to watch Martin Scorsese’s tense and uber-twisty crime drama than with constant interruptions by Dave Holmes and that blonde chick?


HOARDERS
Network:
A&E
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: A woman hoards so much junk that the floors in her house sink and rupture her gas and plumbing lines. In other words, that woman with the junk in the trunk has bad gas.


ANDREW JACKSON: GOOD, EVIL, AND THE PRESIDENCY
Network:
PBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: This profile centers on Andrew Jackson’s success in battle and his overseeing of forcefully removing Native Americans from their lands. Wow. Apparently Andrew Jackson was a total dick. In protest, I urge all readers to send me their twenty dollar bills. I’ll have them disposed of properly.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Susan Sarandon; Andrea Bocelli performs with the Muppets

LETTERMAN
Ray Romano; Anna Kendrick

CONAN
Howie Mandel; Deepak Chopra; Michael McDonald performs

KIMMEL (repeat)
Jake Gyllenhaal; Ashley Greene; Honor Society perform

FERGUSON
Wayne Newton; Shirley Manson

FALLON

Jason Bateman; 50 Cent

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What’s On This Weekend: Friday, December 4th – Sunday, December 6th http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-this-weekend-friday-december-4th-sunday-december-6th/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-this-weekend-friday-december-4th-sunday-december-6th/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 This weekend, Blake Lively hosts SNL as well as a party in my pants.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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This weekend, Blake Lively hosts SNL as well as a party in my pants.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Dollhouse
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch:
Whedonette Summer Glau guest stars in back-to-back episodes set at the D.C Dollhouse. Fox is airing double episodes all this month in an effort to get the series off the air as soon as possible. Like the whole thing never happened.
 

MONK
Network:
USA
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The series comes to an end tonight with Monk finally solving his wife’s murder. Were the germs the killer all along? If not, Monk has some real apologizing to do.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Kelsey Grammer

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Al Gore; Brad Paisley performs

CONAN
Rachel McAdams; Diane Birch performs

KIMMEL
Don Rickles; Anika Noni Rose; Band Of Skulls performs

FERGUSON

Emily Blunt; Ed Alonzo; OneRepublic performs

FALLON (repeat)
Fred Armisen; Carey Mulligan; Daniel Boulud

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5th, 2009


SHATNER’S RAW NERVE
Network:
Biography
Time: 11PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: Comely lass Jenna Jameson is on Shatner’s couch tonight. The mental image that paints has scared my penis into early retirement.

 

SNL
Network:
NBC
Time: 11:30PM – 1AM

Reasons to watch: Hottie McHotstuff Blake Lively hosts. My penis is officially out of retirement.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th, 2009
 


DEXTER
Network:
Showtime
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: This season got off to a mediocre beginning but has turned so f*cking good. Tonight as Deb closes in on him, Trinity turns the tables on Dexter. With only one more episode after this, Dexter had better devise a plan soon if he wants to see Trinity chopped up into little pieces.

 

ALICE
Network:
Syfy
Time: 9 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: In this gritty, modernization of Alice In Wonderland, a young martial arts instructor is pulled into a parallel universe via a magic mirror. I’d only watch if that martial artist was Steven Seagal.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-3rd-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-december-3rd-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 MTV sets Italian-Americans back to pre-Colombus with tonight's 2-hour premiere of Jersey Shore.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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MTV sets Italian-Americans back to pre-Colombus with tonight’s 2-hour premiere of Jersey Shore.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 

PARKS AND RECREATION
Network:
NBC
Time: 8:30 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Leslie organizes a night out on the town to cheer up Tom after hearing news of his divorce. Alas, only one thing can heal that kind of pain. Egging your wife’s lawyer’s house.


30 ROCK
Network:
NBC
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Liz goes Oprah with Dealbreakers, the talkshow. Just keep Tracy Morgan off the couch. I get the feeling he’ll do more than jump on it.


JERSEY SHORE
Network:
MTV
Time: 10PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: No joke I write here can elicit the laughs this show will cause. It is the most enjoyable two hours of television in recorded history.
 


IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Network:
FX
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Dee gets a part in an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Mac and Charlie see this as an opportunity to pitch their own film. Can’t be worse than The Happening.
 


THE LEAGUE
Network:
FX
Time: 10:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Ruxin and Taco embark on a mission to Chinatown. Let’s hope this story has a happy ending.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Morgan Freeman

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Tina Fey; Chris "Mad Dog" Russo; Mika performs

CONAN
John Travolta; Rod Stewart performs

KIMMEL

Jake Gyllenhaal; Ashley Greene; Honor Society performs

FERGUSON
George Lopez; David Bianculli; Jason Hudy

FALLON (repeat)
Robin Williams; Rashida Jones
 

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-2nd-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-december-2nd-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight, Steven Seagal takes the law into his own hands. Literally, this time.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight, Steven Seagal takes the law into his own hands. Literally, this time.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 


CHRISTMAS IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER
Network:
NBC
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Jane Krakowski and Zachary Levi host the 77th annual lighting of the Christmas tree. Musical guests include not the Black Eyed Peas, thankfully.


BAD GIRLS CLUB
Network:
Oxygen
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Season 4 of Lady Assholes (alt title) opens with seven female assholes moving into a luxury Los Angeles mansion. The carpet will definitely need to be replaced after they leave.


MYTHBUSTERS
Network:
Discovery
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The team put a myth about a prisoner who broke out of a steel-reinforced concrete cell using antacids to the test. Hmmm, Antacid Jai Break. Didn’t they play Warped Tour recently?


THE MAKING OF’AVATAR
Network:
HBO
Time: 9:45 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: James Cameron’s 11 year film making process is glossed over and boiled down to 15 minutes. Burn After Reading follows.
 


STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Network: A&E
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Steven Seagal brings his unintentional hilarity to the streets of New Orleans, a city that could use a good laugh. And a better school system. And a new mayor.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Dane Cook
 
LETTERMAN (repeat)
Jack Hanna; Shakira
 
CONAN
Jenny McCarthy; Gabriel Iglesias
 
KIMMEL
Matt Dillon; Nikki Reed; Baby and Jay Sean perform
 
FERGUSON
Paul Shaffer; Shohreh Aghdashloo
 
FALLON (repeat)
Taylor Lautner; Katey Sagal; Obits perform
 

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-1st-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-december-1st-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight, scantily-clad supermodels prance about the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Also, the President gives a speech or something.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight, scantily-clad supermodels prance about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Also, the President gives a speech or something.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS TO THE NATION
Network:
ALL
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch:
President Obama outlines "Operation: Exit Stage Left," his strategy to finish the job in Afghanistan.
 


SCRUBS
Network:
ABC
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Season nine introduces us to a new generation of half-wit med students. Between this and Patch Adams, I really hope that I never get sick.
 


VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW
Network:
CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Good news and bad news. Good news is boobies. Bad news is somebody invited the Black Eyed Peas to perform. Why are they always ruining my good time?!!
 


SONS OF ANARCHY
Network:
F/X
Time: 10 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch: SAMCRO takes care of Adam Arkin’s Zobelle once and for all. For those not fluent in Bikernese, that means they’re going to parade around town with his head on a spear.


MY FAKE BABY
Network:
BBC
Time: 11PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: This special follows women who care for fake, plastic babies as if they are alive. I’d make a joke here but my pocket vagina would never forgive me.

