Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Shia LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Tyrese Gibson

Synopsis: The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and to learn its secrets

Release Date: June 29, 2011

The clip is a teaser in that it takes us right up to the moment of conflict, but it does peak my curiosity, but in wingsuits. Might they be made for formal occasions? I plan on gaining A LOT of weight this summer. Will I still be able to use one in mid-autumn if I weigh 400 lbs?

Anyway, here’s a clip of some army guys acting like sugar gliders. It’s cooler than it sounds.

It’s looking like the Transformers are raising hell in another downtown. Couldn’t they find a nice farm or pasture to battle in? It would really cut down on the destruction they cause all the civilians.

Other observations:

• Optimus Prime is a bit of a twirler
• Bumblebee has gotten pretty good at parkour
• Flying squirrel people are our last line of defense

God help us all.

They’ve been dribbling out stills for a while now, so there isn’t much to say other than T3 Day (a little something I’ve made up) hits July 1st and these pictures remind us that Shia, Rosie, Michael, Bumble, and Optimus all brought their A-game to entertain you, the audience. So go see their movie. I’ve heard it’s a real thinkpiece.

Even with a busy shooting schedule, Michael Bay makes time for his Tai Chi.

Way to go, Optimus. It looks like they Decepticons only took out like 2 million people before you stopped them.

Thinking she will be distracted by the robots, Shia LaBeouf reaches for Rosie Huntingon-Whitely’s labia, but misjudges the distance and grabs only air.

William H. Macy had to get up at 3:30 AM every morning for 3 hours of prosthetics and makeup to turn into Bumblebee.

His thoughts on the series being rebooted after Transformers: Dark Of The Moon:

“It still could be rebooted. Not with Shia. He’s turning grumpy in his old age. He’s like a little brother to me but I told him, ‘I’m never going to work with you when you’re older.’ [Shia said] ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re just a grump.’ You put him on a wire and he turns into this evil monster. Other actors say, ‘This is really fun,’ he’s just the opposite.”

How he raised the bar to film the craziest stunt he’s ever filmed:

“We did one of the craziest things I’ve ever filmed which is these wingsuit guys [extreme base jumpers]. I’m like, ‘I’m writing a scene for those guys.’ We have this great scene where they fly between the buildings. We had to block off a mile and a half, they made turns around the buildings, very close, but the city [of Chicago] allowed us to do that. Jumping off the Sears Tower flying through the streets. That’s just unheard of.”

And why you should never, EVER criticize his editing:

“You know what, you should do a study on Paul Greengrass movies and mine… I was one of the first way back when to do ‘Bad Boys’ in a fast cutting style. I was one of the first to do the fast cutting style… I didn’t have a lot of money, I had nine million… almost no movies did that fast cut, I got a lot of shit for it. Now you look at action movies today, then you look at Paul Greengrass, they get nominated for an Academy Award for cutting so f—ing fast. My cuts, we should analyze, we should do a math test, take the same length of movie and see who has more cuts. I‘ll have less cuts, I guarantee you. It’s a stigma that sticks with me and it’s not fair.

“I get a little hot under the collar about the editing,” he said with a smile.

I didn’t see Transformers 2, but my understanding is that all I missed were a bunch of racist transform-o-bots. However, the first Transformers movie focused a lot on the stupid boring humans, and these pictures show a bunch of stupid boring humans. So for the next batch of pictures, let’s see some sports cars that turn into ninjas or something.

Transformers 3 explodes in 3D theaters on July 1st (Collider, SpoilerTV)

For those of you curious what blurry, incomprehensible clusterf*ck of sharp metal Megatron will transform into in Michael Bay’s Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, the wait is over. We have pictures that reveal the robot’s new disguise.

After having twisted into some kind of jet that looked like it was designed by GWAR in the first film, Megatron chose to become a tank for the sequel. Now, thanks to a picture of a new Megatron toy over at JoBlo we know that Megatron takes the form of a pretty gnarled up tractor trailer truck in the third film. All that it’s missing is “WASH ME” written into the windshield dust.

Check out the toy pics and set pics below, while I prepare to travel home for the holiday and explain to my dad that I write about robot disguises for a living.

"I saw her first, Gibson."

Michael Bay sat down with a  few reporters recently to present the Transformers 3 teaser. He also took the opportunity to talk about his new found love of 3D, his new leading lady, and his sh*tty sense of humor. And this guy’s a talker, so I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible.

