Screen Junkies » titanic http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:44:29 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.3 Honest Posters #1: ’90s Movies! http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/honest-posters-1-90s-movies/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/honest-posters-1-90s-movies/#comments Fri, 26 Sep 2014 19:56:02 +0000 bgoldstein http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=265529 Today, we present five Honest Posters of '90s hits, including Titanic, Home Alone, and Forrest Gump. Enjoy, and stay tuned for more!

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ScreenJunkies.com is proud to present the first installment of Honest Posters! The concept is simple — we took some of the funniest lines from our smash-hit Honest Trailers series, and slapped ‘em on the original movie posters for your enjoyment. Today, we present five Honest Posters of ’90s hits, including Titanic, Home Alone, and Forrest Gump. Enjoy, and stay tuned for more!

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10 Iconic Movie Lines, If They Were Written Today http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:50:31 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262898 We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low.

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By Jared Jones

We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low. For every hour that The Learning Channel is allowed to continuing airing reality shows about polygamist midgets suffering from bipolar schizophrenia, or delusional, cupcake-baking Long Island housewives who communicate with ghosts, the IQ of the average earthling drops 10 points, thrusting our collective vocabulary ever closer to the monosyllabic, hybrid hillbilly and valley girl grunts uttered by the mouth-breathing troglodytes depicted in Idiocracy (*accepts award for greatest sentence ever written*).

The movie world has not been spared in this eradication of intellect, and could honestly be considered one of its greatest forerunners. Even the whimsical insults of eras past have been all but forgotten in favor of the base-level “sick burns” churned up by today’s creatively-bankrupt minds.

“His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.” — Mae West, 1934

“It tastes like fuckin’ dick infused with balls.” — Adam Sandler, 2013

To loosely quote Not Sure, there was a time long ago when screenplays were penned with the writer’s blood, sweat, and tears, not hastily scribbled onto a cocktail napkin amidst a three-day coke binge with Michael Bay. But times have changed. Can you imagine how some of the most iconic lines in film history would sound if they were written today? Gee, I wonder…

10 — “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

Modern equivalent: “I got 99 problems but this bitch ain’t one.”

9 — “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Modern equivalent: “Life’s like a bowl of ‘sketti and butter, so go tell Sugar Bear it’s done.” (*farts*)

8 — “A boy’s best friend is his mother.

Modern Equivalent: “A boy’s best friend is *your* mother, who I totally put a dent in last night.”

7 — “They’re here.”

Modern Equivalent: “Oh sh*t there’s some ghost-lookin’ muthaf*ckas in the TV screen!”

6 — “Yo, Adrian!”

Modern Equivalent: “Yo, Adrian!” Truly a man ahead of his time, that Stallone.

5 — “If you build it, he will come.”

Modern equivalent: “If you f*ck it, fame will come.”

4 — “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

Modern Equivalent: “Gin and juice. Beeeitch.”

3 — “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Modern Equivalent: “I’ve a serious man-crush on you, Lou. No homo.”

2 — “I’m the King of the World!”

Modern Equivalent: “Suck my d*ck, Planet Earth!”

1 — “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

Modern Equivalent: “If anyone else wanna kill some aliens, let me hear you say yeah!”

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7 Movies That Will Make You Glad You’re Single On Valentine’s Day http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-movies-that-will-make-you-glad-youre-single-on-valentines-day/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-movies-that-will-make-you-glad-youre-single-on-valentines-day/#comments Thu, 06 Feb 2014 22:00:27 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259128 Ask yourself: Would you want to trade places with any of these folks?

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It’s almost Valentine’s Day, a holiday that seems to exist more as an opportunity to smear your smug love in the faces of third parties than it does to celebrate your love with your loved one. I mean, just picking one day seems kind of arbitrary to do that.

So while the lovers are off overpaying for fixed-price dinners with seatings at 6:00, 8:30, and 11:00, or spending $40 dollars on some frozen roses, the single can take a moment to breathe in the air the surrounds them. Air free of obligation, compromise, or regret. OK. That sounds pretty damn smug, too.