WHO’S ON LATE

LETTERMAN (repeat)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Guy Fieri; Carrie Underwood performs

CONAN
Tobey Maguire; Rickie Lee Jones performs

KIMMEL
Magic Johnson; Kellan Lutz

FERGUSON

Joel McHale; Mike Super; the Swell Season perform

FALLON (repeat)
Kristen Stewart; Jamie Kennedy; the Avet Brothers perform

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What’s On TV This Thanksgiving Weekend http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-thanksgiving-weekend/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-thanksgiving-weekend/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 This Thanksgiving weekend, television is thankful for strippers.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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This Thanksgiving weekend, television is thankful for strippers.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25th, 2009


CRIMINAL MINDS
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Master of Disguise C. Thomas Howell returns as The Reaper to terrorize Hotch and his family. He could be anyone at anytime. Even a black dude


SOUTH PARK
Network:
COMEDY CENTRAL
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: The annual Thanksgiving showing of Helen Keller: The Musical! This is my second favorite holiday tradition. My favorite is listening to That Woman Who Was Attacked By A Chimp’s Christmas Album.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO

Paula Patton

LETTERMAN
Natalie Portman; Adam Lambert performs

CONAN
Norm MacDonald; Gretchen Bleiler; Dan Cummings

KIMMEL
Charles Barkley; Peter Facinelli; Leona Lewis performs

FERGUSON
Robin Wright Penn; Wolfgang Puck

FALLON
Seth Green; Padma Lakshi; Mos Def and Talib Kweli perform

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 26th, 2009


CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: The Peanuts Gang warp back to 1620 to portray the Mayflower’s original settlers. Unfortunately Linus’s small pox blanket wipes out the lot of them.


CHARLIE ROSE
Network:
PBS
Time: 11PM – MIDNIGHT

Reasons to watch: Kooky nutbar Tim Burton is the guest. Make a drinking game out of it. Shots everytime he says "corpse" or bashfully hides behind his Dracula cowl.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27th, 2009


MONK
Network:
USA
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: In the penultimate episode of the series, Monk pieces together clues about his wife’s murder. It only took eight years. Adrien Monk, man of action. 


THE SOUP
Network:
E!
Time: 11 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch: Joel McHale takes a swing at daytime and reality television‘s low hanging fruit.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28th, 2009


THE INCREDIBLES
Network:
NBC
Time: 8:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Disney stops just short of fulfilling every girl’s dream of seeing Craig T. Nelson in a spandex bodysuit. 


THE WRESTLER
Network:
HBO
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Mickey Rourke rises back to prominence in his career-reviving role of Mickey Rourke With Long Hair.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30th, 2009


A DOG NAMED CHRISTMAS
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: A developmentally-disabled boy advocates that everyone in his town adopts a dog for Christmas. Even though his own father is against it. I can’t believe somebody actually had this idea and was moved to write it down. And then Hollywood was compelled to make it. 


CALIFORNICATION
Network:
SHOWTIME
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Hank and Charlie get caught up in the middle of a convenience store robbery. How will Hank f*ck his way out of this one?

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 24th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-24th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-24th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 A winner is crowned on tonight's Dancing With The "Stars."CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

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A winner is crowned on tonight’s Dancing With The "Stars."

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

DANCING WITH THE STARS
Network:
ABC
Time: 9 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The night that you can hardly give a crap about is finally here. Who will win? I don’t care. I just find it remarkable that Adam Carolla and the Muppets will inexplicably be appearing in tonight’s episode.
 


NCIS: LOS ANGELES
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Pauley Perrette crosses over to the Los Angeles team to track a serial killer. I swear that there are more serial killers on CBS dramas than there are in real life.


SONS OF ANARCHY
Network:
FX
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Looks like we’re going to have a good old fashioned biker battle. Remember, it’s not over until you piss in the whites of their eyes.
 


JON DORE SHOW
Network:
IFC
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Jon Dore fights for all men when he is discriminated against sexually at a Ladies Night event. Jon, dude, don’t be such a spazz. There are girls watching.
 


DINNER WITH THE BAND
Network:
IFC
Time: 11 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch: This IFC series proves that musicians will never turn down a free meal. Unless it’s Willie Nelson. He weighs less than his guitar.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Charles Barkley

LETTERMAN
Zac Efron; Carrie Fisher; Rihanna performs

CONAN
Jack McBrayer; Marissa Miller; Weezer perform

KIMMEL
Charlize Theron; Regis Philbin; Wolfmother perform

FERGUSON
Maria Bello; Peter Capaldi

FALLON
Claire Danes; Chad Ochocinco; the Pixies perform

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What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, November 23rd, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-23rd-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-23rd-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Katee Sackhoff returns to nerd-bonering tonight. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!

