7 Movie Vacations That Went Horribly Wrong
Wednesday, July 10 by Stu Moody

Zombieland" Just because the zombie apocalypse has finally struck doesn't mean a girl and her sister can't trek cross-country to visit an amusement park. The park was supposed to be…

I do recall...
7 Sci-Fi Remakes With Vastly Improved Special Effects
Tuesday, December 4 by

In honor of ‘Total Recall’ on Blu-ray and DVD 12/18!

5 Movie Arguments Every Couple Has Actually Had
Thursday, August 30 by Lee Keeler

Movies are meant to be a form of escape, but nothing ruins a date night like watching a scene that's a stinging reminder of a true-to-life tiff with the partner…

6 Mars Movies That Show Life On The Red Planet
Friday, July 13 by Joseph Gibson

The question of whether or not there is life on the planet Mars has been answered definitively for generations now. But that doesn't stop the more imaginative among us from…

Hey, gorgeous.
The 7 Skankiest Hookers In Film and Television
Thursday, April 26 by

Not too skanky for the Secret Service, though.

"Nyarrrg!"
Audio Fun Time: Arnold Schwarzenegger Edition
Thursday, March 29 by

“Nyyarrg!”

toyota-recallCROP
Because We’re Idiots: Total Toyota Recall
Thursday, March 8 by

Far too much time on our hands.

Retreat
The 5 Most Memorable Movie Mindf*cks
Tuesday, February 14 by

Yeah, Oldboy is on the list.

'Cash Cab'
Caption This Pic And Win The ‘Cash Cab’ Giveaway
Friday, January 27 by

Do it, damn it! It’s free.

Mutant!!!!!!
In Honor Of Double-Vagina-ed Hazel, Here Are Our 7 Favorite Film Mutants
Friday, January 20 by

A mutation is defined as a genetic change or abnormality that makes a person really gross.

Pictured: A terrifying alien hooker.
Nerd Alert: An Alien-Themed Whorehouse Is Opening In Nevada
Wednesday, December 28 by

By clicking on this article, you are admitting you have alien-whore fantasies.

5 Movie Happy Endings That Are Not Really Happy At All
Tuesday, December 27 by Joseph Gibson
This is how you'll feel when you listen to the commentary.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Movie Commentary Is Way More Entertaining Than His Movies
Monday, November 21 by

He explains ‘Total Recall’ for you, in case you have trouble following Arnold Schwarzenegger films.

total_recall_colin-farrell
Comic-Con 2011: Len Wiseman Talks ‘Underworld: Awakening’ And His New Take On ‘Total Recall’
Sunday, July 24 by

‘Total Recall’ is still going to be awesome, but in a different way.

Robot
‘Total Recall’ And ‘Superman’ Pics Give Us Peeks Into A Futuristic World And A Smashed Truck, Respectively
Wednesday, July 13 by

Geez, let the robot pee, for Pete’s sake.

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Comic-Con 2011: Friday Schedule
Friday, July 8 by

It’s worth the trip to get your first look at ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ and ‘The Walking Dead’ season two.

John-Cho-7
John Cho Will Remember It For Colin Farrell Wholesale
Thursday, May 26 by

We still don’t know who will start the reactor.

Beckinsale, Biel and Bill Nighy
Official Bidness: Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel And Bill Nighy Join ‘Total Recall’
Wednesday, May 25 by

One of these actors will play Quatto. Is it… Jessica Biel?

Ethan Hawke holding a human baby
Ethan Hawke To Make 3-Boobed ‘Total Recall’ Cameo?
Tuesday, May 10 by

Ethan Hawke, start the reactor.

Screen shot 2011-04-08 at 4.21.47 PM
Jessica Biel To Prove The Existence Of Martian Erections In ‘Total Recall’
Friday, April 8 by

I’m hoping she was cast as the lady with three breasts.

bryan-cranston
Bryan Cranston In Talks To Torment Colin Farrell In ‘Total Recall’ Remake
Wednesday, March 30 by

If you heard this news in 2003, you’d be all like “yyyeah RIGHT!”

MIDGET_HOOKER
Ladies Lined Up Around The Block To Be In ‘Total Recall’ Remake
Tuesday, March 22 by

So many females, so little parts.

Colin Farrell Is Favorite for ‘Total Recall’ Lead
Thursday, October 21 by

Total Recall may have found its man to demand that Cohaagen give these people some air. THR's Heat Vision Blog is reporting that Colin Farrell is at the top of the list to lead Len Wiseman's remake of the Arnold Schwarzeneggar classic. Classic? Classic. Inception star Tom Hardy, who will hopefully be Mad Max sometime in the future, and Inglourious Basterds star Michael Fassbender are also being considered.
I understand the importance in securing a Quaid for the film, but it's really the secondary characters that I feel the producers should be most concerned with. In the original Total Recall, Kuato was an animatronic stomach person, but the world has discovered Verne Troyer since then. And let's not forget about the three-boobed prostitute. Ashley Judd could use the one day of work.

Len Wiseman In Talks To Direct ‘Total Recall’ Remake
Thursday, July 29 by

"I get no respect. No respect."
Columbia Pictures is in final negotiations with Len Wiseman to have him direct a new version of Total Recall. The original Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster was based on a Philip K. Dick and introduced mainstream audiences to the notion of triple-breasted women, a spectacle you would normally need to travel to the Soviet Union to see.
Len Wiseman handles action really well as evidenced by Bruce Willis surfing on a jet in Live Free Or Die Hard, and high-octane pilot for the new "Hawaii Five-O". His contributions to Dick's story should be visually thrilling if nothing else. From Wiseman:
“I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”
Pfft. Whatever, hippie. Just tell us when Kate Beckinsale will put on a third breast and Gerard Butler gets his ass to Mars.
Check out the full press release after the jump…

Total Recall: The Musical
Tuesday, May 11 by

Quaid's woes are set to music in this rendition of Total Recall that surprisingly makes the film less weird. Though I can't imagine Paul Verhoeven being okay with this version. There aren't a pair of bare breasts in sight. (JonandAl)Cohaagen, give these people some links!Star Summer Comebacks (Moviefone)Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)Six-Grade Gaga-Bieber Hybrid (PopEater)25 Sexy Hockey Fans (HolyTaco)Seacrest Wannabe Caught Plagiarizing (FilmDrunk)The Healing Power of Coke and Soft Pretzels (Unreality)15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports)6 Best and Worst Captains of All Time (Maxim)The Reem? (CagePotato)Lady Gaga Shows Off His Lady Bits (CelebJihad)25 Items Made of Legos (Smosh)5 Best Robert Downey Jr. Roles (Pajiba)Pube Rap (Atom)Drambuie Pursuit Scottish Adventure Race (MadeMan)NASCAR Hall of Fame Open for Business (AllLeftTurns)How You Feel After Fapping (RegretfulMorning)