He’ll probably also throw a carton of milk against a wall or something typically Hollywood.

The title-less film, to be helmed by Baltasar Kormakur, will go up against another Everest film starring recent Bale nemesis (in The Dark Knight Rises, and possibly in real life?) Tom Hardy. However, Hardy’s film will follow the ascent of George Mallory, who as any reader with a rudimentary knowledge of mountaineering history would know, was not successful in making it to summit.

But that was probably just because Mallory didn’t have Bane‘s mask. And because Mallory was weak.

If both films make it to market, it will mark the second time Bale has been involved in dueling films of similar subject matter, and he can only hope that Hardy will suffer the same fate as Edward Norton did in The Illusionist.

The film, which stars Tom Hardy, Chris Pine, and Reese Witherspoon as spies or assassins or something, was originally pushed UP a month so that amorous couples could go see a mildly violent romantic action comedy after delighting in unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden (’cause when you’re there, you’re family). However, the studio has flinched in the face of The Vow, which stars Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation.

Either way is fine by me, as my girlfriend gets very turned on by women with really sharp facial features, so regardless of whether it’s McAdams or Witherspoon, I’m getting some ass come February 14th.

Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy

Synopsis: Two top CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman.

Release Date: February 14, 2012

Some thoughtful moviegoer was nice enough to film this trailer for Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises. Sadly, they filmed it using their butt. However, since this is the most highly-anticipated film this year it still looks great. Despite the assy quality of the filming.

So have a look while you can at Arkham inmates running amok, Bane ruining a day at the football stadium, and Anne Hathaway occupying Gotham. (Buzzfeed)

Christopher Nolan screened the film’s opening sequence for the press last night (my invite must have gone to spam), and the consensus is, “Huh? What??” The Hollywood Reporter recaps, “A lot of key dialogue, particularly that of Bane, who speaks via a mask, was unintelligible.”

It’s important to note that the film is still being edited and it’s likely that this is not the final version of the audio. But, I’d warn Nolan before he goes too far down the rabbit hole of attempting to fix it. Vin Diesel movies suffer from the same problem and they rake in the cash. Be true to yourself, Christopher.

Who Is Bane?

No, not these dudes.

Bane is from a fictional country in the Caribbean, Santa Prisca. He has some stupid background story about how he grew up in prison because a corrupt government made him serve out his father’s sentence. Whatever.

Anyway, supposedly his childhood spent in the joint is what makes him this extra diesel bad ass with crazy martial arts skills. While in jail, he not only learned to fight, but also became a man of letters when not hitting the iron. The Jesui Brothers taught him everything he needed to know about the fine arts and humanities, enabling him to become a career super criminal. Gee, now I’m wishing I had grown up in prison.

But it wasn’t all pumping iron and reading books. While in prison, Bane was also used as a guinea pig in an experiment with a substance called Venom, which is sadly not the totally rad black costume that takes over Spiderman. It’s a fictional steroid that makes him ginormous. The down side is, he has to have it pumped directly into his brain every 12 hours, or else he dies. It’s a trade off.

After the prison experiment makes him even tougher, he breaks out and sets out for Gotham. Why? Because he thinks that Batman has been haunting him in his dreams since childhood, which is, y’know, totally normal and stuff. When he gets to Gotham, he busts out all the wacky villains who live inside Arkham Asylum. He eventually breaks Batman’s back leading to a super lame story arc where a character named Azrael becomes Batman and gets some ill battle armor.

What Is Bane?

RAGDOLL IST KRIEG!

Bane is kind of like a monster heel from professional wrestling. For those of you unaware, monster heels are the dudes who don’t feel any pain because they aren’t human and can’t be reasoned with. Examples include The Undertaker before he became a dead biker and Brock Lesnar before he became a total joke. Much like most monster heels, after the initial shock wore off, he was relegated to being a third-tier villain in the DC Comics Universe. He is now part of the Secret Six alongside such epic winners as Catman, Rag Doll and Deadshot. I mean, come on! The dude almost killed Batman, and now he hangs out with some fool in a mask whose power is bending his arms in weird directions. Yeah, Don Didio isn’t totally killing DC or anything.