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Katee Sackhoff returns to nerd-bonering tonight.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!

 
 
 
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: The gang honors tradition in tonight’s ‘sode Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap. This is a strange tradition unless you are the guys from Jackass or Chris Brown.
 


SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS WITH LEWIS BLACK
Network:
HISTORY
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: America’s leading Grinch walks us through the holidays. In this special, Black works as a mall Santa which ironically is former Daily Show host Craig Kilborn’s primary source of income these days.

 

TRAUMA
Network:
NBC
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: NBC’s recently uncanceled high octane drama explodes all over Thanksgiving’s face when a plane full of holiday travelers is forced to make an emergency landing.
 


THE BIG BANG THEORY
Network:
CBS
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Katee Sackhoff returns to giving nerd boners in a guest role where she gives one of the show’s nerds a boner.

 

NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE
Network:
MTV
Time: 10PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: This surprisingly hilarious send-up of crappy teen movies gets it sooo right. Varsity Blues gets the dressing down that it so richly deserves.
 


CASTLE
Network:
ABC
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: A man’s wife and fiancee come forward when he is found dead in a garbage chute. Chances are they decide to leave him there.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Arnold Schwarzenegger

LETTERMAN
Robin Williams; Ashley Greene

CONAN
Taylor Lautner; John Cleese; a performance by Timbaland with Nelly Furtado and SoShy

KIMMEL
Heidi Klum; Ron Artest; Weezer perform

FERGUSON
Margaret Cho; Carl Edwards

FALLON
Blake Lively; Tommy Lee
 

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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 20th – Sunday, November, 22nd http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-november-20th-sunday-november-22nd/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-november-20th-sunday-november-22nd/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 This weekend, the Seinfelds reunite!!!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

The post What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 20th – Sunday, November, 22nd appeared first on Screen Junkies.

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This weekend, the Seinfelds reunite!!!

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20th, 2009


SMALLVILLE
Network:
CW
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Lois reveals what she saw in her flash-forward vision — a Metropolis ruled over by Zod and Clark powerless due to the red sun. This revelation causes Clark to make a big decision about Zod. Ummm, that he’s a dick maybe?


FIRED UP!
Network:
Starz
Time: 11PM – 12:35AM

Reasons to watch: Finally a movie that takes the raunch of Euro Trip and combines it with the gravitas of Road Trip: Beer Pong.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Kellan Lutz

LETTERMAN
Viggo Mortenson; Paula Poundstone; Lyle Lovett performs

CONAN
Eva Mendes; Jon Bon Jovi; Bon Jovi performs

KIMMEL
Robert Pattinson; Kristen Stewart; Taylor Lautner; Death Cab for Cutie performs

FERGUSON
Niel Patrick Harris; David Gray performs

FALLON
Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Elvis Costello performs

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21st, 2009


AUSTIN CITY LIMITS
Network:
PBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Pearl Jam take to the Austin Stage with their arsenal of good time, sunshiney, happy songs.


PAULY SHORE AND FRIENDS
Network:
Showtime
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Pauly Shore hosts comics on the LOL Tour. The show includes Iliza Shlesinger, who’s hotness almost makes sitting through Pauly Shore bearable.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd, 2009


CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Network:
HBO
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The Seinfeld Reunion episode that everyone wanted finally airs. I’ve never been this excited to hear mouth-bass.


AMERICAN DAD
Network:
FOX
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Stan becomes the world’s biggest My Morning Jacket fan. Better late than never Stan. My Morning Jacket officially jumped the shark.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, November 19th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-november-19th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-november-19th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV, hot chicks and Lucifer - the original douchebag.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on TV, hot chicks and Lucifer – the original douchebag.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 

LOCKJAW: RISE OF THE KULEV SERPENT
Network:
Syfy
Time: 7:30 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: DMX and a rocket launcher versus a giant snake/alligator monster. Also of note, it clocks in at an hour and a half WITH commercials. We’re talking real quality here you guys.
 