Let’s compromise: If you’re in a relationship, you have every right to be happy. But, you best watch out, because there can be way more downside than improperly-squeezed toothpaste, default toilet seat position arguments, and visiting in-laws. There’s also murder, jealousy, wrath, and just a general vitriol that single people just don’t have to worry about.

And here are seven films that can back that up.

7. Fatal Attraction


When you begin a relationship, especially an affair, there’s a good chance that it will end with a vindictive, desperate lover, boiling your daughter’s pet rabbit in a pot of water in your kitchen.

Failed relationships kill kids’ rabbits. That’s the takeaway here. Oh, and don’t cheat on your wife. But mainly, if you don’t get into any relationships, the rabbits will die of old age. Or in the hands of Lenny from Of Mice and Men.

6. Fear


Granted, Reese Witherspoon’s character’s problem really didn’t start until she was back to being single, but that’s pretty semantic. All this happens when you date Mark Wahlberg. Or his character. Maybe both.

Fear teaches us that your best judgment can be really, really wrong, and even something as innocuous as a high school fling can go from fingering you on a rollercoaster one second, to cutting your dog’s head off later on. The film could be called Fear (of Intimacy) because it could cause even the most romantic of souls to run a background check on the one they’re with.

5. Sid and Nancy

We’ll call this one a worst-case scenario, but it still serves as a pretty compelling cautionary tale. Hopefully you don’t think of yourself as cast in the vein of Sid Vicious or Nancy Spungen, but it’s an extreme case of the all too common issues of codependency and enabling that destructive relationships are known for. You keep screwing up? You don’t need to change, just find another person who accepts you, and you’ll never need to improve. You just keep screwing up. And when that person realizes that maybe you’re not such a great catch (possibly after slamming some H), they decide to end things by killing you. Then when they’re in jail, they realized that the fragile little world they’ve built for themselves is a charade, and they kill themselves while awaiting trial for murder.

Again, not the norm, but indicative of some relationship pitfalls.

4. Casino

Casino showcases a lot of bad people. In fact, everyone in Casino is pretty much a different form of human garbage. But in a cast rife with unlikable sociopaths, Sharon Stone rises above the rest in Ginger. Ginger has a drug problem, anger issues, baggage in the form of a pimp ex-boyfriend named Lester, a tendency to steal, and gross indifference to her child.

Yet, she manages to bring Ace Rothstein to his knees every time. Not literally. Don’t be gross.

De Niro’s Sam Rothstein is about as cold and calculating as they come. So if this criminal mastermind can’t withstand the charms of this succubus, there’s no hope for you. Stay single or your children will be stolen by a pimp named Lester.

3. High Fidelity

Many thought John Cusack to be the archetypical romantic in Say Anything. And it could be argued by cynics (and possibly pragmatists) that his High Fidelity character, Rob Gordon, is what happens to the same young idealistic romantic when they experience failure in relationships over. And over. And over. They start obsessing over lost loves, lose ambition and perspective, make lists over inane things while maintaining a detached air over everyone they encounter as a defense mechanism.

In short, they become hipsters. Ick.

2. Titanic


Do you know how many love stories are sad? About half of them. And Titanic is the Titanic of them, if you will. If Jack hadn’t met Rose on that ship, he probably would have found his way onto a life raft, drifted around, then ended up becoming a character in Boardwalk Empire that gets shot in the head around the end of season two.

Seriously…as trite as it is dissecting the sappiness of a film like Titanic, you know what’s better than spending two great days with someone and wearing a tuxedo? Living the next 50 years of your life. But that wasn’t an option for Jack because he was snowblind from love. So he died freezing and trying to hang on to an armoire in the middle of the Atlantic.

It might be a story for the ages, but I don’t think anyone would want to change places with Jack if they had the gift of hindsight. Not for all the sweaty, steamy Model-T Ford car sex in the world.

1. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Since I can’t put the “dinner party” episode of The Office up here, I’ll put its cinematic equivalent. The film adaptation of the Edward Albee play pits two couples contending with internal and external discord in one room for two hours. “Uncomfortable” doesn’t begin to describe the slow-motion trainwreck of dysfunction that develops for both the young couple and the older couple—who clearly serve as a portent of things to come.

While it’s not an evenhanded portrayal of any loving institution, it does serve to show the contempt, suffering, and fatigue that can come from sharing your life with another. It serves as a sort of gory driver’s ed video for the bumpy road that is relationships.

“This isn’t the way things normally go, but they can get this bad if you’re not working or paying attention.”

Let’s just hope you all are. To the single, dating, and betrothed: Have a happy day, celebrate (or not) however you would like, and don’t end up like these poor bastards.

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Bruce Wayne and 5 Other Joyless Rich Jerks In Movies http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/bruce-wayne-and-5-other-joyless-rich-jerks-in-movies/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/bruce-wayne-and-5-other-joyless-rich-jerks-in-movies/#comments Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:26:34 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=249834 Smile, guys. You're loaded.

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With The Dark Knight Rises rising on the horizon, Hollywood is abuzz with all things Batman, and under that umbrella falls the man behind the mask, Bruce Wayne. Wayne wouldn’t be the hero that he is if it wasn’t for a really shitty life up to the point he decided to don the cape, and a big part of that was being rich.

Sure, being rich affords him guys like Lucius, but it also made him miserable enough to shake things up a little. Here’s a few other guys that prove money can’t buy happiness all the time.

Now let’s talk about some rich jerks.

Nicholas van Orton – The Game

He watched his dad die, and seems to exist as some “forever alone” billionaire. He treats everyone, including his addict brother, like crap. Knock it off, NVO. You’ve got great shoes and a really nice housekeeper that makes you nice baked goods for your birthday.

Van Orton is pretty much the only guy we see who really shows promise of change late in their film. All because of the game. The game works. It changes people. But how much? I want to see the continuation of this story with Nicholas running around like a better-dressed Mr. Deeds, though that will probably never, ever happen.

Oh, to dream!

Cal Hockley – Titanic

If you’re going to be a rich jerk, then own it. And no one owns “rich jerk” like Billy Zane (“ZANE!”) playing a privileged asshole on the Titanic, a ship loaded with privileged assholes. I know James Cameron is busy making 14 more Avatar films, but couldn’t he hand off the next chapter of Titanic, aka “What became of Cal?” to a lesser director, like F. Gary Gray, or Rob Cohen?

Cal was so awesomely evil that it makes me want to punch my computer in delight. He shot Jack Dawson’s friend in the stomach, and probably displaced poor women and children so that he could live. Can’t say I argue with either of those (Jack’s friend was annoying, and I really like not being dead), but when you do those things with slicked-back hair, it takes things to another level.

Sometimes being a jerk is awesome, and Cal is just the awesomest.

Bruce Wayne – Batman Franchise

Granted, Batman’s had a tough go of it, but as far as superheroes go, he’s lacking in the levity department. I’m sorry that you were in a Nepalese prison, Bruce. I’m sorry that your name is Bruce, Bruce. I’m sorry that your parents were killed by criminals, Bruce. I’m sorry that you were terrified by bats when you were younger, Bruce.

Now turn that frown upside down and live like you acted in The Dark Knight with the Lamborghini, and buying the restaurant, and the two hot girls.

And stop scowling. You’re so much more handsome when you smile, friend!

Terry Benedict – Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13

Terry Benedict is one of the few self-made men on this list, but that doesn’t free him from the sourpuss affliction that hits so many of the guys that are just born into money.