The film will take place eight years after The Dark Knight, giving us an older, weaker Batman. Did he do this to screw over the next director by making him negotiate a 50 year-old Batman? Probably not, but that would be an awesome move.

Also, for those unfamiliar with Tom Hardy‘s character, Bane, get familiar. According to Nolan:

“He’s brutal. Brutal. He’s a big dude who’s incredibly clinical, in the fact that he has a result-based and oriented fighting style. It’s not about fighting. It’s about carnage. The style is heavy-handed, heavy-footed, it’s nasty. Anything from small-joint manipulation to crushing skulls, crushing rib cages, stamping on shins and knees and necks and collarbones and snapping heads off and tearing his fists through chests, ripping out spinal columns. He’s a smashing machine. He’s a wrecking ball. If we’re going to shoot somebody, shoot the pregnant woman or the old lady first. Make sure everybody stands up. He’s a terrorist in his mentality as well as brutal actions. He’s a horrible piece of work.”

So Bane smash old Batman. I’m excited already.

Nolan’s interview also reveals that a six-minute prologue will run before IMAX versions of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

I’m no fanboy, but this is kind of exciting.

In the clips above and below, you can see Tom Hardy as Bane after he and his thugs crash a Gotham Rogues game. In the interest of not revealing too many spoilers, we won’t describe what takes place in these set videos. Watch at your own risk if you want to maintain a modicum of surprise when you see the eventual film. And, if that’s the case, might we suggest you avoid the Internet until July 20, 2012.

(via Collider)

Set during the Cold War, Gary Oldman stars as a former MI6 agent to root out a mole in the upper echelons of the agency. Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberbatch, Mark Strong,  Toby Jones, John Hurt, Stephen Graham also star. The earlier teaser focused on Cumberbatch’s character whereas this one centers more on Tom Hardy, who first learns of the double-agent and brings the information to the organization. But can he be trusted? I say just fire the whole lot of them.

5 photos'Dark Knight Rises' Pics Show Tom Hardy As Bane

What’s that? Ooooh. Alright, I’m being told that’s Christian Bale as Batman throwing ‘bows at Tom Hardy‘s Bane. And look at the epic beatdown going on between the cops and Teamsters (Bane’s crew?) outside of City Hall. If stuff like this happened more often, I’d be way more interested in local politics.

Law breaker.

The trailer picks up with Commissioner Gordon in the hospital with kidney stones. As he lay in pain, he implores that the Batman must return as his crotch is killing him and he can’t possibly fight Tom Hardy‘s Bane in that condition. Well, that was my takeaway. It’s a fool’s errand to try to decipher Nolan’s intent. (The Dark Knight Rises)

The Dark Knight Rises opens in theaters July 20th, 2012, and a teaser trailer will be released this week attached to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. In the meantime, the full poster is below. You should totally think about getting it as a back tatt.

(The Dark Knight Rises)

The English-language debut from Let The Right One In director Tomas Alfredson, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy stars Gary Oldman as a spy in the British Intelligence community trying to uproot a mole amongst its ranks. He sends British Namey Award Winner 2010 Benedict Cumberbatch to investigate five high-ranked agents to figure out which one it is. It turns into a race against time as the mole blows the cover of the best agents. And Colin Firth looks wicked guilty.

6 photosNew ‘Thor’ Character Posters Are Like Mugshots Of The Gods

“This is my Walk the Line. Instead of concerts and songs, you’re doing a daredevil guy. But it’s less about the stunts and more about an exploration of a man who let nothing stand in the way of his quest for fame and glory — including his own mortality.”

Let’s just hope Waugh doesn’t end up in a coma trying to make this thing. Or for that matter, the actor playing Knievel, who Waugh would like to be either Tom Hardy, Chris Hemsworth or Joel Edgerton. (Hollywood Reporter)

Moving right along, Focus Features has announced a release date for Swedish filmmaker Tomas Alfredson’s new film, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The cast includes a few folks bat-swiped from The Dark Knight Rises, Gary Oldman and Tom Hardy, not to mention Colin Firth and Mark Strong. The spy drama will be released November 18, 2011.

