Eddie Murphy won’t be hosting the Oscars.

In a statement released by the AMPAS, Eddie Murphy has walked away from his hosting detail. Rather than sum it up for you, here’s the short release in its entirety:

Beverly Hills, CA – Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President Tom Sherak announced that Eddie Murphy has withdrawn as host of the 84th Academy Awards. “I appreciate how Eddie feels about losing his creative partner, Brett Ratner, and we all wish him well,” said Sherak.

Commented Murphy, “First and foremost I want to say that I completely understand and support each party’s decision with regard to a change of producers for this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. I was truly looking forward to being a part of the show that our production team and writers were just starting to develop, but I’m sure that the new production team and host will do an equally great job.”

Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2011 will be presented on Sunday, February 26, 2012, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center®, and televised live by the ABC Television Network. The Oscar® presentation also will be televised live in more than 200 countries worldwide.

I respect Eddie’s allegiance to Ratner, who was instrumental in this whole “comeback” movement (Tower Heist, hand-picking Murphy to host the Oscars, etc.). But walking away from the high-profile gig seems more than a little misguided. It’s not like Ratner was unfairly driven out. He said some stupid shit and was politely shown the door. Eddie didn’t do anything wrong, so why should he leave?

Well, the hunt is on for a new Oscar host. Maybe we’ll be treated to the 3,141st partnership of Billy Crystal and Bruce Vilanch. Yay Oscars!

GASP!

Sure, his throwaway comment will undoubtedly ruffle some feathers in the LGBT communities, but Ratner using a homophobic slur to disparage something really isn’t news. (It would be news if he didn’t, actually.) The bigger story is that we have figured out a factor in why Ratner’s films are not very good ever.

Based on his comment, I’ve compiled a list of other things that Brett Ratner probably thinks are for fags, pussies, and possibly retards:

• Compelling scripts
• Not casting Chris Tucker
• Antiperspirant for your face
• Treating the homosexual community with dignity and respect
• Thoughtful pacing and direction of films
• Not driving a Lamborghini through South Beach at 2 AM huntin’ for sluts
• Stanley Kubrick’s entire catalogue

The project is not Beverly Hills Cop 4, as Murphy has said recently that he’s not interested in tacking on another sequel to the seminal action-comedy. However, that hasn’t stopped Brett Ratner from telling everyone that he would love to direct the imaginary film.

Tower Heist scored $25 million this weekend and opened to tepid reviews, despite praise for an Eddie Murphy performance that harkens back to the comic actor‘s golden years in the mid-late 80′s.

For better or worse, Murphy and Ratner have developed something of a partnership, as Ratner is directing the Oscars, with Murphy signed on to host, and Murphy will be a voice in Ratner’s upcoming animated Honk Kong Phooey film.

With all these projects in the pipeline, it’s pretty easy to not be excited about a fourth teaming of the two, but let’s smile anyway and let them enjoy this moment.

“That’s terrific guys!”

(The Wrap)

If anyone has seen it, please let us know what you thought. Is it actually good, or merely something designed to hold a mouthbreather’s attention for an hour and forty minutes? I’m sorry. I just can’t help my prejudices. I’m was totally expecting a terrible heist movie, like the nine listed below.

Fast Five

In a departure from the street racing theme of the previous installments, Fast Five turns Vin Diesel and Paul Walker into master thieves. They band together with every tough guy, hot chick, and rapper to have previously driven a fast car in order to steal $100 million from a corrupt businessman. Really? Exactly $100 million. Are they robbing Dr. Evil?

The Perfect Score

Six failing students team up to secure their futures by stealing the SAT exam. All in all, it’s a pretty lazy comedy that puts too many of its gags on the shoulders of an unlikable version of a Hollywood interpretation of a stoned teenager. However, it does feature a pre-Avengers Scarlett Johannson in a leather bodysuit kicking guards in the face. This movie can see the future.

Stealing Harvard

Jason Lee and Tom Green star as hapless crooks attempting to steal enough money for a young girl’s college tuition. Subplots involve cross-dressing and a dog falling in love with Green before having its way with him. That guy and his stunts.

And to be clear, we’re not just kicking a man when he’s down. Check out 9 Reasons Eddie Murphy Is A Comic Genius.

Another 48 Hours

Walter Hill‘s 48 Hours is an action comedy classic. It’s surprisingly violent for the genre, and it features a “star is born” performance from Eddie Murphy, only a couple years before he took over the world with Beverly Hills Cop. This 1990 follow up had the same director and stars, but none of the urgency or hunger. The film winds up feeling as lazy as its title, with the same bits redone over and over. The ending is kind of fun, but this movie is the beginning of a long decline for Eddie.