Terry struts around like everyone is trying to screw him, which is actually pretty prescient, because the entire Ocean’s franchise is predicated on people trying to screw Terry Benedict. Also, maybe he feels ridiculous and wallows in shame because he’s always dressed in insane Asian-inspired suits that make him look like a monk attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. In any event, he’s a Grumpy Gus, and I don’t just throw around the phrase “Grumpy Gus.” Why would I?

Sebastian Valmont – Cruel Intentions

He’s sex obsessed, but not in a funny Jason Biggs-in-American-Pie way, but rather a “there’s nothing that will ever fill the emptiness I have from being a privileged bastard” way. He’s about two steps away from being a total Patrick Bateman, but he manages to sort of, kind of, make good by the end of the film, even though he’s still pretty much a dick.

Smile, Sebastian. You’ve got a great car, a great townhouse, and well-tailored shirts and hunting outfits. If you’re ambling around Manhattan, try to run into Thomas Crown. He’s insanely rich as well, but seems to derive a little more pleasure from his good fortune than you do.

Money’s only a curse if you let it be.

I just made that up, but it could be right. Mo’ money, mo’ problems, my ass.

The Malfoys – Harry Potter

You’ve got SO much money, Malfoys. Why can’t you give up the whole “flirting with evil” thing and just buy an island and sponsor a Formula One team instead of teaming up with that whose name we shouldn’t be saying? You know, the V-word. Well, one of the v-words. The Malfoys are definitely what you would consider “old money,” but that’s no excuse for being evil, though it is pretty clear that the loner money has been in a family, the more likely it is that the character will be joyless and just grumpy.

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Our 7 Favorite Unintentionally Funny Deaths In Film http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/our-7-favorite-unintentionally-funny-deaths-in-film/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/our-7-favorite-unintentionally-funny-deaths-in-film/#comments Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:00:18 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=248098 These are matters of life and hilarious death.

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Sometimes, death can’t help but be funny, even though we don’t want it to be. Sure, I wouldn’t like to see any of my friends or family suffer such fates, but it’s hard not to enjoy watching these mostly hammy actors meeting the most ridiculous ends imaginable.

The more painful the death looks, the funnier it is, with the RoboCop guy probably taking the cake for worst way to go.

Please, keep reading for a funny list.

Nameless Dude From Coffee Shop Who Becomes The Vessel Through Which Death Appears – Meet Joe Black

If you want to set the table for a three-hour study of whatever the hell issues Meet Joe Black was trying to earnestly tackle, don’t have the star of the film die in the most ridiculous fashion of any film ever. The only thing people remember about Meet Joe Black is that Brad Pitt gets hit, while airborne, by no less than 411 cars.

It was hilarious to watch the pretty boy get completely clipped in the opening minutes, in the background, no less. But as time marches on, I still fail to see what the logic was for such a cartoonish death. Maybe he could have had renal failure. Or maybe he could have been the victim of some white-on-white crime.

At the risk of being hyperbolic, it’s sort of like if Orson Welles had been eaten by piranhas at the beginning of Citizen Kane.

Dillon – Predator

I didn’t realize how ridiculous the late 80’s hyperviolent action movies were at the time, but in hindsight, the deaths that seemed so genuine and real to me as a kid seem really, really funny now. I realize there’s nothing inherently funny about Carl Weathers getting his arm shot off, then blown up by an alien laser (ok, maybe there is), but I’m going to have to claim some revisionist history here, as Arrested Development really went a long way towards clearing things up.

Any time someone loses an arm/hand and that arm/hand is still doing something, in this case shooting a gun, it’s probably not going to be taken too seriously.

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Honest Trailers: ‘Titanic 3D’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-titanic-3d/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-titanic-3d/#comments Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:25:49 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=247981 Save yourself three hours and just watch this honest trailer...

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Remember that stupid movie about a boat you hated back in 1997? Well it’s back, and this time, it’s in 3D. Somehow, this actually makes Phantom Menace 3D make sense by comparison.

Rather than shelling out $20 to fund James Cameron’s next submarine adventure, we suggest you just watch the Screen Junkies honest trailer, and see what Titanic 3D is all about without wasting another 3.5 hours of your life.