COMMUNITY
Network:
NBC
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: Jeff befriends Señor Chang in an effort to chill him out but the two grow close. ¡Alarma de Bromance!
 


30 ROCK
Network:
NBC
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Al Gore guest stars on an episode where Kenneth makes an effort to go green. People still do that? Green is still a thing??? Hmmm, fancy that. ***sips from mug of motor oil***


FRINGE
Network:
FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Observer Week comes to a head tonight with this Observer-centric episode. So if you’ve seen any creepy, bald men wearing trechcoats hanging out in your bushes, it’s just part of this marketing stunt. Don’t call the police.


SUPERNATURAL
Network:
CW
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Sam and Dean enlist Bobby, Ellen and Jo to help lay the smackdown on Lucifer. And seeing as this is the last new episode of the year, me smells a cliffhanger that will probably have me anxious for January to arrive.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Dakota Fanning

LETTERMAN
Stephen Colbert; John Mayer perfroms

CONAN
Nicole Kidman; Anderson Cooper; Leona Lewis performs

KIMMEL
Carrie Underwood; Heidi and Spencer Pratt

FERGUSON
Sandra Bullock; Ben Foster

FALLON
Taylor Lautner; Katey Sagal; Obits perform

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-november-18th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-november-18th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight's TV has some big name guest stars. And Skeet Ulrich.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight’s TV has some big name guest stars. And Skeet Ulrich.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
 
MODERN FAMILY
Network:
ABC
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: The best new show on television brings in some serious guest stars. Edward Norton and Elizabeth Banks appear in tonight’s episode. Word on the street is that Norton is an obsessive fan of the show and that’s how he landed the part. If that logic holds up, you will soon see me in the role of ‘Bikini Inspector’ on Deal Or No Deal.
 


CRIMINAL MINDS
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch:
The team must turn to the most vile killer they have ever encountered, "The Fox", for assistance in tracking a serial killer. Really? He calls himself "The Fox"? That’s dorky even by social outcast standards.
 

SOUTH PARK
Network:
Comedy Central
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: A trip to the water park has apocalyptic repercussions. Let it serve as a warning to all that have ever toiled with the idea of making pee pee in a pool.
 


CSI: NY
Network:
CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The producers cast rising stars of 1997 for an episode featuring Skeet Ulrich and Nelly. Apparently Coolio was uncharacteristically not available.

 

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
Network:
USA
Time: 11PM – 1AM

Reasons to watch: Aaron Eckhart perfects the role of sympathetic asshole in Jason Reitman‘s directorial debut. But let’s not overlook the work of Jim Carrey’s butt in Ace Ventura: Rectum Damned Near Killed Him.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Larry the Cable Guy

LETTERMAN
Robert Pattinson; Ray Davies performs

CONAN
Seth Green; Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt; The Brian Setzer Orchestra perform

KIMMEL
Mary Albert; 50 Cent

FERGUSON
David Duchovny; Lewis Black

FALLON
Kristen Stewart; Jamie Kennedy; the Avet Brothers perform

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-17th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-17th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 After tonight's episode of Melrose Place, it will be perfectly acceptable to call Heather Locklear a bitch again.  CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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After tonight’s episode of Melrose Place, it will be perfectly acceptable to call Heather Locklear a bitch again. 

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
 
V
Network:
ABC
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: The Visitors are granted Diplomatic Immunity. Now the only force on this planet powerful enough to stop them is Danny Glover.

 

NCIS
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: During a citywide power blackout the NCISketeers must rely on old-fashioned detective work to solve a murder. Will they be able to catch the killer without the aid of their fancy gadgetry? Hard to say seeing as batteries and generators won’t be invented for another 50 years.

 

MELROSE PLACE
Network:
CW
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Heather Locklear returns to the role that made everyone call her a huge bitch.

 

PIZZA WARS: NEW YORK VS. CHICAGO
Network:
TRAVEL
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Whoever wins… we lose.