On the new film versus Transformers 2:

“On the second movie we got burned. We had a writers strike, we had to agree on a story in three weeks, and then we knew they were going on strike. It was a fucked scenario all the way around, it wasn’t fair to the writer, it wasn’t fair to me, it wasn’t fair to anybody. It was still an entertaining movie, but I think we failed on certain aspects. What we did with this movie is I think we have a much better script, and we got back to basics. I think there’s some really cool action on this movie, there’s some very cool conspiracy, there’s great robot stuff in this that people were missing in the second one, you’ve got great robot conflict. So I’m excited about this movie.

It’s more serious. I got rid of the dorky comedy, I mean we’ve got two little characters, that’s it, but the dorkiness is not there. Dork-free Transformers. It’s much more serious. It’s still entertaining, it’s big looking. I think it’s much more compelling, what we did, how we funneled our action, what we’ve got our characters doing, they’ve got a lot more to do.”

On Rosie Hunginton-Whitely:

“I would never hire a model. ["Yeah right. - Ed.] I’ve shot plenty of the Victoria’s Secret stuff and they’ve been good clients of mine for years. She was very spunky and she has this cute English accent. She has a great head on her shoulders in terms of smart, intelligent, and well-spoken. And I just said to her “have you ever been interested in being an actress?” and she goes “yea.”  And [the casting woman] came in, and she said, “I gotta tell you Michael…this girl can be a star.” So we looked at the tape, and showed Steven [Spielberg] the tape and everyone was really intrigued. We brought her on set with Shia [LaBeouf] and the crew, and we shot with her for six hours. We put her with an acting coach and I kept telling her to be herself. She did really well in the tests and Shia really liked her and she did a really good job. I saw her really improve, and she’s so sweet. It was good; I think it was a good change. I love her English accent.”

He’d also like to get the word out that the film was primarily shot on 3D:

“There is a right way to do it and a wrong way. I think, personally. If you want to do proper 3D it’s a $30 million price tag. You don’t to admit it, but that’s what it really is to do proper 3D. Studios will sometimes do it or $10 million, or $12 million. $30 million, in terms of the equipment, the crew. That camera equipment is really expensive to rent. And if you want to do dual eye-rendered robots, you got another 30% charge, because you got two eyes now, two different visual effects that have got to be blended. There’s more work on the visual effects shots. Does that make sense? We spent about seven months or eight months before the movie investigating all the conversion companies.

What I decided to do, in terms of my 3D, the only way I was gonna make a 3D schedule—what I did when I did my test is I shot film alongside video. We shot most of my close-ups with faces with anamorphic film, cause that stuff’s easier to convert and it’s just more beautiful than the digital. And then there’s stuff where it’s just not ready for primetime: it can’t really do slow-motion, it can’t be around giant dustballs, I mean you’re dealing with electronics here.”

He also goes on to say that this will probably be his final Transformers film. Until James Cameron invents a new film technology of course. (Collider)

_{Back away slowly, Mark.}

Entertainment Tonight visited the set of Transformers: Dark of the Moon in Chicago in the very excited way that ET visits things. Star Shia LeBeouf was either playing along with the amped up enthusiasm, or he’s been dipping into the booger sugar between takes. I realize he’s a passionate guy and all, but something feels a little…twitchy about his demeanor.

ET also interviews newbie female lead Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who at least to me, doesn’t seem to have the same "Damn, who is that hot-ass girl?!" appeal as Megan Fox. Spielberg liked her though, so what the hell do I know. I’m sure she’s a better actor than Fox. Shit, Michael Bay’s a better actor than Fox. And speaking of Michael Bay, ET gets him on record saying James Cameron shot Avatar like a little bitch. He doesn’t use those exact words, but it’s pretty obvious he poo-poos green screen.

Go behind the scenes after the jump…

Michael Bay and James Cameron: Two directors who don’t take any sh*t, with comparatively different results. Bay’s actually kind of bowing to Cameron by shooting Transformers 3 in 3D. He’d always said he thought it was just a gimmick. So now he’s got to be nice to 3D camera inventor Vincent Pace.

“We’re doing Transformers with Michael Bay, and that’s a big challenge because he’s not the kind of director that’s going to give you break,” Pace said as he demonstrated his cameras from Avatar. “But he met it halfway and he said, ‘Look, it complements my product, and I want to incorporate this into my shooting style.’”