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The 9 Highest-Grossing Movies Of All Time (Written Without Help From Wikipedia) http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-9-highest-grossing-movies-of-all-time-written-without-help-from-wikipedia/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-9-highest-grossing-movies-of-all-time-written-without-help-from-wikipedia/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:04:16 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=242784 This list will prove just how capable we writers are without our precious "Wikipedia."

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As you probably know by now, Wikipedia has gone dark today in order to protest SOPA, the Stop Online Piracy Act. Like thousands of other journalists, Screen Junkies writers use Wikipedia not as a final source in our research, but as a jumping-off point, with its claims noted, but always, always, verified using more reputable sources.

In an effort to demonstrate that Wikipedia is a helpful tool, but by no means the alpha and omega of our efforts, we thought we would run through the 9 highest-grossing films of all time while Wikipedia is shut down. I challenge our readers to spot any difference in the quality of research.

Let the games begin.

9. Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland is of course based off a book of the same name, written by an author quite some time ago. The primary characters are Alice, Christopher Cat, the Wicked Queen, and the Mad Hatter. The film, despite being horrible, managed to gross millions of dollars, putting it in the #9 spot. To give you an idea of how much money this film grossed, imagine that for every dollar that it made, you stacked a ruler lengthwise on top of another ruler. The resulting tower of rulers would be many million feet tall!

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stronger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean is a bit of a Cinderella story, in that many questioned not only how successful it would be, but why it was actually being made. No one wanted to take seriously a film that was based on a ride at Disneyworld or perhaps Disneyland. Maybe both. The first film, which was titled Pirates of the Caribbean: [SOMETHING], came a bit after Johnny Depp’s work on 21 Jump Street, but before his death. The film also starred Orlando Bloom, who I’m completely positive is dating that hot Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. I don’t need Wikipedia to tell me who Miranda Kerr is banging.

Hmm. I know they were together like two years ago, but I also know it’s hard to stay faithful on movie sets. Especially with Salma Hayek and Keira Knightley around.

7. Toy Story 3

This was at least the 10th film by Pixar. Some of the other films they did were ANTZ, Bee Movie, and Shrek. This made more money than all of those films, possibly combined. Toy Story 3 was based on a script of the same name. Both the script and the film featured a cowboy, a deep sea diver named Hank, and myriad friends. This film also made millions of dollars. Steve Jobs was also involved in every Pixar movie. I believe he actually wrote the script for Mulan.

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http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-9-highest-grossing-movies-of-all-time-written-without-help-from-wikipedia/feed/ 0 Alice in Wonderland 2011_pirates_of_the_caribbean_on_stranger_tides_0011 Toy-Story-3
The Many Looks Of William George (Billy) Zane Jr. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/the-many-looks-of-william-george-billy-zane-jr/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/the-many-looks-of-william-george-billy-zane-jr/#comments Thu, 13 Oct 2011 22:42:44 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=232403 "Put a cork in it, Billy Zane."

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For an actor who hasn’t really had any big roles…ever, Billy Zane sure has been masterful about maneuvering his way into the popular consciousness. Granted, there are many different ways to do this, such as political action, charity involvement, and, of course, public romances.

Billy Zane hasn’t gone those routes. As best I can tell, Zane has made his presence felt not by his craft or any of the aforementioned items, but simply by changing his appearance over. And over. And over. It’s his eye for fashion that perhaps garnered him his most high-profil role (cameo) to date, stretching his range by playing “Billy Zane” in Zoolander. He was informed by Derek Zoolander to “Put a cork in it,” after suggesting to the aging model that he might want to reconsider going head-to-head with that Hansel, who was so hot right then.

12. “Turkish Academic” Zane

He'll get in your pants, but not before he shares with you his thoughts on Carthage.

11. “Tobias Funke’s Brother, Arturo” Zane

You're not seeing things. One lens is clearly darker than the other.