The Haunted Mansion

In the summer of 2003, Disney had a surprise smash hit with a film adaptation of one of their famous theme park rides, Pirates of the Caribbean. They must of been super excited knowing they had this comedy take on another of their classic rides waiting in the wings for the fall. And then The Haunted Mansion opened and fell like a rock. The Pirates franchise spawned three hit sequels, with more on the way. The Haunted Mansion continues to be a popular ride at Disney World, and the DVD of the film is a staple of discount bins everywhere.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Unlike most people, I have actually watched Pluto Nash. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, it was on cable, and I thought, “How bad can it be?” The sad truth is: It’s not the worst movie ever. It just isn’t remarkable or fun. Bad movies are normally a dime a dozen, except that Pluto Nash cost $110 Million, and it made back about 7 million. This turd put a stink on Eddie’s career he’s still rinsing off.

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck

Synopsis: When a group of hard working guys find out they’ve fallen victim to a wealthy business man’s Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence.

Release Date: November 4, 2011

Movies like New Year’s Eve should take note. THIS is how you make a comedy with an ensemble cast. You use likable actors like Matthew Broderick. That way, audiences are happy and the Broderick-Parker children are still fed. Everyone wins!!

Treat yourself to the first look at a still from Brett Ratner‘s upcoming Tower Heist, an ensemble comedy that can best be described as a dorkier Ocean’s Eleven. Aside from the pictured Ben Stiller, Michael Pena, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, and Eddie Murphy, the film boasts Alan Alda, Téa Leoni, Gabourey Sidibe, and Judd Hirsch. The film follows a group of people that all have been swindled by a Madoff-like Alan Alda. This film could either become more than the sum of its parts or a complete trainwreck, and having Ratner at the helm doesn’t provide a lot more certainty. The good news is that Stiller appears to be playing a regular person, and not someone who is either borderline retarded or absurdly evil. But appearances can be deceiving. Audiences will find out November 4th when Tower Heist hits theaters.

While Tower Heist in up in the air, the gang behind The Hangover 2 has a solid pedigree, both critically and financially, making success theirs to lose. Here’s a still from the film, demonstrating that, yes, they are actually in Thailand. They’re sweaty and there’s a monkey. See? Thailand. Zach Galifiankis is looking a little more like a white supremacist than anything else with that shaved head, but other than that, Bradley Cooper is still the sexy one, Ed Helms still looks overwhelmed, and the baby is now a monkey. Yeah, this will make $200 million. (Playlist)

Tower Heist keeps inching closer to becoming a movie by picking up talent left and right. Matthew Broderick is now on board to play a Wall Street suit who joins Ben Stiller in the plot to get revenge against Alan Alda’s Madoff-like character. Fake documentarian Casey Affleck is also joining up as Stiller’s best friend/voice of reason. He’ll help complicate the would-be robbery when he takes a firm stance against it. Judd Hirsch will play an unspecified role in the film. Let’s just assume he’ll play an old school New Yorker. Or a cop. Or a guy who looks like a Cookie Puss ice cream cake.

The resemblance is quite haunting. (via /Film)

^{He can’t resist a photo op.}

The 1st Assistant Camera on Brett Ratner‘s The Tower Heist had better not forget to put a long lens on the order. Precious star Gabourey Sidibe has picked up at unknown role on the film, as has "Eastbound and Down’s" very funny Michael Pena.

They’ll join Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy in the film that pits the little guy against a crooked Bernie Madoff type played by Alan Alda. Other than that, we don’t have a lot of details. But now we know that the heist most likely won’t involve taking the stairs. And before you chastise me in the comments section for making a fat joke at Sidibe’s expense, you should know it was a lazy joke at Pena’s expense. And no, not because he’s Mexican. Man, I can’t win with you guys. (Deadline)

^{From that time all these guys were in Paris together.}

Trying to break up his stint of accepting bad movie roles, Eddie Murphy has decided to appear in a bad movie role that won’t require a fat suit. Not to be worn by him at least. Murphy will be joining Ben Stiller in Brett Ratner‘s Tower Heist.

This the second time that Murphy was attached to this film. He was the initial star years ago while it was in development. He passed, then Chris Rock passed, and then Chris Tucker passed. Then Ben Stiller (the next logical choice) took over the role. No word yet on which supporting character Murphy will play, but I’ve got a good feeling that Ben Stiller will learn the consequences of touching his radio. (EW)

After letting Tower Heist sit on the shelf for almost four years, Universal has given it the green light with Ben Stiller starring, Brett Ratner directing, and Imagine’s Brian Grazer producing. Because if anyone can make a project work that hasn’t been working, it’s the mastermind behind X-Men 3. Deadline has the deets:

Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.

Bumbling, inept idiots try to pull off a major heist. Have we not seen this concept countless times already? And not that I have anything against Stiller, but I don’t understand why he’d want to play this type of character again. He’s already been a bumbling security guard twice in the Night at the Museum movies, and a bumbling (insert occupation) in almost everything else. Now he’s relying on Ratner to save a stale concept. Unless that concept is a cupcake, I’m not seeing him succeeding.