 

THE HILLS
Network: MTV
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Heidi hatches a plan to get pregnant with or without Spencer’s consent. Any volunteers?

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Tyra Banks

LETTERMAN
Penelope Cruz; Joe Cada; a performance by the Script

CONAN
50 Cent; Jane Lynch

KIMMEL
John Stamos; Emily VanCamp; OneRepublic perform

FERGUSON
Woody Harrelson; Joe Theismann

FALLON
Cheech and Chong; Neko Case performs

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What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, November 16th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-16th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-16th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on Gossip Girl, uber-nutjob Lady Gaga cameos. I'll be so bummed if she doesn't wear her Kermit dress. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on Gossip Girl, uber-nutjob Lady Gaga cameos. I’ll be so bummed if she doesn’t wear her Kermit dress.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
HOUSE
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Jolene Blalock guest stars in an episode where House treats a porn star who is experiencing eye pain. Write your own joke. I’m going to the pantry to get some M&M’s.
 


THE PRISONER
Network:
AMC
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Magneto captures Jesus and forces him to live on an island. Not the best plan. Dude can just walk on water his ass out of there.
 


TWO AND A HALF MEN
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Tricia Helfer guest stars as a woman distraught after a recen break up. Will Charlie be able to keep his hands out of the vagina cookie jar?

 

LIE TO ME
Network:
FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: An after-Thanksgiving sale leads to a deadly stampede at a megastore. Always sad when this happens but alas completely unavoidable. Your life is a small price to pay for a discounted Snuggie.


GOSSIP GIRL
Network:
CW
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: In the hopes of impressing her snooty classmates, Blair recruits Lady Gaga for a private concert. If presenting a period blood coated chanteuse doesn’t win her new friends then she’s just not college material.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Taylor Lautner

LETTERMAN
Sharon Stone; Seth Myers; Wyclef Jean and Cyndi Lauper perform

CONAN
Kristen Stewart; Judd Apatow; Carrie Underwood performs

KIMMEL (repeat)
Ted Danson; Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom; Chickenfoot performs

FERGUSON
LL Cool J; Mindy Kaling; Ben Harper and the Relentless7 perform

FALLON
Tim McGraw; Anna Torv; Josh Capon

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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 13th – Sunday, November 15th http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-november-13th-sunday-november-15th/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-this-weekend-friday-november-13th-sunday-november-15th/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Easy on the eyes January Jones hosts SNL while murder on the ears Black Eyed Peas are the musical guest. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!! 

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Easy on the eyes January Jones hosts SNL while murder on the ears Black Eyed Peas are the musical guest.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
 

 
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13th, 2009
 

SMALLVILLE
Network:
CW
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch:
Wonder Twins Zan and Jayna make Clark’s life more difficult. It’s ridiculous that these characters would be brought into the storyline but where’s their monkey Gleek? If you’re gonna suck may as well go down in flames.
 

I’M ALIVE
Network:
Animal Planet
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Visitors to a chimpanzee sanctuary end up fighting for their lives and find out the true meaning of the phrase, "ape shit."

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Terrence Howard

LETTERMAN

Mariah Carey; Kumail Nanjiani

CONAN
Reese Witherspoon; Danny Devito; Kris Allen performs

KIMMEL
Diddy; Super Dave Osbourne; Huey Lewis and the News

FERGUSON
Harry Connick Jr.; Peter Sagal

FALLON
Amanda Peet; Steven Ward; Kid Sister performs

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14th, 2009

 

SUPER DAVE’S SPIKE-TACULAR
Network:
Spike
Time: 11 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch: Accident-prone stuntman Super Dave tries to break a NASCAR speed record in a Mini Cooper on an explosives-rigged track. Sounds pretty far-fetched. Was Vin Diesel involved with the planning of this?

 

SNL
Network:
NBC
Time: 11:30PM – 1AM

Reasons to watch: Mad Men mademoiselle January Jones hosts with musical guest The Black Eyed Peas. Nice work SNL. You’re simultaneously pleasuring my eyes while raping my ears.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15th, 2009

 

THE SIMPSONS
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: Marge gets plied with alcohol and poses for steamy pictures. Word gets out and she becomes the talk on the town. Barney even takes to calling her "ice crotch."