10. “Guido Swing Kid” Zane

He'll stop Hitler, then he'll roofie your date.

9. “Sometimes I Pass Myself Off As A Middle-Aged Black Guy” Zane

"Why yes, I did subscribe to 'Jet'. Why do you ask, my brother?"

8. Giussepe Zane

"My hair...it's...not much. So I shave-a da head."

7. “Brokeback Molehill” Zane

Oh, how I wish I knew how to quit you, Billy Zane!

6. “These Are My Nipples” Zane

5. “Now I’m Hispanic” Zane

"I even say 'tornado' like this: 'tohr-nah-do'"

4. “I’m Thinking About Re-Upholstering My Yacht” Zane

"Brandy Alexander, please. Make it a double."

3. “My Stylist Went Off His Meds” Zane

"My dad was Bono and my mom was in a ska band."

2. “Just Got Out Of Bed” Zane

He was born looking this way.

1. Red, White, and Zane

I've never been prouder of our nation's flag.

 

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http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/the-many-looks-of-william-george-billy-zane-jr/feed/ 0 tukish academic Tobias Funke’s Bothe, Atuo You're not seeing things. One lens is clearly darker than the other. The Coolest Swing Kid He'll stop Hitler, then he'll roofie your date. Somtimes I Pass Myself Off As A Middle Aged Black Guy Zane "Why yes, I did subscribe to 'Jet'. Why do you ask, my brother?" Maite’ D Zane My hair...it's...not much. So I shave-a da head. bokeback molehill Oh, how I wish I knew how to quit you, Billy Zane! Now I’m Hispanic Zane "I even say 'tornado' like this: 'tohr-nah-do'" No One’s Mentiond My Ascot Zane "Brandy Alexander, please. Make it a double." Mighty-Mighty-Bosstones-Meet-Bono-Zane "My dad was Bono and my mom was in a ska band." Just Got Out Of Bed Zane He was born looking this way. ed white and zane I've never been prouder of our nation's flag.
Screw ‘Avatar’: 8 Movies That Deserve An Amusement Park Ride http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/screw-avatar-8-movies-that-deserve-their-own-amusement-park-rides/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/screw-avatar-8-movies-that-deserve-their-own-amusement-park-rides/#comments Wed, 21 Sep 2011 13:29:51 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229278 If Spinning Teacups can be a ride, so can these.

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The announcement that James Cameron and Disney are teaming to create Avatar: The Ride seems like a no-brainer. The movie made butt-clumps of cash and the instantly recognizable characters live in a lush world of breathtaking beauty. Also, there are these, like, dragon things they fly on. It only makes sense that the world of Pandora would me immortalized as a thrill-ride.

However, there are a few other films out there that deserved their chance to frighten and exhilarate thousands of excited fans. But alas, for some reason or another, the deals never went through. Here are seven films that would undoubtedly make kick-ass amusement park attractions.

Final Destination 3

Though it would be tough to get the insurance companies on board, Final Destination 3 would make an excellent roller-coaster. Think of how scared you and your friends would be knowing that the brakes and safety equipment could give at any moment. But which moment? It’s the anticipation that’s truly scary.

Titanic

Titanic has thrill ride written all over it. Imagine the rush as you cling to a railing with icy water rushing to meet you. Then your life boat-shaped pod drops and stops just short of making a splash before rising up and doing it all over again.

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Breaking News: ‘Avatar’ Makes James Cameron Wealthy http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/breaking-news-avatar-makes-james-cameron-wealthy/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/breaking-news-avatar-makes-james-cameron-wealthy/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Clappin' all night in this bitch.Thanks to better than expected DVD sales, richy-richerson James Cameron is set to earn $350 million dollars from Avatar. That's a record breaking number for a director to make from one film, and well over a thousand times more than what a blogger can earn annually for writing pithy articles about movie-making on the Internet. But that doesn't matter to me. It's really my passion for Photoshop that keeps me going.The $350 million figure far outpaces the $97 million that Cameron earned for Titanic. That number will climb, of course, when he re-releases a 3D version of Titanic later this year (after re-releasing Avatar). We need a new term to accurately describe that amount of money. It's not f*ck you money, it's f*ck the continent of Asia money. (Deadline)

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Clappin’ all night in this bitch.

