In honor of ‘Total Recall’ on Blu-ray and DVD 12/18!
Movies are meant to be a form of escape, but nothing ruins a date night like watching a scene that's a stinging reminder of a true-to-life tiff with the partner…
The question of whether or not there is life on the planet Mars has been answered definitively for generations now. But that doesn't stop the more imaginative among us from…
Not too skanky for the Secret Service, though.
Far too much time on our hands.
Yeah, Oldboy is on the list.
Do it, damn it! It’s free.
A mutation is defined as a genetic change or abnormality that makes a person really gross.
By clicking on this article, you are admitting you have alien-whore fantasies.
He explains ‘Total Recall’ for you, in case you have trouble following Arnold Schwarzenegger films.
‘Total Recall’ is still going to be awesome, but in a different way.
Geez, let the robot pee, for Pete’s sake.
It’s worth the trip to get your first look at ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ and ‘The Walking Dead’ season two.
We still don’t know who will start the reactor.
One of these actors will play Quatto. Is it… Jessica Biel?
Ethan Hawke, start the reactor.
I’m hoping she was cast as the lady with three breasts.
If you heard this news in 2003, you’d be all like “yyyeah RIGHT!”
So many females, so little parts.
Total Recall may have found its man to demand that Cohaagen give these people some air. THR's Heat Vision Blog is reporting that Colin Farrell is at the top of the list to lead Len Wiseman's remake of the Arnold Schwarzeneggar classic. Classic? Classic. Inception star Tom Hardy, who will hopefully be Mad Max sometime in the future, and Inglourious Basterds star Michael Fassbender are also being considered.
I understand the importance in securing a Quaid for the film, but it's really the secondary characters that I feel the producers should be most concerned with. In the original Total Recall, Kuato was an animatronic stomach person, but the world has discovered Verne Troyer since then. And let's not forget about the three-boobed prostitute. Ashley Judd could use the one day of work.
"I get no respect. No respect."
Columbia Pictures is in final negotiations with Len Wiseman to have him direct a new version of Total Recall. The original Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster was based on a Philip K. Dick and introduced mainstream audiences to the notion of triple-breasted women, a spectacle you would normally need to travel to the Soviet Union to see.
Len Wiseman handles action really well as evidenced by Bruce Willis surfing on a jet in Live Free Or Die Hard, and high-octane pilot for the new "Hawaii Five-O". His contributions to Dick's story should be visually thrilling if nothing else. From Wiseman:
“I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”
Pfft. Whatever, hippie. Just tell us when Kate Beckinsale will put on a third breast and Gerard Butler gets his ass to Mars.
Check out the full press release after the jump…
Quaid's woes are set to music in this rendition of Total Recall that surprisingly makes the film less weird. Though I can't imagine Paul Verhoeven being okay with this version. There aren't a pair of bare breasts in sight. (JonandAl)Cohaagen, give these people some links!Star Summer Comebacks (Moviefone)Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)Six-Grade Gaga-Bieber Hybrid (PopEater)25 Sexy Hockey Fans (HolyTaco)Seacrest Wannabe Caught Plagiarizing (FilmDrunk)The Healing Power of Coke and Soft Pretzels (Unreality)15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports)6 Best and Worst Captains of All Time (Maxim)The Reem? (CagePotato)Lady Gaga Shows Off His Lady Bits (CelebJihad)25 Items Made of Legos (Smosh)5 Best Robert Downey Jr. Roles (Pajiba)Pube Rap (Atom)Drambuie Pursuit Scottish Adventure Race (MadeMan)NASCAR Hall of Fame Open for Business (AllLeftTurns)How You Feel After Fapping (RegretfulMorning)