 

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Network:
HBO
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Leon assumes a new identity and Larry is baffled by text messages from a child. Are these texts coming through late at night? Perhaps Larry accidentally switched phones with Roman Polanski.

The post What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, November 13th – Sunday, November 15th appeared first on Screen Junkies.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, November 12th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-november-12th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-thursday-november-12th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight is all about short, horny, crazy people. It's Verne Troyer Day!!!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight is all about short, horny, crazy people. It’s Verne Troyer Day!!!

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
BONES
Network:
FOX
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: A dwarf wrestler is killed. That’s what happens when you hit them with non-tiny chairs.
 


THE OFFICE
Network:
NBC
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Michael’s mental state is questioned and Andy screws up in his attempts to woo Erin. Weird. I always thought A Cappella guys got all the girls. I’m totally quitting The Gold Throats.

 

FRINGE
Network:
FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The team deals with a hostage situation which they find has a connection to Massive Dynamic. Hostage situations may seem like big inconveniences but they are an excellent source of free pizza.
 


SUPERNATURAL
Network:
CW
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: The Wincheste Brothers are tricked into attending a Supernatural convention based on the stories that are based on their lives. It’s a hokey good time until a ghost shows up and they must spring into action. Lately the plotlines on this show have seemed so corny on paper but somehow each are executed perfectly. Tonight should be no exception.

 

SEX REHAB WITH DR. DREW
Network:
VH1
Time: 11PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: Dr. Drew tries to ruin all of our favorite hornball celebrities. YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE, DREW!!

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Penelope Cruz

LETTERMAN
Amanda Peet; scientist kids; The Cribs perform

CONAN
Al Gore; Jason Mraz performs

KIMMEL
Eric Dane; Streeter Seidell and Amir Blumenfeld; Switchfoot performs

FERGUSON
Paula Marshall; Nick Griffin; Trace Adkins performs

FALLON
Kate Walsh; Penn and Teller; Goodie Mob performs

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What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-november-11th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-wednesday-november-11th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Between The CMA's, CBS's comedy block, and Secret Girlfriend, tonight is all about hot chicks and fat dudes. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Between The CMA’s, CBS’s comedy block, and Secret Girlfriend, tonight is all about hot chicks and fat dudes.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
43rd ANNUAL CMA AWARDS LIVE
Network:
ABC
Time: 8 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood host. Performers include Paisley, Underwood, Jason Aldean, Brooks and Dunn, Neckerchief Joe, Kenny Chesney, Dave Matthews, Horace Spittoonwater, Billy Currington, Vince Gill, Daughtry, Jonny Gangreen, Jamey Johnson, Kid Rock, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert, Zeke Caruthers, Martina McBride, Tim McGraw, Moonshine, Darius Rucker, George Strait, Sugarland, Ira Goldbaum, Taylor Swift, Keith Urban and Zac Brown Band.

 

GARY UNMARRIED
Network:
CBS
Time: 8:30 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Hot-as-sin Nadine Velazquez guest stars as a woman that wants to spend all her time with Gary. This could only happen in Sitcom World. It’s because of the screwy physics there.

 

CRIMINAL MINDS
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Gavin Rossdale plays a goth rock star that appears to be followed by a killer. But the team wonders if he’s taking the act too far and commiting the murders himself. The only way to solve this case is to get baked and listen to his records backward. Meet me in my parents’ basement/crime lab.

 

P.O.V.
Network:
PBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Three senior citizens thank soldiers at a Maine airport who are arriving from or departing for Afghanistan and Iraq. The seniors offer the troops handshakes, cookies, and free cellphones. Ummm, thanks for fighting and stuff. Here’s an old woman to kiss. Also, we got you 100 free minutes from Boost mobile. So yeah, thanks for the freedom.

