And why wouldn’t you believe a red-band trailer?

The film comes from South Korean director Kim Ji-woon, who scared the bejesus out of us with I Saw the Devil, so those who are quick to dismiss this film as mindless action might want to take in a screening of that before being so quick to judge.

But before you go to your local video store (HA!), check out the trailer for The Last Stand.

But, it’s about a guy breaking into a sperm bank to steal back his own sperm, so I still recommend watching it. Also, the movie stars Olivia Munn, Paul Schneider, Aisha Tyler, and a regrettably-trailer-absent Wood Harris of The Wire, so check it out if you are into one or more of those people.

As if that weren’t enough, this trailer also has Olivia Thirlby, famous for playing sweet smartasses in stuff like Juno and The Wackness doing what can be called for lack of a better term “kicking ass.” The lesson is clear: Don’t watch the trailer for Dredd if you’re not prepared to have all of your preconceived notions rocked to their cores. Or if you don’t like guns.

So just watch it, alright? I watched it, your 13-year-old niece watched it (49 times and counting), your weird coworkers are watching it right now. You don’t want to be left out, do you? There is a cultural conversation about vampires and werewolves and possibly-vampric-babies happening and you’re going to miss all of it if you DON’T WATCH THIS TRAILER RIGHT NOW!!!

Michael Bay’s Transformers is one of the most lucrative film franchises of all time. It’s also one of the most idiotic. Don’t get me wrong; hot chicks and robots are a great combo. But I’m not sure it’s worth sitting through two-and-a-half hours of product placement and Shia LaBeouf.

Don’t take my word for it. Let this Honest Trailer speak for itself.

In case you were wondering exactly how the characters from The Avengers were all assembled so as not to look like a superhero version of the Miami Heat, here’s your answer. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) assembled a team of elite superheroes (Is there any other kind?) to tackle the type of costumed ne’er-do-wells that could only populate a Marvel universe.

While I’m sure the origin story of The Avengers is somewhat carefully crafted, it’s pretty hard to get past seeing Captain America next to Thor next to Iron Man. It looks like a parody of itself, but that probably won’t stop it from being fun.

“He’s Treadstone without the inconsistency.”

“He’s an Outcome agent.”

“We’ve never seen evaluations like this.”

Thanks, trailer, but that doesn’t really answer my question.

This preview of the fourth Bourne film, the first without star Matt Damon, shows us Jeremy Renner getting indoctrinated as an agent, under the tutelage and supervision of the added Edward Norton, but it’s unclear from this clip exactly what the connection is between him, Treadstone, and Jason Bourne.

Oh well. I’m sure it will be explained, as Bourne has proven pretty methodical with its plodding.

On the other hand, he jumps on a tree in the snow, and that’s pretty darn neat.

Farrell created the movie trailer.

In a world where movies started on time, and future projects were woefully under-marketed…One man would stop at nothing to advertise upcoming films before the feature presentation. 

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like trailers. Try to find another invention that NO ONE dislikes. This guy managed to create a form of advertising that people pay to watch and hate to miss.

Farrell worked for, then ran, the National Research Group, Hollywood’s biggest marketing consultancy. Not only did he come up with the notion of showing movie teasers before features, but he also introduced such industry staples as tracking and test screenings. Did you ever wonder how you can read about a film’s weekend box office take on a Saturday afternoon? That’s tracking, and Joseph Farrell innovated and utilized it before anyone else did.

Recently, Farrell got into production with a first-look deal at Disney, but his real legacy will be what he did on the marketing side of things. He helped shape the practices of the entire entertainment industry. And that’s pretty cool.

What kind of sick stuff? Oh nothing really, just disgusting things like JEFF GOLDBLUM and ROBERT LOGGIA! Forehead dildos, and JOHN C. REILLY! Can your stomach take it?

