Screen Junkies » TLC http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 03 Oct 2014 00:06:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 TLC Is Seriously Developing A Show Based Around A Man With An Enormous Nutsack http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlc-is-seriously-developing-a-show-based-around-a-man-with-an-enormous-nutsack/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlc-is-seriously-developing-a-show-based-around-a-man-with-an-enormous-nutsack/#comments Wed, 31 Jul 2013 21:42:33 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256225 In the name of science...

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TLC, having jettisoned the “learning” aspect of its name many moons ago, is tired of towing the line between science and carnival freakshow. With the news of this new show, TLC will be 100% freakshow all the time.

In the interest of being up front about things, TLC has named the show The Man With The 132-lb. Scrotum. Can’t say you were caught off guard when you tune into this one. The specific weight leads me to believe that the title might change from season to season along with fluctuations in the weight of star Wesley Warren’s ballbag.

For instance, in season two, maybe it would be The Man With The 111-lb. Scrotum, planting a seed of hope in the mind of the audience that, before this show is canceled, he may end up as The Man With The 6-oz. Scrotum. Or whatever a normal scrotum weighs. I’m not a doctor, but I do have a scale. However, just weighing my scrotum is a logistical nightmare. Also, do I include the balls? How do I exclude them? I’m guessing the “tare” function factors in, but I’ll be the first to admit I did not wake up with this activity in mind, and I’m a bit out of my depth.

Knowing TLC, they’ll milk this concept raw until, one day, they give the scrotum its own spin-off titled Here Comes 132-lb. Scrotum!

And I’ll watch it. Because they know me better than I know myself.

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Hot Chick Gets A Terrible Steve Buscemi Tattoo http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/hot-chick-gets-a-terrible-steve-buscemi-tattoo/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/hot-chick-gets-a-terrible-steve-buscemi-tattoo/#comments Tue, 09 Apr 2013 21:34:42 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=254315 As far as Steve Buscemi tattoos are concerned.

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Would still bang.

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Florida Couple Is Addicted To Pouring Coffee Up Their Butts http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/florida-couple-is-addicted-to-pouring-coffee-up-their-butts/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/florida-couple-is-addicted-to-pouring-coffee-up-their-butts/#comments Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:59:40 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=253475 The best part of waking up, is coffee up your butt!

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I feel torn. Everyone’s been posting the Oscars Buzz episode of Between Two Ferns and I had planned to as well. Then, I saw this video about a Florida couple addicted to coffee enemas, and… the heart wants what the heart wants. It’s far more important to me to share this than video of Jennifer Lawrence calling Zach Galifianakis fat. Though that was pretty great.

Butt-chugging always wins. It is unfortunate that the producers of this show forgot to blur out Mike and Trina’s faces.

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The Strangest Addictions From TLCs My Strange Addiction http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/the-strangest-addictions-from-tlcs-my-strange-addiction/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/the-strangest-addictions-from-tlcs-my-strange-addiction/#comments Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:00:59 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243626 Kick back, rub some styrofoam together, and enjoy these favorite moments.

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TLC‘s My Strange Addiction returns this Sunday at 10 EST/PST. The show has proven to be a treasure trove of Hey! WTF?! In its run we’ve met numerous people who put their lives at risk with their bizarre compulsions, like eating statues and showering upside down. Is it sad? Is it exploitative? Well, yes. It’s TLC. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting. In fact, one might say the show is…. addicting. But then that person would deserve to have a football hucked at their groin.

**side-steps football**
**blasted in head by potato gun**

Ow!

So kick back, relax, lick some paper clips and check out this collection of My Strange Addiction’s Strangest Addictions.

Lori Sleeps With Hair Dryer

This segment features Lori, a woman that likes to have the calming breeze of a hair dryer pointed at her at all times. Even while sleeping. This poor, poor, excessively dry woman. If only there were an invention that could help with this dependence. I’m sure she’d be a “fan” of it.

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George Stephanopoulos Finds One More Objectionable Aspect Of ‘Toddlers And Tiaras’: GO-GO JUICE! http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/george-stephanopoulos-finds-one-more-objectionable-aspect-of-toddlers-and-tiaras-go-go-juice/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/george-stephanopoulos-finds-one-more-objectionable-aspect-of-toddlers-and-tiaras-go-go-juice/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:11:04 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=244877 Reporting a story about 'Toddlers and Tiaras' is just like giving people an invitation to be angry about something.

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The past year or so has seen pretty much every camp in America save for TLC execs and stage moms outraged by the reality TV show Toddlers and Tiaras, which sheds light on the unholy aberration that is child beauty pageants.

In case some Americans out there weren’t vocally condemning the show, there’s now this hard-hitting Good Morning America examination, spearheaded by former White House Communications Director George Stephanopoulos. (Interesting career turn, George.)