3 photosNew ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Set Photos And The Secret Of Bane’s Ooze

To the untrained viral marketeer, the website would appear to simply be a black screen with some kind of industrial chanting sound. But some enterprising individual analyzed the sound file visually, and discovered a Twitter hashtag: #thefirerises. (Pause to take a breath) When you make a tweet with that hashtag, a photo begins to reveal itself one pixel at a time – one pixel for every tweet containing the hashtag #thefirerises. Anyway, the first image has somehow been revealed in full, even though it hasn’t finished on the site yet, but you can take a look at it below, featuring Tom Hardy as Bane. And if you check out the site, you’ll notice that each pixel is made up of a person who used the hashtag’s Twitte avatar. Pretty cool campaign. (JoBlo)

Hardy and Joel Edgerton star in Warrior, a mixed martial arts film that I dare say looks good. The two play estrange brothers competing for the same championship title, and both seem to be fighting for a good cause. Edgerton is fighting to save his family and home, while Hardy’s war hero character is fighting for his country. But isn’t the real enemy here the war itself? These guys should team up to pummel Dick Cheney. Seems like the only fair outcome.

“This big-screen version will be an origin story, showing how ex-Spec Ops mercenary Bodie and counter-terrorism detective Doyle unite to work for covert UK security unit CI5.”

The studio, Lionsgate UK, is reportedly courting Tom Hardy, Gerard Butler and Jason Statham to play the secret agents, while Liam Neeson and Gary Oldman are being sought to play their boss. It’s too bad they’re not all going to be in the movie – maybe if they’re all interested they’ll have to fight each other for roles. Judging by the list of actors being talked to, this looks to be an action movie in the vein of the recent “older action” movies The Expendables and RED. So tell your parents to be on the lookout for The Professionals. (via Deadline)

At the premiere for Red Riding Hood, Gary Oldman (Commissioner Gordon) hinted at the possibility of there being another villain in Christopher Nolan‘s The Dark Knight Rises. With Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) and Bane (Tom Hardy) already confirmed, that’d be a whole lot more sinisterness in ol’ Gotham.

“If I told you who the villain was, they’d kill me,” said [Oldman] cautiously when pressed for details by E!. “I think it’s a villain from one of the old, old, from way back from the old comics … It is a Batman villian… It’s not going to be the Joker.”

You might think he was accidentally talking about Catwoman, except Oldman then discusses Hathaway later in the interview, saying she “will probably wear the cat suit pretty well.” So he must know that she’s been announced already. He. Must. Know. And that announcement went hand-in-hand with Bane.

So, Bat Detectives, who is this mystery crook the Commissioner’s alluding to? Perhaps it’s a character Joseph Gordon-Levitt will play, since he’s been cast, but his role remains a mystery. Crazy Professor Hugo Strange? He’s a little young for the role, but it’s a possibility. The Riddler? Nolan said there’d be no Riddler in this one, so that answer likely won’t solve this riddle. One hint: Nolan also said he’d like to give Bruce Wayne‘s story closure in this final installment.

Holy Cryptic Actor Statements, Batman. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. (ScreenRant)

“We will restart pre-production later this year and begin early next year—weather permitting,” Miller said acknowledging the year-long delay he and Warner Bros. had agreed on. “We’ve built the vehicles. We’ve designed the movie. The principal cast is locked in. The film is funded. It’s all ready to go. We just wait.”

This film has been in a pre-production post-apocalypse for years and years. I know everything’s in place, and that Tom Hardy (Inception) and Charlize Theron are locked in, though previously attached Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four) is now driving away from this movie on her motorcycle. Still, somehow I get the feeling this is never gonna happen, especially if rain is gonna stop them. Would rain stop Max Rockatansky from road-battling Bubba and Toecutter? (The Playlist)

Universal has just picked up Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, a film featuring Firth and Tom Hardy. Directed by Let The Right One In director Tomas Alfredson, the adaptation of the classic spy thriller centers around a British spy who must root out a mole within the highest levels of his organization. Oooo, I can sense a lot of intense Firth staring.