I have to cram this piece with as many jokes and one-offs as possible in the hopes of weaseling out of establishing a narrative based on this trailer, a feat that is downright daunting. If someone would like to take a stab at explaining this film in the comments, that would be pretty cool.

In the meantime, let the weirdness and profanity wash over you in a soothing wave, with the knowledge that, soon, the weekend will be here.

But then I saw this trailer and changed my mind. From producer Todd Phillips and rookie director Nima Nourizade comes this film about high school kid who throws a house party that gets a little out of hand. But not in a Dazed and Confused way, or even a Risky Business way or even a Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead way. Ahh, the high price of high school popularity.

Nope. This kid somehow managed to sneak Electric Daisy Carnival into his parents house. It’s being discussed as a comedy, but I really don’t get any humor coming through this trailer. Rather, it feels like a slow-motion trainwreck.

The fact that the thing opens up with a video message to his parents reads rather ominously.

“Mom, Dad – if you’re watching this video, then that means I died of either alochol poisoning or spinal injuries sustained while motorboating some skank. Tell Patches that I love him.”

Project X doesn’t hit theaters till March 2, so we’ll have plenty of time to see what the deal is, but right now, just watch the film and be glad you’re not this kid.

ParaNorman is scheduled for an August, 2012 release, so expect lots more information to come between now and then. Below you can also see a (kind of bland) poster for the movie. (The Playlist)

The biggest news from this trailer would be that we get a look at Walter, the newest member of the gang. Where do new Muppets come from? Bulgaria? Burning Man? It’s not addressed in the trailer, but I’m guessing we’ll find out.

However, when the parade of guest stars was announced, it was easy to be a little skeptical of Disney’s intentions. Was this film going to actually have something to say, or would it simply be a crass remake appealing to the lowest common denominator?

From the trailer, it appears to be the former, more or less. Sure, the involvement of NPH and Jack Black doesn’t exactly scream “integrity,” but there premise seems cute and likable, much like the fuzzy character themselves. Sure, there are some chickens doing a musical rendition of C. Lo’s “Fuck Forget You,” but beyond that, it maintains a timeless quality that its predecessors had.

Also worth noting is a late appearance by Chris Cooper, who we at Screen Junkies desperately hope is reprising his role as the closeted disciplinarian from American Beauty.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It In 'Melancholia' Trailer

Even more than the last trailer, this one shows the movie’s gorgeous cinematography and allows you to see a little more of the celestial action in the movie, about a second planet (named “Melancholia“) crashing into our planet (named “Earth“). It also begins with the inspiring words “we are alone, there is only life on Earth.” A happy thought to kick off your long weekend with!

There’s really not much to discuss here, as the trailer consists of a full-fledged visual assault (which will undoubtedly be exacerbated by the fact that it’s in 3D).

If you’re on the fence, I guess the only thing that I can share with you to help you make up your mind is when Neil Patrick Harris tells a girl who thought he was gay,”I am gay. Gay for that pussy.”

I know what my pickup line is for the rest of the fiscal year.

The 'Contagion' Trailer Will Kills Us All!

I think these both look great, and I’m excited to see Soderbergh take on such an established genre. And it’ll almost definitely be better than Outbreak.

The trailer does an abrupt heel-turn, going from slapstick to Friday Night Lights-style inspiration. So when you watch this trailer, start by giggling incessantly, but by the end, you’ll have a thousand-yard stare and a solitary tear running down your face. At least I did.

In fact, this one dials up the brainless action even more, with phrases like “The hunter become the hunted” and “May the best man live.” Awesome. And of course, the latter half of the trailer is still set to Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane,” so don’t go strutting around thinking this film will rock you like anything less than a hurricane, cause that’s just not gonna happen.

Oh yeah, the plot: It would appear (after like five viewings) that Jason Statham is tight with Robert De Niro, who will be killed by Clive Owen unless Jason Statham does something that involves shooting lots of guns and kicking people. The rest is incidental. Oh, there’s also a girl, but it’s not clear how she comes into play. Please note the girl is hot, which is good, because that really could have gone either way.