Thanks to better than expected DVD sales, richy-richerson James Cameron is set to earn $350 million dollars from Avatar. That’s a record breaking number for a director to make from one film, and well over a thousand times more than what a blogger can earn annually for writing pithy articles about movie-making on the Internet. But that doesn’t matter to me. It’s really my passion for Photoshop that keeps me going.

The $350 million figure far outpaces the $97 million that Cameron earned for Titanic. That number will climb, of course, when he re-releases a 3D version of Titanic later this year (after re-releasing Avatar). We need a new term to accurately describe that amount of money. It’s not f*ck you money, it’s f*ck the continent of Asia money. (Deadline)

 

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‘Titanic’ 3D Sets Sail in 2012 http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/titanic-3d-sets-sail-in-2012/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/titanic-3d-sets-sail-in-2012/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 When James Cameron isn't saving the indigenous people of South America or cleaning up the BP oil spill, he spends time on his favorite hobby: filmmaking. Currently, Cameron is tinkering with a little-known film called Titanic. It was originally released in 1997 and was primarily shown in art-house theaters and on college campuses. Now, Cameron hopes to bring his work to a wider audience by converting it to 3D and re-releasing it to theaters in April of 2012.2012 marks the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's sinking, which went down on April 14th, 1912, much to the delight of melodramatic film lovers everywhere. (/Film)

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When James Cameron isn’t saving the indigenous people of South America or cleaning up the BP oil spill, he spends time on his favorite hobby: filmmaking. Currently, Cameron is tinkering with a little-known film called Titanic. It was originally released in 1997 and was primarily shown in art-house theaters and on college campuses. Now, Cameron hopes to bring his work to a wider audience by converting it to 3D and re-releasing it to theaters in April of 2012.

2012 marks the 100th anniversary of the Titanic‘s sinking, which went down on April 14th, 1912, much to the delight of melodramatic film lovers everywhere. (/Film)

 

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You Can Be in ‘Titanic 2′! Mermaid Experience Preferred. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/you-can-be-in-titanic-2-mermaid-experience-preferred/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/you-can-be-in-titanic-2-mermaid-experience-preferred/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Sooooo someone's making Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors. There's a casting call for it on Craigslist, which means I can only assume it's absolutely legit. You want to audition? Shave and oil your legs and slip those flippers on for your big shot on July 1st and 2nd. "Actors with mermaid and under water acting experience are highly desirable." The synopsis straight from the source:"The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise. Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates. Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?"I'm going to go out on a limb and say this could possibly be the best movie ever. When was the last time we saw a decent mermaid war waged on film, or video, or whatever they're going to shoot this thing on? I don't care what anyone says, tridents are a true mermaid man pirate's weapon of choice. Now let's take this sunken ship by force! **Stabs cheese cubes with three-pronged fork, dives into kiddy pool** (Cinematical)

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Sooooo someone’s making Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors. There’s a casting call for it on Craigslist, which means I can only assume it’s absolutely legit. You want to audition? Shave and oil your legs and slip those flippers on for your big shot on July 1st and 2nd. "Actors with mermaid and under water acting experience are highly desirable." The synopsis straight from the source:

"The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise. Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates. Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?"

I’m going to go out on a limb and say this could possibly be the best movie ever. When was the last time we saw a decent mermaid war waged on film, or video, or whatever they’re going to shoot this thing on? I don’t care what anyone says, tridents are a true mermaid man pirate’ weapon of choice. Now let’s take this sunken ship by force! **Stabs cheese cubes with three-pronged fork, dives into kiddy pool** (Cinematical)

 

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