Both Summit and The Weinstein Company chased this one hard, but the win went to Universal. The film is currently in post and being prepped for awards season next year. So when you see Tom Hardy at next year’s Oscars with a surprising beard, you’ll know why. (Deadline)

A recent interview with actor Tom Hardy (Inception) was fairly revealing. First, we learned that his character in The Dark Knight Returns, Bane, won’t be the Luchador-wearing muscle freak we all semi-remember from Batman and Robin. Then we learned from Hardy that the entire Inception cast all signed on for a potential sequel. We heard a few months ago that director Christopher Nolan is not gonna not consider Inception 2: Enter The Dream Machine…

“It’s not something I want to say no to, but it’s not something I’ve given a lot of thought about.”

After earning $820 million worldwide, I bet someone at Warner Bros. is developing the Inception technology in real-life, so he can invade Nolan’s brain and dream-suggest he do not just one sequel, but two at once, Matrix style. Even though I was writing that last sentence as a joke, I still cringed as I typed out those words.

Oh, The Matrix. You were so promising and awesome once. Take the red pill, Mr. Nolan. Or whichever pill you take to not ruin the goodwill of the original with stupid sequels. (Screenrant)

Actor Tom Hardy, who’s portraying Bane in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Batventure, was on Alan Carr’s Chatty Man show in the UK. Sounds like the character’s going back to its comic book roots as a smart adversary to The Bat, rather than Bane’s portrayal in Batman & Robin, a film that’s shockingly hard to un-remember. When asked if he’d be donning the colorful S&M “gimp” mask…

Well, only if I feel like it. No. Again Chris Nolan will revisit that territory entirely. I wouldn’t go by that at all. Plus, that’s a lot of weight to put on and I’ve gotta start shooting in May so I’m gonna go pack up to about 13 – 14 stone [198 lbs]. I’m 12 [168 lbs] and a bit now so I’ve got 3 months to do that.

Haha, “stone.” That dude’s not American. And bulking up to 198 still probably won’t give Bane those vain-y muscle bubbles we remember so vaguely.

The less ridiculous Bane blasts into theaters July 20th, 2012 (/Film)

“No, no, not at all,” Franklin said. “We always start something like this trying to keep it as real as possible. We would only ever resort to digital doubles for some stunt moments or things like that. We try to keep them real. That’s the way Chris likes to make a film.”

But then there’s Bane, to be played by Tom Hardy. That might have to be a CGI effect like Two-Face, right? “You’d have to ask Chris. I think he has his plan but we’re at a very, very early stage on the picture at the moment. Obviously Two-Face was an example of fantastic digital prosthetic. They put tracking markers on Aaron Eckhart’s face and replaced one side of his face with CG. So that obviously had to be a digital thing but it’s based on a real performance. Aaron was delivering the lines, giving the performance.”

The parts that are visual effects will be all new. Even though they’ve done Gotham City twice now, Nolan and Franklin like to start from scratch each time. “We try to keep it different every time. There might be a few things, maybe features of Gotham City that will turn up again to give it some sort of visual continuity. Obviously we’ll try and keep some sort of thematic style with that but really, it’s a film in its own right.”

Here’s how secretive Franklin wanted to be. He wouldn’t even admit that Dark Knight Rises was his next film. “Yeah, I’m working on a new film with Chris at the moment, yes.”

So, process of elimination, try to figure out which upcoming Christopher Nolan film this applies to.

Warner Bros. Pictures announced today that Anne Hathaway has been cast as Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s follow-up to The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises. Interestingly, Catwoman is being referred to by The Hollywood Reporter as “the coveted female lead,” which I suppose means Catwoman is going to be as much a love-interest (or at least a sex-interest) as a villain.

Christopher Nolan:”I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story.”

In addition, Tom Hardy, who was previously seen in Nolan’s Inception,  is set to play Bane. Nolan again: “I am delighted to be working with Tom again and excited to watch him bring to life our new interpretation of one of Batman’s most formidable enemies.”

This sounds pretty cool, mostly because Tom Hardy is big, which is what Bane is, and Anne Hathaway is sexy, which is what Catwoman is. I’m of the opinion that the definitive screen Catwoman is Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns, but Hathaway could very well pull a Heath Ledger and make everybody forget about anyone else who ever played the character in the past (for a while at least). Certainly much better than that Cher rumor that was going around (sorry, Gay America)! As for Bane, the only time he’s been seen in a movie is Batman and Robin, which I’m pretty sure we all agree never existed. (via Superhero Hype)