Hollywood’s A-list seemed to also agree that the story was from over with the first one, so Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Elijah Wood, Brad Pitt, and Hank Azaria are all lending their voices to this victory lap. I’m not sure how to tell all the penguins apart, though. Maybe they should wear little hats or something?

Because it’s a film about dancing penguins, those black-and-white birds are going to need a soundtrack full of “hot jams” both old and new, and fortunately, they get what they need in the form of penguinified versions of “Mama Said Knock You Out” and “SexyBack,” so let the receptionist at your office know that this will be a delightful film to take her niece to.

7 photosMila Kunis

The trailer poses a lot of thought-provoking questions like “is it fair for some people to have lots of money while other people starve in the streets,” along with some ass-kicking and gunplay. Oh, and Pete Campbell from Mad Men is in it. Sold!

See A Romantic New Clip From 'Drive'

This trailer, fortunately, has done nothing to make my level of anticipation decrease. There are some cool automotive stunts, and glimpses at the aforementioned stars, along with Christina Hendricks, Bryan Cranston, and Ron Perlman. I can’t wait to drive (my Segway) to my local theater to watch Drive!

The film boasts Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Lucy Punch, Leslie Bibb, Lindsay Sloane, Tyler Labine, Lake Bell and Nick Kroll as its principals. And while I can’t say I’m eager to see all of them naked, it’s a pretty crack squad of comedic actors, so let’s bust out the KY and just ask questions later.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy opens September 2nd.

6 photosMary Elizabeth Winstead

Side note: why must all horror trailers end with a character holding his or her breath, hoping that a creature/killer doesn’t strike from around the corner, and then a creature/killer strikes from around the corner?

That’s what you get from this 40-second clip. If you think you’re going to get an airdate, you’re wrong. Dead wrong. Sorry, that was overly dramatic, but all you get from this is a “Coming Soon.” Argh.

While I wouldn’t read into the stylistic devices used in this trailer too much, it’s a pretty cool-looking bullet-time video that is a departure from the very matter-of-fact style.

Ok. I’ve wrung about as much as I can out of this clip. Watch it and get excited for the new season, coming…soon(ish).

You Can’t Escape The Trailer For ‘Final Destination 5′

Beyond that, it appears to be more of the same: kids on the run from death which stalks them in creative and gruesome ways. What’s not to like? I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you were the type of person that enjoys eyes being melted by lasers, you might want to stick around till the end of the trailer. Maybe.

‘Apollo 18′ Trailer Is Go For Launch

Nothing. Nothing would be worse than the thing I just described.

Well, Apollo 18 posits exactly that, conveying the struggle on the American astronauts using that oh-so-popular found footage technique. There isn’t a lot to glean from the theatrical trailer, other than something else is out there, and it doesn’t seem to be making their trip more pleasurable.

Moon monsters: Can’t live with ‘em, can’t acknowledge their existence for fear of government reprisal.

New Teaser For ‘The Muppets’ Tries To Put One Over On You Again

Anyway, the trailer looks pretty funny, if you’re into Muppets and everything. What I happen to like the most is that they kept most if not all of the movie’s copious celebrity cameos out of the trailer, leaving them as a fun surprise for people who go to see the movie. Whoa, that takes me back.

Whereas the first domestic trailer showed a more cold and clinical side to the apes’ upbringing, for international audiences, this video seems to channel its inner Harry and the Hendersons, even going so far as to cast John Lithgow as a loving father. There’s a fine line between “homage” and “rip-off,” and you’re walkin’ it, Apes.

This trailer also shows us that Draco Malf-, I mean, Tom Felton, can be completely menacing without his greasy blonde hair. So long as he’s shown electrocuting a cute monkey.

Beyond that, you won’t glean much any new plot elements, but if you’re looking for tons of plot elements in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you might be on a fool’s errand.