In the clip, a pageant mom reveals the competitive advantage her daughter maintains over the rest of mommy’s little minions: go-go juice. For those who had loving mothers that didn’t milk your sense of self-worth for their own edification, let me explain what go-go juice is. It’s Red Bull mixed with Mountain Dew to make the pageant entrants extra sparkly!

Just…just watch. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. The whole thing is sad. The horrible moms, the brainwashed kids, George Stephanopoulos’ involvement…all of it.

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‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ Mom Suing Media For Sexualizing Her Daughter http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/toddlers-tiaras-mom-suing-media-for-sexualizing-her-daughter/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/toddlers-tiaras-mom-suing-media-for-sexualizing-her-daughter/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:45:18 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243608 Her money would be much better spent on getting a clue.

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The mom of a Toddlers & Tiaras contestant is suing media outlets for sexualizing her daughter. Susanna Barrett is suing TMZ, the Huffington Post, and London’s Daily Mail over a video posted of her 5-year old daughter, Isabella (whose totally single, guys), performing to LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It.”

The suit reads:

“Isabella Barrett did not act or portray herself sexually, erotically or provocatively; she was not ‘gyrating’ at a ‘nightclub’ or singing ‘about her sex appeal.’ On the contrary, it is the defendants who, through their articles, have thrust these false and vulgar characteristics on to Isabella,”

Those monsters! They took a perfectly harmless video of a tot singing the song which features lyrics, “When I walk in the spot, this is what I see. Everybody stops and they staring at me. I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it… I’m sexy and I know it,” and totally made it sexual. How dare they go ahead and write down an exact description of a situation presented to them? And they call themselves reporters. (NY Daily News)

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Your Mom Is On ‘My Strange Addiction’ Eating Cat Food http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/your-mom-is-on-my-strange-addiction-eating-cat-food/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/your-mom-is-on-my-strange-addiction-eating-cat-food/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:45:24 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=243561 In all fairness, Purina has been stepping up their game lately.

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(click photo to view video)

This clip from TLC’s My Strange Addiction really grosses me out. Not because it focuses on a woman that likes to eat cat food, but because of the way she talks to her cat. “Here’s one for you. And here’s one for mommy.” I’d be disgusted if she said that with people food too.

I can see how eating cat food is a strange addiction, given that it’s made from chicken and whatever else fell in the grinder byproducts, but it seems like it would be easily remedied by simply saying, “Hey Lady. Stop eating cat food! You are not a cat. You are a lady.” (Vulture)

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It Was A Matter Of Time: ‘Toddlers And Tiaras’ Mom Dresses Daughter Up Like Lady Gaga http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/it-was-a-matter-of-time-toddlers-and-tiaras-mom-dresses-daughter-up-like-lady-gaga/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/it-was-a-matter-of-time-toddlers-and-tiaras-mom-dresses-daughter-up-like-lady-gaga/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:35:01 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=241394 Are Laci's fans Little Little Monsters?

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First of all, I would like to go on record as saying I think that ALL parents, not just pageant moms, should dress their children, boys and girls alike, as Lady Gaga. I think it would make meeting people’s kids much more interesting.

“Which one is your son?”

“Over there on the see-saw, in the flank steak negligee, wrapped in caution tape.”

“I would like to get to know him better.”

That said, I’m not entirely sure that dressing your child as Lil’ Lady Gaga is the right strategy in winning a beauty pageant. I don’t think she’s the archetype of beauty most judges are looking for. Nonetheless, tonight’s Toddlers and Tiaras features Laci, a girl doomed from the start with that name, dressed up as the pop sensation, even emerging from a mirrored egg for her entrance.

However, dressing your child up as some sort of asexual alien-woman then having her emerge from a phallic egg doesn’t go off without a hitch, shockingly. Lil’ Laci spills out of the egg (video here from Huffington Post), and the audience would have been laughing if only they had been aware of how ridiculous this whole thing is.

In case this recap of events didn’t lead you to immediately look up the time and channel on which this spectacle may be witnessed, it’s tonight, on TLC, and 10 PM EST. See ya there.

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TLC Takes Spectacle Television To New Heights With ‘All-American Muslim’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/tlc-takes-spectacle-television-to-new-heights-with-all-american-muslim/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/tlc-takes-spectacle-television-to-new-heights-with-all-american-muslim/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:35:12 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=236132 They opted out of the working title 'Look At These Weird Muslims!'

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TLC, realizing that they’ve already done midgets, polygamists, and families that breed like rabbits, have decided to branch out with a show that lets middle America know that there are at least five Muslim families that aren’t currently plotting to blow up our monuments, hospitals, and schools.

All-American Muslim follows five Muslim families that reside in Dearborn, Michigan, a town with the highest density of Muslims in the United States. In an interview with AOLTV (why, AOLTV?), two of the families shed some light on what the series is and isn’t about. Hint: They won’t be up to Jersey Shore-like antics, which is a shame, because that’s probably the only circumstance under which I would watch this show.