More after the jump…

Pace considers that winning a battle for the acceptance of 3D. “Once we win that, once they know you’re putting a better product on the screen, then you’re working as a team.”

Transformers is a little different from Avatar though. The Autobots and Decepticons are created in CGI, but placed in live-action environments. It’s not all performance capture in virtual elements. Pace said his designs will still work on CGI films.

“It’s something you do in 2D with your relationship positioning and things like that,” Pace explained. “For example, if you’re going to have a monster come over your shoulder, create some targets that do the same thing, so that it relates to being the same thing. It’s kind of the same parallel process, but you just have to get those cues in play to make it work for you.”

Learn more about Pace’s Avatar cameras on the special edition DVD coming Nov. 16.

A D.C. Police car responds to an emergency call and decides to cut across a closed Transformer 3 set to save time. The officer manages to dodge out of the way of Optimus Prime but gets sideswiped by Bumblebee and in taken to the hospital with minor injuries.

God is trying with all his might to shut down this movie. What if he’s a Decepticon? Michael Bay better say his prayers.

Click these links like good little children.

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^{"Is there anybody out there?"}

Transformers 3 officially has a title, and it officially doesn’t make any sense. Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon is the title that an adult pieced together, wrote down on a page, submitted to a major film studio, and will now be printed on billboards, T-shirts, posters, and fast food tie-ins.

Sounds like a) a clever way of side-stepping legal issues with Pink Floyd, or b) a note someone would jot down while baked out of their mind. Not sure if the baked person in question is Michael Bay or writer Ehren Kruger, but it’s something we’d expect more from Shia. He’s at that age. (Collider)

We all know that millions of young minds will be permanently damaged by Michael Bay’s Transformers 3. But usually, the causalities don’t start rolling in until after the film hits theaters. However, it seems this installment of the Transformers trilogy has already claimed its first victim.

Authorities say the "Transformers 3" crew was filming late Wednesday in the Chicago suburb of Hammond, Ind., using several vehicles and drivers. Police say something went wrong and an object went through the windshield of a car, hitting the driver. In a statement, police said the vehicle kept going for a mile before stopping. Police did not release the driver’s name. The person was airlifted to a hospital.

For the love of God, the film hasn’t even reached post production, and people are already being hospitalized. Although based on the description, this might make for one hell of a 3D experience. Even so, we wish the extra a speedy recovery, and pray for an end to the senseless cycle of violence that is the Transformers franchise. (HitFix)

Michael Bay has been laying waste to Chicago under the guise of shooting the big budget action movie sequel Transformers 3. We’ve been seeing a ton of pics and videos from the set rolling in over the past few weeks, and today is no exception. /Film put together a great collection of the latest footage and shots, and I thought I’d share some of it with you here. Warning: Sh*t gets real.

Michael Bay Dot Com In Chicago from Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.

**SPOILER ALERT** The crackpot team of Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay have done it again. They’ve come up with a beginning for their movie. All good filmmakers know a film needs a beginning, and Transformers 3 will be no exception. I don’t want to ruin it for those who didn’t lose interest in the franchise after Bay introduced racist robots, so I’ll just say upfront that it involves the moon, which we already knew. It does not, however, involve E.T., which my hilariously misleading above picture suggests. That’s photoshopped, by the way.

If you want to ruin the opening scene of Transformers 3 for yourself, check out CHUD‘s scoop after the jump…

There’s a disturbance on the Moon. A robot shaped disturbance. Scientists on Earth see this and the information gets passed up the chain of command. In the White House men in black suits are breathlessly running through the halls, and they burst into the Oval Office. The president is behind the desk, back turned to the door, looking out the window. One of the men tells the president, ‘Sir, something’s happened on the Moon!’ The president turns around.



It’s John F. Kennedy.

And then an aide scampers out from under his desk as he drops his R’s. Can we just all agree that a movie about Michael Bay as the moon would probably turn out better than any Transformers movie? The surfing scenes would be EXTREEEEEEEEEME!

_{I believe the first part.}

Michael Bay is delivering his wrath upon Chi-Town. The Chicago Tribune put together an extensive gallery of pics from the set of Transformers 3, which is currently filming around LaSalle Street in downtown Chicago. The term "Windy City" gets a whole new meaning as natural gusts are replaced with violent releases of pressure from the many explosions Bay will set off around the area. Some are for the movie, others are just for shits and giggles.