 

SECRET GIRLFRIEND
Network:
Comedy Central
Time: 9:30 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Mandy would like to get back together with "you." Not you you. But the you from the TV show. The probably fat one.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Sandra Bullock

LETTERMAN
Kate Walsh; Andre Agassi; Norah Jones performs

CONAN
Heather Locklear; Rodman performs

KIMMEL
Dominic Monaghan; Los Lonely Boys perform

FERGUSON
Kenneth Branagh

FALLON
Joan Cusack; Carly Simon performs

The post What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 appeared first on Screen Junkies.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-10th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-tuesday-november-10th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on TV we have cavemen, criminals, and trustafarians. Evolution has not been pretty. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC 

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Tonight on TV we have cavemen, criminals, and trustafarians. Evolution has not been pretty.

 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC
 

 

NOVA: BECOMING HUMAN
Network:
PBS
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: You need to tune into this before you can fully appreciate the Pauly Shore / Brendan Fraser classic, Encino Man.

 
SCARE TACTICS
Network:
Syfy
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Tonight a young woman finds unbalanced host Tracy Morgan in her bedroom. Run! For the sanctity of your vagina!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

INDEPENDENT LENS
Network: PBS
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Follows Rogue Wave drummer on tour while he deals with a failing kidney and finding a donor. Features performances by Death Cab for Cutie’s Ben Gibbard, Nada Surf, and John Vanderslice. The only rock stars clean enough to have kidneys suitable for transplant.

 
THE HILLS
Network:
MTV
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Boobs gets mad at Blonde because Choad is two-timing them. Elsewhere, Douche considers a career in club promotions.

 

SONS OF ANARCHY
Network: FX
Time: 10 – 11:30PM

Reasons to watch: The FBI closes in on SAMCRO’s repo business. It’s getting harder and harder to earn a dishonest, violence-based buck these days.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Owen Benjamin

LETTERMAN
Jack Hanna; Shakira performs

CONAN
Jessica Biel; Super Dave Osbourne; John Fogerty performs

KIMMEL
Bill Simmons; Dancing With The Stars cast-off; Amerie performs

FERGUSON
Adam Arkin; Nina Garcia

FALLON
Troy Polamalu; Wale performs

The post What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 appeared first on Screen Junkies.

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What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, November 9th, 2009 http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-9th-2009/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/whats-on-tv-tonight-monday-november-9th-2009/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Tonight on television we get a double-shot of Thicke.  CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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Tonight on television we get a double-shot of Thicke.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
 
HOUSE
Network:
Fox
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Tonight, House tries to cure a teen with swollen appendages. Teen? Swollen appendages?? Sounds like Roman Polanski‘s idea of a romantic evening.

 

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Network:
CBS
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: The gang recruits Alan Thicke to break up Robin and Barney. Because no woman is invulnerable to the piercing gaze of a jingle-writer turned actor.

 

JESSE JAMES’ HIDDEN TREASURE
Network:
History
Time: 8 – 10PM

Reasons to watch:
That’s a really misleading show name. I thought this was porn. Nevermind.
 

TWO AND A HALF MEN
Network:
CBS
Time: 9 – 9:30PM

Reasons to watch: Alan and Charlie wake up together with a woman they don’t remember. Ahhh yes, the classic Sheen/Cryer Sex Sandwich. This was a frequent occurence back in 1986. I can’t say that I approve though. They are setting a bad example for their half-man.

 

GOSSIP GIRL
Network:
CW
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Some kind of teen soap opera stuff happens but more importantly, Leighton Meester and Robin Thicke’s single, "Somebody To Love" is featured. DID YOU HEAR ME??!!! WHAT’S HER FACE AND THAT ONE DUDE’S NEW SINGLE IS FEATURED.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Howie Mandel

LETTERMAN
Bill Murray; Gabourey Sidibe

CONAN
Kelsey Grammar; Major Brian Davis and his dog, Nubs; David Gray performs

KIMMEL (repeat)
Jamie Foxx; Toby Keith performs

FERGUSON
Carla Gugino; Dennis Lehane

FALLON
Laurence Fishburne; Elmo and Rosita

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