Assuming this show accomplishes its goal and depicts the five families as normal, well-adjusted Americans (which I’m sure they are), why the hell would anyone watch it? The only way this would serve as any sort of entertainment is if the subjects were doing very strange things (and by “strange,” I don’t mean praying to Mecca or practicing Islam).

It sounds like a Muslim The Osbournes. Hmmm. Maybe I will watch it.

Also, don’t be alarmed or unsettled for the U.S. Army recruiting ad that is placed before this video. I’m sure that’s….just a coincidence. Geez, TLC, you’re really firing on all cylinders here, aren’t you? 

 

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TLC Decides We Know Enough About Kate Gosselin And Her Kids, Cancels ‘Kate Plus 8′ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlc-decides-we-know-enough-about-kate-gosselin-and-her-kids-cancels-kate-plus-8/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlc-decides-we-know-enough-about-kate-gosselin-and-her-kids-cancels-kate-plus-8/#comments Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:52:43 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=224578 'Kate Plus 8', we hardly knew ye. Seriously. I never watched that show.

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It’s the end of an era. A stupid, stupid era. TLC has announced that it has cancelled Kate Plus 8, the mass-marketed sideshow that featured the divorcee and her gaggle of children that for some reason served as a voyeuristic escape for women in middle America.

Once Jon Gosselin was removed from the show, with him went that sweet Ed Hardy product placement cash, causing the show to circle the drain for a few years before ultimately collapsing. Note: this is just a theory of mine.

But fear not, weirdos who like this show! You won’t have to quit your dependence on this woman and her flock cold-turkey. TLC has issued a statement, offering, “TLC hopes to check in with Kate and the family periodically with specials in the future.”

Oh thank God.

Perhaps some specials we can look forward to:

Kate Finds Out How Much College Is Going To Cost And Takes The Kids On A Special Trip To The Bottom Of  A Lake

Kate Gets Back On The Dating Scene, Trying To Convince Potential Suitors That Raising 8 Children Isn’t An Interminable Nightmare

Why Is Daddy In The Kitchen Making Us Pancakes?

Gosselin Survivor: Which Child Will Get Voted Off Next?

Kate Crying For 90 Minutes Straight

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TLC’s ‘Sister Wives’ is Heavy on Polygamy and Ankle-Length Jean Skirts http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlcs-sister-wives-is-heavy-on-polygamy-and-ankle-length-jean-skirts/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/tlcs-sister-wives-is-heavy-on-polygamy-and-ankle-length-jean-skirts/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 I'll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine. TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network's new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It's like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping. But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they're just like you or me...except for the whole "cult" thing. “They are very much a modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’" You know, he has a point. Maybe there's nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don't shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I'm pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)

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I’ll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine.

TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network’s new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It’s like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping.

But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they’re just like you or me…except for the whole "cult" thing.

“They are very much modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’"

You know, he has a point. Maybe there’s nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don’t shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I’m pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)

 

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Sarah Palin to Star in ‘Alaska’ Reality Show on TLC http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sarah-palin-to-star-in-alaska-reality-show-on-tlc/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sarah-palin-to-star-in-alaska-reality-show-on-tlc/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 That's right. The most popular Halloween costume of 2009 (and would-be vice-leader of the free world) is joining the esteemed ranks of reality television. TLC has landed the Sarah Palin's "Alaska" reality series. In the eight episode series, Palin will show us her Alaska as well as take us inside her home. But knowing TLC this is all just a launchpad for a series about competitive moose-eating contests. I know how they think.Discovery Communications edged out rival A&E Networks for the show, with the remaining question being which of its suite of channels would air the program. Discovery Channel is considered the flagship brand, and certainly a home for travelogues, though the company felt Palin's appeal was better suited toward mom-friendly TLC. The network is best known for "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," and also airs "Cake Boss," "Little People, Big World" and "American Chopper." (THR)Seeing how being dumb on television launched Jessica Simpson and Snooki into super-stardom, my prediciton is we'll either see Palin in the White House or shilling for Carl's Jr as a result of this. Maybe both.

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That’s right. The most popular Halloween costume of 2009 (and would-be vice-leader of the free world) is joining the esteemed ranks of reality television. TLC has landed the Sarah Palin‘s "Alaska" reality series. In the eight episode series, Palin will show us her Alaska as well as take us inside her home. But knowing TLC this is all just a launchpad for a series about competitive moose-eating contests. I know how they think.

Discovery Communications edged out rival A&E Networks for the show, with the remaining question being which of its suite of channels would air the program. Discovery Channel is considered the flagship brand, and certainly a home for travelogues, though the company felt Palin’s appeal was better suited toward mom-friendly TLC. The network is best known for "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," and also airs "Cake Boss," "Little People, Big World" and "American Chopper." (THR)

Seeing how being dumb on television launched Jessica Simpson and Snooki into super-stardom, my prediciton is we’ll either see Palin in the White House or shilling for Carl’s Jr as a result of this. Maybe both.

 

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