Check out video and more pics from the set after the jump… 

(Video via ComingSoon)

Michael Bay doesn’t eff with that post-conversion 3D bullsh*t. He’s bringing 3D cameras to the set of Transformers 3, and he’s bringing them hard. Looks like the director who spits on the idea of static shots has dumped his old school filmmaking ways by makin the switch from film to video. Vince Pace, Innovator of FUSION 3D and 2D digital camera systems developed with James Cameron, laid down the skinny for MarketSaw:

“Trying to lay low and do what I do best. We took delivery of the first Alexa cameras for Hugo and have 23 more on the way. Transformers has also signed on to shoot 3D throughout the film I am working on a big Disney film but can’t mention the name and are lining up five more films. Just wrapped on additional photography for Resident Evil and Tron. Currently in Hawaii and flying out to London for Hugo.”

It must be nice to be smart enough to invent new technology. I reckon someone could make quite the hefty profit owning an idea and all. Vince Pace has his digital camera systems he rents to Michael Bay and Martin Scorsese, and I have my automatic super absorbant juicer rag I rent to my slow neighbor. Splitting hairs really. (/Film)

Michael Bay is currently shooting Transformers 3 in Playa Vista, CA, and Just Jared managed to snag some pictures from the set. Let me set the scene so that you may fully understand the gravitas behind the stills. Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Tyrese Gibson are being chased by an evil Decepticon who tips over a building. Oh the subtext! The building is clearly a metaphor for the Decepticon’s abusive father. I smell an Oscar. **Places lid on trashcan stuffed with a decomposing grouch**

Check out the pics after the jump…

Michael Bay has followed in the footsteps of Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, he’s crapping on Michael Bay. In an interview with USA Today, Bay admits that Transformers 2 wasn’t that great of a film. He’s even willing to take some of the blame… sort of.

"I’ll take some of the criticism," says Bay, standing at a set built to resemble a dilapidated nuclear reactor. "It was very hard to put (the sequel) together that quickly after the writers’ strike (of 2007-08)."

Are you sure this was on set? I hear Michael Bay has a bed shaped like a dilapidated nuclear reactor.

"One thing we’re getting rid of is what I call the dorky comedy," Bay adds. So the twins, the two bumbling, slang-spewing robots? "They’re basically gone,"

Please bookmark this article for when something far worse than the Twins pratfalls its way throughout the movie. I’m hoping to build a court case modeled after The People Vs. Revenge of the Sith. At least we may have a more fascinating villian (like that matters in these films). Bay admits that the Fallen was kind of a "sh*t character," and reveals the next film will feature Shockwave as the blurry, jumble of robot that will scream his own name for zero discernible reason. He also notes:

"As a trilogy, it really ends," he says. "It could be rebooted again, but I think it has a really killer ending."

Sure. We’ve all heard that before.

_{Democracy in action.}

Michael Bay has gotten it in his head to blow a whole bunch of crap up in our nation’s capitol for his little movie film Transformers 3. Washington D.C. loves that Bay is bringing money to the city by shooting on location there, but it’s not such big fan of his plans to stage a "car race" along the National Mall’s gravel paths and flood it with artificial light in order to shoot at night, and using simulated explosions and pyrotechnics at locations along Pennsylvania and Independence avenues. When President Obama heard the news he said, and I quote, "F*ck that sh*t. I need to sleep." 

Bay, however, doesn’t subscribe to "laws" or "cease and desist" orders. He plans on shooting in D.C. until the National Guard drags him out bicycle-kicking and screaming. A studio spokesperson told The Washington Post, "We’ve gone from two weeks to 10 days to three days to seven days." They’re working closely with Bay to further his understanding of time and the long hand on a watch. So far they’ve gotten to boom o’clock. (FilmSchoolRejects)

Much to the delight of teenage boys everywhere, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was named as Megan Fox’s replacement for Transformers 3. And to commemorate Rosie’s new job, her former employer, Victoria’s Secret, has put out this video featuring the lingerie model’s greatest hits.

After all, what better way to celebrate her impending objectification at the hands of Michael Bay than with an objectifying underwear ad/spank film? And based on her performance in the ad, I’m smelling Oscar! Wait, no. That’s smegma.

See Rosie Huntington-Whiteley‘s acting talent on display after the jump.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Transformers 3 Congrats Video – Watch more Funny Videos

(First Showing)

No one tell her the role’s already been filled. She’s got a gun and can only land a hit at close range, for God’s sake. (Movieline)

These links make a fine shield.

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^{This is what happens when you complain.}

Last week we pondered whether Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria’s Secret model with zero acting credibility, would be selected to fill the Megan Fox-shaped hole in all of our Transformers 3 hearts. Today we have the answer: duh.

Pending negotiations, Rosie will fill the role of semi-nude girl tinkering with a motor, and star opposite Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. If she opts in, Rosie will be having her leg humped by either a miniature Decepticon or Shia LaBeouf within the next few weeks. (Deadline)

Meet Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She’s a lithe Victoria’s Secret model, and rumors are she might be the replacement for Megan Fox in Transformers 3. Michael Bay no doubt met her while adding unnecessary explosions to the spots he directs for the lingerie brand. No telling yet if Rosie can act, but she forms a convincing fist in the above pic, and it’s not like acting is a crucial requirement on Bay sets. Breasts. Now those are mandatory.

Who would your choice be? Besides Diora Baird, you guys. I’d give you more pics of Rosie so you can make an informed decision, but you’ve already Googled her and aren’t even reading this. (Latino Review via GeekWeek)

This is what happens when you compare Michael Bay to Hitler. He fires your ass like a ruthless dictator. Deadline has learned that Paramount won’t be picking up Megan Fox’s option for Transformers 3 after Michael Bay said, and I’m paraphrasing, "F that B!"

Right now the director who rules with an iron fist is finishing up the Transformers 3 script with writer Ehren Kruger, and they feel "giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story." Right, because it’s ridiculous that a nerd such as Sam Witwicky would stand by the same insanely hot girl for all these years. Making everyone you will ever meet and know jealous is totally overrated. 

Michael Bay has confirmed on his message board that The Twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Revenge of the Fallen will not be perpetuating racial stereotypes in Transformers 3. In Hollywood that’s what we call getting Jar Jar Binx’ed. It’s Bay’s goal to make the next Transformers installment relatively inoffensive, but take this with a grain of salt as Tyrese and Josh Duhamel still have scenes opposite one another. 

There’s no telling what’s next for The Twins. They’ve got all the right skillz for a dance flick or a rap career, they just need someone to take a chance on them. My instincts say they’ll be relegated to the scrap pile though like so many other influential characters of the past.

I’m still eagerly awaiting the next Max Headroom project that I fear may never come. (IESB)

I’m only writing about this because I REALLY wanted to put together the above photoshop. Patrick Dempsey and Jamie Kennedy are maybe going to be a part of Transformers 3. Random much? Michael Bay must just be shouting out the names of people he sees on TV now. I’m sure Can’t Buy Me Love and Scream were playing back-to-back on some network this past weekend.

Depending on where you translate the interview that Dempsey gave to Brazilian website BOH it either says:

“I start filming later this month in “Transformers 3″, which I play a character who is far more “dark” than others.”

or:

"Chicken patty sandwich."

Don’t ask me, I don’t speak Portuguese.

Jamie Kennedy told 8KUPD Arizona (he got interviewed by a license plate?) that he “had an interesting interview with the people behind the new Transformers movie and I may have a role in the movie.”

More Transformers 3 casting news to come, but I really don’t see it getting anymore exciting than this, people. (/Film)

Though his Spiderman 4 role never became a reality, it looks like John Malkovich won’t be missing out on a blockbuster payday. Deadline reports that Oscar nominee and Oscar winner Frances McDormand will slum it for Michael Bay in Transformers 3. I guess Malkovich wants something worse than Con-Air on his resume. Malkovich will play LaBeouf’s first boss while McDormand will play the National Intelligence Director.

Ken Jeong of The Hangover and Community is also joining the cast. This news worries me given Bay’s penchant for representing ethnic characters as racial stereotypes. Here’s hoping he doesn’t go the angry, yelling Korean guy route. If so, he could have saved some money by hiring Dat Phan. 

^{"Which one of you wants to be a star?!!!"}

Have you ever wanted to see the filming of a major motion picture firsthand? Would you like a grown man to scream swears and insults at you through a megaphone?? Do you like box lunches??? Then today could very well be your lucky day.

Dreamworks is looking for background talent in the Los Angeles area for Transformers 3 and they’re doing so through Craigslist. And before you knock the legitimacy of the posting, I’ll have you know that Craigslist is great. It’s how I found my apartment and my trademark cold sores.

The ad doesn’t mention which day or days shooting will take place but it does pay $200. Applicants will be selected on a breast-by-breast basis. Check out the ad HERE. (via Collider)